2004-11-09, 20:17
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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"Altar of Shadows"
Inspired by items on my pc desk. Thanks for reading.
"Altar of Shadows"
Near the highest peak yet far away from the sun
Are the steps of the king's lair to which we must run
Where no grass grows plentiful nor tree grows tall
Toward the Altar of Shadows we crawl
An elder spoke to us in parables so wise
But the words he was speaking were strangely in disguise
We'd not know their meaning until it was time for us to know
But then we would have wisdom where to go
A cavern that we had to pass was home to a beast
Shining silver, plated body wielding mindthoughts to each
That plotted his ruin guided by the seer's mystic curse
He tried to bury our thoughts in distortion perverse
The sky flashed from red to green to gray as we climbed higher
Exchanging words with the king our utmost desire
The beast reached it's talons and tried to scalp us from the ground
A well placed sword between its' armor, it sank down
Rays streaked through the darkness leading to the top
Guiding us through with recharged hearts not willing to stop
A sphere of purity the portal to what was within
The king brought us together to begin
The Altar of Shadows is where the slate mists roll
The king desires freedom, desiring to see the glow
Of sunstreaked daylight--something hidded so many years
The Altar of Shadows holds his tears
The Altar of Shadows holds his tears
And together we will find a way to take away his fear
Near the highest peak yet far away from the sun
Are the steps of the king's lair to which we have run
Where no grass grows plentiful nor tree grows tall
To the Altar of Shadows we no longer crawl
As the Altar of Shadows starts to fall
BJH
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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2004-11-09, 20:27
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Braidwood, IL in the U.S.A.
Posts: 200
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Wow, these suck.
Just Kidding! This is badass. You have my compliments.
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2004-11-09, 22:57
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
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Nah, if you think it sucks. Let me know. I'm a big girl. I can take it. If it does I want to know why though so I can improve. You know?
Thanks. I wonder if anyone will catch my references.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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2004-11-10, 15:14
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I am a tax on the world..
Forum Leader
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Location: pizza with a shit on it!
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OOooo, that's pretty cool, LBXXX. So eh, each paragraph is referring to a specific item? ...I'm guessing the first paragraph is just an intro(cool BTW), the second perhaps to your thesaurus, and that's all I can think right now. Well, the only thing I ask is about the line, "He tried to bury our thoughts in distortion perverse." The last 2 words are a little shaky I think, so maybe you could change it to "distorted perverse" or even distortion's perverse" like it's possessive. anyhoo, I like this because it has some wicked things in it.
__________________
Man, I get real sweaty after I wack my dong. Yeah, cause I headbang while I do, and I can't really "Jump" (haha ) like VanHalen in a dorm room, so I just walk back and forth....haha a couple days ago I was jumping up and down on my bed, with my pants down and my roommate came in when I wasn't looking, hahaha.
This is my band's page
http://www.myspace.com/ferocitydentontx
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2004-11-10, 15:26
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
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Yer not even close, powers', but I do have a thesaurus sitting here. I fought with those words and I still don't like them but -erse is hard to rhyme. Would a comma help between there? I'm not happy with distorted perverse because it doesn't sound right either.
Glad you liked it though. "Altar of Shadows" is a big hint to what the items were though. And there's one other blatant hint in there. The other two are just eluded to. But the color changes in one line refer to the title, too. Have I totally confused you? It was pretty neat doing this one.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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2004-11-10, 15:41
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But why is the rum gone ?
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Keeping the Groove going and staying out of Treble
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killer shit......wish i could write like that
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Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely
Quote:
Guitarists are just people who could Never make it as a Bassist
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Join The Forum CUNT
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2004-11-10, 17:43
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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If you wanna borrow it and do some music, I'd just like to hear it. I did a lyrical collaboration this morning with a guy I've known for about 3 years now. He's got a mellower band, but they are really good. A few others have used my lyrics, too.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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2004-11-10, 23:11
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The Stings of Conscience
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Lutz, FL
Posts: 2,245
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so, be honest, how would you feel about your lyrics being shamelessly ripped off and used to help further the success of a certain persons band? honesty is the best policy
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2004-11-11, 01:19
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: canada eh
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cooll shit lbXXX.
I tried to get an online thesaures but it cost's money. So i just use the words in my head (that's why my poems tend to be repetative)
__________________
Imagine there's no countries,
It isnt hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...
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2004-11-11, 02:20
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Braidwood, IL in the U.S.A.
Posts: 200
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Alright, if you're a big girl, I'll tell you my opinion...
Like I said before, it's badass, but I would make one change were they my lyrics. The last verse shows that the evil that clung to the 'Altar of Shadows' had been vanquished. Personally, I think a better ending would have involved the evil remaining and living on. However, that is just my opinion.
Praise the Ancient Ones...
