2007-03-07, 14:47
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 1,816
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why did the dead baby fall out of the tree?
it was dead
Why did the second dead baby fall out of the tree?
it was stapled to the first
Why did the third dead baby fall out of the tree
peer pressure
how many ethiopians does it take to shingle a roof
depends on how thinly you slice them
whats the best thing about getting head from an ethiopian chick
you know she'll swallow
whats pink, red, shiny, and runs into walls
a baby with forks in its eyes
how many babies does it take to paint a house
depends how hard you throw them
how many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
2: one to screw in the lightbulb, the other to suck my dick
__________________
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Dahmers Fridge
In the US "fanny" is a word used to describe the ass or butt. Here in the UK "fanny" is a lady garden (vagina)
I was very bemused as a youngster watching the Golden Girls when Blanche said she was going to "spank her fanny" I had visions of a geriatric vertical bacon sandwich red and bruised from being disciplined!!!
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2007-03-07, 14:47
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Antwerp
Posts: 1,472
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Originally Posted by BassBehemoth
What would you call The Flintstones if they were black?
Niggers.
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What do you call a nigger priest
Holy shit.
What do Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder have in common?
They're both niggers.
Why can't Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder read?
They're both niggers.
In a hospital serving victims of land mines, a little girl wakes up from surgery.
Little Girl: Doctor, something is wrong... I can't feel my legs!
Doctor: Yes, we've had to amputate both your arms.
AHAHAHAAHAHA OSHIT.
AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.
__________________
So this Georgian Olympian runs into a bar
Aosoth - New album III out now on Agonia Recs
Epoch - bass, guitars, drums, MetaStasizing out asap
Asphixa - bass, demo out asap
Adustum - bass, guitars, full length out soon on XXXXXXXXXX recs
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Originally Posted by far_beyond_sane
Tetianblood? ... Well, 'Necrosemen' to you too. Twat.
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Last edited by Wolfsherz : 2007-03-07 at 15:03.
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2007-03-07, 15:59
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Okay.
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 4,139
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Originally Posted by JAMF
Dead baby jokes are old.
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Yeah man, most dead baby jokes are so old and aren't even creative, here are some more Jew jokes...
What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew?
Pizza's don't scream in the oven.
Why did Hitler really commit suicide?
He saw the gas bill.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Paddy
Chances are there have been Irish in every corner of the world, no matter how remote. Our semen is listed in the World Health Organisation's Big Book of Pestilential Materials.
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Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
God, the Japanese are so weird. This HAS to be the long term effects of the atom bombs. No one is that weird on purpose.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Gomli
The slams in that song always kill me. First time I heard that song I was like "Too much heaviness - brain collapse" but now I could murder my family to that one
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2007-03-07, 17:27
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,004
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Why did the rooster cross the road?
He was late for his cock fight.
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
Keep checking for new crap.
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2007-03-07, 17:37
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Death to all but metal!
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Highway to the Danger Zone
Posts: 6,028
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Man and woman walk into an elevator.
Man says, "can I smell your feet?"
Woman says, "heavens no!"
Man says, "well, it must be your pussy then."
Oh snap 
__________________
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
"Ja mein little poodle, I will hang you by your nipples in my garage,
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2007-03-07, 17:38
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Death to all but metal!
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Highway to the Danger Zone
Posts: 6,028
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
What do you do after having sex?
Cover her up and hand her her stuffed Care Bear.
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Hahaha!!
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
"Ja mein little poodle, I will hang you by your nipples in my garage,
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2007-03-07, 19:33
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Too _____, wouldn't fuck
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,511
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What happens when a Jewish kid with an erection runs into a wall?
His nose breaks
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2007-03-07, 21:44
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Okay.
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 4,139
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What's the biggest turn off when having sex with a 5 year old girl?
Hearing the pelvis crack.
__________________
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Paddy
Chances are there have been Irish in every corner of the world, no matter how remote. Our semen is listed in the World Health Organisation's Big Book of Pestilential Materials.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
God, the Japanese are so weird. This HAS to be the long term effects of the atom bombs. No one is that weird on purpose.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Gomli
The slams in that song always kill me. First time I heard that song I was like "Too much heaviness - brain collapse" but now I could murder my family to that one
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2007-03-07, 22:26
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 1,816
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whats the difference between a priest and acne?
acne comes on your face AFTER you're 12.
