Well, here's a little test
Do I write better semi-innebriated or fully sober?
Again a qucik piece:

Love let me sleep tonight under your stairwell
So I can at least retain part of your memory
That you seem so keen for me to forget
But I’ll carry on,
A useless fool on an escapade

Must I dream and always think of you?
Must I sit here in the corner and burn, always?
I guess, I guess
I guess I’m too young to realise, but I’m too old to let go

Sweet child, I’ve been on the run for so long,
Now I’m in place, I feel like doing it all again,
Yet I’ve lost you, seems even as friend,
You forget,
I’m a useless fool on his sole escapade

Must I dream and always think of you?
Must I sit here in the corner and burn, always?
I guess, I guess
I guess I’m too young to realise, but I’m too old to let go

A list of a thousand names, yet mine remains
Shattered, thoughts constricted to only one
Searching for a way, to drown the pain, and finding naught
Your contempt,
For a useless fool on his sole escapade

Sweet child, I’ve been on the run for so long,
Now I’m in place, I feel like doing it all again,
Yet I’ve lost you, seems even as friend,
You forget,
I’m a useless fool on his sole escapade


I personally feel that it's quite bad really. Any thoughts/comments from ya'll??

Well, you little Emo Beast! I thought it wasn't bad, However there was a line that I don't think came across the way you wanted it to.
"So I can at least retain part of your memory
That you seem so keen for me to forget"
You don't want to remember what she remembers do you or do you want to keep her in your memory yourself? Of course, I guess it would matter what part of speech you were using 'memory' as, too, so maybe my first impression wasn't the right one. So this was all totally unnecessary for me to say.

Been a rough day.

Anyways, it had some bits of cool imagery in it and sort of a darkened, shadowy feel to it which I liked. And the everlasting love attitude I liked, too.

__________________

Aww thanks.

The bit where it goes:
"So I can at least retain part of your memory
That you seem so keen for me to forget"

Well that means that I want to retain memories of her, but she wants me to forget them.

*sigh* indeed, lately I have shown more of the inner "emo" beast.

good stuff. pretty depressing, but i'm in the mood for it at the moment. i also liked the everlasting love attitude. keep the works coming

Cheers dude