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2004-11-11, 12:38
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I am a tax on the world..
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
Yer not even close, powers', but I do have a thesaurus sitting here. ...
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haha. Then I'm totally oblivious.
__________________
Man, I get real sweaty after I wack my dong. Yeah, cause I headbang while I do, and I can't really "Jump" (haha ) like VanHalen in a dorm room, so I just walk back and forth....haha a couple days ago I was jumping up and down on my bed, with my pants down and my roommate came in when I wasn't looking, hahaha.
This is my band's page
http://www.myspace.com/ferocitydentontx
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2004-11-11, 20:39
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
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heehee what the fukc else is new powers" !!!! haha And yeah, I know I spelled that wrong. I'm having a moral moment or something. I just dropped about 25 blank cd's and said an explicatory word I'd never used before. "Fudge packers!" haha I just recorded a song , just me singing, and I heard my bird say "hello Birdie" in the background. Oh well.
Okay. I like a happy ending. Shoot me. (not really) Okay, I'll give you a big hint.
Altar of Shadows
Leonin Elder
Soul Nova
Sphere of Purity
Do those mean anything to anyone? They're Magic cards actually. There's a stack of them under the monitor and I was bored and looking for inspiration. The top one was the Altar card and I thought it sounded cool so I started with that. The color change reference is because when I moved in the seat the colors changed on it since it's a foil card. Cool as heck,too. Then I found the L.E. and read the quote--" " The wisdom of the elders is just as much a weapon as a sword or a spear. We must learn to weild it. Ushanti, leonid seer " I thought that's pretty much the way songwriter's words can be so the elder crept in. The Soul Nova is a silver grey looking creature getting blasted by lime and white light til it melts into molten iron. So that's where the beast came from. And the sphere I thought sounded pretty and pearly and cool so I threw that in. I'm telling you all the details because a lot of times people don't realize how many inspirations aren't too far away. I've got others wanting to use these ,too. I think that's cool as heck. I don't mind as long as you ask me and if you make a shit ton of money with it ,don't forget me. I'm unemployed right now and could use a buck or 2. heehee
I'd LOVE to hear it hooked up.
BTW, Wally and his brother played Magic for years. I tried and sucked at it so I just looked at their cards. And they never went out and raped old ladies or burned crosses in anyones yard. Anyone who thinks they're satanic needs they're head examined and better NEVER like the LOTR movies. It 's about the same sci-fi stuff to me. End of mom speech. Thanks for all your comments.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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2004-11-12, 00:59
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: canada eh
Posts: 1,257
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I used to play magic a long time ago. Then it got popular.
__________________
Imagine there's no countries,
It isnt hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...
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2004-11-12, 21:23
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I am a tax on the world..
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: pizza with a shit on it!
Posts: 7,994
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ha, no wonder I didn't know what this was referring to. No way in hell you'd catch me playing that nerdy game.
__________________
Man, I get real sweaty after I wack my dong. Yeah, cause I headbang while I do, and I can't really "Jump" (haha ) like VanHalen in a dorm room, so I just walk back and forth....haha a couple days ago I was jumping up and down on my bed, with my pants down and my roommate came in when I wasn't looking, hahaha.
This is my band's page
http://www.myspace.com/ferocitydentontx
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2004-11-13, 01:10
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: canada eh
Posts: 1,257
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lol. see i used to play it before nerds had a clue what it was.
We'd get drunk and stoned and play it.
Now it's like fucking pokemon or some shit like that.
__________________
Imagine there's no countries,
It isnt hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...
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2004-11-13, 01:46
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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The kids around here went through all those phases. It has to be at least over 10 years ago that they began playing it. Some of the cards have beautiful artwork on them. But like I said I was crappy playing it.
I got an unusual compliment today from someone. She said basically that I could write a piece about an onion in my cupboard and have it come out wonderfully. haha I told her she shouldn't say things like. The mental gears are clunking now. I gotta do one about a drunken yeti in a sub though, too.
hehheh I'm gonna tell Wally you called him a nerd. haha I bet nobody has ever called him that.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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2004-11-13, 02:40
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: canada eh
Posts: 1,257
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lol.
tell him i'm glad he introduced me to stevie ray vaughn.
(he wont' remember ol' trendkill though)
__________________
Imagine there's no countries,
It isnt hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...
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2004-11-13, 23:21
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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I will do that. He remembers a few people on here.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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2004-11-13, 23:59
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Supreme Metalhead
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: West Virginia
Posts: 744
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I never would have geussed the reference....
I still have about 2000 MTG cards that I will never use, and I haven't been able to find a good place to sell them.
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2004-11-14, 14:04
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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Well, it will probably be one of those things that when you're 40 some old player, nostalgia buff will pay a decent price for if they're in good shape.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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