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  #1  
Old 2008-03-14, 11:49
DarknessEnthroned DarknessEnthroned is offline
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The Black Magus

Some song lyrics i wrote a while ago. crit's?

The Black Magus

Gaze at the pages, speak the incantation,
The bones of the dead rise to life.
Unholy black fire consuming the pyres,
With newly spent lives grows his might

(Chorus)
His darksouled enchantments, the blackest of magics,
The souls of the dead heed his call.
In robes black as night, banishing the light,
Enthroned in the darkness he reigns
(End chorus)

Legions of death march at his back
Bloodlust aflame in their eyes
Eternal his evil, contempt for all life
His spirit, blacker than night

(Chorus)
His darksouled enchantments, the blackest of magics,
The souls of the dead heed his call.
In robes black as night, banishing the light,
He reigns over humanity’s fall
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  #2  
Old 2008-03-14, 12:11
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L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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Really focused on black, but worded so it didn't seem overdone. Loved the meter especially in the first 2 lines of the chorus. I could almost hear music with this one. Nice job.
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  #3  
Old 2008-03-16, 11:00
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moe_blunts moe_blunts is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DarknessEnthroned
In robes black as night, banishing the light



maybe take out the word 'the' but other than that, good job.
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  #4  
Old 2008-03-23, 20:06
DarknessEnthroned DarknessEnthroned is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moe_blunts
maybe take out the word 'the' but other than that, good job.

ya, i think i might change some of the wording.
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  #5  
Old 2008-08-20, 16:24
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Sufferend Sufferend is offline
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Great, man!!!!!
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  #6  
Old 2008-08-20, 16:34
Nemesis9 Nemesis9 is offline
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hmm, i'm actually not sure what to think about it. i definately prefere lyrics with more meaning / a message. anyhow, the words you chose and the meters are finde, so it's alright and probably realy good for people who like this kind of lyrics
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