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  #1  
Old 2006-05-26, 00:05
far_beyond_sane's Avatar
far_beyond_sane far_beyond_sane is offline
You gamma-minus fucktards
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I have discovered 'hardcore dancing'

That is to say, I have found out that it existed not half an hour ago.

Why did no-one tell me about this before?

It is quite simply the stupidest activity that I have ever had the misfortune to witness. It consists largely of flailing around like an epileptic fish out of water and popping the occasional roundhouse (which has precious little resemblance to Chuck Norris's). Bearing more than a passing similarity to a massive tantrum, it is apparently performed at hardcore shows, where it seems entirely appropriate.

Words cannot describe how gay it looks. But fuck it, I'm going to try anyway:

It is so gay that whole parts of the Amazon have been deforested to provide fuel wood necessary to process the polyvinyl required to make its pants.

It is so gay that after the Village People saw it the first time, they gave up showbiz and trying to catch AIDS, all married women called Linda and ate a lot of beef jerky.

It is so gay that when it was performed near the decomposing corpse of Johnny Cash that he rose from the dead and declared "The Man in Black is now the Zombie in Pink, darlings."

It is so gay that new thinktanks have been set up by concerned governments to come up with a phrase noticably gayer than "literally as gay as possible", so taxonomists will have a way of describing it without growing hair on their teeth.

Those of you who are still yet to grow hair on your pee-pee places will probably wonder which stone I have been living under for the last several years. Apparently this form of institutionalised autism is popular amongst the young cross-eyed baggy-clothed fraternity and has been for some time.

In my defence, you must remember that I am old. You young whippersnappers and your INCREDIBLY STUPID, RIDICULOUS SQUATHUMPING fads which make you look like MASSIVE BLUBBERY OVERGROWN CHILDREN take a while to permeate.

If anyone would like to defend the practice of 'hardcore dancing', step up now. Please.
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far_beyond_sane - contributing to the moral decay of your children since 1982

"It was some kind of evolutionary glitch, she figured; no different than the other unreasonable side effects of consciousness and emotion, like religion and rap music."
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  #2  
Old 2006-05-26, 00:18
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travI56669 travI56669 is offline
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Go on the coalition against hardcore dancing, they kick ass...
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  #3  
Old 2006-05-26, 00:20
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This brightened up my day tremendously.

I hope some one does try to defend it. It will certainly be interesting.
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  #4  
Old 2006-05-26, 00:39
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What is wearing tight black girl jeans and a bandana at a concert in the mall without hardcore dancing?
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  #5  
Old 2006-05-26, 00:40
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MoonRaven MoonRaven is offline
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DUDE, IT ISNT GHEY, ITS N EXPRESHUN OF TEH ANGST THAT HxC KIDS HAVE, CUS OF THEIR RICH PARENTS WHO DONT LOVE THEM
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  #6  
Old 2006-05-26, 00:48
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far_beyond_sane far_beyond_sane is offline
You gamma-minus fucktards
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Quote:
Originally Posted by travI56669
Go on the coalition against hardcore dancing, they kick ass...


For some reason, I took your suggestion. One of the writers is called Gooch.

Hmm.
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far_beyond_sane - contributing to the moral decay of your children since 1982

"It was some kind of evolutionary glitch, she figured; no different than the other unreasonable side effects of consciousness and emotion, like religion and rap music."
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  #7  
Old 2006-05-26, 00:49
Doktorskell Doktorskell is offline
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The "Hardcore" scene today with its dancing and haircuts is the most amazingly stupid trend to ever surface on this planet.

I find it difficult to believe the people who engage in this scene/dresscode actually think they look cool
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  #8  
Old 2006-05-26, 00:57
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problematic problematic is offline
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I don't listen to hardcore but is it really MUCH dumber than standing around nodding heads, and some idiot swinging his arms in the centre of a circle?

meh.

Te point is theyre having fun. I've never seen hardcore dancing but have a good idea of what it would look like. Meh.

FBS: bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch! WY R DEY K00LA DEN ME!
thats all I read.

But your metaphors are great, haha.
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  #9  
Old 2006-05-26, 01:01
PST 88 PST 88 is offline
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Some idiot swinging his arms is basically hardcore dancing. And those weren't really metaphors.
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  #10  
Old 2006-05-26, 01:01
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You always get the odd hxc dancer at a metal gig.
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  #11  
Old 2006-05-26, 01:08
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far_beyond_sane far_beyond_sane is offline
You gamma-minus fucktards
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You're a worry, child. I yell at you for posting random sludge and you get your little titties in a freedom-of-expression knot. Then, when I post something which admittedly might not be the translation to the Rosetta Stone, we get:

Quote:
Originally Posted by problematic
FBS: bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch! WY R DEY K00LA DEN ME!
thats all I read.


