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2005-03-24, 21:26
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Post-whore
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So you'd like to make an Opeth song, but you have no talent...
You too can play like Mike Akerfeldt simply by following these easy steps!
1) Absolutely randomize to tuning on your guitar (i.g. fuck it up)
2) Crank up the reverb on your system
3) Play minor bar chords in a random fingerpicking pattern
4) Choose a name thats evil, yet mystical and beautiful (I chose Sorrowful Lamentations of the Moonlit River Mist)
5) If you choose to go the extra mile, use a voice effect with tons of reverb and whisper small messages such as "a white face reflected in the deep chasm of this stream in the pitch black forest of solitude"
And there you have it, perhaps not as good as anything Akerfeldt has ever done, but you're on your way!
Example of a finished work: http://www.digitalsoundplanet.com/M...010537_proj.mp3 
Last edited by Kalmahswamp : 2005-03-25 at 18:21.
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2005-03-24, 21:37
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Nov 2003
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Im sorry you had to think that
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2005-03-24, 21:42
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Naples, FL
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Corpsevomit98
Im sorry you had to think that
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what? |
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2005-03-24, 21:49
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MotörCat
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: 昔昔
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yet opeth uses standard tunning
and who would want to be an opeth rip off
__________________
POW MIA NEVER FORGOTTEN
no one can tell you to turn down your amp unless they're of higher skill or in your band
Why not make shit up as we go-fox
Ok. You're literate, intelligent and funny-FBS
"Calm down, Edgar back in your cage"-far beyond sane
"you suck the cat-avatar-guy doesnt"-The Doc
Now My Legacy Shall Live Forever!!
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2005-03-24, 21:50
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Naples, FL
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glad to see people over analyzing a bit of a joke/something to experiment with  |
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2005-03-24, 21:52
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El Diablo sin pantalones
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Yggdrassyl
Posts: 4,321
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That recording is too lame to be even considered a joke.
The list made me chuckle tough.
__________________
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Darko
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Requiem
Why would you sig that?
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Why not? Why would you sig me saying that I hate you? I was serious there, too. |
I'm in despair! The internet has left me in despair! |
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2005-03-24, 21:59
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: In the ass of our lord.
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I dont care what you think, but.. I like Opeth.
EDIT: This really probably might somehow not belong here and it really doesnt contribute anything.
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2005-03-24, 22:05
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Naples, FL
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why are you all assuming I don't like Opeth?
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2005-03-24, 22:11
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: In the ass of our lord.
Posts: 191
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Kalmahswamp
why are you all assuming I don't like Opeth?
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Im not assuming anything.
I just want the the world to know that i like Opeth.
And when thats accomplished, my brain will explode and the world will slowly die off in a somewhat maniacal black metal fasion.
EDIT: Im too Lazy too fix my spelling errors. |
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2005-03-24, 22:12
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Nov 2003
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i found it morally degrading to Opeth
just kidding i jsut think its funny and I commented on your Joke
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2005-03-24, 22:13
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Dec 2004
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How random is this? You could've chosen any shitty band to do this with, not just one.  |
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2005-03-24, 22:14
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MotörCat
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: 昔昔
Posts: 7,547
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by JacksonMan007
Im not assuming anything.
I just want the the world to know that i like Opeth.
And when thats accomplished, my brain will explode and the world will slowly die off in a somewhat maniacal black metal fasion.
EDIT: Im too Lazy too fix my spelling errors.
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but not lazy enough to put in a disclaimer
__________________
POW MIA NEVER FORGOTTEN
no one can tell you to turn down your amp unless they're of higher skill or in your band
Why not make shit up as we go-fox
Ok. You're literate, intelligent and funny-FBS
"Calm down, Edgar back in your cage"-far beyond sane
"you suck the cat-avatar-guy doesnt"-The Doc
Now My Legacy Shall Live Forever!!
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2005-03-24, 22:17
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Dec 2004
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Let me make one for....let's say COB for now.
1. Have a midget glamor girl to be ur singer.
2. Have tons of synth leads, actually so much to the point that it's like you're listening to a video game.
3. Basically have an invisible bassist.
4. Have Heineken, TONS of Heineken.
5. Have ur vocalist spit on the stage like every 5 seconds.
There you go, enjoy.  |
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2005-03-24, 22:26
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: In the ass of our lord.
Posts: 191
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by guitar_demon
but not lazy enough to put in a disclaimer |
Correctbut thats the way i am and you know that Cat Man.
While pretty funny( I consulted TBS on that one) Its still IMO very irrelevant to guitar discussion, and more akin to somthing like bands or chit-chat.
But yes pretty funny.
