Working title... its just something I wrote in math class. Something I doubt anyone here would expect from me.

Alone
Solitude driving me insane
Condemned
To die alone
Living with this fear
Walls closing in
I scream out for help
No reply.
Am I
Going To Die?

Insanity Sets in
Will to die engulfs me
I fear nothing
But myself

My only enemy
That remains is me
Fighting the willl to kill
Cannot bear it any longer



yeah, it sucks. Not sure if I should use it. Insults welcome, but i'd appreciate seriousness in your insults, not sarcasm.

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It feels like an adumbration of something you'll have to flesh out further before I can give any real criticism. Right now it feels like a stream-of-consciousness, strung together by a series of ellipses, which may be 'realistic' but isn't very effective, lyrically. All I can really do at this point is suggest that you go back to it and see if you can expand it more, preferably when it has more of your focus than during math class.

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Accept it and become an insane soul inside.

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It was a review of the homework that I aced, man. And I have block scheduling. Trust me, I had enough time.

It wasn't quite finished, but I figured I'll post it before I continue.

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Well, then post the rest soon. I remember those days of writing poetry and lyrics in math class and english class and study hall and biology and physics and geometry and once in awhile pooetry class!
Did ya know that Kryptonite was wrtten by the lead singer of 3 Doors Down in his algebra class ?

Anyways, it was definitely a wandering through the cerebral area which was kinda cool to read , but why at the end of what you have here , did you mention the will to kill? The rest seemed self reflection , but that seemed to lash out.

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I wouldn't say it's a cry out.
I used to write hardcore satanist shit, and i believed in and loved god.
I'd write poems about death, hate, etc. When I was actually happy.
Look at that excuse for a story I wrote. The only thing that reflects me in it is the alcoholic likeness. The rest is complete fiction.
Most poetry is complete fiction.
Or if you wanna delve deeper. Don't we all have an urge to destroy? We subconciously find death appealing because it's unknown.
The human is an amazing thing, but phsycologists think they've got it figured out. I think they can figure out how the mind works to a degree. But not why our mind works. I think that's our soul.
Sounds like shrooms talkin'.

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At the end of what I had written, he had become schizofrenic and thought his alter ego to be an enemy.

And trendkill, this song has no true-to-life meaning. I just needed something to write for the death metal band I just formed with my drummer, ex guitarist, and guy I know. Lyrics like this don't come from experience, or personal feelings (in my case), but more of a way to delve into the psyche of another. I dunno what I was thinking while writing this. Just trying to pass the time I guess.

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Throughout the entire thing I got a little of that vibe. That, and the fact that some of the phrases used are near-identical, immediately reminded me of 'Sweating Bullets,' which is not so bad a thing to be reminded of.

And if you can focus better in math class than elsewhere, then go for it there.

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that's what i'm saying in response to lbXXX's post.

just shit of the mind.

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