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Old 2009-10-31, 17:46
MetalThrashingMad's Avatar
MetalThrashingMad
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RTT #160: Do you ever fantasize... about being killed?

Thought I'd make a festive title.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
"Ja mein little poodle, I will hang you by your nipples in my garage,
 
Old 2009-10-31, 17:52
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I've only had one desire since I was born, and that is to be eaten. Otherwise I can't relate to the title

I can't believe how nice out it is today, couldn't ask for anything better at this time of the year. Enjoy your Halloween cunts, i'll be working all night
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9/23

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Please excuse me for I currently have a terminal erection, and the only cure is midget-cunny.
 
Old 2009-10-31, 18:01
Paddy
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I often fantasise about being eaten alive by a giant cunt with teeth. Not my entire body, just my cock. And not with teeth, but with slippery yummy girl cum.
 
Old 2009-10-31, 18:04
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Have you seen the movie Teeth, Paddy? It's about a girl who actually has 'a giant cunt with teeth' haha
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9/23

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Please excuse me for I currently have a terminal erection, and the only cure is midget-cunny.
 
Old 2009-10-31, 18:14
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I saw the movie Teeth!!

Hey Paddy, your review on the slayer album was pretty accurate. There's a few songs on there that are so bad, i can't even believe it's slayer, even at their worst. And that guitar tone...what the fuck. I think they might have recorded the album through Roland Microcubes.

Sorry i haven't been around much lately guys, I've been so busy with this job training and whatnot. I'll try to pop my head in every now and then and see what's up. Once training is over in a few weeks, I'll be back more often.
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Quote:
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I don't know about you, but I deadlift because I strive to be the first human tree stump pulling machine


Quote:
Originally Posted by viewer_from_nihil
the song serial cocksucker changed my life


Quote:
Originally Posted by BassBehemoth
Are you going to snort cheap pharmaceutical drugs with your lizard as well?
 
Old 2009-10-31, 18:43
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Execrator
Have you seen the movie Teeth, Paddy? It's about a girl who actually has 'a giant cunt with teeth' haha


I just had to look it up. And it's for real. Somehow, I get the feeling that we're rapidly approaching the level of those Q types in star trek... every possible avenue of life completely explored, if not for curiosity so for desperate need of something that just might have a decayed whiff of "original".
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Listening to Cannibal Corpse and cutting trees with a chainsaw, now that's metal

"He preferred the hard truth over his dearest illusion. That, is the heart of science."
- Carl Sagan

"Imagination is more important than intelligence" - Einstein
 
Old 2009-10-31, 19:31
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Anybody have some crazy plans for halloween?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PST 88
The bottom of that 'Don't Click' picture is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. 'No, I really DO have a vagina! It's right here!'


Blackwater (Friend's Metal Band)
MY WEBSITE!


R.I.P Paddy. My dear and loving father will never be forgotten.
 
Old 2009-10-31, 20:03
Paddy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Execrator
Have you seen the movie Teeth, Paddy? It's about a girl who actually has 'a giant cunt with teeth' haha
*Loads up UseNet client*

Quote:
Originally Posted by TruthDevoid
I saw the movie Teeth!!

Hey Paddy, your review on the slayer album was pretty accurate. There's a few songs on there that are so bad, i can't even believe it's slayer, even at their worst. And that guitar tone...what the fuck. I think they might have recorded the album through Roland Microcubes.
The tone reminded me of the first practise amp I got with my Squire. It had an overdrive button which turned the twangy clean tone into a twangy clean tone with a slight fuzziness. "Wasp in a jam jar" kinda sums it up, I suppose!

Quote:
Originally Posted by TruthDevoid
Sorry i haven't been around much lately guys, I've been so busy with this job training and whatnot. I'll try to pop my head in every now and then and see what's up. Once training is over in a few weeks, I'll be back more often.
How's the training going? Is there a rudimentary first aid course included in it? I often wonder if prison guards know about that shit, or if they just leave you there in a pool of your own juices until a paramedic comes haha.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
I just had to look it up. And it's for real. Somehow, I get the feeling that we're rapidly approaching the level of those Q types in star trek... every possible avenue of life completely explored, if not for curiosity so for desperate need of something that just might have a decayed whiff of "original".
Haha! Just when you think there's nothing left to be covered that hasn't already been covered by Saló or the 120 Days of Sodom, this Freudian nightmare seeps onto our screens.

I just looked it up on IMDB.com, and it appears to be a comedy. I'm mildly disappointed. Still, vagina dentata is an interesting topic!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vagina_dentata

I'm not sure how true the Freudian angle on this is (that is, that the idea of a pussy with teeth comes from male anxiety about castration) given that we quite happily jam our cocks into pretty much any willing mouth.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeYngVai
Anybody have some crazy plans for halloween?
Nah, gonna do what I do every night - post my meaningless drivel here, watch downloaded comedy shows then fuck off to bed, which will be tricky given that there's a full scale firework war going on outside my house. How about you? Going paed-o-treating this year?

EDIT: Am I the only one experiencing an intermittent database error today?

http://img245.imageshack.us/img245/...rormessagep.png

Last edited by Paddy : 2009-10-31 at 22:13.
 
Old 2009-10-31, 22:26
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Yea, I was actually left half stunned for a little while - it's up on youtube - in a state of serious introspection, hammering the question "How much, deep down and when it all comes down to it, do I fear having my penis cut off by, oh, say, just as an example, a vagina equipped with teeth?" What would Freud have to say about it? Is my former promiscuousity in fact an expression of a desire to be castrated and generally, horribly mutilated?
Of course, I've always considered Freud as a sort of jack-in-the-box at a gallery of late 18th century French art, placed with extreme care at a thirty two degree angle - about as random and with a striking similarity in both appearance and behavior. But, psychoanalysis can come up with ideas such as that infants fantasize about their mothers' breast being filled with acid and men go about secretly wishing that they'll someday stumble upon a vagina with a bite to it, which somehow almost make it worth it to acknowledge it as a science.
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Listening to Cannibal Corpse and cutting trees with a chainsaw, now that's metal

"He preferred the hard truth over his dearest illusion. That, is the heart of science."
- Carl Sagan

