A field, empty and pleasant
soon rumbles with animosity
two devistating forces clash in an epic ascent

Blood flows from wounds, Heads roll with easy
as these battle-fiends orgasm in victory

The generals shout commands
and the troops move forth
slowly the masses are lessened to a fourth

The battle is soon engulfed
for heaven's waters flood
insanity grows thick
like the grotesque mud

It all ends abrupt
someone has won
the champions cheer in victory
for their enemy is none

The victims are found
For many have been lost
This is a big burden
but only time will tell the cost

A small battle
in a never ending war
The army moves forward
in hopes of battle-gore


wrote it a while ago one night
was thinking of Beowulf and stuff i.e. battle-gore battle-ruin etc
enjoy...

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Not bad. I think you could get into more detail, but the flow of the story was okay. Topics like this are like lovesongs. They get cliche after awhile and one needs something edgy to make it memorable and give it some zip and zest. Not knocking your writing, but more color would make a good piece even better.

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aye i agree with you there...they do become cliche. It half rhymes so i'm not going to try and mend it at all. I'm not good at rhyming so when I do its usually a half-assed quality.

Might want to read Bane...that is a little more....unique...its downt ehre a few threads...free verse with lots of necro- prefixes

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