There's something cleansing about a fresh, crisp, brand new RTT. It's almost as if the last few hundred posts are wiped off the slate and everyone is given the chance to reinvent themselves, but invariably end up posting the same old bollocks anyway.

^ told ya.

Oh yeah, new forum rule: not only does every RTT title from here on have to contain PST's name, it must also be incorporated into some sort of movie, book or song title pun.

HA!

I'm PST 88, and I approve this message.

cunt

__________________

That's the best you could do, Paddy?

__________________

Finally I can fucking chime in to this new RTT, sheesh. They always become a cluster-fuck and I can't find out what anybody's talking about.

awww look at this GIF of a cute puppy! Cute Puppy GIF

wait... there seems to be something distracting me...

__________________

ewww, get that shit out of here, thats gone too far dude

__________________

I got a fucking cold. I wonder if taking a few shots of vodka will be a bad idea

__________________

Try some herbal liquor. It actually helps
Binge drinking rulez. Fuck those who don`t agree on that

__________________

Yes, which is just sad
It took me about 10 seconds to realise there was a dog on that page. Kinda reminds me of the following experiment (don't read the video description until you've seen it):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJG698U2Mvo

Dr. Paddy says:

Alcohol can affect the respiratory system adversely, which is kinda like putting a cherry on top of your cold. Buy some Vicks VapoRub instead. Or better still, get loaded on Voddy, then use the Vicks to counteract its effect on your breathing and then you'll be no worse off than before! SCORE!

Disclaimer: Dr. Paddy may or may not be a real doctor.

Oh yea I've seen that before. Very funny to watch it with a group of people. Half of them at the end yell out some number in hopes of proving their excellent attention skills haha. Little do they know...

__________________

It's a testament to the unfairness of the universe that I counted fifteen passes AND noted the gorilla and didn't have anyone in the room with me. Congratulations yo Paddy, you've completely ruined my evening.

__________________

haha, thank you Dr. Paddy! I actually ended up taking two shots after that post and I felt great, but not for long. I'm feeling much better today so i don't need that vapor rub crap. I always end up using it as lube anyways, i love when my girlfriends butthole smells like mint.

What's this herbal liquor you speak of Goms? Is it pre-made crap or something you gotta mix together? I was reading something last night that said to mix honey, hot water, lemon juice, and whiskey( or something like that) as a sore throat remedy.

__________________

...you've actually brought Vicks into contact with your genitalia and lived to tell the tale? Doesn't that shit feel like it's melting your helmet off? It sure did when...some guy I know used it to both have a wank and mask the musky tuna stink of his smelly bellboy.

Glad you're feeling better anyway chief Colds are horrible, but it's like venereal disease in that people acknowledge its horridness but don't particularly give a fuck about you when you have it. It's the Bermuda Triangle of sympathy.

Yes, on the cough remedy as long as you don't go overboard or have a fever.
Yes, on the Vicks. I still do the edge of my nostrils when I can't breathe or an odor is fouling my lungs. If you have a cold, rub it on your chest and put on some warm jammies. When you go to bed, put it on the bottoms of your feet, too. Don't know why it helps, but it does and it will make your feet nice and soft, too. Gets rid of toenail fungus, too.
But speaking of dreams, and this is getting as strange as some of you guys, I had a dream a couple nights ago where I was conversing with my hubby. You know, just normal talking and we were for some reason discussing condoms. There was a box with several in it and one that was partly unwrapped with poison ivy growing out of it about 3 feet tall. Did anyone here lose one or have an unexplained itch?

__________________

Careful with the nose; Vicks contains camphor, which is potentially toxic, and putting it on the nostrils is faintly dangerous. Or so the literature says. Then again, the literature accompanying vitamin C pills warns of a possible side effect involving bleeding from the ass, so who the fuck knows?

God has spoken to you. He's said "you know that stuff I said about being fruitful and multiplying? Well, I've changed my mind...in your case. Stop procreating ya crazy bitch! I'm busy and I don't need any more potential serial killers to keep an eye on thankyouverymuch". I'd do what he says, don't be a hero!

__________________

But that's when they'll get me!

I also would have accepted "But that's when I get them!".

You know, for awhile I really couldn't get into Autechre, but I've been listening to Amber at least once a day this whole week.