"Imagination is more important than intelligence" - Einstein
 
Old 2009-10-31, 23:23
Paddy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
Yea, I was actually left half stunned for a little while - it's up on youtube - in a state of serious introspection, hammering the question "How much, deep down and when it all comes down to it, do I fear having my penis cut off by, oh, say, just as an example, a vagina equipped with teeth?" What would Freud have to say about it? Is my former promiscuousity in fact an expression of a desire to be castrated and generally, horribly mutilated?
Of course, I've always considered Freud as a sort of jack-in-the-box at a gallery of late 18th century French art, placed with extreme care at a thirty two degree angle - about as random and with a striking similarity in both appearance and behavior. But, psychoanalysis can come up with ideas such as that infants fantasize about their mothers' breast being filled with acid and men go about secretly wishing that they'll someday stumble upon a vagina with a bite to it, which somehow almost make it worth it to acknowledge it as a science.
Hahaha! One of your finest posts

The Freud crew kinda lost credibility with me when I heard that his daughter, Anna, came up with the idea that when babies play with their food they are in fact playing with their excrement. Babies don't have any concept of social norms or humiliation or even personal hygiene, so if they wanted to play with their shit they'd do so and wouldn't resort to simulations of the act. I mean, they shit and piss wherever they happen to be at that particular moment. I'm surprised Anna's pappy didn't punch her in her tooth-studded twat for that one.

I've never had any anxieties about having my meat torn off by teeth or whathaveyou, but ever since I heard a shitty "three Paddy's" joke about a razor blade being placed inside a woman's twat (resulting in two split cocks and a split tongue) I get a momentary flash of it happening to me every time I think of pussy. And I heard that joke when I was about 7, so that's a lot of reassuring cock squeezes I've given myself over the years. The "Kids in a Sandbox" video didn't help matters, either (don't Google it).
 
Old 2009-11-01, 01:39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeYngVai
Anybody have some crazy plans for halloween?

I'm sitting here drinking straight Scotch and making some calls, waiting for a party to get started

Happy Halloween cunts!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
How's the training going? Is there a rudimentary first aid course included in it? I often wonder if prison guards know about that shit, or if they just leave you there in a pool of your own juices until a paramedic comes haha.

EDIT: Am I the only one experiencing an intermittent database error today?

Haha, they do teach first aid. Well, at least here they do. I'm not too sure about the US.

I've been getting the error too. Yesterday and today. Don't worry, it's not caused by a virus you picked up from filthy midget websites
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Chances are there have been Irish in every corner of the world, no matter how remote. Our semen is listed in the World Health Organisation's Big Book of Pestilential Materials.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
God, the Japanese are so weird. This HAS to be the long term effects of the atom bombs. No one is that weird on purpose.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gomli
The slams in that song always kill me. First time I heard that song I was like "Too much heaviness - brain collapse" but now I could murder my family to that one

Last edited by blitz906 : 2009-11-01 at 01:42.
 
Old 2009-11-01, 05:28
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Fuck im drunk..pics tommorrow whores!
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“Remember to live, eat, sleep and breathe music for the mind, play from your heart and never be swayed by the current trends.” ~Rusty Cooley
 
Old 2009-11-01, 09:15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pr0az
Fuck im drunk..pics tommorrow whores!

haha
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Old 2009-11-01, 09:24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dystopia
haha


Fuck you, your ava is more digusting than mine

MetalTabs was down for 2 days for me. And Helloween was so fucking boring. On friday I was at a birthday party and yeah. That`s it. booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooring
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C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
Pour ces bois obscurs maintenant endormis.


R.I.P moe
 
Old 2009-11-01, 11:14
Paddy
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Thank fuck that shit's done for another year. Fuckin' mini-beggars.
 
Old 2009-11-01, 12:12
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I almost drank a whole 26 ounce bottle of Scotch tonight (over a period of ten hours) and I only got slightly drunk. What the hell is wrong with me?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Chances are there have been Irish in every corner of the world, no matter how remote. Our semen is listed in the World Health Organisation's Big Book of Pestilential Materials.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
God, the Japanese are so weird. This HAS to be the long term effects of the atom bombs. No one is that weird on purpose.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gomli
The slams in that song always kill me. First time I heard that song I was like "Too much heaviness - brain collapse" but now I could murder my family to that one
 
Old 2009-11-01, 13:35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blitz906
(over a period of ten hours)


Do that again in 30mins and tell me afterwards
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C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
Pour ces bois obscurs maintenant endormis.


R.I.P moe
 
Old 2009-11-01, 13:35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blitz906
I almost drank a whole 26 ounce bottle of Scotch tonight (over a period of ten hours) and I only got slightly drunk. What the hell is wrong with me?



I drank a whole bottle of Highland Park 12 year in 3 hours on an empty stomach. I was still walking and not puking.
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
"Ja mein little poodle, I will hang you by your nipples in my garage,
 
Old 2009-11-01, 14:08
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MetalThrashingMad


I drank a whole bottle of Highland Park 12 year in 3 hours on an empty stomach. I was still walking and not puking.

Haha wow, now that's what I call a tolerance!

I must be getting a better tolerance, because a 26 ounce bottle used to fuck my head. I wasn't even able to get pissed tonight, just buzzed.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Chances are there have been Irish in every corner of the world, no matter how remote. Our semen is listed in the World Health Organisation's Big Book of Pestilential Materials.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
God, the Japanese are so weird. This HAS to be the long term effects of the atom bombs. No one is that weird on purpose.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gomli
The slams in that song always kill me. First time I heard that song I was like "Too much heaviness - brain collapse" but now I could murder my family to that one
 
Old 2009-11-01, 14:44
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Might I add I had the worst hangover the next day that I had in years. The headache felt like heat stroke.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
"Ja mein little poodle, I will hang you by your nipples in my garage,
 
Old 2009-11-01, 16:18
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Paddy, actually this week we'll be doing first aid, cpr, and basic defensive tactics. The first two weeks were just classroom shit with policies and procedures and shit. Next week we'll be doing weapons training, chemical munitions, and EBID (electronic body immobilizer device) certification. which means, we shoot guns, get hit with a handheld stungun and a stunshield, and we are forced to inhale CS gas haha. should be fun
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Quote:
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I don't know about you, but I deadlift because I strive to be the first human tree stump pulling machine


Quote:
Originally Posted by viewer_from_nihil
the song serial cocksucker changed my life


Quote:
Originally Posted by BassBehemoth
Are you going to snort cheap pharmaceutical drugs with your lizard as well?
 
Old 2009-11-01, 16:53
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It's all about context, in addition to tolerance. If you drink a bottle of whisky in a half hour on an empty stomach, you'll be fucked almost regardless of your tolerance (this happened to me last Monday night, though I'd had a half dozen pints first. Then I drank a bottle of wine and lost my wallet. I got it back, though. It was not really a fun night).

