Do not fuck with what you don't understand!
You think this is about death and hate - It's about reality!
The lines are crosshatched. You are nothing.
Non existence. Death is the ultimate reality.
I cast out the dreamers and believers!
Pointless straight line. Blurred target.
The essence of human life is living.
Emotions cast aside. Respond to pain and plesure.
"Eat the path" - End the path.
We are here to control your minds!
Our existence invokes anger and sadness!
We bear the marks of the one who knows!
Melancholy, Anger, Jealousy!
Figments of imagination.
The walls are closing in and you know it.
We who finger the ultimates!
Rampant minds see the truth.
We know what D ignores!
Do not fuck with what you don't understand.

First off, I'd ditch those first couple lines completely. It began like a rant and not a good rant at that. Then I'd move the next couple into the piece a little further. The rest I'd not change at all. It had good flow all around.


I cast out the dreamers and believers!
Pointless straight line. Blurred target.
The lines are crosshatched. You are nothing.
Non existence. Death is the ultimate reality.
The essence of human life is living. (I'm not sure I'd leave this line in due to the prior one. It might be too contradictory or maybe it's just the way I'm thinking of it.)
Emotions cast aside. Respond to pain and plesure.
"Eat the path" - End the path.
etc...


Not bad for what it is.

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Its all metaphor. Try to think. Thanks though, its just not a pointless ramble.

I think you misunderstood. I only meant the way it began. I thought the rest was good.

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Wow that was actually pretty good, i wish we did that sort of stuff at school, but our teachers see the word 'fuck' and branish it with a stick. He you're actually pretty talented as a poet no matter what other people say, keep at it aye.

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