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This was an English assignment... Guess who it's about... Heh.

My nearest guess is that it's about an activity quite popular with effiminate, jealous, murderous, Norweigan pathological liars of a very androgenous nature. You know, the kind that get ass raped in prison and love every minute of it.

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I was thinking maybe about FBS when he's upset with stupid people around him. I haven't a clue, but I loved the imagery in it.

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Nice work Dame.

Thanks. And Chris, I believe a man by the name of Varg Vikernes is who you are trying to describe. I agree with you in the description, except if you had any idea what a Norwegian prison is like, you'd know that he isn't getting ass raped.

That was alright Dame, not too bad.

Well, go on! Have you been to a Norwegian prison? Varg's mere presence in such a prison would be enough to turn a bunch of burly outdoorsmen into clambering homo-sexual piranha fish, and turn on him like a school of fierce piranha fish after sensing the scent of a young boy's blood.

Actually, I am aware that Norweigan prisons are rather plush and accomodating in comparison with our typical prisons, but these crimes still occur (albeit on a much smaller scale), and in my opinion it only seems fairto assume that somebody as physically weak and girly looking as Christian Vikernes would be especially vulnerable to such predation. Given his history, I think it's also fair to assume he'd also be much more receptive to such an intrusion.

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He's actually too much of a big shot to be ass-raped in prison. There's bound to be some dumbass neo-nazi fuckhead keeping him from being violated in that very un-Vikingly way. Now, as for voluntary anal sex, I can't say.

The gasoline should be, if anything, the conductor. The arsonist is the composer, since the act ultimately originates in his mind and is performed as a creative expression of himself. Aside from that, and the fact that the Vikings were converted to Christianity by other Vikings (who seemed to have one of those 'Paul on the road to Damascus' conversions after being particularly nasty to those pesky Christians) and not by 'foreign ships,' which, to me anyway, incriminates the Vikings themselves more than any missionaries (just as the Paul conversion says more about him than it does about the proselytizing attempts of the Apostolic Church), it's fine. I'd recommend tinkering with the syntax in certain ways if you care at all.

Whats Syntax?

Word-placement. A few lines could be smoothed out, though really not too many.

You mean kinda like syllable count and stuff?

That's meter, which Dame seems to be neglecting and I wouldn't bother bringing up, as it would require a complete revision from the ground floor. I just mean some of the lines are clunky and could be tightned up, and would be if written as prose.

Haha, ok now I understand, cool.

It's not the syntax that's the problem here. The meter, ah who fucking cares about the meter. It's the actual writing itself that is too obvious and to unoriginal.
As it is, it has become ammo for all these psycho anti black metal posters, who must make sure that every black metal fan knows how much of a dick they can be. Bravo, your comments are deeply wounding, and all BM fans who read them shall surely parish, or give up listening to it. Or it could be that you've said this crap before, and if hasn't become ridiculous obvious, people either agree with you or don't. I'd bet you have never changed a BM fans mind, and if you have you weren't even close to the number one influence in that decision.

Nobody said a thing about black metal. We said Varg's a coward. Since black metal isn't synonymous with Varg, shut up you dumb shit Prozak parrot. Unlike you, nobody who makes fun of black metal's trying to change a single person's mind about it; we're satisfied with over-stating our own opinion whenever it's asked for. Not all statements are persuasions.

"shut up you dumb shit Prozak parrot"

Gotta love him.

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I realize the meter is shit. I wrote it in about 10 minutes because it was an English class assignment. I've never written anything really "metal" before and I just figured I'd post it. I was writing it from Varg's point of view so of course it is fucked up. The assignment was to get in someone's head. I did the best I could in a short amount of time.

If it makes you feel any better, the imagery is good.

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Nice Dame
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Anyone......
I wrote a bunch of wacky stuff once and posted it in a forum....everyone seemed to enjoy it but one guy said,

"Bia....you have an inate and intresting meter sense"

What they hell did he mean by that? I know little of these terms.

Meter is the rhythm. Most apparent in Dr. Seuss-like rhymes although that particular type rhythm is extremely old.

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I really find meter useless. To me, poetry doesn't have to have meter to be appealing.

I agree. Whatever the writer or the piece itself dictates. Go with the flow. I don't believe in boundaries.

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Boundaries tend to force creativity to show up where it would otherwise not appear. Poetry's an art form and, like any other, shouldn't be taken on loosely (unless you happen to have a Bukowski-like ability for spontaneous verse, but most don't and shouldn't convince themselves they do). It's popular to think otherwise, but every art's hard work.

However, since you'd chosen not to use meter, I wasn't recommending that you do, and I don't see anyone else doing so either. The suggestion was that you make it read better, not that you rewrite it entirely.

OK....so what did he mean when he said "Innate meter sense"?

Either he was being sarcastic and your poem was prosaic, or what you wrote fell naturally into a certain meter, probably iambic (short-long), since that's what English lends itself to, or it at least fell into a kind of rhythm when spoken out loud.

He also might not have had any idea what the fuck he was talking about and simply using a word he had heard before. Males on the internet will suck up to females (including giving praise where none is warranted, never flaming, and general ass-kissing) even though their chance of getting laid lies somewhere between 0 and 0.01%.

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I'm still figuring out if you are an asshole or if you are just kidding when you make incredibly rude comments.

So true.....had alot of that over the years.....however...this is one guy was perhaps the most respected and intelligent person on that forum and was polite and never did the E-Mackdaddy stuff.....and you're correct too about the 0 - 0.01%

LMAO

I didn't like it. Andrew you gay.

well myles, you eat moose for breakfast!!

Well, why don't you name some "incredibly rude comments" I have made and we can all find out together?

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I was gonna say 'where are they!' but then I remembered the MILF remarks. lol

Back on topic!

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Though I am MUCH more of a noob than most....I read alot and your posts and (among a few other members) they always stand out to me.......I have never seen a rude comment comming from you......I see sarcasm but it's intelligent and quite clever.....which is rarely a rude trait but more of class and tact mixed with witty humor.

Oh.....I could be wrong.
Heh

It's because Dame sucks and Chris dosn't, Bia
hahaha

Dame has to learn to put up with bullshit.