|
2004-10-28, 21:15
|
|
New Blood
|
|
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 19
|
|
|
Crimson Battles
As long as I'm here, I thought "why not share?", soo here goes:
(P.s any constructive critisizm is most welcomed
ah and - this paticular song is lacking a title. "Crimson battles" is just a temporary one. so you can suggest a better title if you feel like)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Words spoken by others
Like mirrors - reflect the beast in me
Evoke from the silhouettes
Painting shadows on the walls
Faces.. not easily forgotten await me in the darkness
I would give anything
To see them again
For every tear that falls
Someone pays a bigger price
Life of torment
My journey is a tournament
Running against the claws of time
Battles yet to come and still I am no warrior
My allegiance is one, still I stay true
Many of those whom I have known
Lost somewhere along the way
Those who lost faith,and those who lost lives
Always waiting for me on the other side
Still I stand on the ground with the fear
Unknown the path that lies ahead
Still I walk throught to see what it hides
If my road shall bring me to doom - forget my name
Maybe I will never return..- forgive all I have done wrong
And if I come back in the end of times
From all the crimson battles - greet me!
For I've fought.. lived so long
Just to see your faces again
|
|
2004-10-28, 21:40
|
 |
Post-whore
|
|
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Brisbane, Australia.
Posts: 1,023
|
|
|
It's jumpy in places, like "not easily forgotten", otherwise the substance is good, the "medievalish" language doesn't work too good. What genre are you writting for?
__________________
I <3 12 year olds.
|
|
2004-10-28, 21:44
|
|
New Blood
|
|
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 19
|
|
|
No genre ,Sir.
I write for myself basicly,not bands. Although someone once told me it could be a good Death/Doom song
As far as the medievalish language goes - it's just my style, and the influence of what I read (Lord Byron, Yeats, W. Blake ...)
__________________
"Imperious, choleric, irascible, extreme in everything, with a dissolute imagination the like of which has never been seen, atheistic to the point of fanaticism, there you have me in a nutshell, and kill me again or take me as I am, for I shall not change." Marquis De Sade
|
|
2004-10-28, 22:41
|
|
Post-whore
|
|
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Brisbane, Australia.
Posts: 1,023
|
|
|
Hmm, there are two genres with typical lyrics like this, power and black metal. For yourself? Cool cool. Don't let that go to waste, you're damn good.
__________________
I <3 12 year olds.
|
|
2004-10-29, 13:43
|
|
Post-whore
Banned
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 2,471
|
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by MarquisaWolf
No genre ,Sir.
|
brokens a chick  |
|
2004-10-29, 15:57
|
|
New Blood
|
|
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 19
|
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by BrokenCrimson
Don't let that go to waste, you're damn good.
|
Well, I was approached by a publishing that wanted to use one of my poems but there was money issue involved so I didn't go through with it.
Other than that I have nothing to do with the stuff I write, they're basicly sitting in a notebook collecting dust.
__________________
"Imperious, choleric, irascible, extreme in everything, with a dissolute imagination the like of which has never been seen, atheistic to the point of fanaticism, there you have me in a nutshell, and kill me again or take me as I am, for I shall not change." Marquis De Sade
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
|
