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Old 2005-03-21, 05:16
Darkstar
New Blood
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1
Passive Addiction

Blackness Comes as darkness fades
Winter nights mark death of days
flesh blood stings wih deepened need
where deep against the dark i bleed

Lucid dream as blade cuts deep
empty horror devoid of sleep,
fearful dark of shallow dreams
as i come apart with severed seams

Last edited by Darkstar : 2005-03-21 at 05:18. Reason: difficult to read
 
Old 2005-03-21, 15:40
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
The first line is the only thing I'm skeptical about. Unless you mean the blackness is darker than the darkness. Otherwise I like the way it's worded and the story itself. Nice meter to it, too. Are you using it as a song?
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