Andy Defresne likes miniature pickaxes because he dresses his thumbs up to look like little workmen.

...

That's pretty much the same title. What's next? The InvenPSTion of Lying?

Also, let's not confuse 'Andy Defresne' with 'Patrick McGinger.'

There, it's all new and shiny now. Not literally, so don't try and steal it with your Jew-claw.

If I had a penny for every time you've called me ginger I'd have enough to PayPal you the cost of a bottle of hair dye which you could use to dye your ginger hair a manly dark brown like mine.

OMFG CUUUUUUUUUNT

__________________

Just a heads up: Dystopia's suspension is over.

TAKE COVER!!!!

Singed my hair on the stove last night. I'm an amazing person.

__________________

There are easier ways of curing blue balls.

I use the freezer and a hammer. You can piece the rest together in your mind.

Dylan: e-mail sent. not sure if I helped.

__________________

David Gray's critical faculties leave a lot to be desired. "This year's love had better last". That sentence imposes a maximum length of one year for all potential relationships, so of course it's not gonna fuckin' last. It'll last a year at most, by definition.

What a cunt.

Got it, I'll reply later today when I get a minute. How's about this weather? Eh? Eh!?

You'd be surprised how quite a man can be when he doesn't talk about the weather.

__________________

I use porno and a finger in da butt

__________________

And how bad he spells.

__________________

The Bleeding Tooth Fungus:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...lum_peckii2.jpg

What the bastarding fuck? Christing kite flying badgers that's minging.

Wow, I've never seen any kind of fungi like that before (and I know fungi!). The look of it is kind of unsettling.

I used to find these fuckers a lot in my back yard some years back and I always thought that that Muslim I buried days before was having angel lust or something. When they release spores they look especially cool. Funny thing about them, besides God's hilarious need to make random things in nature slightly resemble a phallus, is that it literally smells like dog shit and it reeks from quite a distance (hence their name, Stinkhorns). I imagine this is done to attract flies to spread spores.

__________________

I hope all you little darlings have a great Christmas. Hugz 2 all

__________________

There are 6 fucking dogs at my house and an aunt that believes in the healing powers of crystals.

__________________

6 dogs? Aww HELL naw! You didn't invite PST to cook for you guys again did ya? "I prefers me some free range mutts for ma' puddin's!" 'cause that's how I imagine PST talks.

Crystals can indeed have healing powers. As long as the crystal is made of medicine as opposed to enchanted coloured glass, but I'm guessing your aunt ain't no pharmacist. As if any of the rotting black cancerous fruit hanging from your family tree could ever amount to anything beginning with a "ph".

Well, it's officially Christmas here. And I'm off to bed to get in a few wanks before Santa arrives with my Cosby Show boxset.

May you all die of car crashes on the snowy roads, but not so many that it becomes significant enough to warrant a TV movie. In the event of MY death which will almost certainly warrant a Hollywood blockbuster I want to be played by Cuba Gooding Junior, possibly Jean Claude Van Dam, but definitely not Colin Farrell even though we look quite similar*.

* fuck PS "Ginger" T.

I'd have gone with Schindler's Lust.



And/or Fist.

__________________

You too Bobbi! Send an extra large hug to Wally, and a reach-around from me.


Happy Xmas everyone. Keep the Christ out of Christmas and enjoy getting drunk with your friends and family!

__________________

Better, but the new rule is that any RTT has to have "PST" in it because as "laconic" as "he" is, he needs every bit of attention as possible.

__________________