Rather than be a cunt and hijack the Scott Hull appreciation thread by telling everyone how much the Hullhammer sucks ass, I decided to start my own thread. Pig Destroyer are the worst band ever, I'd rather listen to a 30 second clip of a Bjork song on a loop for 12 hours straight (no bathroom breaks either, chump) than 5 minutes of Pig Destroyer. I also dislike Agoraphobic Nosebleed, quite possibly the worst band name this side of Anal Cunt, another terrible band Hull was associated with.

I'm not familiar with his work outside of those bands, but the fact still remains- Scott Hull's music sucks an American bison's smelly bootyhole. Wesley Willis was a genius.

Do you also hate Scott Hull? Do you love Scott Hull? Get the fuck out my thread, there's already a thread for you, asshole. Oh, right, right... Do you also hate Scott Hull? Do you hate Pig Destroyer? Find Agoraphobic Nosebleed to be terribly overrated grindbore? Does Seth Putnam cry to himself every night because he can't stretch his dick far enough to fuck his own ass? Discuss, my friends, for this thread is your haven.

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I can't stand Pig Destroyer either but I'm not a big Grind fan. I can listen to it but I don't really enjoy them.

Chris, I always look forward to your posts, I always have. And you still never once let me down. Keep up the good work

Anal Cunt is genious. Pig Destroyer and A. Nosebleed blow. Scott Hull blows.

never even heard of the guy...

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i see a whole lot of future interior decorators in this thread

I'm already an interior decorator. For example, last night I decorated the interior of your mother's vagina with my seminal fluid. She said I did a beautiful job, and she was so much fun I even waived the fees. If you don't shut your mouth, your tonsils will be my next target, although, honestly, I think I'll have to charge you. I don't work cheap, bitch.

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First off I'd like to state that I'd rather listen to a 30 second clip of a Bjork song for 12 hours (or more) than most bands out there. Bjork rules.

I don't find it wierd that people dislike Pig Destroyer, or grind in general. It's unrelenting, often simple, and repetitive. That's why you've got to pick and choose carefully to make sure you don't fall into mediocrity. I enjoy the PD though, it's heavy, agressive, and has some awesome riffage. The lyrics are pretty out there too.

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That's probably the funniest paragraph that I have ever read.

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I don't mind Pig Destroyer. Maybe I should of posted in the Appreciation thread as I'm glad such a band/person exists which irritates Chris so much he makes a thread like this...I think I just shit my pants laughing...

hahahah that's fucking great

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I have no idea who your talking about but..

I AGREE!

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I've already gone on the record about Pig Destroyer, could give two shits (cumulative, not each) about both Anal Cunt and Agoraphobic Nosebleed, and just popped in here to say that this thread's hilarious. We need more pointedly depreciating threads.

Okay, carry on.

pid destroyer sucks, too harsh and annoying

awesome lyrics, though

yawn

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for the SIX DAYS you have been here?!

Haha!

fuck I wish I had some weed for that

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Nah, i've known Chris for like 4 years man

i read somewhere that dave whittie was gonna replace the drum programer on the agoraphopic nosebleed, not sure if its true but,yeah my complaint on the nosebleed is the programed drums and the lyrics, the one thing i do like is that they ripped on boston hardcore kids, but then again they did do a split with converge

as far as anal cunt is concerned, i know people here that beat the shit out of that band here in providence at a halloween show years ago, wasnt there, but the guitarist of my band was, the frontman<anal cunt> taunted the crowd in his usual fashion, instigated the whole thing,brought it all on himself

another friend of mine watched the anal cunt singer throw a glass pitcher into a girls face at a show in austin texas, the whole crowd stormed the stage and fucked the whole band up,smashed thier gear, anal cunt sucks.period

i never heard pig destroyer tho

He's known me longer than any of you. The only people here who I've known for as long are mostly people who are no longer very active here, like Bobby Rafuse and Inverted. I think Bobby comes by once in a while. I haven't heard from Inverted in a while.

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i apologize.

how contrived

Thoes people are fucking gay. That what is expected at an Anal Cunt show. Expect to get made fun of and have large, heavey objects thrown at you. They have been doing it for like over 20 years, you figure you dumbasses would catch on by now. Whats great is they don't give a fuck and would come back to the same place and do the same thing. Anal Cunt rule.

