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Old 2004-11-15, 08:45
Mania
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Forgotten Tomb inspired.

I'm like the pouring rain
on a summers day
so full of hate and despair
No light can pierce through this darknesss

My life is doomed to the ever flowing tide of death
The light I despise flickers through my eyes
Brushing away humanity like a vicious desease
I welcome the pain for a release of this eternal agony


It's a black metal song I wrote. It has got more to it but I thought I'd just see what peoples reactions were before I wrote the rest here.
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Old 2004-11-15, 11:23
Disincarnate's Avatar
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nice
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Old 2004-11-15, 12:57
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L,B'XXX
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Not bad at all. I guess I'm being picky sort of though about the contradiction of the absense of light in the first part vs. the flicker in the next. But that's not much of a bitch.
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Old 2004-11-15, 21:35
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It's very good, but it feels a little tid bit short, considering that most BM songs are longer than that, you might have to stretch this one out a bit.

Also, I don't want to sound too bitchy or trad, so forgive me if this annoys you, but in spirit this reminds me more of a doom metal song. Yes, there is mention of disgust at either humanity or light, and you did create a very bleak atmosphere very well, but most BM songs tend to be a bit more victorious and defiant, eventhough things are bleak, we will win against these impure, disgusting weaklings! Just saying, I'm not saying that your lyrics are bad or that you have to change them or anything.
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Last edited by BrokenCrimson : 2004-11-15 at 21:36. Reason: Fucky HTML
 
Old 2004-11-16, 04:34
Mania
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: In my mind most of the time
Posts: 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrokenCrimson
It's very good, but it feels a little tid bit short, considering that most BM songs are longer than that, you might have to stretch this one out a bit.

Also, I don't want to sound too bitchy or trad, so forgive me if this annoys you, but in spirit this reminds me more of a doom metal song. Yes, there is mention of disgust at either humanity or light, and you did create a very bleak atmosphere very well, but most BM songs tend to be a bit more victorious and defiant, eventhough things are bleak, we will win against these impure, disgusting weaklings! Just saying, I'm not saying that your lyrics are bad or that you have to change them or anything.



It is longer in full and yeah I guess it is more doom than black. But when you hear the music behind it is more black, I think there are some bm bands that use doom lyrics. It doesn't annoy me, I asked for peoples comments and so far they haven't been bad. I guess I'm just a depressed person .
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Annoying humanity sickens me..........I contemplate your extinction

Nothing is too sick R.I.P Euronymous

WILL THE WORLD JUST SHUT UP ABOUT VARG VIKERNES!!

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