The kind is gone,
has burned away,
left us charred in sarcasm


The new god

i work for your face.
to hold you and touch you
caress you
I despise you,

I'd kill for you.
If they threatened to disrupt me.
You stop the rain,
you help the aches,
I'd think you love me.

You buy my dope,
You rape my country
We'll kill for you.

Buildings have been built in your name,
A society that worships you,
It's a sin to deface you,
Who would?

From your hand I eat.
Water to the wine.
fell into your darkness,
but yet i've tried to climb.

You have no race, no religion. You work in all ways.
Taking the faces of the peopl,e we've trusted.

You've won
And when we lie in our beds with cancerous sores, you've won.
when we covet
and when we lust
and when we kill
you've won
..us





guess who the fuck this drunken ass is blabbing about.

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and here's my druken rendition.

got an eggroll in my hand
it's too hot
it burns

yet it greases my keyboard
almost like when i jack off on the net
lol
nevermind


'

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(bangs head on keyboard)

The perfect reason to drink responsibly.

The first one was a bit obtuse, but that next part made me laugh out loud AND IT'S 5 O'CLOCK IN THE FRIGGIN' MORNING !!!!

Okay, I'm getting different ideas for the first one. I can hear it spoken with back ground music more than sung, but extremely heavy metal-toned. Maybe even a deep distorted voice. Flow of thoughts and wording was good. But what the hell are you blabbing about? (Hey , you said it that way.)

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wrote it while i was drunk (i know, i know )

It's about money, which is the new god.

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No, IT'S 6 O'CLOCK ON A CHRISTMAS MORNING (sorry, just had to)

Some parts of the original post makes me think about alcohol (and to some extent drugs).

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I guess you could use it for many things.

Money
Beer
Drugs
Sex
Music
Etc.

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To be honest, I read it and thought it sucked. But now that you say the whole concept of it is money and drugs and stuff, I see the whole point behind it all. Cool lyrics.

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Man, everything I write sucks. That's why it's great. 'Cause I know it sucks.
I get off lyrically on writing sensless shit.

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Thats the was how it should be! At the moment I'm totally wasted... So I guess I find everything good!

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oh yeah?
we'll here's a story i wrote while drunk.

and i'm drunk now so pardon the typingl,



"The first thing i remember was teh inside of my eyelids. Not black like usual, but a bright pink. The harsh calling of the monring sun. The heat struck me secondly. I lay there for awhile. Slowly drifting ack to consciousness. My thoughts are muddled. A lingering gift from my companion of the previous evening. As I try to connect the vague memories of the night past, Another part of my abused mind informs me that by the monotonous hissing sound my ears register, I'm probably on the beach. My eyes, held gently together by that substance known simply as sleep, still balk at the idea of exposing themselves to the harsh light that awaits. The sand that grates between my teeth, seconds my ear's opinion. I register a child's laugh. It's faint. Probably down the beach. Comfortably away from the strange being that lies on the shore. I've had about enough of my senses analyzing my surroundings. So I open my eyes. The sun stings my blues as I behold an empty bottle. I view the world sideways for a second. Reality on a tilt, before I straighten up. It was then that my spiteful brain revolted. REvenge it was seeking. Pain lashed through my swollen head (get your mind outta the gutter). I fall back to my former prone position.

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I could lie here all day. There's no reason for my awakening. I have no quest, no goal. My next story lies in the bottom of that elusive bottle. Sometimes I find it after 1 or 2. Rarely. Most times I search until my inner sanity gives up and passes me out. At least I don't smell vomit. I'm having a good day by average, so far. And the morning view of the ocean is more soothing that the dull gleam of those metal bars. An all too familiar morning "suprise".
....
I walk, into the welcoming arms of the water. I find I'm smiling. A rare facial appearance on my scarred cynical mug. I lie afloat atop the waves. Dead man's float. I could do that one the best. As a child, when my brother would take me to the beach, i'd float for hours, days if i could, while he flirted with girlds and drank beer. I'd float. He was content, he didn't like me there, but dad made him take me. While he worked. It was cheaper than a "goddamn babysitter". So i'd float, and stare into the blue sky. Occasionally clouds would creep into my vision but I didn't study them like your average dreamy kid. I just wanted to stare at the blue. The sounds of life, silenced by the vast ocean in my ears.

