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  #1  
Old 2010-06-17, 11:53
The Execrator's Avatar
The Execrator The Execrator is offline
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Location: Upstate New Yaawwk
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Long ass letter I wrote to Dystopia

Marijuana is not bad unless the user is already completely stupid, like in your case. I propose marijuana smokage to be allowed for all persons above a certain IQ level, in which Dystopia will not be able to pass.


I also propose the idea of Pedophile towns. Why should the government care if adults wish to touch children? Lets design small communities where juvenile delinquents can be imported and engulfed by the hands of gods most beloved criminals.

Feel free to add to this long ass letter

1.) Children's pants will not be allowed in Pedophile towns.
Paddy
2.) Paedophiles will ride around the town in ice-cream trucks.
3.) Each child (or "baby gap") sent into the town will be given an unlimited supply of cotton swabs and sanitary towels to sop up the rusty-red effusions from their leaky anuses.
4.) Paddy will be stationed at the front gate administering quality control tests to each new arrival using a selection of finely-calibrated meat-flavoured mallets.
5.) To fund PaedoVillage™, CCTV cameras will record every home and street in the town 24/7, and the best bits will be condensed into a weekly 2-hour Reality TV show entitled "Cum-burps!"
6.) Anti-depressants will be pumped directly into the town's water supply, as will spermicide and Febreze.
7.) The bubbling anuses of a freshly cream-pied child will be pressed against a sheet of peach-coloured construction paper and these will then be auctioned online at pBay.com, the proceeds of which will go directly into the town's "Uncle Gerald's Bedtime Stories" programme which aims to reunite imprisoned paedophiles with their nephews.
8.) Children will do a 3-year "tour" before returning home, which ensures that the kids will never get too old to be attractive and that their rectal tubings won't have corroded beyond repair. On their way out, children will receive a ham-flavoured handshake from Paddy.
PST
9. Upon leaving, each child will be given a coupon redeemable for entry into the Pedoville of their choice upon reaching the age of majority, as, statistically speaking, it's likely that the majority of them will now grow up to be pedophiles.
10. Tricycles will be provided for the children to ride around town on - it's only fair that every Pedoville resident be provided for, transportation-wise.
11. Said trikes will be affixed with anal dildoes so true comfort can and will never be achieved.
Paddy
12. During mild winters, when the older generation of paedo-residents get fucked by the big blue cock (see: hypothermia), forum trolls who have in the past proclaimed their homophobic distaste for musical televisual experiences are to be shipped in to dig for truffles in the beef stew dispensers of the baby gaps. This ensures that the perforated linings of their internal meat-socks aren't given the opportunity to heal closed - turning what was once a natural penis sleeve into a solid core of cartilage - as we await the arrival of the next consignment of Catholic priests.
13. THERE IS NO #13
14. To preserve the anonymity of our residents the children assigned to their penises are to be blinded, deafened and muted prior to shipment. The one's who are already blind, deaf and dumb are to have their fingers broken.
15. Every month a single baby gap will be selected to leave PaedoVillage™ if they win the Bottomless Anus Competition. To win, they simply have to hold about their persons more hot porridge chowder than any other child. To determine the winner each child will be weighed first thing after breakfast every morning, and this weight will be measured against their weights post-cream-pie. The winner not only gets to leave with relatively fewer toiletry problems than their colleagues, but they also receive a lifetime membership to Paddy's Topless Backyard Wrestling school.
16. Go-karts optional.
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9/23

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Please excuse me for I currently have a terminal erection, and the only cure is midget-cunny.

Last edited by The Execrator : 2010-06-18 at 01:14.
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  #2  
Old 2010-06-17, 12:50
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TruthDevoid TruthDevoid is offline
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hahahaha!
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I don't know about you, but I deadlift because I strive to be the first human tree stump pulling machine


Quote:
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the song serial cocksucker changed my life


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Are you going to snort cheap pharmaceutical drugs with your lizard as well?
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  #3  
Old 2010-06-17, 14:01
Paddy Paddy is offline
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2.) Paedophiles will ride around the town in ice-cream trucks.
3.) Each child (or "baby gap") sent into the town will be given an unlimited supply of cotton swabs and sanitary towels to sop up the rusty-red effusions from their leaky anuses.
4.) Paddy will be stationed at the front gate administering quality control tests to each new arrival using a selection of finely-calibrated meat-flavoured mallets.
5.) To fund PaedoVillage™, CCTV cameras will record every home and street in the town 24/7, and the best bits will be condensed into a weekly 2-hour Reality TV show entitled "Cum-burps!"
6.) Anti-depressants will be pumped directly into the town's water supply, as will spermicide and Febreze.
7.) The bubbling anuses of a freshly cream-pied child will be pressed against a sheet of peach-coloured construction paper and these will then be auctioned online at pBay.com, the proceeds of which will go directly into the town's "Uncle Gerald's Bedtime Stories" programme which aims to reunite imprisoned paedophiles with their nephews.
8.) Children will do a 3-year "tour" before returning home, which ensures that the kids will never get too old to be attractive and that their rectal tubings won't have corroded beyond repair. On their way out, children will receive a ham-flavoured handshake from Paddy.