If you stretch it out over a few hours, your liver will have time to process some of it (though not much). If you stretch it out over ten hours, then that 26 ounce bottle is having the approximate effect of a 13-14 ounce bottle due to the speed at which your liver processes alcohol.

I should mention, also, that having food in your stomach doesn't mitigate the effects of alcohol, but rather delays the alcohol being absorbed into your blood stream. You'll still get the same amount of alcohol in your blood stream, just not as immediately. Whether this makes things better or worse depends on the situation.
 
Old 2009-11-01, 17:47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TruthDevoid
get hit with a handheld stungun and a stunshield, and we are forced to inhale CS gas haha. should be fun


d00d if you`re still alive after this you`re my new hero! Hahaha that`s so goddamnish pure deathmetal
Do you need this to get "immunised" to CS?
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C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
Pour ces bois obscurs maintenant endormis.


R.I.P moe
 
Old 2009-11-01, 23:49
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Went to HARDfest... raves are fun

If you haven't been to one there are some ways to guarantee a great time:
- E
- Water
- Girl
- Friends

Didn't feel like Halloween but it was the best one I've had
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PST 88
The bottom of that 'Don't Click' picture is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. 'No, I really DO have a vagina! It's right here!'


Blackwater (Friend's Metal Band)
MY WEBSITE!


R.I.P Paddy. My dear and loving father will never be forgotten.
 
Old 2009-11-02, 00:35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeYngVai
Went to HARDfest... raves are fun

If you haven't been to one there are some ways to guarantee a great time:
- E
- Water
- Girl
- Friends

Didn't feel like Halloween but it was the best one I've had


Leave out the E and its a party for me all the way daddy!
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“Remember to live, eat, sleep and breathe music for the mind, play from your heart and never be swayed by the current trends.” ~Rusty Cooley
 
Old 2009-11-02, 03:01
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Raves would be awesome even without drugs man... that's why people do drugs there!

Except right when we stepped onto the outside stage there was this totally motionless guy being wheeled away to an ambulance with his arms bandaged up. Interesting introduction to my first rave.

There was also this other chick who looked like she had been crying that was being wheeled away, which just looked like way too much ecstasy... girls go nuts with that shit and throw up everywhere, but most of the time they're fine afterward.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by PST 88
The bottom of that 'Don't Click' picture is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. 'No, I really DO have a vagina! It's right here!'


Blackwater (Friend's Metal Band)
MY WEBSITE!


R.I.P Paddy. My dear and loving father will never be forgotten.
 
Old 2009-11-02, 04:26
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Me and my guitarist dressed up in corpsepaint and were gonna run around in the woods, but it got too dark. HAHA!
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DETH TOLL!!!

Keep checking for new crap.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
 
Old 2009-11-02, 05:22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gomli
Fuck you, your ava is more digusting than mine

MetalTabs was down for 2 days for me. And Helloween was so fucking boring. On friday I was at a birthday party and yeah. That`s it. booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooring

dude w/e
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Old 2009-11-02, 08:59
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Def
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Page 2

AND I'M THE FIRST TO SAY CUNT!???

WTF?!
 
Old 2009-11-02, 09:01
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PST 88

I should mention, also, that having food in your stomach doesn't mitigate the effects of alcohol, but rather delays the alcohol being absorbed into your blood stream. You'll still get the same amount of alcohol in your blood stream, just not as immediately. Whether this makes things better or worse depends on the situation.


True that.

When drinking on a full stomach the buzz can hit you like a train that you didn't see coming down the tracks.
 
Old 2009-11-02, 10:25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
Me and my guitarist dressed up in corpsepaint and were gonna run around in the woods, but it got too dark. HAHA!

Haha, you are not tr00 kvlt!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Def
Page 2

AND I'M THE FIRST TO SAY CUNT!???

WTF?!

Holy shit, I didn't even notice that
Quote:
Originally Posted by Def
True that.

When drinking on a full stomach the buzz can hit you like a train that you didn't see coming down the tracks.

Haha, I've had that happen a few times. I'd be pounding back drink after drink wondering why it's taking so long... then ten minutes later *BANG*
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Chances are there have been Irish in every corner of the world, no matter how remote. Our semen is listed in the World Health Organisation's Big Book of Pestilential Materials.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
God, the Japanese are so weird. This HAS to be the long term effects of the atom bombs. No one is that weird on purpose.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gomli
The slams in that song always kill me. First time I heard that song I was like "Too much heaviness - brain collapse" but now I could murder my family to that one
 
Old 2009-11-02, 10:34
Paddy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Def
Page 2

AND I'M THE FIRST TO SAY CUNT!???

WTF?!
Sorry chief, check the third post of the thread.

I suddenly feel empty.
 
Old 2009-11-02, 10:49
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gomli
d00d if you`re still alive after this you`re my new hero! Hahaha that`s so goddamnish pure deathmetal
Do you need this to get "immunised" to CS?


immunized? no, to be certified to use it, you must experience it. That way you know what you're giving out, and if your mask gets knocked off, you don't panic. you know what to expect.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetalThrashingMad
I don't know about you, but I deadlift because I strive to be the first human tree stump pulling machine


Quote:
Originally Posted by viewer_from_nihil
the song serial cocksucker changed my life


Quote:
Originally Posted by BassBehemoth
Are you going to snort cheap pharmaceutical drugs with your lizard as well?
 
Old 2009-11-02, 12:14
Def's Avatar
Def
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Sorry chief, check the third post of the thread.

I suddenly feel empty.


Ah, I missed that.

Well, good job Paddy, we can always rely on the Irish to say cunt huh!
 
Old 2009-11-02, 13:52
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeYngVai
Raves would be awesome even without drugs man... that's why people do drugs there!

Except right when we stepped onto the outside stage there was this totally motionless guy being wheeled away to an ambulance with his arms bandaged up. Interesting introduction to my first rave.

There was also this other chick who looked like she had been crying that was being wheeled away, which just looked like way too much ecstasy... girls go nuts with that shit and throw up everywhere, but most of the time they're fine afterward.


Raves still exist? Thought that shit went out like disco.

I went to a few in the mid-90's. Everyone I ever got to know from that time who seemed like regulars of that scene were either fiends, wingnuts or wannabe thugs and none of them ended up well in life.
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I fought for world titles in boxing, karate, I fought bar wars, street corners, most everything living and half the stuff dead,ain’t nobody bad, I know, I looked.......
 