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It's only a matter of time before someone quotes something from this thread in their sig...(by the way, I'm not hinting that that person might be me, I'm just saying)...

not everyone is there to see them at a show, there are other bands on the lineup for their shows,you know, an anal cunt show doesnt happen in a mutually exclusive consentual hailstorm of beer bottles and beatdowns. so what if they've been doing it for 20 years, it sucks, you wouldnt feel that way if you knew said person who got the pitcher in thier face, my friend said that it was the most bloodshed hes seen in such a short amount of time in his life, it took 5 minutes for that show in texas to descend into an uncontrollable riot, many people hospitalized for nothing, is that what the music is about for the die hard fans? whats next? go to an anal cunt show and the whole building is c-4'd, just to maintain the image of the most reviled and violent band, has music really gotten to this point, where its no longer enough to have a few beers, watch some live music and hang out, you actually have to physically restrain the band from beating the shit out of, potentially maiming people in the audience, c'mon man, be real

Get over it.

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I agree, good job. (Although, your run-on sentences are annoying)

I briefly considered the possibility that this might be a joke, but failing to see any possibly humor, I'm left with nothing but questions. Contrived how? Are you aware what the word 'contrived' means? Gee, at least go back and forth with me for a little bit, I was just fucking around with you. Don't take it too personally, and certainly don't just roll over like a pussy and give up, muttering something as lame as "how contrived" enroute to your submission. At the very least, you could explain how any of that post was contrived.

Now, keep in mind, the word contrived can mean two things, or at least that's how I understand it. One use for the word contrived would be to allude to something premeditated or planned, to expose something as well thought out beforehand. I rarely use the word that way, but I have. What I usually mean when I use the word is to when somebody does something shallow or artificial, like say something they don't really mean just out of formality. For example, for two businessmen to shake hands would be contrived, because they aren't really friends, they are just being fake for the sake of formality. For two people who don't know each other to say, "hey, how's it goin'?" without any intention of really hearing how the other person is doing, just saying it to be polite, that's contrived.

So, now that we all know what 'contrived' means, please explain to me, how exactly was what I said contrived? I mean, I'd hate to put you on the spot, but really, what you said makes no sense and I'm pretty sure you have no way of backing up your statement.

Let's also keep in mind that my verbally bludgeoning you was intended to be lighthearted, despite the fact that you came in here just to air your disapproval and insult the people who don't share your mancrush on Scott Hull. Now, while there is certainly no rule against people going into threads just to voice their disapproval, let's keep in mind that I was polite enough to start my own anti-Scott Hull thread instead of simply hijacking yours. I would have hoped that I was treated in kind and you kept your Hull fanaticism to your own thread. Despite your disrespectfulness, I decided it might be nicer to just fuck around with you and go tit for tat a little bit, figuring maybe you'd have a little fight in you or a couple of insults up your sleeve. There was no malice involved whatsoever, and hopefully we can keep things that way.

This thread was created firstly for the purpose of humor and only secondarily for my hatred of Pig Destroyer and Anal Cunt and my indifference to Agoraphobic Nosebleed's mediocrity. So, let us ride the original, fun loving spirit of this thread instead of randomly interjecting lame insults and even feebler counter-responses.

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My fried was at an AxCx show and was singled out by seth, called numerous names, had a full water bottle thrown at him which hit him in the head, and later on Seth continued to make fun of him and was urging people to beat him up. It was funny, he laughed the whole time. I'll say it again, it is an Anal Cunt show, and if you are so terrified, show up late or stay away from the stage. There is seriously something wrong with you if you get so offended by what the singer from Anal Cunt, a band whos sole purpose is to offend everyone, says to you. Seriously, they were probably looking for that reaction, and you gave it to them.

Your little comment about blowing up the venue is rediculous.

I have a solution to you, don't go to an anal cunt show, and warn anyone who is going to see them about something that is a well known fact: they are assholes.

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So you contend that it's a travesty so many people are offended by a band whose sole purpose is too offend people? That seems a bit contradictory to me, personally. Seth Putnam is a disgrace to music everywhere and has no business on any type of stage, unless he's in a stockade, getting tomatoes thrown at him. I'd have to believe he voluntarily spends a lot of time in stockades anyway, getting gangbanged by gay biker gangs. There's a reason he started a band called Full Blown AIDS- he knows he'll have it soon.

Britney Spears is more metal than Seth Putnam. She's more true to the music than Putnam. She's a better musician than Putnam. She's more intelligent and funny than Putnam. She also has sex with men less frequently than he does. Now, if I don't want to hear her stupid shit, why the hell would I want to hear someone inferior to her in every fucking way?

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SETH PUTNAM AND ANAL CUNT RULE.

SETH PUTNAM DIES IN CAR ACCIDENT, GEORGE BUSH ACCIDENTLY SHOOTS HIMSELF IN THE FACE, AND CHRIS REZENDES WINS $1,000,000,000,000.

