MetalTabs.com Forum - "Star Shine"

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"Star Shine"

2004-07-21, 00:02

L,B'XXX

dsnt trust ne1 < 30

Join Date: Jan 2003

Location: Home is where the <3 is

Posts: 8,881

"Star Shine"

Just a mellow little piece I wrote about a week ago.

" Star Shine "

A twinkle from afar found its' way to my eyes
The world spun and I glimpsed it again
I thought the star had burned out for all of time
But I see that it was merely in shadow
My eye to the telescopic view
Content to know some things are constant
And my disappointment is no more
It's funny how just a small thing can bring peace
And how variance can change a mood
So I'll write and maintain my vigil

BJH

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2004-07-21, 00:14

bloodredthrone

Senior Metalhead

Banned

Join Date: Jul 2004

Posts: 137

It reads like you talking, I guess it's well written, metaphors and all but I didn't really like it. It's actually just the last 3 lines that brought it down in my opinion. But good work.

2004-07-21, 00:45