__________________

Jägermeister helps pretty good for me. I`ve had a sore throat and all the other cold standard crap yesterday, drank about 4 shots and I`m feeling pretty good today.
The combination you posted sounds extremely strange to me. Must taste like shit. Otherwise just drink salviatea with a drop of honey. Best thing ev0r

__________________

Paddy, I know hazards of Vicks are on the label, but the nose thing goes way back - and I don't mean nostril-wise. The make inhalers with the camphor sent so I'm not sure where the hazard comes in. Maybe some idiot stuck half a gallon up there and blocked the passages so bad they advise against it. I was going to add that however you do use it, use it sparingly. I've had the same small jar for about 15 years. It's the barely there approach and that way it's not greasy all over the place either.

The combo The Ex' mentioned is also good with plain ole tea - minus the whiskey. The tannins in traditional tea are antiseptic and can help coughs and sore throats. The lemon has antiseptic and vitamin c, the honey is antibacterial and also coats the throat. The heat opens passages up and the hot water is also hydrating.

Dyl, all you did was brainwash yourself into liking that album. Sort of the way I got to liking Eminem back in the day.

__________________

Nah, I just didn't really get what they were doing and I was also looking/expecting something else. Once I sat down and just listened to it for what it was, I got it.

So Godspeed! You Black Emperor is playing... tickets sold out in under a minute and are now on ebay from anywhere between $100-300. That pisses me left the fuck off.

__________________

Fuck, I just remembered a very weird and popular craze which swept my high school for a few months. It's kinda like substance abuse without the intoxication; you take the little Vicks-soked foam stick thingy out of a nasal inhaler, then rub it under each of your eyes leaving behind a snail trail of Vicks liquid, and then you start crying because of the irritation. Not crying like "OH MY GOD IT BURNS!" but your eyes involuntarily start pissing themselves, and it feels almost pleasant in your eyeballs. It's the same kind of enjoyable burning sensation you get when you eat a really hot curry. By the end of each day half the school looked like they'd just come back from a conjunctivitis convention. I wonder what the teachers were thinking during that period...

The weirdest thing is, I don't remember ever buying one of those inhaler jobbies, but I somehow came into possession of two or three a day [to feed my habit!] so I can only assume that someone was harvesting them from sickly kids and passing them out to the rest of us, or the teachers just left them deposited all around the school for us to find in aid of some mad government experiment.

Thank fuck God (by which I mean the Japs) invented Playstations. Boredom + kids = Columbine.

We had something similar to that. It was one of the high points of my life, being able to walk up to one of the tough guys and saying "Yea dude, you know... my mother uses that in cooking sometimes". Had it been today, I'd probably added a little more snippiness, such as "so you might wanna shape up that act a little before the next test audience" and a little less panicked running. Ah, memories.

__________________

I used to think inhalers were so fucking cool. I have no idea why, either. It wasn't because I thought people would like me if I had one out of some twisted sympathy or something, I just though it looked cool and mysterious (I don't think I really understood what they were when I was young). All I wanted was a hit!

__________________

Haha bully baiting is something I never indulged in. I never had any need, the fuckers loved me already

I think it's the functionality and the busyness of it all. It's the same with smoking; when you have a little craft you indulge in, and look sort of half-heartedly/causally focused on it, it makes you look interesting for some reason. In the case of the inhaler it's got the added coolness of affliction, as you mentioned. Chicks love themselves some affliction, lemme tell ya! Not their own, obviously. That's something only experience can teach you.

On a completely different topic, I have some questions which have been with me for most of my life but have never been answered by anyone to my satisfaction:

1. Why is it considered rude to wear your hat indoors? And why is it a mark of respect to remove your hat when you're passing by a funeral cortège or a memorial site? Using my own brain-glands and their various juices I've come up with a theory which is shit but it's all I have so fuck ya. When people wave to each other it comes from an old warrior thingy whereby you show that your hand is empty, i.e. isn't clutching a sword. It's a way of saying "I'm not threatening you, 'cause I'm all friendly and whatnot". So, I'm wondering if the same is true of wearing a hat. When soldiers or whatever come into your house they might remove their helmet (ha) by way of saying "whilst I'm in your personal space I'm off duty, so to speak". Or it's like saying "my soft, mushy head is now vulnerable to attack, such is my level of my trust in you and your cunting family". I'd so dearly love a better explanation.

