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Old 2004-07-20, 19:02
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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"Star Shine"

Just a mellow little piece I wrote about a week ago.


" Star Shine "

A twinkle from afar found its' way to my eyes
The world spun and I glimpsed it again
I thought the star had burned out for all of time
But I see that it was merely in shadow
My eye to the telescopic view
Content to know some things are constant
And my disappointment is no more
It's funny how just a small thing can bring peace
And how variance can change a mood
So I'll write and maintain my vigil

BJH
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
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Old 2004-07-20, 19:14
bloodredthrone bloodredthrone is offline
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It reads like you talking, I guess it's well written, metaphors and all but I didn't really like it. It's actually just the last 3 lines that brought it down in my opinion. But good work.
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  #3  
Old 2004-07-20, 19:45
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L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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yeah, it is like me talking. And I'm not offended if you don't like it. But thanks for pointing out what you did .
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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