__________________
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Dahmers Fridge
In the US "fanny" is a word used to describe the ass or butt. Here in the UK "fanny" is a lady garden (vagina)
I was very bemused as a youngster watching the Golden Girls when Blanche said she was going to "spank her fanny" I had visions of a geriatric vertical bacon sandwich red and bruised from being disciplined!!!
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2007-03-07, 22:28
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,004
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In this world, there are very horny kids who practice the art of autoerotic asphyxiation (sp?), a good amount of them failing to do it properly and end up killing themselves. What good use can be made from their bodies?
.... HORSESHOES!
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
Keep checking for new crap.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2007-03-07, 22:31
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 1,816
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why don't people eat black jellybeans?
Everybody hates the niggers!
__________________
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Dahmers Fridge
In the US "fanny" is a word used to describe the ass or butt. Here in the UK "fanny" is a lady garden (vagina)
I was very bemused as a youngster watching the Golden Girls when Blanche said she was going to "spank her fanny" I had visions of a geriatric vertical bacon sandwich red and bruised from being disciplined!!!
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2007-03-07, 23:40
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Okay.
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 4,139
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
In this world, there are very horny kids who practice the art of autoerotic asphyxiation (sp?), a good amount of them failing to do it properly and end up killing themselves. What good use can be made from their bodies?
.... HORSESHOES!
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Erm... I don't get it, that sucks man 
__________________
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Paddy
Chances are there have been Irish in every corner of the world, no matter how remote. Our semen is listed in the World Health Organisation's Big Book of Pestilential Materials.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
God, the Japanese are so weird. This HAS to be the long term effects of the atom bombs. No one is that weird on purpose.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Gomli
The slams in that song always kill me. First time I heard that song I was like "Too much heaviness - brain collapse" but now I could murder my family to that one
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2007-03-07, 23:44
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,916
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Michael Jackson's writing a new book called "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"....
__________________
“Remember to live, eat, sleep and breathe music for the mind, play from your heart and never be swayed by the current trends.” ~Rusty Cooley
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2007-03-07, 23:48
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Attorney at Bird Law
Forum Leader
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: Alone here, with emptiness, eagles, and snow...
Posts: 3,556
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by JAMF
Dead baby jokes are old.
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...and incredibly lame. Here's a good one, though.
Why did the nigger cross the road?
To get to the other side!
__________________
Trust in god, he'll give you shoes!
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2007-03-07, 23:58
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Lo, they do call to me...
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: virginia beach, VA
Posts: 2,209
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whats the difference between a jew and a canoe?
every so often a canoe tips.
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Too grim to function
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2007-03-08, 01:06
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,004
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by blitz906
Erm... I don't get it, that sucks man |
Autoerotic asphyxiation (I'm spelling it wrong, sorry) is where you cut off your air supply right before you orgasm. So the guy doing it would most likely have an erection, and it's known that an erection can last hours after death. Didn't you watch Clerks?
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
Keep checking for new crap.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2007-03-08, 01:07
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Supreme Metalhead
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Sault, MI
Posts: 856
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How do you save a nigger from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
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"I think we're already 'circling the drain' as a species, and I'd love to see the circles get a little faster and a little shorter."
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2007-03-08, 01:08
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,004
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A priest and a rabbi are walking down a street when they see a little boy.
The priest says, "Let's fuck him!"
Rabbi goes, "Out of what?"
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
Keep checking for new crap.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2007-03-08, 02:11
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 323
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by blitz906
What's the biggest turn off when having sex with a 5 year old girl?
Hearing the pelvis crack.
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Nah-uh.
What's the most satisfying part of fucking a 3 year old?
Hearing the pelvis crack.
What do you get when a 5 year old climbs over a fence?
An erection
How do you make a baby cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock in it's teddy
What's the difference between a train carriage and a miscarriage?
You don't eat a train carriage
What's black, bloody and slides up a woman's leg?
A home-sick abortion |
2007-03-08, 03:28
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Jono
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Sydney
Posts: 2,761
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A man walked up to a horse and asked, why the long face?
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