2. Why is it rude to put your elbows on the table during dinner? Is it a practical thing, whereby you're more likely to knock shit over, or is it a way of showing the host you're not relaxed as if to say "I fear you and your disapproval so I will always be in a state of anxiety to feed your ego, ya CUNT!" Fucking arbitrary nonsense is what it is.

3. If I want to take my coat off I'll do it, it's not like I'm sitting there boiling in my own meat-bag praying that you'll to ask me to take it off before I die of heatstroke. And if you ask me to take it off and I refuse, fucking leave me alone and stop hassling me. Not really a question, but fuck it.

Yeah, I went to an after-funeral dinner recently in a hat and coat and put my bastarding elbows on the fucking table. SO SUE ME! ...was the name of the waitress at the Chinese restaurant.

BA FUCKING DUM CUNTING TISH!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Ooooh, the Padsy one is treading up my alley. Careful now, if this had been IRL you might get yourself into an hour's lecture with questions like that.

1. You're burning hot. It's a remnant from the middle ages - entering a person's home with your helmet on, especially if you were a knight and so of a finer class, was tantamount to saying "Nice place; I'll take it, rape whatever is in it and burn it". So the code developed that it was good manners to remove it in polite company and it sort of tagged along when steel became cloth.

2. Probably yet another medieval remnant. Sit down and eat like this and lean with your elbows and see how popular you'll be:
http://www.silkewerk.com/images/luttrell2.jpg
You also tended to sit very cramped back then, even at the courts, so putting your elbows on the table was rude in the very practical sense that you were either pushing your table mates away, or mushing up their food for them.

The third one, well, I'm sure they love anyway. I mean, someone does. Must. Right?

__________________

I remember someone older than me talking about doing something with the tidbit in the inhalers, but I think they ate them or put them in beer. Some weirdy butt hippie thing.
Mine helps the snotlocker and reduce the swelling in my nose so I can use my flonase to further reduce the swelling in there.

__________________

And you didn't even buy me dinner first!

I knew my system works! If you just keep throwing out crackpot theories about every subject you can think of one of them is bound to be right eventually. SCORE!

Fuck me, this is why tradition and ancestor worship is a fucking mistake. I know people who get really, REALLY pissed if you break any of the conventions mentioned above, so just imagine how pissed they'd get if the convention was something with some degree of significance. I don't think we need to point out what those things might be. I wouldn't be as annoyed by this shit if the people of today actually knew where their anger comes from, but as a kid every adult I asked about it could only answer "well, it's just the way it is" or "it's how I was raised" or the massively irritating "because it's rude!". "It's rude because it's rude?" "yes!" "fucking die of cancer".

They hate me, which is why they insist on drawing massive amounts of attention to me in a crowded room by badgering me into undressing, and inviting others to join in. It's my First Holy Communion all over again!

4. Why is it considered bad luck to put new shoes on a table? Is that just in my family or what? Again, my sweet theorising may have an answer: it's bad luck to put your new anything on display 'cause some fucker might steal it.

5. This isn't a question, but a sweet revelation. It could be a myth and everyone probably already knows it, but fuckin' humour me ya rat bastids:

You know why people chink their glasses to say "cheers"? There was a time when people were apparently quite happy to poison each other, usually when business of some kind was being conducted, so as a means of showing their good intentions they'd pour some of their drink into the other person's glass and vice versa. Doing so would cause the glasses to make contact and "chink". After many years of this it was whittled down to a purely symbolic act, so instead of pouring their drinks into each other's glasses they'd simply knock 'em together.

Somewhat interesting, I thought.

6. Which ancient proverbs are the correct ones? There's so much contradiction! Example:

Many hands make light work / Too many cooks spoil the broth

Do you just pick one at random? Or do you instead just live your own fucking life? Yeah, I'll do that.

That one is easy to tangle that one out. "Many hands" refers to having a lot of help available for the planned task, "Too many" refers to there being a lot of people jostling each other in the planning face. This is the director of, among other things, a musical show with approximately seventy people involved speaking, so I know damn well what I'm talking about here.

I thought your uncle Gerald was always badgering you to undress because... yea well... not because he hated you. Or is this something pervasive in your family?
Uagh, holy communion. Feel your pain, brother.

__________________

I think both should be condensed into a single new proverb, something along the lines of "always use just the right amount of people for the job; the right amount can be gauged by the complexity of said job and the skills of the individuals you are to enlist for the job". I don't know about you Patrik, but I reckon mine is much catchier. Go forth and spread my Good Word™.