Damn, it turns out typing lies in all capital letters doesn't make them come true, after all. I thought maybe you figured something out there.

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Who cares this is all opinion anyway. Fuck, like who gives a fuck anyway.

i second that.

dead, i agree with most of your last post
a>i believe you when you said your friend got heckled by the band, took it all in stride as the guy throws shit at him, calls him names.

b> i have never been to an anal cunt show, nor want too, the instances i relate is from friends who have, and those instances are years old.

c> that c-4 comment was indeed ridiculous, i was actually refering to something on the order of a...........no-holds-barred,barbed wire, steel cage,c-4 exploding stage death match between the band and the audience, why the hell not, if you're cool with hurled objects and the potential of a mob riot why not a extreme japanese wrestling format to boot, im just pitching ideas on how the show can be more "funny", as you put it

d>i heard you this second time thats its an anal cunt show, i think thats why they call it a "show"...like the band "shows" the audience thier songs, the audience also paid money to hear, and most importantly "see" that "show", i'll say this again for you, they came and paid money<who woulda thought>to hear and see music, and,survey says!, the audience may indeed want to stand<drumroll please>........in front of the stage or at least near it,as deemed necessary space,sufficient space, allocated by the venue. maybe, just maybe these people werent so well researched as you or your friend were, maybe they came in for a closer view for this unknown out of town band, maybe they didnt know any better despite hearing a song or two, who woulda thought they'd get glass objects,amps,water bottles hurled at them at a high velocity. it took someone to get a glass pitcher in the face for me to decide to never see them

e> i agree they are assholes,not going to thier shows is about a lack of interest, not fear

a thing i like to add is i like the fact,especially at DIY style shows,as opposed to arenas and large clubs, you can talk to the members of the bands you've just witness, they are in the crowd for the other bands, they're not these prebricated creatures manifested from greedy record labels, not self-obsessed agro-psychotics or drug-addicts furfilling a reputed image,as in the case with most mainstream artists. its kinda in the spirit of self-booked small shows <that this band has been plaguing for 20 years>, the band is invited to hang out, ultimately. i like that type of arangement. the era of gg allen style shock rock is over man, people arent gonna put up with that shit.

HE'S GOTTA POOP BUT SOMEONE ELSE IS ALREADY POOPING!

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WOWZERZ!!@$% HE'S GONNA POOP OUTTA HIS DICK?!!?!?!?!?!?! He's holding his groin, dumbass. He has to piss- now quit smuggling sausages into my thread.

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But his butt is all big!

He has to go poop and pee at the same time!

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i didn't bother to read that. sorry!

...yet you quoted the entire thing. Beautiful. It doesn't really surprise me that you didn't read my post, you probably don't reach much of anything. You certainly haven't read whatever page of the dictionary defines the word 'contrived'. Like I said before, you lazy bastard, how was anything I said contrived?

Was that short enough for your attention span, or should I shorten it to one sentence? Maybe you should wait until you pick up your ritalin subscription before you bother me again. Let me type in words you can understand- [FORUM WHORE] dood get your add checked out that shit can mess you up!!1one [/FORUM WHORE]



Haha, you goofball. That's because he's like bouncing up and down. Not jumping or hopping, just kind of bouncing on his heels while keeping his forefoot firmly planted on the floor. People do that sometimes when they have to piss like a racehorse but have to wait, now quit ruining my thread.

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Fair enough, go ahead and have your fun.

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Don't hate Pig Destroyer because my brilliance rules all over Metaltabs.com. Hate them because they managed to ruin a Dark Angel song. How can you manage to ruin a Dark Angel song? Experience the aural travesty that is Pig Destroyer's cover of 'Burning of Sodom' and find out.

DISCLAIMER- Do not listen to Pig Destroyer's cover of 'The Burning of Sodom', or any other Pig Destroyer songs for any reasons, unless you have severe masochistic tendencies or are medically confirmed to be mentally disabled or deaf. The owner of Metaltabs.com, the members of Metaltabs.com and it's forum, including ChrisRezendes and all moderators, and any related parties can not be held legally or morally responsible for any and all physical and mental health risks associated with listening to any Scott Hull related bands (including, but not limited to, Pig Destroyer, Agoraphobic Nosebleed, and Anal Cunt), including, but not limited to, bleeding of the ears, subconsciously induced loss of hearing, nervous breakdown, dementia, or suicide. There are no safe Scott Hull bands. For more information on how to avoid listening to Scott Hull bands, please visit the website http://maddox.xmission.com/images/pirate.html .

