I just finished this poem today and Ive decided to share it. It is of a real time in my life, and it may be a bit hard to grasp because I am the only one who knows exactly what it all means...

Where the wolves of Winter cry their eternal sorrow
Deep in the snow capped mountains, high above the earth below
I feel I shall forever belong, in this land of forgotten and gone
Never to feel the touch of warmth our rising fire brings to every dawn.

And when the snow falls I'll remember a time
When a Troll sang, and a sense of love was mine
When the snow was rain, and it trickled past leaves
To soak into the earth of the forest, beneath dark green trees.

Clouds crept overhead to disguise the moon
Cast shadows below, where bright light poured from the room
The light shines bright in my heart, but never again in my eyes
And when the snow falls I'll remember those times
Then and long after hopes, emotions, and all lights die.

END.
I hope its at least OK, cause it holds a lot of thoughts for me.

Its about time somebody posted a good, meaningful poem that had a SET RHYMING SCHEME. People here should take notes from this because this is a great poem.

wow, thanks.
Anybody else who reads this, would you please leave some feedback? You dont have to, but I want to at least read some comments.

nice. it's very empty and resigned like you're searching for something that you know you're not going to find, so you just let live. it's either that or the sense that one has lost something and knows they're never going to get it back, or that all of their efforts to get it back will be in vain, so while they try, they know they won't get it.

The stars shine down on my wet, upturned face,
God look down, in your great grace.
See the people as they fall,
They shall tumble, one and all.

Dry the tears as they glitter in the cold,
Stream on down, face of the bold.
Crying for those long lost things,
That far from you, distance flings.

i just wrote that; like, right now. this is describing me now.

but all in all, you wrote a nice poem dude.

Good aritistic talent. I thought it was pretty cool as well.
Cool ideas, good interpretation.
Your journey for on lyrics is getting off to a good start.

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Now THIS is what I'd like to see more in this forum. I liked it a lot. I made the following changes though...

Where the wolves of Winter cry their eternal sorrow
In the snow-capped mountains, high above the Earth below
I feel forever enthralled, in this land of forgotten and gone
Never to feel the touch of warmth our fire brings to dawn.

And when the snow falls I will remember a time
When a Troll sang, and a sense of love was mine
When the snow was rain, and it trickled past leaves
And soak the forest, beneath the darkest greens.

Clouds crept overhead to disguise the moon
Casting shadows, when our fire left high noon

The light shined my heart, but never again my eyes
And when the snow falls I'll remember those times
Then and long after hopes as all lights die again.

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heh, thanks bestial, and powers.
I'll probably keep it the way it is, though i did like 1 or 2 of the changes!
But I just think i should keep it how i have it. Too many times do i change works of mine that i have already decided to be a certain way. So this ones the way it will be . But thanks anyway!

I hate to say it but i kind of liked the first version better....

There's a short girl at work who a co-worker said looked like a troll so I'm sorry but I got a chuckle there.

Hey, I liked this a lot. It had some beautiful imagery in it..even the Troll fit well with the suroundings. I'm really in a mood for this type of verse though, too. Lonely passionate feelings from deep within. You did well and p'o't' had a few good ideas although some I think change it a little too much since it's personal. But for more of a flow purpose I can see those also.

And that other little sporadic bit of writing should be extended, too. That was cool. It would make a great chorus.

It seems both pieces written here were from the gut and I think that makes for both interest and shared feeling. They're very sensory and that's what makes them really shine. Nice job all around.

But if you're like me, and I've heard this from others , too, don't panic if you hit a low spot writing after packing such an emotional wallop. Soemtimes I get on aroll and I can't stop writing and then I get to a point where everything sounds like shit or doesn't happen at all. Utilize the down times for studying other peoples stuff or doing something unrelated to writing cuz once you're a writer you'll always be one even if years pass between pieces. I know.

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hey, thanks for that encouragement. the feeling that you have so much within that you want to express through verse, but can't is a terrible feeling. right now i'm feeling that while i'm writing stuff is stinks, but then when i'm done with it and read back over it, it's pretty good. it's discouraging, but at the moment it's not so bad.....

L,B'XXX: I knew you would finally leave me a reply! I kept wondering why i hadnt recieved any comments from you because you read just about all the poetry here! . But thank you for your comments, they are always informative.

Well, I try to read everyones pieces. It's helped me a lot with my writing. Reading others' pieces gives me ideas on how to better my own, too. Sometimes it takes me awhile to get there, but I try.

And I got a lot of encouragement from friends I 've met on the net and it's blossomed my stuff so I hope I can do that for others, too.

There's a lot of different stuff here than at tc, too, so I like the diversity. ot too many metalheads like you guys there , but you don't just write that either so it's all good.

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Absolutely beautiful Imagery in this poem, and I usually couldn't care less about imagery when reading. Probably because most stuff I've read doesn't have good imagery.


This really stood out. Awesome Job.