Quote:
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Let me make one for....let's say COB for now.
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^^^Now Thats Pretty damn funny^^^
You forgot the part about being a cocky douche.
Last edited by JacksonMan007 : 2005-03-24 at 22:29.
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2005-03-24, 23:05
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Naples, FL
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What relevance did blizzard beast's axel rose parody have to this area  |
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2005-03-25, 02:00
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HES BAAACK
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: slaying all the giants
Posts: 9,967
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haha kalmah your usually impeccable taste is off on this one :P
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2005-03-25, 02:12
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Post-whore
Banned
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Silent Night 6 6
Let me make one for....let's say COB for now.
1. Have a midget glamor girl to be ur singer. :
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err, that's nightwish you're thinking of dude. same country, but one's gothic power, and the other's powerspeeddeaththrashblackmallcore.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Silent Night 6 6
2. Have tons of synth leads, actually so much to the point that it's like you're listening to a video game.
3. Basically have an invisible bassist.
4. Have Heineken, TONS of Heineken.
5. Have ur vocalist spit on the stage like every 5 seconds.
There you go, enjoy. |
hahahahhaahahahahahahah  |
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2005-03-25, 05:16
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New Blood
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Join Date: Feb 2005
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Thanks for the laugh. Opeth is probably my favorite band and that still had me rolling.
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2005-03-25, 16:42
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Maastricht, Netherlands
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okay...this thread is completely useless so I'll add a band with it.
cradel of filth -_-
1) Purchase way too expensive gear and crank it up the have the shittiest sound in the world
2) Use a singer that sounds like someone who's sodomizing a goat
3) Cutt his legs off so he matches the length of the original singer
4) Play stolen "black metal" riffs
5) Enjoy
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2005-03-25, 17:35
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Lo, they do call to me...
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: virginia beach, VA
Posts: 2,209
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Six_Feet_Under_420
okay...this thread is completely useless so I'll add a band with it.
cradel of filth -_-
1) Purchase way too expensive gear and crank it up the have the shittiest sound in the world
2) Use a singer that sounds like someone who's sodomizing a goat
3) Cutt his legs off so he matches the length of the original singer
4) Play stolen "black metal" riffs
5) Enjoy |
you're dumb
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Too grim to function
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2005-03-25, 18:22
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Naples, FL
Posts: 1,916
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My post wasn't intended to make fun of Opeth. It was to give people a little something to fool around with. Bah  |
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2005-03-25, 19:31
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Maastricht, Netherlands
Posts: 1,506
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by MoonRaven
you're dumb
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that makes 2 of us...
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2005-03-25, 19:43
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Las Vegas
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I thought it was pretty funny.
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2005-03-25, 22:26
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: PEI, Canada
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haha fucking funny shit man
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2005-03-25, 22:35
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: San Antonio, TX
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2005-03-26, 04:23
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New Blood
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 24
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Somehow i feel like KalmahSwamp was very serious with what he says..
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2005-03-26, 10:38
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Maastricht, Netherlands
Posts: 1,506
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the thread was te be something to fool around with, not to say that opeth sucks...but hey...a joke once in a while doesn't hurt n e body
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.+-+ .....::::: Alive to Live, Not to Believe....In a God that I cannot see :::::..... +-+
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2005-03-27, 00:11
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Down the street from nHoE
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heres one for... children of bodom...
1) get an over exclamatory vocalist (preferably choking on a retarded cat)
2)get an almost as bad synth beat going
3)make a slayer cover that will make people laugh their asses off... silent scream... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
PS the trooper cover wanst to bad tho... the voc. sucks ass tho...
__________________
Quote:
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Originally Posted by IlikeRiffseveryone
im 50 percent irish and 100 percent pain. (SHAKE DOWN!!!!)
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NECROTIC
Canadian Brutal Death (So you know it's good)
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2005-03-27, 01:43
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: can't tell you,pisses them off
Posts: 248
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it was cute....specially the part about the minor bar chord randomly picked.
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Killer,intruder,homicidal man
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2005-03-27, 03:28
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,968
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Zertonshfits
heres one for... children of bodom...
1) get an over exclamatory vocalist (preferably choking on a retarded cat)
2)get an almost as bad synth beat going
3)make a slayer cover that will make people laugh their asses off... silent scream... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
PS the trooper cover wanst to bad tho... the voc. sucks ass tho...
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YOU'RE FUCKING COPYING MINE FAGGET GET UR OWN BAND TO FLAME  . That Trooper cover wasn't done by COB sheesh. |
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2005-03-27, 05:21
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: In the ass of our lord.
Posts: 191
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I like cob. Its just that i like a straightforward and not junked up forum better.