Anyway, you missed the part where I was fantastic. Go to the vet and get your eyes checked, and then wipe the skidmarks off your top lip.
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far_beyond_sane - contributing to the moral decay of your children since 1982

"It was some kind of evolutionary glitch, she figured; no different than the other unreasonable side effects of consciousness and emotion, like religion and rap music."
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  #12  
Old 2006-05-26, 01:17
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travI56669 travI56669 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by far_beyond_sane
For some reason, I took your suggestion. One of the writers is called Gooch.

Hmm.

They rule, Gooch is a great name!!
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  #13  
Old 2006-05-26, 01:42
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timedragon timedragon is offline
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yes, its stupid and gay

hell, its so gay that it needs a thread listing insanely random reasons as to why it is so gay.
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  #14  
Old 2006-05-26, 01:43
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Rapture Rapture is offline
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As least they mark themselves well as targets.
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  #15  
Old 2006-05-26, 01:47
walpurgis walpurgis is offline
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After reading this thread, I've decided it was time for me to stop hardcore dancing.
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  #16  
Old 2006-05-26, 02:25
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Cunty Shunt Cunty Shunt is offline
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Fuck this website isn't working, but I have a video you must see. Let me find it.
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Last edited by Cunty Shunt : 2006-05-26 at 02:36.
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  #17  
Old 2006-05-26, 03:53
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Quote:
Originally Posted by far_beyond_sane
For some reason, I took your suggestion. One of the writers is called Gooch.

Hmm.


yeah i discovered that website long ago and had a few chuckles and what they had to say
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Youve made me cry


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Metal Monkey: retarded comments galore.

RIP this guy
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  #18  
Old 2006-05-26, 03:56
far_beyond_sane's Avatar
far_beyond_sane far_beyond_sane is offline
You gamma-minus fucktards
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timedragon
yes, its stupid and gay

hell, its so gay that it needs a thread listing insanely random reasons as to why it is so gay.


Oh FUCK. Of course.

I owe you an apology, my man. You see, I keep forgetting things. Most importantly here, I have forgotten that you have never started any gay threads ever. You are right to criticise me.
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far_beyond_sane - contributing to the moral decay of your children since 1982

"It was some kind of evolutionary glitch, she figured; no different than the other unreasonable side effects of consciousness and emotion, like religion and rap music."
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  #19  
Old 2006-05-26, 06:44
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Dahmers Fridge Dahmers Fridge is offline
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Yes hardcore dancing is funny as fuck, but I've found something at gigs even gayer!!!!!

I shall explain.
The other day I went to see Down,
Down the band were fantastic, great gig, mayhaps a little too much Phil ego stroking at times but he is a good front man and damn fine singer, any how that ain't my point.
My beef is with those twats who go down the front holding aloft mobile phones trying to capture video footage???? They get stroppy because people knock in to them and the footage goes all wobbly It's a pit not a paparazzi parade! One stupid bum treacle licker was even getting angry because his phone had got damaged!!! Rule one of the pit..Don't take anything down the front you don't mind getting lost or damaged(that includes teeth and bones!! )

Some twat near me kept squatting down to tie his shoe laces up every 2 minutes causing huge pile ups on the floor as people went arseholing over him! Get out of the pit if you wish to adjust your clothing, either that or tuck your laces in or wear cheap sneakers you don't mind loosing should they come un-done!

And finally. Don't take your bird down the front if she can't hold her own! I see couples hugging and snogging down the front! WTF!!!! I've seen people get arsey because people are slamming in to their missus and they try to protect them! My advice, get a cheap room if you wanna make the beast with two backs not buy tickets for a metal gig!

That's me done, I'm chilled now
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  #20  
Old 2006-05-26, 07:08
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L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by far_beyond_sane
...In my defence, you must remember that I am old. ...


That just made my day.
I really think you slipped in that one though. Are you ill? It didn't seem to have the same pop that you usually have or maybe I'm just getting desensitized. Maybe you should hardcore dance with flailing phone books or bent metal in your grimey grip? Just a thought.

Dahmer--That was impressive! Sit down and drink a nice glass of water now.
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