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Back to the present. I lie peacefully. An older child. 35 or 36, something around there. Brother long gone. But I'm amazed at how I fall so easily back nto my float.
The child's laughter has turned to cries. I hope he isn't hurt. But It doesn't matter. the blue is so beautiful, so enticing. It darkens from the light blue of the sky to the dark of the atlantic. The dreadful clouds white as they are, ripple. So peaceful, relaxing. I've found a color more serene than my beloved blue. More quite than the ocean. This new joy spreads upon my mind. My new friend. The color black. I smile once more.
What a wonderful world.




drunkenly yours. ?trendki?ll?4?20?

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While I do normally despise drunkness, and post made while the poster was drunk, and stories about drunkness and stuff like that, I must say that this story is just wonderful! Thanks for sharing that, dude. I just love it!

Unless you reply stating that you wouldn't want me to, I'm copying that into a text file and saving it on my comp, jsut to make sure I don't lose it.

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go ahead man. I'm glad you like it.
You can tell I wrote it drunk. It jumps from past tense to present tense in the same sentence. Puncuating it would also clean it up a bit.
I read it the next day sober, and I kinda like it.

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Towards the last paragraph you said " back to the present" . That totally made it sound STUPID !!! If you're gonna do that then elude to it, but don't be that blatant about it. I liked it, too. Although it does need some tidying up it was very restful. I liked the color change, too.

Why don't you soberly tidy up the loose ends and repost it all together ?

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I may Sometime when I'm bored.

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That's cool. It was a good read. Why don't you try doing a cerse to go along with feeling you had through it? You might get a little bit more of technical background into it. Just an idea.

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what do you mean by cerse?
(verse? v's beside c. lol)

Here's an "edited" version. But I'm a little buzzed now, so there goes the idea of sober revision. (That's why authors hire editors )

I think I'll call this story:


"Iniquity"

The first thing I remembered was the inside of my eyelids. Not black like usual but a bright pink, the harsh calling of the morning sun. The heat struck me secondly. Verging on unbearable.I lay here for awhile, slowly drifting back to consciousness. My thoughts are muddled, a lingering gift from my companion of the previous evening.
As I try to connect the vague memories of the night past, I hear a monotonous hissing sound. Waves. My eyes, held gently together by that substance known simply as sleep, still balk at the idea of exposing themselves to the harsh light that awaits. Sand grates between my teeth. My fuzzy logic informs me that I'm at a beach.
I register a child's laugh. It's faint. Probably down the beach, comfortably away from the strange being that lies here on the shore.
I've had about enough of my senses analyzing my surroundings so I open my eyes. The sun stings my blues as I behold an empty bottle. I view the world sideways for a second, reality on a tilt, before I straighten up. My spiteful brain revolts, seeking revenge. Pain lashes through my swollen head as I fall back to my former prone position.
I could lie here all day. There's no reason for my awakening. I have no quest, no goal. My next story lies in the bottom of that elusive bottle. Sometimes I find it after 1 or 2. Rarely. Most times I search until my inner sanity gives up and passes me out. At least I don't smell vomit. So far I'm having a good day, by average. And the morning view of the ocean is more soothing than the dull gleam of those metal bars. An all too familiar morning "suprise".
....
I walk, into the welcoming arms of the water and find that I'm smiling. A rare facial appearance on my scarred cynical mug. I lie afloat atop the waves. Dead man's float. I could do that one the best.
As a child, when my brother would take me to the beach, I'd float for hours, days if I could, while he flirted with girls and drank beer. I'd float. He was content with my choice. He didn't like me there anyway, but dad made him take me. It was cheaper than a "goddamn babysitter". So i'd float, and stare into the sky. Occasionally clouds would creep into my vision but I didn't study them like your average dreamy kid. I was facinated by the blue. Floating there with my ears just below water, the sounds of life silenced, I'd become engulfed in the vast blue of the sky.
...
I lie here peacefully. An older child. 35 or 36, something around there. Brother long gone. But I'm amazed at how I fall so easily back into my float., lulled by the serenity of memories. I haven't felt this comfort in a long time.
The child's laughter has turned to cries. I hope he isn't hurt., but It doesn't matter, The blue is so beautiful, so enticing. It darkens from the light blue of the sky to the dark of the atlantic. The dreadful clouds white as they are, ripple.
So peaceful, relaxing.
I've found a color more serene than my beloved blue.
Something more quite than the ocean. This new joy spreads upon my mind, my new friend.
The color black.
I smile once more.
What a wonderful world.

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yes, I meant verse.
I reread your revision and see that you've left out that line I spoke of. That's cool. It has a nice flow to it now. There's a phrase you used in both that I don't think I'd nommented on before ---"reality on a tilt". I just love that for some reason. Probably because of the way mind works it's hitting close to home.
Nice one.

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