Old 2009-11-02, 14:56
Paddy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Def
Ah, I missed that.

Well, good job Paddy, we can always rely on the Irish to say cunt huh!


You can also rely on us to be obscurantist potato fuckers.
 
Old 2009-11-02, 15:27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy


You can also rely on us to be obscurantist potato fuckers.



Ok so is the stereotype true? You guys love the potato?
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Old 2009-11-02, 17:26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pr0az
You guys love the potato?


Who doesn`t?
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Old 2009-11-02, 18:02
Paddy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pr0az
Ok so is the stereotype true? You guys love the potato?
No, the potato loves us! In the ass and mouth and around the back of the balls! The sex shops here sell potato costumes for uncles to wear on the potato harvest festival night when the kiddies are asleep and have placed chips under their pillow for the potato fairy to replace with coconut hairs. Then the uncles starch their nephews' faces to impregnate their lips with potato wisdom.

Everything I just said is 100% true and you're a complete and total cunt if you don't believe me.
 
Old 2009-11-02, 19:24
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drawn&quartered
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
No, the potato loves us! In the ass and mouth and around the back of the balls! The sex shops here sell potato costumes for uncles to wear on the potato harvest festival night when the kiddies are asleep and have placed chips under their pillow for the potato fairy to replace with coconut hairs. Then the uncles starch their nephews' faces to impregnate their lips with potato wisdom.

Everything I just said is 100% true and you're a complete and total cunt if you don't believe me.

I believe you, except you need to admit the love goes two ways.
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Old 2009-11-02, 19:56
Paddy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drawn&quartered
I believe you, except you need to admit the love goes two ways.
That was true up until Irish law banned the creation of genetically modified mutant two-way love-spuds because, besides the problem of people missing a lot of work by calling in sick so they could spend all day at home with their fat wives fucking potatoes, too many people were misidentifying these spuds as their long lost relatives, what with their potatoy faces and extra protruding foreheads and multiple eyes and such. So now we just make do with standard two-way dildos greased with warm chip fat. And ass-milk.

Does anyone remember www.assmilkdrinkers.com? I'm not even sure if it's still up (I'm not fuckin' checking), but I seem to remember that it was the "Rick Rolling" website of the late nineties, along with goatse and friends. It's funny, I know that these websites are genuine and aren't just there to gross out the general public but instead intend to satisfy the desires of a certain discerning demographic, and as such I often wonder what it feels like to frequent a site where you know you'll get your rocks off but where everyone else goes to induce vomiting in their gullible friends. It can't be good for your self esteem.

That was nearly a sentence.

Last edited by Paddy : 2009-11-08 at 20:21. Reason: Typo
 
Old 2009-11-02, 20:38
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Its not up. Funny, I dont remember that one, but I guess 9 or so years ago I was busy goatseing my friends on AoL messanger (piece of shit) and browsing ebaum's world. My favorite link to send to people was hai2u.com. There was a kid who didn't seem to mind that but would not shut up about how disgusting lemon party was.
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Old 2009-11-02, 21:20
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I've avoided clicking on two links in a row on metaltabs. I really did it. Didn't, I mean. What's happening to me?

Well Paddy, I can't answer your question, but it just struck me that that piece of demographic might hold the key to finding common ground between creationists and, well, let's face it, people who think. Think about it. We want to explain the abundance and and variety of life using science and the principles of evolution, they want to explain it using whatever magic sky daddy suits them. However, both of us really should be able to feel the same ear burning, red hot embarrasment when faced with having to explain a person who takes a Mary Fivefinger and shots a load while watching a kitten being trampled to death by some bitch in high heels. Or a girl getting drilled by a horse. Or two girls and so on. Or goatse. Or assmilkdrinkers. Oh fuck, I'll stop right here, gotta get to a toilet before I spray the keyboard. It's probably Freduian.
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Old 2009-11-02, 21:57
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
I've avoided clicking on two links in a row on metaltabs. I really did it. Didn't, I mean. What's happening to me?


haha and both of Paddy's links were totally harmless for once.
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The bottom of that 'Don't Click' picture is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. 'No, I really DO have a vagina! It's right here!'


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Old 2009-11-02, 22:49
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Is it just me or am I the only one completely unaffected by disgusting shit? Maybe after all these years of internet browsing it would make sense?
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Old 2009-11-02, 22:59
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I understand people who are immune to all that, but I'm not one of them. I won't throw up or anything, but sometimes they can be a bit shocking.

I do enjoy the links that are so disgusting you can't help but laugh, though. It's the sad/gory stuff that is a bit much for me.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PST 88
The bottom of that 'Don't Click' picture is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. 'No, I really DO have a vagina! It's right here!'


Blackwater (Friend's Metal Band)
MY WEBSITE!


R.I.P Paddy. My dear and loving father will never be forgotten.
 
Old 2009-11-02, 23:51
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Does anyone remember www.assmilkdrinkers.com? I'm not even sure if it's still up (I'm not fuckin' checking), but I seem to remember that it was the "Rick Rolling" website of the late nineties, along with goatse and friends. It's funny, I know that these websites are genuine and aren't just there to gross out the general public but instead intend to satisfy the desires of a certain discerning demographic, and as such I often wonder what it feels like to frequent a site where you know you'll get your rocks off but where everyone else goes to induce vomiting in their gullible friends. It can't be good for your self esteem.

That was nearly a sentence.

Are you talking about asssmoothie.com? I'm far too sick and lazy to make up some excuse for knowing the actual address, I just have three words - SITE RIP TORRENT. In all seriousness, I've actually seen a couple of these. As much as I like seeing girls put things in their ass, taking them back out, and putting them into their mouth, the whole notion of that object being a FLUID SMOOTHIE is far too abstract to read as being sexual. Instead, it reads as some bizarre, quasi-artistic attempt to search desperately for some strange, disgusting thing that hasn't been done before simply because it hasn't been done before.

If it were a cock, finger, or toy, I could definitely fap. Especially if it were MY cock. My cock is fucking beautiful.
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Old 2009-11-03, 05:13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Rezendes
Are you talking about asssmoothie.com? I'm far too sick and lazy to make up some excuse for knowing the actual address, I just have three words - SITE RIP TORRENT. In all seriousness, I've actually seen a couple of these. As much as I like seeing girls put things in their ass, taking them back out, and putting them into their mouth, the whole notion of that object being a FLUID SMOOTHIE is far too abstract to read as being sexual. Instead, it reads as some bizarre, quasi-artistic attempt to search desperately for some strange, disgusting thing that hasn't been done before simply because it hasn't been done before.