P.S. Uncle Gerald only loves parts of me.

P.P.S. Do you think it's an evolutionary necessity that you can't fuck yourself? That is, you can't get your genitalia into your own mouth or up your own ass? I imagine if we could do that our species would have major problems, but I also think that many of the problems we already have would be solved by it. Chuck a few self-fucking genes into Middle Eastern bodies and you'd see a dramatic decrease in conflict. Suicide bombing would carry with it a renewed and heightened sense of tragedy if the person's severed face was to land neatly atop his upright cock, the shaft right in the mouth-hole, like someone playing a fairground ring game at Halloween. I'm not sure what point I'm making here.

P.P.P.S. Any plans for Halloween?

Me neither.

Hahaha, I burst out laughing on that line.

Paddy, consider yourself lucky. My parents made me go to Cotillion, also known as "social etiquette hell". If you're not familiar with it, its basically a US "program of dance and social etiquette education and training for children..". They teach you all of the dinner "manners", how to treat a "lady" (taking off their gloves, serving them first, giving them the option of lights on or off, etc), how to do all the proper dances, even how to make "proper" fucking conversation with the opposite sex. Basically, its a program that makes you feel incredibly guilty if you ever make any kind of faux-pa and how to hide behind your mask and consequently completely identify with your persona (neurosis? Hi! Come right in!). Learning the dances was interesting and isn't a bad thing to have under my belt (even though I'm no dancer), but the majority of it was agonizing. I remember fighting with my parents and the teachers there about why I should do all of these completely meaningless rituals that have no reason to exist whatsoever, and especially why I have to ask a lady to dance and the girls just got to sit there.

What's worse is how I got there. I had been hearing about how boring and lame this thing called Cotillion was, so, one day, after school, I told my mother to never send me there because all my friends at school say its horrible. Well, she thought I was pulling some reverse psychology and that I really did want to go but was simply too afraid to ask. When I found out they signed me up for, I had a fit but they were still sure it was just because I was too embarrassed to come out with it. It took about a year to finally get it into their fucking skulls that I hated it.

I totally feel you on the absurdness of a lot of the stuff. Some of it is interesting and a nice novelty, like the "cheers" example you just brought up, but, unfortunately, a lot of the useless shit is so hardwired into our societies that it acts as pillars to support it from falling into disarray. I'd personally love to see it all crack and fall, but most people couldn't handle it. They need the rules and guidelines because acting like yourself is an archaic idea that frightens them. Customs are a strange thing that are often like the appendix: a once vital organ that has lost its necessity over the course of evolution yet still remains and eventually becomes, with all pun intended, a pain in the side. But customs/etiquette also gives cultures their own uniqueness and looking into them can give you a great understanding of its history and through that understanding of diversity comes a great appreciation for said culture and one's own, so it isn't all bad.

But I'll still eat with my fucking elbows on the table, thank you very much.

__________________

Holy fuckin' hell that sounds dreadful. Without sounding melodramatic, do you think that shit contributed significantly to your anxiety? Just thinking about you being there is giving me palpitations.

Hahaha! Lights on or off! What about socks?

I'm finding it very difficult to accept that there's any real upside to shit like this. Repression, social fear, needlessly high levels of conformity, guilt, disgust at oneself; it's all very well for serial killers and Catholics but since when do we look to those sick fucks for guidance?

Society doesn't need thought police or such extreme degrees of "etiquette" hammered into people's brain-sacks. Like you say, the thought of "letting go" of these things is probably pretty daunting, because what will happen without them? Well, probably nothing haha. No anarchy or killings in the streets, nor carnal abandon, nor bestiality. Remote tribes in Papa New Guinea are doing just fine, society-wise, without this shit (if you ignore the cannibalism). Politeness and etiquette are good things, but it's these centuries-old shitcake traditions - which are more like superstition than social niceties - which are grinding my balls down to peas. Like I say it's not even these frivolous rules which are bothering me, it's the fact that people play along with them without ever knowing why they do it. I imagine if they ever figure out where these things come from they'd cast them aside like soggy band-aids just as quickly as we do.

Still, there are several rules which in and by themselves seem arbitrary but still are very useful. How the cutlery is arranged. That it's the one on the right hand of the host, if anyone, who gives a short thank's-for-the-dinner speech. And so on. There's a whole lot of 'em that makes for example a dinner run smoothly. The irritating aspect is that they're so mixed up with remnants that we don't really need.

