i hate rhyming songs... they sound so primal... im such a hypocrite...
(i dont like the first verse with the lightning and thunder crap...)

Silent Bullets

As the lightning strikes the ground
And the thunder fills the clouds
You pull out your revolver
And kill me with your silent bullets.

You sit with your crown
Speaking so profound
Ignoring me
Out of your world.

And as you look down
And you see my frown
You turn your head
Trying to forget me.

You watch me mope around
Listening to no sound
So I ask you to kill me
With your silent bullets.

Then you can forget me
When I’m under my grave mound
No need to ignore me
When I’m not around.

I like the idea but i don't like how it was done. I hate lyrics without a rhyming scheme they sound messed up and you have to make the rhyme not sound so corny. As you look down and you see my frown? Maybe its just me but i dont really like that part. Not as bad as my friend trying to write lyrics though. Here is what he wrote for one stanza of this one song.

He started to drink,
and his face turned pink,
his parents did crack,
and they never looked back.

Yup...i laughed pretty hard when he showed me that shit. But anyways good job man i can relate to the whole being invisible thing.

the as u look down part was supposed to a person sitting on a thrown being a royal jackass (with a crown) but thanks for the comment, appriciated.

(folds hands, pops knuckles , and clears throat)
That was bad... but it's a start. Let's see if it can be dressed up a little with some imagery. You have an outline here and I won't even say a word about the rhyme scheme. They don't have to rhyme, but parts can. Hey, if it's metal you can really do what you want. I played around with it and this is what I came up with. I hope I didn't change your meaning too much. I don't like to do that. What do you think?

As the lightning strikes the ground
And the thunder fills the clouds
You pull out your revolver
And kill me with your silent bullets..---You don't like this so shitcan it or save it for something else.

(begin whatever tone you want as long as it's metal )
You sit with your mighty crown of nobility
Speaking like what you say is so profound
You speak above me,
Ignoring me out of our world that used to be

As you look down and you see my frown
You turn your head trying to forget me
Try to push me aside , right out of your mind
And you watch as my pain takes hold

You watch me stagger around
Listening to no sound
So I ask you to kill me
With your silent bullets.

Kill me with your silent bullets.
Then you can forget me
No need to ignore me
When I’m not around.


( crash to chorus)
Kill me with your silent bullets
Pierce this heart that once was yours
Load the chamber with misery
Throw my body out and lock the door

(Painful scourching, gritty, ballsy sound--like Metallica used to;P , lots of double bass)
Keep pretending you never met me
Keep pretending you never cared
But when you see another's eyes
Mine will always still be there
In the reflection you will still see me there
Mine will always still be there
(fade a bit)
Mine will always still be there
(trail to a muted, dying feel )
And never go away
(and build back up with more dbl bass and crashes )
And never go away
(steady high energy rock beat)
And never go away
And never go away
And never go away


Whoo ! I got a paper melody for this one ! man , I wish you could hear what I'm hearing with this. If you don't like it, I sure do . heehee Got me all kinds of excited !!!! What do you think? That was fun !

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Think sort of a heavier "Enter Sandman" .

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