If it were a cock, finger, or toy, I could definitely fap. Especially if it were MY cock. My cock is fucking beautiful.

What if the bitch cut your nuts off?
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Old 2009-11-03, 07:38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeYngVai
but seriously just go back


NO
PLEASE DON'T
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Old 2009-11-03, 07:55
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Sup Wolf

Read your shit but didn't really read it because I'm drunk. Will read tomorrow. Looks like I'm really thankful for not getting it.

Speaking of drunk and not getting it...

You know what I can't fucking stand? People misusing the word "belligerent". I just can't let that shit go, regardless of how cute the women is. I'm no word smith, trust me, but I see the misuse of this word CONSTANTLY. Being really belligerent does not mean being really drunk. Correcting this error works best in the bedroom, which it has. I win. I win. I WIN!
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Last edited by Darko : 2009-11-03 at 08:06.
 
Old 2009-11-03, 11:03
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i can honestly say i've never heard anyone misuse the word "belligerent", but i swear i hear people misuse the word "ignorant" on a daily basis.
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Quote:
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the song serial cocksucker changed my life


Quote:
Originally Posted by BassBehemoth
Are you going to snort cheap pharmaceutical drugs with your lizard as well?
 
Old 2009-11-03, 11:51
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TruthDevoid
i can honestly say i've never heard anyone misuse the word "belligerent", but i swear i hear people misuse the word "ignorant" on a daily basis.


On an average, statistic basis, I can hardly see how that is possible.
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Listening to Cannibal Corpse and cutting trees with a chainsaw, now that's metal

"He preferred the hard truth over his dearest illusion. That, is the heart of science."
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"Imagination is more important than intelligence" - Einstein
 
Old 2009-11-03, 12:34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TruthDevoid
i can honestly say i've never heard anyone misuse the word "belligerent", but i swear i hear people misuse the word "ignorant" on a daily basis.



I just love how most people think everyone is ignorant but themselves. Personally, I think ignorance is awesome.
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Old 2009-11-03, 13:26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drawn&quartered


Send to all friends

Quote:
Originally Posted by D&Q
Personally, I think ignorance is awesome

Please explain. I can`t get more than 2 positive points out of ignorance.
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C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
Pour ces bois obscurs maintenant endormis.


R.I.P moe
 
Old 2009-11-03, 14:37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dystopia
What if the bitch cut your nuts off?
First of all, you shouldn't refer to women as "bitches", that's misogynistic. Didn't your mother teach you anything?

Second, she'd have a hard time trying to find a blade of any kind capable of cutting through my titanium coated steel vas deferens. Realistically, your mom would break the blades on my scrote and I'd just laugh like a pirate and all that time you'd spent waiting in the closet with a camcorder and a tube of Jergens would have been for naught.
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Old 2009-11-03, 15:14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drawn&quartered
I just love how most people think everyone is ignorant but themselves. Personally, I think ignorance is awesome.

How do you know?

Amadeus, step away from Paddy. I had to double check to make sure he didn't post that!
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-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
 
Old 2009-11-03, 16:26
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People who tend to misuse 'belligerent' do so in the following phrase: 'belligerent drunk.' Because people will use belligerent, correctly, to describe somebody who becomes violent or argumentative when very drunk (e.g. 'dude got belligerent drunk'), and for some reason think that the level of drunkenness is what's described by the word. I believe that's the phenomenon to which the Lord Dyldonic is referring, though I may be wrong.

I try not to correct anybody's usage anymore. In New York it's not worth bothering, and some people will take serious offense. And, perhaps, become belligerent.

I tried to cut off Chris's sac once. It came off, but it grew back stronger. I still have the old one in my trophy case, right next to Dyldo's anal virginity and mtv_is_gay's dignity.
 
Old 2009-11-03, 16:49
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^^ Exactly.

Confession: Richard wasn't my first. Don't tell him!
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Old 2009-11-03, 17:53
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I would have thought that the fact that I sandwiched your anal virginity between Chris's balls and mtv_is_gay's dignity would make it clear that this was a litany of objects that never existed, and therefore never were possessed by the person in question.

Just as Reznesnes's mom waited in vain for a day when his testicles would drop (the slut) and mtv_is_gay's mom had to resort to pills and booze to dull the pain of, well, having Dystopia as her progeny, your mother was informed by her obstetrician immediately after delivery that you arrived with a freakish lack of anal virginity. This lined up with various ancient prophesies of the Chosen One, whose anus would single-handedly resurrect the economy in its darkest hour of need, and a future in gay porn was suggested. But no, you had to give it all away for free, like a filthy little Communist.

And that's why I refuse to fuck Dyldo in the ass anymore.
 
Old 2009-11-03, 18:48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
How do you know?

Amadeus, step away from Paddy. I had to double check to make sure he didn't post that!


What, that I should step away from him? Can't do that. I intend to castrate him and use as a tenor in my choir. Think that's cruel? I'm intending to force the basses to wear white linen, glitter in the hair and a golden card board star on a stick on a gig in a few weeks. Paddy, your aspirations to galactic dominance in sadism is hereby declared an automatic fail.
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Listening to Cannibal Corpse and cutting trees with a chainsaw, now that's metal

"He preferred the hard truth over his dearest illusion. That, is the heart of science."
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"Imagination is more important than intelligence" - Einstein
 
Old 2009-11-03, 19:30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Rezendes
First of all, you shouldn't refer to women as "bitches", that's misogynistic.

Well judging by most of his recent avatars, he does seem to be misogynistic... hence his love for the cock.
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9/23

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Please excuse me for I currently have a terminal erection, and the only cure is midget-cunny.
 
Old 2009-11-03, 19:38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PST 88

...

And that's why I refuse to fuck Dyldo in the ass anymore.


Hence the invention of the Jackson soloist.
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Old 2009-11-03, 19:47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
How do you know?



Just look at politics. Is there really only one way to run things? I'd say most people seem to believe that. Everyone is ignorant to some extent, and if someone said they aren't then I'm sure you can see the problem in that.
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Old 2009-11-03, 20:27
Paddy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
Paddy, your aspirations to galactic dominance in sadism is hereby declared an automatic fail.
Did you just throw down, son? Did I just get served?? OHHHHH SHIT, IT'S ONNNN!
 
