2005-04-21, 21:09
|
Post-whore
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 4,723
|
|
Where
Again, something done quite quickly, here it is:
There’s the sun in the sky,
Glaringly asking me to stay,
Yet it’s burnt her image into the chasms of my brain,
But I’m trapped, feeling myself fade away,
There’s the sickle prancing in and out of the days,
Burdened by the clouds,
It’s a man left with nothing to say,
Stars reveal themselves,
But it’s not the opening of my play.
Where has she gone,
Where has it gone,
Where has she gone,
Where has it gone,
Where has she gone,
Where has it gone, oh.
Oh I cry to the beating rhythm of her heart,
This battle ‘ll never change, It’ll stay the same,
But I’ve played my part, Yet again
Left with nothing to say
Fake promises aside,
Weak alibis contributing to defeat
Torn from my pride,
But the loss is bitter without the sweet.
Where has she gone,
Where has it gone,
Where has she gone,
Where has it gone,
Where has she gone,
Where has it gone, oh.
Thoughts/comments anyone?
Last edited by blizzard_beast : 2005-04-21 at 21:20.
|
2005-04-22, 00:54
|
|
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
|
|
Sounds sort of like a more mellow Pantera song. I'm not sure I like the 'it' lines in the chorus. They sound sort of just thrown in there. The rest I liked. It had some interesting imagery. Hauntingly dark sounding, but pretty darn good.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
|
2005-04-22, 01:07
|
Post-whore
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 4,723
|
|
Thanks L'BXX
The "it" means her love, or something along those lines - it's open to interpretation.
So,
Where has she gone
Where has "her love" gone
etc.
Pantera sounding? Cool, I was thinking about Jeff Buckley when I wrote it though!
|
2005-04-23, 20:40
|
|
Muffin Ass
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Sugar Britches
Posts: 2,340
|
|
I enjoyed this and can believe in it's sincerity....
What's difficult is getting the rhythm that the writer had when making it....so we gotta improvise ourselves.
I'd love to hear some of you guys lyrics/poetry eventually made into songs and uploaded.
Thanks for sharing.
|
2005-04-23, 20:48
|
Post-whore
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 4,723
|
|
Cheerio
If it helps, think of Jeff Buckley's Grace, it goes along quite nicely with it's rhythm.
|
2005-04-24, 13:22
|
Post-whore
Banned
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 2,471
|
|
great work man! this was great, i listened to it against 'thorns of oblivion' by cirith gorgor. very dark, mellow, evil. keep it coming
|
2005-04-24, 13:24
|
Post-whore
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 4,723
|
|
Cool, cheers dude
I appreciate the comments!
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
|