This is something Atif and I thought up. Heres the backround on it.

One day in 8th grade (i'm going into 11th), I was horny, and decided to look for my dad's porn. So I pick a drawer, and what do I find? DVDs. What else did I find?

*dramatic music*

A ziplock bag with a shitload of dildos. At LEAST 10.

Well, the 'rents don't know that I know about it. So our plan is to humiliate my parents and Atif and I want everyone in on it. I want your ideas on how I should do it. This will EASILY go down as the best thing metal tabs has ever, and ever WILL do.

Here are the rules:

1.) NO SPAM. IDEAS ONLY, NO COMMENTS. THAT IS WHAT THE RTTS ARE FOR

2.) Nothing disgusting.

3.) Be serious. Repeat #1.

So, lets here it!

Cheers

~Atif and Dissection.

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not only did he find dildos, he found other stuff, like lube and a shitload of dvds and vhs of porn. They don't like him looking at porn, but they themselves get freaky + nasty all the time with double-headed dildos and cheesy porno videos.


so my idea was, we collectively come up with a prank for Dissection to really humiliate his parents.
and Dissection has agreed to actually do it on his 17th birthday (on his 17th 'cause he'll have a car by then and he can getaway if need be)

Make this prank something thats actually Do-able. He's not gonna stick a lubed dildo in his dad's ass when he's sleeping, that's too gross. (even though that would be hilarious)

we'll vote on the best one (and btw, i don't agree on this being the best thing metaltabs has or ever will do )

here's my idea:
He takes the biggest dildo and walks around with it in his pants.
then when his mom asks what's going on, on how he has such a raging boner,and then he starts talking in Hebrew, and how he's finally a man! and then he dry bones his dad in the ear.

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if you have any really young cousins/siblings/freinds (as in 2 or so) these items can find their way into their hands

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duct tape them to yourself, and walk in on them while they are fucking, and jump in bed.
atifs idea is also very good

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Bake a Cake that says Surprise and put all the dildos in it. So when they start eating they find them...

Or tie them up with some string tape them to a ceiling in the kitchen during the night so when they wake up wala Kitchen full of dildos.

And with the lube spell 0wned on the wall lol.

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HAhahaah your dadys a faggot. The apple dosen'tfall far from the tree!@

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that and he plans on touching them

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I like this one the best so far.

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i was thinking hide them all around the house then act innocent

put one in a cereal box, one in the closet, shove one in the vcr, maybe give one to a pet as a chew toy

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Dust the dildos with super hot pepper powder

Better yet, mix it in the lube.

It will burn like hell, but is no health danger. At first, they may believe that the other has given them a STD, and so you know what that will imply The mood will be destroyed; the Berry White music and porn videos will be stoped. They will discover that the burn will stop shortly after a good bath. Soon they will think you boobie traped their toys. They might ask you... This is when you choke up some fake tears of disgust and disbelief about them telling you about their freaky sex lives.

That will teach your married 'rents to have sex... unless they like the burning

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Disgusting, but great.

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Soulinsanes idea is good, put tabasco sauce on all of them, or tooth paste... something that will burn. But than again... you do want them to know you did it right??

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when their sleeping super glue all the dildos to their face, i was going to say something about a cake to but carnivourus beat me to it

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Oh, I bet they will know, but thats the beauty of it. Do they blame him or was it a burgler that tainted there toys? They have to confront him with something they are not sure he knows anything about... their sex lives.

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If you have a dog and a garden it might be a good idea to bury the dildos in the garden. Gradually the dog will dig up the dildos and return them to your parents one-by-one and usually at the most embarrasing times (for example, during your birthday dinner/party when extended family will be there).

If you haven't got a dog or garden, I'll keep thinking...

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Fucking killer ideas!

hmmm... if there is enough vhs and dvd's make a castle and use the dildo's as towers? lol

or like.... say youre going to make them a romantic disnner, and put candles on the didlo's [bound with a bit of hot wax maybe] and use them as candle holders? hehe
mine are just dumb, but they are do-able!

just steal em and let em pay you back

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Tie a dildo to each blade of a ceiling fan so that the dildos swing outward a few inchs. Turn the ceiling fan on high and wait for them on notice their dildos flying through the air; it may take a few moments if the fan is fast enough... then get out of the house.

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hahahahaha what a mental image

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just leave them alone.
People have sex lives (yes even your parents).