Old 2009-11-03, 21:05
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Did you just throw down, son? Did I just get served?? OHHHHH SHIT, IT'S ONNNN!


Right, right, but no cheating - personally perpetrated acts only, no guilt by proxy such as using nauseating links.
So, we gonna turn this into some really twisted version of my-daddy's-stronger-than-your-thong-wearing-whippy-wooshy-giggolo-excuse-for-a-sperm-supplier or what?
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Listening to Cannibal Corpse and cutting trees with a chainsaw, now that's metal

"He preferred the hard truth over his dearest illusion. That, is the heart of science."
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Old 2009-11-04, 09:44
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Old 2009-11-04, 10:36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Def


Such a tragic waste. I propose a silent minute, to honor what has been lost.
__________________
Listening to Cannibal Corpse and cutting trees with a chainsaw, now that's metal

"He preferred the hard truth over his dearest illusion. That, is the heart of science."
- Carl Sagan

"Imagination is more important than intelligence" - Einstein
 
Old 2009-11-04, 14:23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Def


Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
And another from the silly russians collection : Mööööp

AUF GEHTS AB GEHTS JETZT GIBTS AUFS MAUL!
__________________
C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
Pour ces bois obscurs maintenant endormis.


R.I.P moe
 
Old 2009-11-04, 15:09
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Def

Haha. I saw that yesterday. It even made it to our local news
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gomli
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
And another from the silly russians collection : Mööööp

That could be water for all we know

Guy looks like Geddy Lee
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Quote:
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Chances are there have been Irish in every corner of the world, no matter how remote. Our semen is listed in the World Health Organisation's Big Book of Pestilential Materials.
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God, the Japanese are so weird. This HAS to be the long term effects of the atom bombs. No one is that weird on purpose.
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Originally Posted by Gomli
The slams in that song always kill me. First time I heard that song I was like "Too much heaviness - brain collapse" but now I could murder my family to that one
 
Old 2009-11-04, 15:58
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gomli
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
And another from the silly russians collection : Mööööp

AUF GEHTS AB GEHTS JETZT GIBTS AUFS MAUL!


Oh yes I've seen this before haha. One of my favs

Oh and guess what... I AM SICK AGAIN.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PST 88
The bottom of that 'Don't Click' picture is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. 'No, I really DO have a vagina! It's right here!'


Blackwater (Friend's Metal Band)
MY WEBSITE!


R.I.P Paddy. My dear and loving father will never be forgotten.
 
Old 2009-11-04, 16:05
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Quote:
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Such a tragic waste. I propose a silent minute, to honor what has been lost.


I've been quiet all day!
 
Old 2009-11-04, 16:38
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Colorado is going downhill. Pot is now legal in brekenrige, an ounce or under. Then again I think it has always been like that in Denver
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Old 2009-11-04, 18:14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeYngVai
Oh and guess what... I AM SICK AGAIN.


And I`m still sick. So how`s bad!?
__________________
C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
Pour ces bois obscurs maintenant endormis.


R.I.P moe
 
Old 2009-11-04, 19:37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drawn&quartered
Colorado is going downhill. Pot is now legal in brekenrige, an ounce or under. Then again I think it has always been like that in Denver


How is that going downhill? That's a major positive development. Prohibition, as proven with alcohol way back when, does not work and only gives more power to the criminals who sell it.

Has anyone seen the documentary film American Drug War: The Last White Hope? They show it on Showtime quite often. Its really well done with a loud-and-clear message supported by a very, very solid argument. Its great to see DEA agents, LAPD officers, ex-CIA agents, etc pouring out the ever increasing reasons and logic to legalize weed/drugs.
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Last edited by Darko : 2009-11-04 at 19:40.
 
Old 2009-11-04, 19:41
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drawn&quartered
Colorado is going downhill. Pot is now legal in brekenrige, an ounce or under. Then again I think it has always been like that in Denver


I wouldn't expect anyone on metaltabs to say that. Cool though, I'm kind of afraid of legalized pot myself. But I don't want to get bitched at by all the real metalheads here, so I will leave it at that.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Man oh man I'm in the mood for some meat right about now, so much so that I don't even care how implicitly gay this sentence is.

 
Old 2009-11-04, 20:05
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I dont see what being a metalhead has to do with smoking weed
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I don't know about you, but I deadlift because I strive to be the first human tree stump pulling machine


Quote:
Originally Posted by viewer_from_nihil
the song serial cocksucker changed my life


Quote:
Originally Posted by BassBehemoth
Are you going to snort cheap pharmaceutical drugs with your lizard as well?
 
Old 2009-11-04, 20:10
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drawn&quartered
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I used to smoke pot in high school quite a bit, but very rarely smoke it now. I'm not really too much against it, or against legalizing it. I don't think it should be openly legal and annonced to the public. That's when stupid shit will probably start happening.

not to mention high people are only tolerable when you are also high. personally I don't care for stoner culture that much either, having experienced it somewhat and just being around it. No offense to anyone here that is actually part of that instead of an occasional toker.
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Last edited by drawn&quartered : 2009-11-04 at 20:14.
 
Old 2009-11-04, 20:20
Requiem
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Fuck pot. We need legalized opiates and stimulates.
 
Old 2009-11-04, 20:27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darko
How is that going downhill? That's a major positive development. Prohibition, as proven with alcohol way back when, does not work and only gives more power to the criminals who sell it.

Has anyone seen the documentary film American Drug War: The Last White Hope? They show it on Showtime quite often. Its really well done with a loud-and-clear message supported by a very, very solid argument. Its great to see DEA agents, LAPD officers, ex-CIA agents, etc pouring out the ever increasing reasons and logic to legalize weed/drugs.


I'll have to second that, though it took me some time to come around to it. It's the same thing as with prostitution - the only effect of outlawing something that isn't a crime is creating criminals. Legalize it, make it respectable and let the proper authorities supervise it. Take back the initiative from the parasites of organized crime.
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Old 2009-11-04, 22:00
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Requiem
Fuck pot. We need legalized opiates and stimulates.