__________________

No. My anxiety thing's catalyst was primarily brought on by a semi-codependent relationship that brought on a lot of guilt I was pretty unaware of having and it all kind of came up at once during a stressful situation. I really don't think my past or home-environment had much to do with it directly at all as I've had a pretty healthy home life with good parents. Its also in my genetics as a lot of people in my family have/had it.

It does put a lot of stress upon people to keep up the charades. However, it really all comes down to the importance and stress that you put upon it and yourself. I'd continue the conversation but I'm really fucking hungry and we seem to be pretty much on the same point.

HUNAN CHICKEN HERE I COME

__________________

Does msg add to your anxiousness?

__________________

I've fallen in love with this song

On that note, this is a pretty good game.

__________________

I once had a friend that would eat so much beef jerky he'd get horrible headaches from the MSG (that his favorite brand used, apparently).

That song's bass line is so identical to Radiohead's "All I Need Me" I couldn't never detach it from that.

God save this hangover and damn spiced rum.

__________________

Also, thought I'd share this: http://natalynz.free.fr/Radiohead_Prague/Main.html

About a year ago Radiohead perfomed in Prague (Praha) and a handful of fans set out to record the show from different angles. They later sent it to the band who mixed it and provided the audio master. Its fucking TITS if you like Radiohead. Great quality all around.

__________________

I love Radiohead. And now I love you, Dylan. Thank you.

__________________

Prague is a pretty cool place. I want to go back again sometime.

__________________

I've asked you not to discuss what we had in public, and I expected that request to be respected.

Paddy brought it up, it'd have been rude not to reply to him. And from what you put me through, I have every right to tell anyone I want. ITS ALWAYS ABOUT YOU!!

__________________

I'm going to point quietly to the thread title and give you a smug little grin.

I disagree with that guy in that thread! Useless stupid shit like that in that thread was funny! And that's what MetalTabsT(trademark) is all about!

Didn't you lose your virginity to some prostitute there?

i thought about it but i was really scared to go outside the apartment at night.

__________________

I have a friend who did that in Amsterdam.

__________________

Not the best choice in hookers if you ask me

__________________

Amsterdam actually has some of the better looking whores I've ever seen. A friend offered to pay for me, but I declined. I'm half regretful half happy about that decision. I didn't see any in Prague, though you really don't need one there.

__________________

there are a ton of brothels in Prague, they are probably just hiding in there

__________________

yea I'm just not too sure about the whole whore thing, lol. if it REALLY comes down to it, and you absolutely can't get any pussy then sure. Or if you get a shitload of pussy then maybe it'd be fun in a different way haha.

__________________

Suffocation is touring the US with Decrepit Birth and others.

Just visit the Dollhouse in Hamburg. If you have a thing for latinas you will cum like a waterfall.
Or visit the Reeperbahn if you want Trannys and syphilis

__________________

Are there any trannys without syphilis?

__________________

Uhm I don`t think so. Or actually I`m not that sure about that. Let`s ask Dystopia, he knows what we`re talking about

__________________

Is there syphilis without trannys? Or better yet, is Tranny actually there?

I just don't think I'd actually enjoy a prostitute very much. Besides it not being very appealing to me, I know that if I ever did hire one that right after I blew my load I'd be thinking "Jesus Christ, empty sex is not worth $150".

__________________

Hahaha, Ziiingggg!

The most i've ever had to pay for sex was maybe a cheap diner, gas money to drive over, or a smoke-up beforehand. Actually condoms run a few bucks, so those too.

__________________

Sex is free if you don't mind spending most of your night in the bushes with both a balaclava and an overblown sense of entitlement.

Whores! All of 'em!

__________________

I remember a sailor I knew talking about that place. lol It was dangerous and a few of his buddies found out the hard way. That was back in the 70's!

__________________

The 70s were when all the pimps started a war there. Were his buddies okay haha?


You know what`s also really funny? Okay is a little bit more expensive than "free" but, just take a cloth, a little bit of Daddy`s little helper (another name is How I met Your Mother") and ask her if the cloth smells like chloroform. You`ll then have up to 4 hours of great fun, depends of how much the slut inhaled

__________________

Yeah, the bruises healed after a while. I think that was the place where he saw a woman sitting on her balcony with whip and chain and he said wth. They warned him!
Silly sailors. Oh, the stories I have heard.

