MetalTabs.com - your source for Metal tabs
Home Forum What's New Submit a Tab FAQ Links Contact Us Link to Us


Go Back   MetalTabs.com Forum > Metal > Poetry Lyrical
User Name
Password


Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 2009-04-27, 16:23
Last Man Standing Last Man Standing is offline
New Blood
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 32
Genocide

Carnage is his strategy
To make a holocaust, his dreams
He will annihilate you

He wants to obliterate you
Your entire nation
Nation of you

It's genocide,genocide,genocide,...

It's deliberate
It's gonna be catastrophic
But you will exctinct
You will exctinct

It's genocide,genocide,genocide,...

Just a litlle something i wrote... Comment!!!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 2009-04-28, 01:19
Wolfsherz Wolfsherz is offline
Post-whore
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Antwerp
Posts: 1,472
Send a message via MSN to Wolfsherz
I assume you're talking about "THE" Holocaust. They didn't yet have a nation when that happened.
__________________
So this Georgian Olympian runs into a bar

Aosoth - New album III out now on Agonia Recs
Epoch - bass, guitars, drums, MetaStasizing out asap
Asphixa - bass, demo out asap
Adustum - bass, guitars, full length out soon on XXXXXXXXXX recs

Quote:
Originally Posted by far_beyond_sane
Tetianblood? ... Well, 'Necrosemen' to you too. Twat.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 2009-04-28, 08:47
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,880
Send a message via ICQ to L,B'XXX Send a message via AIM to L,B'XXX Send a message via Yahoo to L,B'XXX
Even if you're not being specific to an event whether it's fictional or fact it just doesn't have enough bones to make it stand on it's own. It needs a little more depth so it will make it memorable.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 2009-04-28, 09:37
Last Man Standing Last Man Standing is offline
New Blood
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 32
yes i agree with you L,B'XXX...now..bones..yeah...help me with those bones man...tell me what should i add or remove...help me make it memorable..thanx...
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 2009-04-28, 11:03
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,880
Send a message via ICQ to L,B'XXX Send a message via AIM to L,B'XXX Send a message via Yahoo to L,B'XXX
You have carnage as his strategy in the first stanza so you might describe how that will be done. In the second, obliteration of a nation. Why does he hate that so much? What does he hope to accomplish by making them extinct?
It's like bones are the spine of the piece and you've added a few ribs to it, but you're further adding muscle and tendon to it.
I hope that helps. If you come up with something be sure to post it and I'll look it over for ya along with everyone else.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 13:50.


========

Contact Us | Privacy Policy | Disclaimer
Copyright © 2001-2009 MetalTabs.com. All Rights Reserved.
Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.