Pot? Yes. To the rest? No. Pot can be used as a calming effect on some people with physiological conditions, meaning it really doesn't effect people with mental conditions(It may mess with schizophrenia or anxiety disorders not sure) . But if stimulates could possibly be bought by anyone, such as people with undiagnosed bi-polar disorder, what a fun fucking time that would be. An enraged 10,000 pound amphetamine gorilla rampaging through the neighborhood.
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Old 2009-11-05, 03:45
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I don't see anything wrong with moderate smoking, heavy smoking can encourage someone into being a non-ambitious dumbass though. I definitely enjoy smoking every now and then, it's a nice calm and stress relieving thing for me. A lot less dangerous than drinking imo as well, in the safety aspect. The impaired coordination of being drunk limits a lot of activities whereas being high tends to mellow you out and heighten your senses. They both have pros and cons, i'm not trying to argue otherwise. I dunno how I would feel about legalization though, decriminalization is something that i'd be more in favor of.
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Old 2009-11-05, 07:22
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Dystopia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drawn&quartered
Colorado is going downhill. Pot is now legal in brekenrige, an ounce or under. Then again I think it has always been like that in Denver

I live in Colorado as well *google maps Breckenridge*

Fuck that's far.

On serious note, pot should be legalized with a few regulations. No smoking in public, unless it is a specifically designated herbal spot, like in the middle edge of a park or something, or in alleys, or in Starbucks.

The driving thing is a huge issue, because god forbid we turn into hypocrites who punish to death those who drink and drive but are one bit lenient towards dope cruizin'.

Another main issue, but the bigger one is coming up, is smell. Obviously if you are hardworkin doctor teach or cop or some shit and you don't smoke then you be offended if some wretched odor of an intoxicating plant enters in the middle of the night through your window from the next door neighbor, but this can totally be regulated by the citizens and neighbors with NO COPS!

Main issue, kids smokin' and fuckin' up in school. Especially the ones that are already corrupted with having already smoked a drag or a hit, they're stoned for the rest of their freaking lives!
But I have solutions for all of these. I just don't feel like typing them out right now for all you metalheads to see, cuz you guys are assholes.
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Old 2009-11-05, 09:06
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Originally Posted by Dystopia
But I have solutions for all of these.



Spoiler: (you don't)
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Old 2009-11-05, 12:45
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And I`m still sick. So how`s bad!?

Did you ever find out what was wrong with your stomach?
Quote:
Originally Posted by TruthDevoid
I dont see what being a metalhead has to do with smoking weed

Haha yeah that's what I was thinking. Isn't our stereotype drinking?
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Chances are there have been Irish in every corner of the world, no matter how remote. Our semen is listed in the World Health Organisation's Big Book of Pestilential Materials.
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Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
God, the Japanese are so weird. This HAS to be the long term effects of the atom bombs. No one is that weird on purpose.
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Originally Posted by Gomli
The slams in that song always kill me. First time I heard that song I was like "Too much heaviness - brain collapse" but now I could murder my family to that one
 
Old 2009-11-05, 13:42
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Actually, professionals in the field (of substance abuse and driving) consider driving while stoned on pot to be more dangerous than driving while drunk. The primary reason is that, at night, it takes much more time for your eyes to adjust to changes in the light level while on pot than on any other drug, which means that a stoned driver might be driving for as long as two minutes without being able to see the road properly at night.

So driving actually is a pretty big issue. Pot should definitely be decriminalized, though. If it were legalized the government could actually make money off of it, too, so it really makes more sense to have it legal. Goddamn Bill Clinton.

All that said, I don't enjoy using pot. But there's really no good reason it should be illegal these days.
 
Old 2009-11-05, 13:52
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PST 88
All that said, I don't enjoy using pot. But there's really no good reason it should be illegal these days.

Yeah that's exactly how I feel. I don't use it, and don't need to use it, but if other people want to use it they should be allowed to. I have absolutely nothing against it because it isn't really harmful. I have plenty of friends who smoke weed on a regular basis, and it didn't make them want to get into heavy drugs, or turn them into criminals, or physically damage them in any way (that I know of anyways)

Weed is probably much safer to use in the long run than alcohol or cigarettes, but even so, I'd still take a stiff glass of whiskey and a cigarette over a joint any day
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Chances are there have been Irish in every corner of the world, no matter how remote. Our semen is listed in the World Health Organisation's Big Book of Pestilential Materials.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
God, the Japanese are so weird. This HAS to be the long term effects of the atom bombs. No one is that weird on purpose.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gomli
The slams in that song always kill me. First time I heard that song I was like "Too much heaviness - brain collapse" but now I could murder my family to that one
 
Old 2009-11-05, 14:15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dystopia
cuz you guys are assholes.


Want to lick us?

Quote:
Originally Posted by blitz906
Did you ever find out what was wrong with your stomach?


Nope. And I think I won`t find it out. It`s possible that my soul has something to do with it and actually it`s a psychosomatic problem.


Fuck I wrote my education class test yesterday and totally failed it. I mean normally I still know what I`m writing and even when I haven`t learned a single word I can always answer some questions. But this time I wrote 2 and a half sheets of pure shit. That will be my most failed test ever. Fuck yeah
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Old 2009-11-05, 15:49
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Just saved myself about 500 bucks. Made my day alright.
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So this Georgian Olympian runs into a bar

Aosoth - New album III out now on Agonia Recs
Epoch - bass, guitars, drums, MetaStasizing out asap
Asphixa - bass, demo out asap
Adustum - bass, guitars, full length out soon on XXXXXXXXXX recs

Quote:
Originally Posted by far_beyond_sane
Tetianblood? ... Well, 'Necrosemen' to you too. Twat.
 
Old 2009-11-05, 20:13
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L,B'XXX
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What did you do? Switch to Nationwide?

Someone make me some chicken soup. I think I've got a mild case of the flu or else last nights dinner gave me the screamin' meemees.

I heard about Breckenridge and goody for them. As far as someone saying it doesn't do anything bad to ya and that's paraphrasing, I'll let you know if my asthma morphs into COPD or my vocal chords end up being crap moreso in a couple years than they are now. I don't need anyone bitching to me about anything about the stuff. I smoked it longer than most of you have been alive. When you're a singer that prided themself on holding notes clearly for an eon of time and then you can barely hold it a couple measures before you warble and gasp for air you kinda wish that wasn't part of your life.
If I smell it now even in passing a car it catches my throat. I never smoked cigarettes, but those did it to me for a long time. Especially certain brands. But now if I'm in a check out line and there's a person around with smokey clothes it makes me almost nauseous. Burning leaves and campfires. Sometimes I can't handle those either. IT SUCKS!!!!!!!! I only smoked and drove once (creeper) and would never EVER do it after that. I like me too much. I've known other people that had no trouble driving after smoking, but I know I'm not one of them and wouldn't even venture it. That one time was a bad and really stupid move on my part. Someone else drove back from where I went. But anyways, that's the old lady's view on it.
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-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
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Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
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Old 2009-11-05, 20:56
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gomli
Want to lick us?