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Holy shit dude, i was laughing pretty good but when i clicked that link, i fuckin lost it.

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I've avoided that cover for just that reason.

I see I wrote 'fan' instead of 'band.' I wonder why so much academic writing has made my internet writing sloppier rather than tighter. I guess I'll have to drop out of college.

Dude, I could totally edit that, totally. Then you could be all like *switch* in your own post, and delete the one I'm quoting, and then I'll delete this one, and no one will be the wiser, word up. Okay, it's bedtime.

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This would all be so much easier if I still had my magical mod powers.

What was that? Could ya speak up? I didn't quite catch that.

Or, in other words, you are too much of a pussy to deal with what other people say on an online forum, and thusly, have resorted to hiding from those people. Then, as if you weren't cowardly enough, you feel the need to flaunt this cowardice, hoping, as it were, that you might offend me, knowing full well that you can say whatever you want without having to deal with any response.

Basically, you want the privilege of throwing empty insults at people without worrying about having to deal with their retaliations. I smell pussy, and it's not just coming from your mother's mouth. It's all over you, for you are a typical teenage coward.

By the way, I thought you might be interested in knowing that all I need to do is ask somebody to quote this and you have to see it anyway. That's some ignore list, eh!

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there you are.

now some words of my own skuspar. the last thing the world needs is people like you, coming up with indescribably poor insults such as [Voice=sneery] "how contrived" ![/VOICE] and then hiding behind sad little ignore lists, which i can guarantee i'm going to be put on because i offend you. you're a stupid whining little bitch, as bad as the rest of the fleet of newbs that have sailed here on the convict ship to be flamed worse than the late-18th-century Aborigines.

so i would advise you to pull your overly-large piece of garden hose out of your even larger rectum, lie low for a while and then return when you have some dignity and decent opinions. you may think you can hide behind the block list, but when everybody in a website has turned against you as they no-doubtedly will here, you can't block everybody and merely post on your own.

pansy.

A little off topic,http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse...e_shitty_movies. I love the Tom Clancy part.

Here's my plot:
Drug lords devise a scheme to smuggle an impressive amount of cocaine for ransom under the watchful eye of corrupt German officials (played by Americans with fake German accents). The plot twists when the Drug lords hijack a shipment of nuclear warheads even after their demands are met, unless an ex-con with a big heart can learn to trust humanity again and stop the Drug lords once and for all. The movie ends with a mildly comical and/or ironic scene in which the Drug lords blow up or go to prison. Another satisfying tale of political intrigue and personal redemption closes, and we all walk away from this movie a little wiser.

I see a hit in my future.

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Actually, it's disgustingly off topic. I'll let it slide because it's my all time favorite Maddox page. I laughed so hard when looking at the picture of Simon Yuen as "The Last Marine". I didn't know who Simon Yuen was until I saw the picture, at which point I immediately recognized him, he was in a bunch of movies with Jackie Chan in the early stages of Jackie's career, but not so early so that his distinct brand of kung fu humour is unrecognizable. He always plays the teacher/elder/father figure guy. I'm sure he would have been in even more of Jackie's movies had he not died so early into Jackie's career.

I highly recommend the movie "Snake in the Eagle's Shadow". It's the funniest Jackie Chan movie I've ever seen... Resident Cat-Avatar-Guy guitar_demon would certainly appreciate why.

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I'm not going to bother responding to your moronic posts other than to say

i find it amusing that you all get your panties in a bunch over an internet forum...

I'm here and i'm not going anywhere, deal with it

edit: i just read a snippet of what sir fucktard said via your post. How amusing. I think he may find it interesting to know that i'm older than most people on this board (including his dumb ass) and i've also played in several extreme metal bands that have released albums. If he wants to continue writing inane, long winded posts that go nowhere then more power to him. If i wanna be annoyed i'll just visit www.mtv.com thank you very much

no one gives a fuck how many bands you've played in, i dont give a shit if you were in a fucking boy band, or goddamn cannibal corpse, we wouldnt give a fuck either way. you sir, in the words of FBS, are a cunt.

(well, not his exact words, but i am sure that "cunt" would be one of them)

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I suppose we were supposed to be impressed by the fact that he claims to have played in underground bands that apparently weren't interesting enough for him to name specifically. Bullshit. Ooooh! Sorry, sir! What's that? You played in an undergound band? Nobody fucking cares. The bands you played in couldn't have been that good, considering your influences include such innovative bands as Pig Destroyer.