If i could say something to all of the crappy post i would. but this was the first i saw and im lazy. so... yeah.
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2005-03-27, 12:36
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Senior Metalhead
Banned
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 115
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Six_Feet_Under_420
okay...this thread is completely useless so I'll add a band with it.
cradel of filth -_-
1) Purchase way too expensive gear and crank it up the have the shittiest sound in the world
2) Use a singer that sounds like someone who's sodomizing a goat
3) Cutt his legs off so he matches the length of the original singer
4) Play stolen "black metal" riffs
5) Enjoy |
I like Cradle of Filth's sound
I like Dani Filth's vocals
Who cares about height?
stolen black metal riffs? cradle of filth sound pretty original to me
judging by your username you dont know metal too much
oh, and, stop overexaggerating your hissy fits |
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2005-03-27, 12:45
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Post-whore
Banned
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 2,471
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by warlock_freak
I like Cradle of Filth's sound
I like Dani Filth's vocals
Who cares about height?
stolen black metal riffs? cradle of filth sound pretty original to me
judging by your username you dont know metal too much
oh, and, stop overexaggerating your hissy fits
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i also like cradle of filth. and i also like dani filth's vocals. it's hard to be original. get a sense of humour mate. this is purely a joke thread.
cryptopsy: <.< >.>
1. throw a bunch of random two string chords together, different for each guitar
2. get a snarling bass guitar and a drum sound so nobody knows what the hell your playing, it sounds like a massive blurry mess.
3. change your singer every 3 weeks
4. take a million years to write those random chords
5. listen
and i love crypters too. |
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2005-03-27, 14:29
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Down the street from nHoE
Posts: 1,716
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Silent Night 6 6
YOU'RE FUCKING COPYING MINE FAGGET GET UR OWN BAND TO FLAME . That Trooper cover wasn't done by COB sheesh. |
oops... srry... didnt see that 1...
PS ya the trooper was done by them... track 6 on follow the reaper... i downloaded it...
__________________
Quote:
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Originally Posted by IlikeRiffseveryone
im 50 percent irish and 100 percent pain. (SHAKE DOWN!!!!)
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NECROTIC
Canadian Brutal Death (So you know it's good)
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2005-03-27, 15:18
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Naples, FL
Posts: 1,916
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Track 6 on Follow the Reaper is "Taste my Scythe"
There is no Trooper cover on the album
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2005-03-27, 20:02
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,968
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Yeah this is the problem with dl songs. It's Sentenced not COB, SENTENCED.
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2005-03-28, 16:29
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Lo, they do call to me...
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: virginia beach, VA
Posts: 2,209
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nope, i most definitely have a CoB trooper cover, the vox give it away as CoB.
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Too grim to function
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2005-03-28, 16:43
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Maastricht, Netherlands
Posts: 1,506
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by warlock_freak
I like Cradle of Filth's sound
I like Dani Filth's vocals
Who cares about height?
stolen black metal riffs? cradle of filth sound pretty original to me
judging by your username you dont know metal too much
oh, and, stop overexaggerating your hissy fits
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What the fuck...So by looking at my name you know I don't know metal -_- Stupid dipshit...
Just because I like six feet under....Yeah man...YOU FUCKING RULE...You are like the metal god for not listning to six feet under. And no..I'm not saying everyone should like six feet under...that's called taste....
And if were going that direction...Judging by your name...you don't know guitars -_-
__________________
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.+-+ .....::::: Alive to Live, Not to Believe....In a God that I cannot see :::::..... +-+
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2005-03-28, 18:47
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El Diablo sin pantalones
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Yggdrassyl
Posts: 4,321
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Six_Feet_Under_420
And if were going that direction...Judging by your name...you don't know guitars -_-
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OWNED!!
__________________
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Darko
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Requiem
Why would you sig that?
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Why not? Why would you sig me saying that I hate you? I was serious there, too. |
I'm in despair! The internet has left me in despair! |
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2005-03-28, 23:28
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: In the ass of our lord.
Posts: 191
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Six_Feet_Under_420
What the fuck...So by looking at my name you know I don't know metal -_- Stupid dipshit...
Just because I like six feet under....Yeah man...YOU FUCKING RULE...You are like the metal god for not listning to six feet under. And no..I'm not saying everyone should like six feet under...that's called taste....
And if were going that direction...Judging by your name...you don't know guitars -_-
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dont worry i like SFU too. but barnes is a douche. warlocks do suck. and i forgot what the topic was even about |
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2005-03-28, 23:47
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Naples, FL
Posts: 1,916
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by brainsforbreakfast
OWNED!! |
x2!  |
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