|
2004-05-01, 06:33
|
 |
Senior Metalhead
|
|
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 160
|
|
|
The sleeper
Mist of tears enshrined the weaper,
fallen was the eternal sleeper.
cutting wrinkles in the hillside,
in the tales of the great-divide.
brimstone rains but darkness falls,
as stone and coal casts up its walls.
sheets of ice encrusting the fires,
with endless but dreaming desires.
Mist of tears enshrined the weaper,
fallen was the eternal sleeper.
cutting wrinkles in the hillside,
in the tales of the great-divide.
pale face deep within the frozen ice,
prisoned to pay the falsely entice.
black streams run down your breast,
narcotic blood with cardiac arrest.
__________________
"Could god Microwave a burrito so hot, that he himself could not eat it?"
|
|
2004-05-01, 13:57
|
|
Senior Metalhead
|
|
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Jax FL, previously lived in Naples Italy
Posts: 253
|
|
|
nice... i like it "black streams run down your breast,
narcotic blood with cardiac arrest." that's a hot part man... keep up writin' i wana see more of this from everyone.
__________________
Crying from the womb, I知 hating you
Burning from the pain, I chase after you,
Seething from the fake, I知 catching you,
Chasing after ghosts, I知 killing you.
|
|
2004-05-01, 23:32
|
 |
I am a tax on the world..
Forum Leader
|
|
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: pizza with a shit on it!
Posts: 7,994
|
|
|
huh, that was cool.
__________________
Man, I get real sweaty after I wack my dong. Yeah, cause I headbang while I do, and I can't really "Jump" (haha ) like VanHalen in a dorm room, so I just walk back and forth....haha a couple days ago I was jumping up and down on my bed, with my pants down and my roommate came in when I wasn't looking, hahaha.
 
This is my band's page
http://www.myspace.com/ferocitydentontx
|
|
2004-05-02, 21:20
|
 |
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
|
|
|
"cutting wrinkles in the hillside,"--Ooo, cool! Great imagery.
"brimstone rains but darkness falls,
as stone and coal casts up its walls.
sheets of ice encrusting the fires,
with endless but dreaming desires."
That made me feel like I was watching the earth explode in birth with the fire and ice. Again really good imagery.
"pale face deep within the frozen ice,"
That reminded me of stories of finding a primitive man or a later explorer in a frozen expression buried in the ice.
What's the story behind the piece? I really liked this.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
|
|
2004-05-03, 20:06
|
|
Senior Metalhead
|
|
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Jax FL, previously lived in Naples Italy
Posts: 253
|
|
|
sorry, had to rave one more time about this...
"Mist of tears enshrined the weaper,
fallen was the eternal sleeper."
this part was nice, i really like the feeling that "Mist of tears enshrined the weaper" created, and the way you spelled weeper makes me think of like...the grim reaper or something, something evil, sinister, and just plain nasty
__________________
Crying from the womb, I知 hating you
Burning from the pain, I chase after you,
Seething from the fake, I知 catching you,
Chasing after ghosts, I知 killing you.
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
|