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Trendkill, that ain't fun
i like Lord Soul's last idea
except, you should keep the fan on low so they're flying around at eye level, then lube the fan switch

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yeah i suppose.
the tabasco sauce idea is great.

tape over the vhs with childhood birthdays.

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Yes, imagine the pain when dissections mom goes to put the big 9incher into his dad... owe!

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put them on your dad's birthday cake?

superglue them onto your family's dog

superglue them on the front door

superglue them to the bumper of your dads car and make a sticker for the rear bumper (anal PENETRATOR!!!!)

superglue is cool

epoxy is better, and stronger

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Just a drop on the end of dildos will do the job. It should dry nicely and have a few seconds delay when lubed to get deep before the burning and real fun starts

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well yeah, my first reaction was "leave them alone" but seeing as how this is never going to happen why not contribute ideas

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Not just a drop Fucken Lube them up with the shit.

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thing is... wont they smell it?

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i like this idea

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Leave a note inside the bag that says "Enjoy your dildos" and then sign your name. See if they ever say anything to you. Good lord that would be awkward.

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sort of going along with the pepper idea: this won't be painful to the parents, it'll just gross them out
if you have any indian friends, they'll know about Chaat masala. It's a mixture of spices, and one of the spices in that mixture (it's called black salt i think) has a very sulfury smell. So basically it smells like ass. Make a mixture of this spice mix and some glue perhaps, and glue it in on a few of their dildos. have it dry, and put them back in the ziplock bag
when they go to use them, the dildos will look visibly dirty, and they'll smell like ass! and they'll be like, "who put these dildos in their ass". they'll be simulataneously confused and frightened.

it won't be painful for the parents like the pepper idea, and it doesn't have to humiliate them in front of alot people like the other ideas.

combine it with Darko's idea!

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IT MUST BE PAINFUL, and you have to hide a video camera to catch thier reaction on film so we can see.

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MwuaHaHAAHAAAAAAahahahahahahAHAHHHHHHAHAHAAAAAAAAaaaaa

You should just go with the pepper ideal, and at least audio tape their room. Their sounds when the burning starts will be worth a thousand million laughs Make sure you only use a drop on each dildo, beause that is more than enough. Don't lube the dildos with the shit because the pepper smell will give it away, like BLS said, and send them to the hospital. Leave the bag open a little so that the smell can air out. Remember, it's the feeling, not the smell we want them to notice. It will not be to painful but very very... uncomfortable.

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Most of my ideas would probably be to gross.
But yeah that pepper stuff would be great. And if theres going to be a family get together put a dildo in a chicken or turkey so theylle find it at the table and stuff. Funny.
If possible at all video tape the reactions or what happens.
Have fun.

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Eh..the Pepper idea mixed with mine will make it seem like Dissection fucked himself with their dildos...

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so we all win he pranks his parents and it backfires on him kinda

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You don't think he put hot sause on his anus... do you Darko?

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My first thought was to plant them in a row like flowers in a place where they would see them but no one else would. Or in flower pots around the house if you have no siblings. Or get them a couple DVD's and put a note that you or someone else thought it was something they'd like.
BUT !
I do commend your parents for keeping their privacy. That's cool. They could have been exposing you to the stuff and their activity. (I haven't read past the first page of this, btw.) I think you should let that be a lesson to you that they have a healthy sexlife and when you find yourself in a permanent relationship you respect that relationship,too. It sounds like that's what they've done. They're having fun together and that's how it should be.

AND I THINK YOU GUYS ARE JUST JEALOUS CAUSE OLD FOLKS ACTUALLY GET BETTER QUALITY THAN YOU DO!!!!! HA!

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HAhaha! That plant one is genious!

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My parents have the same kind of "secret". But no dvds just vhs. I once thought of hiding their dildos(not in my fuckin room!) but somewhere they couldnt find them like the attic or something. But no. Go with the pepper.

Thats the one i'm using as of right now.

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We have a lexus. My dad likes the car more than he does me. No way in hell.

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if he truely loves that car then that would be the best one cause it would get him so pissed off, you could watch the vein twitch on his head

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This would be the most awkward. Its between this and the ceiling fan.

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You don't understand. LEXUS. My dad would fucking kill me, considering that would kill the bumper.

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your right i dont understand, what the fuck is a lexus i mean i know its a car but...