__________________

Yup. Guys who treat sex as just a physical thing seem kinda empty and sociopathic to me. Wouldn't that be a little awkward just banging away, finishing, and then being like "okay that's over" and walking away?

On another note, I just finished scoring a 21 minute short film. Longest I've done so far. Maybe I'll have a link later if it's put online. The music is going to be touched up after the screening at this little theater, though. Since I had to rush it I'm only about 75-80% satisfied with it. But then again, the director wanted a different musical style than I would have picked, so even with change it'll probably still stay around there in my liking.

__________________

Send it to me, now. I just finished a 7 minute short film for a friend that came out alright. Lets exchange.

Did you have to make one long continuous track for the film or was it just little pieces strewn throughout?

__________________

If Lykathea Aflame (now Lykathea) or Capharnaum ever release a new album I am going to shit myself stupid.

__________________

I've been waiting for Capharnaum to get their shit together for longer than I can remember. I guess Jason is too busy with producing and Matt, well, he's got Trivium to think of these days.

__________________

I had 5 separate tracks to fill it up, and then gave the director the cues to put them in. They were PRETTY accurate, but he might have to just watch it to shift them over a wee-bit sometimes. Once I have the mixed film I'll let you know! Should be soon. In the meantime, you can give me yours muahahaha.

__________________

Sometimes its pretty tough to get the music to cue up with the scenes perfectly while still playing in a recognizable tempo/time signature and I'm always paranoid that they'll put the tracks, like, one second off and it'll all fall to shit. Timecode, baby!

What's your youtube account? It on there but its private so I have to invite you to see it.

__________________

I'm not falling for that one again.

Ugh, fucking Trivium. Why pay any attention to the ugliest and most boring child in your family? I think we both also agree that Minus does the same thing and should release a Jesus Christ Bobby follow up. Jesus Christ Minus, what happened?! However I read that their last album was titled The Great Northern Whalekill which is pretty cool.

__________________

I love the Saturday Morning Breakfast Cerial comic: http://zs1.smbc-comics.com/comics/20100803.gif

__________________

their skits are pretty good too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbEtxu6vnK8

__________________

Oooh SKITS! I'm drunk and read it as "skirts" and I'm all "Oh shit I fucking love ugly nerdy chicks trying to look attractive by wearing stuff made by creative people" but then I saw that you meant skits and then I was all "Oooh! Shit! He means skits and while his skits are good, I much prefer his comics but I'm totally glad D&Q made the recommendation in case I had never seen the skits" and then I was like "Oh man, I'm rambling because I've been drinking" and then I was like "shit".

__________________

I have been drinking Gin. Booyah.

__________________

and im stil drunkk

__________________

The fact that Capharnaum managed to make the second album is a minor miracle, and we should be happy they gave us that much.

Lykathe has no fucking excuse, however. Even Czechs should be able to make another album.

Fuck Marcel Proust, fuck Bernard Pivot and FUCK James Lipton: I AM PADDY PRIVOTPON!

01. What is your favourite word?
02. What is your least favourite word?
03. What turns you on?
04. What turns you off?
05. What sound or noise do you love?
06. What sound or noise do you hate?
07. What is your favourite curse word?
08. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
09. What profession would you not like to do?
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Copy and paste these questions into a new post and answer them or a baby will die, immediately after which I'll fucking cum into a bucket of monkeys. Or, if you're one of those email-forwarding hags, someone you care about with die of cancer and before doing so they'll stop sending you turnips in Farmville.

How did you know about turnips in Farmville? Did you do what you said you wouldn't? Hmm?

__________________

01. What is your favourite word? tits
02. What is your least favourite word? chihuahua
03. What turns you on? preteens
04. What turns you off? fat chicks in corsets, they are still fat for fucks sake
05. What sound or noise do you love? silence
06. What sound or noise do you hate? my neighbors shitty music, my neighbors standard american mini-dog that all apartment dwellers seem to have
07. What is your favourite curse word? fuck
08. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? pornstar
09. What profession would you not like to do? chemist
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "well looks like the crazies were right after all"

Copy and paste these questions into a new post and answer them or a baby will die, immediately after which I'll fucking cum into a bucket of monkeys. Or, if you're one of those email-forwarding hags, someone you care about with die of cancer and before doing so they'll stop sending you turnips in Farmville.

