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Old 2004-12-07, 09:50
black_orchid
New Blood
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 1
original - slaves of sombre

Hello guyz i've come up with some stuff for my black/thrash metal band, this is called slaves of sombre.

Lifeless legion
speechless signs
banshee's haunting
death creeps in while

socerer's spells witches cry
take me to the place where my soul lies
venom vile death drives

slaves of sombre
slaves of sombre

cobwebs in my eyes
hershee hers the child
down the sky devils arrive
time binds sweeping desire
funeral candles lighting the sky
serve the satan with blood n eyes

Last edited by black_orchid : 2004-12-07 at 09:53.
 
Old 2004-12-07, 10:34
BrokenCrimson's Avatar
BrokenCrimson
Post-whore
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Brisbane, Australia.
Posts: 1,023
Cool, although it doesn't seem to flow as well as it it could, it's typical BM with a lot of good imagery, a few typos too.

"venom vile death drives"

WTF?

"death creeps in while

socerer's spells witches cry"

Why'd you separate that? Baf typo too, dangerous in the fact that it's not spelt phonetically but it would be badly pronounced if read like this. Overall, very cool with amazing potential, keep up the good work
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