Even if any of the bands he was in were any good, it wouldn't change the fact that he's an immature, largely illiterate douchebag. If I met Terrence Hobbs and he were a douchebag, I wouldn't kiss his ass just because he's an awesome musician. Sorry if your imagined superiority suddenly dissolved at the sight of people who won't kiss your ass because of your dillusional fame, but that's the way things are, get used to it, bitch.

As for his comments about being older than everyone here, who really gives a fuck? His mental age is about 12, as evidenced by all of his mighty comebacks so far, which is obviously the real issue. I'd also question the cogency of an immature grown man who doesn't know how to spell, punctuate, or capitalize- much less the meaning of the word 'contrived'- calling a 20 year old with an IQ higher than 140 a 'dumbass'. Try again, princess, maybe you'll get it right sooner or later. You won't know until you try!

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Oh skuspar, since Chris is on your ignore list here is what he just posted:

"I suppose we were supposed to be impressed by the fact that he claims to have played in underground bands that apparently weren't interesting enough for him to name specifically. Bullshit. Ooooh! Sorry, sir! What's that? You played in an undergound band? Nobody fucking cares. The bands you played in couldn't have been that good, considering your influences include such innovative bands as Pig Destroyer.

Even if any of the bands he was in were any good, it wouldn't change the fact that he's an immature, largely illiterate douchebag. If I met Terrence Hobbs and he were a douchebag, I wouldn't kiss his ass just because he's an awesome musician. Sorry if your imagined superiority suddenly dissolved at the sight of people who won't kiss your ass because of your dillusional fame, but that's the way things are, get used to it, bitch.

As for his comments about being older than everyone here, who really gives a fuck? His mental age is about 12, as evidenced by all of his mighty comebacks so far, which is obviously the real issue. I'd also question the cogency of an immature grown man who doesn't know how to spell, punctuate, or capitalize- much less the meaning of the word 'contrived'- calling a 20 year old with an IQ higher than 140 a 'dumbass'. Try again, princess, maybe you'll get it right sooner or later. You won't know until you try!"

You can't hind no matter what. Why the fuck must you use the ignore list? Are you that fragile?

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no i just find that he takes it so personally amusing. i am done with this thread. it's not interesting

It's so sad that metal heads (apparently) have no sense of humor.

Go ahead and add your thirty line retort that goes nowhere son... the floor is yours

And for the record, who's the idiot who made this thread and then made a lame "your mom" comeback? Bah, don't bother answering me, i won't see it! :-*

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Interesting enough that he would accuse others of having no sense of humor, considering this thread's original purpose was for the sake of humor. Then again, so was my original response to his humorless response to this thread. He then responds with "how contrived", again, not only showing what a tightass he is, but also showing he enjoys using words he doesn't know the meaning of.

So, let's look at the line of events, shall we?

1. I start a thread, the main purpose of which was humor.
2. Rapsuks reponds by lamely attempting to insult everybody who replied to thread.
3. I respond to that by still trying to keep things lighthearted and humorous in this thread, despite his obvious attempt to disrespect me and everybody else in the thread.
4. He responds by using a word he doesn't know the meaning of, and just to boot, uses a rolleyes smiley like a 13 year old attention starved girl who spends way too much time giving out her personal information on blogs and using instant messengers.
5. I then respond by joking around some more, then explaining to him I've been just joking around the whole time and not to take things to personally or so seriously, also defying him to explain what he meant by calling my post "contrived".
6. He responds by kindly informing me that his attention span doesn't permit him to read posts longer than 12 characters in length.
7. I continue to jest and allude to adult ADD.
8. He puts me on his ignore list because he's too much of a pussy to handle what other people have to say on something as silly as an internet forum, then tries to get the last word in by flaunting his own cowardice.

So, who around here is the one really lacking a sense of humor? I'll let my fellow forumers be the judge. I needn't continue this blatantly one-sided argument, because there really isn't any sense in trying to figure this guy out.

The facts are what they are, and I strongly encourage any of my fellow forumers to PM Rapsuks and myself letting us know which one had been the true tightass in this situation.

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before i say i've heard nothing by scott hull, and the only reason i posted was as a message carrier, i find it funny that this thread has a 5-star rating and the appreciation thread has a 1 star rating

I just had to dig this up. After listening to three of the aforementioned bands -Pig Destroyer, Anal Cunt, and Agorafagic Nosefuck- I totally concur with you, Chris ole' pal. Scott Hull, and especially Putnam, deserve a fucking in the ass so brutal that the friction will cause them to combust. Fucking shitbag cunts.

Thank you for bumping the greatest thread in internet history. Well, next best after this one.

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Finally, my curiosity about where this quote came from has been answered.

Chris, thanks for the link to that Anal in Film forum by the way.