Nope. And I think I won`t find it out. It`s possible that my soul has something to do with it and actually it`s a psychosomatic problem.


Buddy had the same problem. He was real depressed, everyone kept telling him it was in his mind. Turned out he had kidney stones, massive ones. When the doctor finally found that he had them, they told him that if he had waited any longer that his blood would have become infected, leading to death.

But I am sorry your tummy hurts, when i get the bubble guts mine feels terrible.

Damn! I'm really seeing I have bad grammar every time I fucking post on here. Some of you have an excuse for yours(different native tongue) but damn I'm from America only one language and I can barely use it correctly at times.
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Last edited by Pr0az : 2009-11-05 at 20:58.
 
Old 2009-11-05, 21:29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Requiem
Fuck pot. We need legalized opiates and stimulates.


They are legal, Reqy.

Since we're on the topic of pot, I got a funny recent story: I very rarely smoke pot and when I do, its usually to either fap or fuck or to listen to music. Anyway, my best friend/drummer smokes a lot of ganja and it was his last night in town (he's moving to Colorado for 6ish months to finish his masters in Advanced Abandoning Great Bands Just As They Start To Get Publicity) so the night's intent was to get properly fucked. We were leaving the bar at around 2:30am when I decided that we need to smoke pot and offer to go do it at my parent's house because they'd be fast asleep. We do, and I end up getting way too high for comfort. We're all sitting around when all of the sudden.. "ring! ring! ring! ring!" goes the house phone. I get pretty confused/concerned as to why the house phone would be ringing at what is now around 3am buuut I forget about it as soon as I discover how handsome my foot's reflection was in the spoon on my floor.

Minutes later, the house phone rings again. It continues to ring through when all of the sudden I hear my mother's voice, very faintly. I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone only to see that I had, out of all the fucking numbers I could have pocket-dialed, dialed my parent's phone.. twice, and was hearing the answering machine. I'm thinking "holy shit!" followed by my mother's real voice saying: "Dylan? Are you home? Why did you just call the house ph - DYLAN DO I SMELL POT?! GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!"

For some stupid fucking stoned reason I think I can save myself by hiding and that my position hasn't been compromised yet so I shush my friends and dash to turn off the lights in my room. It didn't work, naturally, and my mom asked me again to come out and I had to explain to her why I had called the house, why my eyes were practically bleeding, why me and my friends are sitting together in my room in the dark, and how there was absolutely no weed involved whatsoever. I tried to convince her we were just very drunk but of course she didn't buy it. She ended up calling me retarded and to not smoke in the house.

FIN.
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Last edited by Darko : 2009-11-05 at 21:35.
 
Old 2009-11-06, 00:32
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hahaha that's great darko. I'm glad my parents never really had a problem with me smoking. They knew i smoked and just accepted it.
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the song serial cocksucker changed my life


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Originally Posted by BassBehemoth
Are you going to snort cheap pharmaceutical drugs with your lizard as well?
 
Old 2009-11-06, 01:21
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Darko, the only way you could have topped that was to say that she yelled at you, using your middle name, too, for having it when she didn't cuz your dad was jonesing for it.

<-<

>->
Ah, the tales I can't tell the grandkids.
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-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
 
Old 2009-11-06, 02:02
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I'm not sure that 'topping the story' would really require Dyldo's relationship with his mother being the same as yours with the bobpurgis. Personally I think he should have just jumped into his pool and sat at the bottom until his mom thought he'd drowned, but I guess there's no satisfactory way to get there from his room.

On the subject of whether or not pot is harmful to you: of course it is. Nothing that we designate as a 'drug' isn't. But that's really got nothing to do with whether or not it's legal. Alcohol's about as harmful a drug as there is, in terms of what it does to your body and in terms of how addictive it is (and, hell, in terms of how people act while on it), so it stands as a shining example of how little the detrimental effects of a drug have to do with is availability and legality.

And I'm very ashamed of Reqtum for saying there aren't legalized opiates and stimulants, especially since he claims to study pharmacology (or whatever it is he claims to have studied). That's some shameful shit, right there.
 
Old 2009-11-06, 02:59
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PST 88

And I'm very ashamed of Reqtum for saying there aren't legalized opiates and stimulants, especially since he claims to study pharmacology (or whatever it is he claims to have studied). That's some shameful shit, right there.


Think he meant more on the terms of everyone can buy them like cigs from the store.
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Old 2009-11-06, 03:10
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alcohol is as much of a drug and addictive as heroin or anything really. The only thing i can see to separate the two would be the % of users that get addicted and at what rate. I don't know too many people who used heroin recreationally that didn't end up as full-time addicts, but obviously there are a lot of people who drink that don't end up as full-time alcoholics, but the effects of their addiction can be, at the very least, equally detrimental, and honestly from seeing first-hand, alcohol addiction can be much, much worse.
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Old 2009-11-06, 13:14
Requiem
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I tried a brown and tan last night. It didn't come out either of those colors.
 
Old 2009-11-06, 14:41
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pr0az
Buddy had the same problem. He was real depressed, everyone kept telling him it was in his mind. Turned out he had kidney stones, massive ones. When the doctor finally found that he had them, they told him that if he had waited any longer that his blood would have become infected, leading to death.


OK sometimes my back hurts since I have this problems. But I can piss normal
About the depression: My friends and my family told me that I`m not the same person I used to be. Sometimes my whole passion to live is gone. Sounds fuckin emo but I have cried the first time in 3 years because of this fucked up problem. I mean I have almost lost 50 days of my life (including autumnholidays). I think I start playing Toss the Turtle again.
Monday = doctor visit again
Let`s hope the weekend won`t turn into hell on earth for me
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R.I.P moe
 
Old 2009-11-06, 21:59
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Requiem
I tried a brown and tan last night. It didn't come out either of those colors.

A brown and tan? Not a black and tan? And it matters what order you pour the beers in, and how gentle you are when doing it. You pour the ale first and then top off with the stout, poured slowly over the back of a tablespoon (or bar spoon if you're fancy), to avoid mixing the two colors. It should remain noticeably separated the whole way down.
 
Old 2009-11-06, 22:56
Requiem
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Yeah I meant brown -_-

I tried that but apparently my cup was too narrow. The spoon I couldn't pour the beer without have either a longer spoon of bigger cup.

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