__________________

1. Kurwa
2. francaise
3. tits but not too big. What is even worse are flat girls
4. bbw
5. The noise in the intro part to Reek of Putrefaction
6. Technobeats
7. Fuck
8. Forensic/Pathology
9. Math, fuck that
10. "You want to get in here? Back off you shrimpdick and burn in hell. For fucks sake"

__________________

1. Flabbergasted
2. having a hard time with this one lol
3. good looking eyes/tits
4. Roseanne Barr
5. Banging the fuck outta my drums
6. Metalcore/Deathcore/Hardcore/Screamo
7. Shit
8. drum instructor would be pretty damn fun
9. i do not want to keep cooking for the rest of my career, ill tell you that
10. a nice racist joke

__________________

A few years ago one of the dudes mentioned they have about 80% of the material done. I just read the other day from one of the dudes that's suppose to record them that they've started tracking some of the stuff but what's really keeping them behind is whats-his-face is extremely lazy.

You ever check out !T.O.O.H.!, Rich? Another awesome Czech band. Get Pod Vládou Biče or Rad a Trest (I prefer the former). Great shit.


1.) Resonance
2.) Crackle
3.) Eyes, titties, smell
4.) Afterbirth
5.) Tintinnabuli
6.) Cat fight screeches
7.) Fuck
8.) Astrophysicist - though I could never get that math down - or an Able Seaman
9.) Hospice nurse
10.) "I fucking tried to tell you!"

The first question was the hardest. However, if it allowed a string of words, that'd be easy.

__________________

1. Death... and dying
2. Sandwich!
3. A hot chick lookin' punk/gothic.
4. Paddy lookin' punk/gothic, with a strapon and all the shit
5. music
6. Disney
7. Castration of the innocent
8. A psychologist so that I can get paid for listening to people's problems and then tell them exactly what they expect to hear.
9. Selling drugs. Too lame. Anything less than pimpin' and political assassinations just aint worth the money these days.
10. "Hey there"

__________________

ME NEXT ME NEXT!

1. Nigger juice.
2. Anything French.
3. Nice ass and smile..a nice ass smile.
4. Cold sores.
5. A solid Thrash riff.
6. Traffic.
7. Fuck, Bullshit, Fucking Bullshit.
8. Guerrilla Rebel Army Leader that just overthrown a shitty African country.
9. Fluffer.
10. "Here are the 72 Virgins I promised you"

__________________

__________________

Okay, what the heck.

01. food!!!
Wow, the ole man just came over and laid a liplock on me for no reason!!!
Oh, he wants dinner. And he called me beyotch.
Anyways.......

02. I think all you guys know that one.
03. humor
04. rude people that think they're all that
05. waves, or the kids laughing.
06. See #4.
07. sherrogans (elephant dung)
08. I dabble too much to pick one. Musician? Archeologist? Fashion designer?
09. grease trap cleaner
10. "Your great grandpa's been waiting to tell you why there was a stick through the barn roof." And you thought it was going to be something esoteric. He'll probably say "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOT YOUUUUUUU!!!???!!!" and faint.

__________________

I read somewhere that the vocalist didn't want to pursue music with shouting in it, hence the change in direction. Pretty shitty, 'cause Jesus Christ Bobby is about as close as any band has gotten to the awesomeness of Converge.

__________________

01. Onomatopoeia
02. Manchester
03. A glimpse of stocking top
04. A girl who turns out to be a Manchester United fan
05. Fucking Nile
06. Car alarms at 4am
07. Twunt
08. FBI agent
09. Carer for the elderly
10. "Not you again"

__________________

1. Aglets
2. Headcheese (love the actual product, though)
3. Eyes, humor, music, inability to be offended
4. Ability to be offended
5. Real orgasms
6. Fake orgasms
7. Irish
8. Journalist
9. Anything that requires you to spend eight hours doing three hours' worth of work
10. 'This is all just an extended hallucination due to the DMT you body released at the moment of death. None of this is real, nor am I, and in reality you're just a corpse on acid.'

Of course I'm not sure whether or not the whole DMT thing is a myth. Also, to The Execrator, if you hate cooking that much you're clearly not working in the right type of restaurant.

PST, I think he's working at the Donut Hole - Where the West Meets the Grease, but he won't say what he does there. It might be too painful to talk about.

