A pool of fetid flesh spawns the shadow in the forest.
A creature of the most grotesque proportions.
An eyeless daemon from a world beyond our own.
Deformed keen claws that shred through the flesh of the living.
fire scortched skin of grayden* fog and brown earth impervious to all weaponry and force.
Razor sharp teeth to feed on the unfortunate ones it seizes.
It prowls in the deep dark realm of the haunting forests near the encampments of men.
Unseen by man but heard by all.
Dark nocturnal howls call to the glutted moon in the raven night sky.
Men disappear and are never seen again.
What is found is only putrid flesh stretched amongst trees and shrubs throughout the cryptic woods.
The beast with no name is never spoke about above a whisper.
For ancient mythos tell of a horrid inception of Hell bonding with Earth if spoke about above a whisper.
The Ancient Serpent will arise from his dominion and reign over this newly forged land annihilating all that oppose his ways.

*grayden - Red/Gray color

NOTE it isn't done yet...or at least I don't think it is I want to change the end or make the end better.

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Although you had some in depth imagery in it it just seemed to rehash a lot of other stuff. You need some obtuese angle to dress it up. The whispered parts I haven't seen before that I know of so maybe just say that different;y so as not to repeat the almost same line parts.
Where did this creature originate? What is the thing that could possibly cause it's demise? Could it change shapes ? Or take on the form of something else to spy on it's enemies? Just throwing out some ideas.

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good stuff, i liked it. lots of imagery.

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Like I said the end isn't complete. But technically nothing can phyiscally kill it because it is immune to all forces. I know that sounds dumb but whatever. Originated from the first line... A pool of fetid flesh.... I'm sure I could go into more detail and maybe I will.

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That's cool. I knew you said it was incomplete that's mainly why I threw out some questions. You'll probably get more angles when it gets added to. Be sure and post it.

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If at all an update here is a newer version...

A pool of fetid flesh and crimson ooz spawns the shadow in the forest.
A creature of the most grotesque proportions.
An eyeless daemon from a world beyond our own.
Deformed keen claws that shred through the flesh of the living.
Fire scortched skin of grayden* fog and brown earth impervious to all weaponry and force.
Razor sharp teeth to feed on the unfortunate ones it seizes.
It prowls in the deep dark realm of the haunting forests near the encampments of men.
Unseen by man but heard by all.
Dark nocturnal howls call to the glutted moon in the raven night sky.
Men disappear and are never seen again.
What is found is only putrid flesh stretched amongst trees and shrubs throughout the cryptic woods.
The beast with no name is never spoken about above a whisper.
For ancient mythos tell of a horrid inception of Hell and Earth bonding.
The Ancient Serpent will arise from his dominion and reign over this newly forged land annihilating all that oppose his ways.
What is left is a life of infinite dread and terror for man.

*grayden - Red/Gray color

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The rewrite flows much better and I liked the added imagery. The line length blended well. Nice one.

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merci

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