giving it all away (re-write)

I sit here waiting
emptiness fills my heart; broken promises fill the night sky
dreams shatter in the wind. you look into the emptiness out their, looking for answers
never found, questions unanswered; never open up to the lies inside
broken hearts follow us around, like conviction nailing itself to our hearts.
the sun sets on broken days anew. leaving emptiness behind.


we crumble to the ground; broke cities hit the dust
giving it all away, throw it all to the floor
remembering when, countless years have done us in, days like years, years of agony
seconds pass like bloody anguish, the tides go by; you let it slide away (you never tried)

The systematic self destruction; brought on by your own self indulgence is bring you down
livening in the shadows, the darkness engulfs your flesh. slowly twirling into a black pit of nothingness
in the light of the shadow
tormenting , you carry on trooping through, never looking back; never looking forward, never
looking back.
your soul filled with emptiness, washing away the bloody sins
questioning your own morality
constantly; always wanting more
pushing for more, always wanting that extra penny, always wanting that extra bit of attention
the walls fall down on you, you look around
existence is fading away
time ceases
never look again.

Well, it had some shining moments and some that I think I've read 20 times before at least. Although some of those thoughts may be straightforward and universal, sometimes there's subtle ways you personalize it more. The latter part of the piece I was especially fond of. It really had good imagery.

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well thank you and i will take your crit into consideration thank you for your input

anyone els?