__________________

Well, that certainly would be painful. It'd be all that much worse if you've ever worked in a good (clean, efficient, creatively rewarding) kitchen, so I hope for your sake you haven't.

01. What is your favourite word?
- No
02. What is your least favourite word?
- Facebook
03. What turns you on?
- Girls' fannies
04. What turns you off?
- Anyone over 4 feet/years of age
05. What sound or noise do you love?
- Squelch
06. What sound or noise do you hate?
- Chris' mama nagging me to finish her off every night
07. What is your favourite curse word?
- Michael Jackson
08. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
- Catholic Priest
09. What profession would you not like to do?
- Everything else; work is for chumps and fascists
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
- If it weren't for Bobbi's obsessive praying for your weasely soul I'd have fucked you into the fire-pit long before your corpse even went limp, ya rat fuck. Feel free to dip the virgins, and feel even more free to give 'em a pearly gate*.

* The pearly gate is a practice whereby the male directs his ejaculate at, not in, the female's meat-passage. It is recommended that you perform this act only when wearing a long white beard and sandles whilst a friend named Peter stands by the bed pointing intently at the labial sweetmeats.

I've been working on a virus which will infect turnips and create widespread famine in Farmville, then I'll set up a new website for the starving, stick-like diaspora, death and hunger on their breaths, eyes bulging from their dried up sockets like onions in eggcups, at which point I'll delete their accounts and have a wank.

Speaking of Diaspora:

http://www.joindiaspora.com/

I'm still not signing up for this shit, but it's an interesting concept.

P.S. There was talk of a cookery/recipe thread ages ago but it never materialised. Seems like a good idea; any takers?

PST- I ran my own kitchen for awhile and it was fun, but some good things end.

Paddy- rofl At least ya know He's got His eye on ya. Even then.......

__________________

I could build an altar to you and worship with the bleeding of a midget every day if you did that. Damn FB-games. Gah.

What is that diaspora thing? Looks like some sort of FB copy cat.

__________________

Yeah, sorry, the official site doesn't really explain much about it. It's basically a privacy-conscious counter to Facebook and similar sites. It's open source, too. Here's the Wikipedia article about it:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diaspora_(software)

I haven't got any interest in sites/projects like these but it's a small comfort that something like Diaspora is trying to find a footing in the insane privacy ejaculation which is the interwebs.

I AM SO BORED I NEED A NEW JOB.

__________________

Try walking into the manager's office, drill a pencil through his left eye and spend a little time to see whether it's possible to have it stick out through the other eye socket; then you activate the company intercom and declare your alpha male takeover of the whole shebang. Where you go from there is all up to you.



I'm not sure I see the point of it, but whatever floats their boat. Personally I quite like FB because of the use I have of it in political work - you'd be surprised.

__________________

At this stage it's more about the principle than anything else but it's trying to stem the evolution of a major problem in the long run; Facebook (and most of the web) is designed in such a way that people need to opt out of sharing personal information with everyone, which is obviously problematic when you're dealing with massive corporate interests like Facebook coupled with people who have only been using the net for a few years and still open .exe attachments from emails promising them nude pics of Michael Jackson's monkey. With Diaspora you can still share all of that info if you want, but you're in complete control of it and you aren't in any danger of sharing info to the wider internet by accident or through ignorance or unclear privacy settings. More importantly you don't have to hand over large chunks of your identity in order to make use of the software.

I think it's mainly aiming to rectify the problem of privacy on an individual level, so using Facebook for your political party or band isn't really a problem in those terms.

I sound like I'm trying to sell Diaspora; I couldn't give half a rotten shit either way

And you're one of the good guys.

Paddy, you should check your messages over the-ah.

__________________

For goodness sake's Paddy! Would you stop doing that?????

Doing what? Being awesome with a huge cock? I can't, I'm just as God made me!

I'm going to bed, not because I'm tired but because the night demons will be sweeping through here any minute to harvest the anuses of anyone who's still awake, and I needs me my anus for poopin' roughly cylindrical turds; what kind of man would I be if I only ever shat nondescript lumps? Exactly, I'm off.

P.S. We need a MetalTabs dead pool. There had better be one here by the time I get back tomorrow, or there'll be CHRUBBLE.

P.P.S. Bobbi isn't allowed to participate because her presence in the pool would completely fuck with the odds.