And so on and whathaveyou etc.
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  #4  
Old 2010-06-17, 17:12
PST 88 PST 88 is offline
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9. Upon leaving, each child will be given a coupon redeemable for entry into the Pedoville of their choice upon reaching the age of majority, as, statistically speaking, it's likely that the majority of them will now grow up to be pedophiles.
10. Tricycles will be provided for the children to ride around town on - it's only fair that every Pedoville resident be provided for, transportation-wise.
11. Said trikes will be affixed with anal dildoes so true comfort can and will never be achieved.
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  #5  
Old 2010-06-17, 17:22
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L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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No go karts?
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #6  
Old 2010-06-17, 18:01
Paddy Paddy is offline
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12. During mild winters, when the older generation of paedo-residents get fucked by the big blue cock (see: hypothermia), forum trolls who have in the past proclaimed their homophobic distaste for musical televisual experiences are to be shipped in to dig for truffles in the beef stew dispensers of the baby gaps. This ensures that the perforated linings of their internal meat-socks aren't given the opportunity to heal closed - turning what was once a natural penis sleeve into a solid core of cartilage - as we await the arrival of the next consignment of Catholic priests.
13. THERE IS NO #13
14. To preserve the anonymity of our residents the children assigned to their penises are to be blinded, deafened and muted prior to shipment. The one's who are already blind, deaf and dumb are to have their fingers broken.
15. Every month a single baby gap will be selected to leave PaedoVillage™ if they win the Bottomless Anus Competition. To win, they simply have to hold about their persons more hot porridge chowder than any other child. To determine the winner each child will be weighed first thing after breakfast every morning, and this weight will be measured against their weights post-cream-pie. The winner not only gets to leave with relatively fewer toiletry problems than their colleagues, but they also receive a lifetime membership to Paddy's Topless Backyard Wrestling school.
16. Go-karts optional.
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  #7  
Old 2010-06-18, 01:47
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JoeYngVai JoeYngVai is offline
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+1 to all who contributed

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Quote:
Originally Posted by PST 88
The bottom of that 'Don't Click' picture is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. 'No, I really DO have a vagina! It's right here!'


Blackwater (Friend's Metal Band)
MY WEBSITE!


R.I.P Paddy. My dear and loving father will never be forgotten.
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  #8  
Old 2010-06-18, 06:01
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Gomli Gomli is offline
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I love you Justin
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C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
Pour ces bois obscurs maintenant endormis.


R.I.P moe
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  #9  
Old 2010-06-19, 00:50
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Dystopia Dystopia is offline
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17. These new "Towns" will segregate in:
-San Francisco, CA
-The entire state of Massachusetts.
-All of Europe, except Germany and Great Britain. I have other plans for them... muhahahahaha!
-Somewhere in Canada, and *drumroll*
-The border of Arizona/Mexico, on the side of Mexico to be used as a blockade. Maximum "Security checks" will be required upon entrance, exit, and every time you eat a cheeseburger or smoke a bowl.

18. Children that cry too early get tortured.

19. MAMBLA will "Invent" whatever religions, constitutions, news/media and drugs that will corrupt and just drive the livin' shit out of everyone else until they're crazy.

20. Castratrix towns will also be founded, as it is only fair to let women have their sick cruel perversions as well.
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  #10  
Old 2010-06-19, 06:35
Paddy Paddy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dystopia
-All of Europe, except Germany and Great Britain. I have other plans for them... muhahahahaha!
I think the Catholic Church pretty much has Europe sewn up (for want of a better phrase!).
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  #11  
Old 2010-07-01, 03:54
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Dystopia Dystopia is offline
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And I never really got that letter. I have been checking the mail every day, except once or twice on Tuesday and I think Thursday. Maybe someone else checked it and you accidentally got my name wrong, since we don't know each other very well and all, and threw it away thinking it was a wrong address. I would really like to get that letter. Holla!
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  #12  
Old 2010-07-01, 07:35
Paddy Paddy is offline
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Ctrl + P
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  #13  
Old 2010-07-09, 19:36
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Midnight Empire Midnight Empire is offline
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Posts: 166
Thought his was about the crust punk band lol. In which case having an opinion wouldn't matter since they seem to know everything.
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