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See, a bag of 10+ dildos is not a healthy ANYTHING.

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hahaha, true. make 'em pay.

Do like on freddy got fingered...With the sausages but make them dildos and say daddy would you like some dildos.

I say go with the ceiling fan if they are still tired and they stretch and yawn with their eyes closed WHACk one might smack them in the face which would the the best thing ever. Just make sure you spell 0wned somewhere with the lube that would make the rage factor go up like 5x atleast.

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true, but like Dissection said, why would they need 10 dildos? there's only 4 orifices that a dildo could go in on a guy's body, 5 on a woman's body. what are they doing with the extra ones??? There is a hint of desperateness here, and that's funny to us cruel teenagers.

and it's just a prank anyhoo. He's getting his parents back for grounding him 'cause he looked at porn. They never explicitly told him not to, and they watch the stuff all the time with their collection of classics, "Debbie Does Dallas" and whatnot. so it's payback time! someday, when you're a teenager you'll understand.

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just go with Darko's idea. with the ceiling fan thing, you'd have to wait til your parents leave, then take out the dildos, tape em up, that would take time.
The note in the bag is the best idea, 'cause it's quick, easy, painless, and least humiliating to your parents.

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The bag one is good, but its just not the funniest thing you could do. I like the ceiling fan thing.

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Maybe they had a sale at the cock shop. Maybe they're different sizes. Maybe some of them are 'reserved' for different holes. Maybe you're a strange desparate young man who can't think of anything to do with 10 dildos

I have a thousand ideas. Penises bring out the worst in me.

* Leave one in a piece of machinery that your mum uses... suggest the washing machine or vacuum cleaner. "What's that rattling noise?"

* Put up a sign "DIRTY GARAGE SALE", and lay them all out on a blanket on your front lawn. Let your neighbours get a good look at what your parents cram into each other. Attach a tag - "Only on owner, who only wore it to church on Sundays. Slightly scuffed".

* Drop one in a light-fitting. Especially a weird coloured one, purple or neon green would work. It gives the room a lovely cock-coloured hue, and you might be able to get away with it for a while, secure in the knowledge that your light fitting is packing meat.

* Add something to the bag - a pop-up Karma Sutra, a litre pump-bottle of lube, a vial of amyl nitrate...

* Got a younger brother? Make a mobile. Hang it in the baby room.

* You have to leave at least one in the glove compartment of the Lexus. Mandatory. Hopefully your dad will be riding with someone he's trying to impress and reach for his sunglasses, leaving his companion with two dicks in his lap instead of one.

* I love the flower pot idea. Give them genus and species names "Coccus Maximii" or "Wangus Moderatus"

* Bake them a cake, using one as a mixer. Giggle inside as they eat it and wonder why you're baking them a fucking cake. Leave some batter on the wang and re-pack it in the bag. Ouch. Cock-cake.

* This would be difficult, but by far the most disturbing. Secretly add one wang a week for about two months. See how long they can go without mentioning the fact that THEIR DILDOS ARE BREEDING! AND HAVING BABY DILDOS! DILDETTES!

* Artfully arrange them in a salad bowl, drop in some lettuce, a little dressing, leave it in the fridge. Serves two.

Want more?

Best thread in ages.

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FBS ideas are all good, the fan idea sucks, if your gonna do that just give up cuase its a waste fo time. You still better put tabasco sauce on one of them dammit!

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like the garage sale idea ....you might end up earning some money

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who would buy a used dildo??

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some horney bitch.....or one of his parents so that they can add a few more to their collection

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look on ebay...

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Used Dildos...That people Buy...That is nasty shit.

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dude..... you can hang the didldos inside or near ur parents room or even outside the house

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on second thoughts .... hang one dildo in the rear view mirror in ur dads car

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probably some stick ass fetish some people have

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Bahahahahaha! DO IT!

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Hey Dissection, take a picture of the dildos and stuff, will you?

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why?

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I have to agree with trendkill and L,B' on this. Thats their privacy and you should respect it. If I was like that and had my kids fuck with it I'd come straight forward to them and say stay the fuck out of my room now. As long as he's using those dildos on women, its all good. You know you'd fuck a hot chick with some toys if she wanted it.

Smell them and see if they smell like poo though. If so then put them in the glove compartment in the lexus. Or one at least.

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Hahah yeah in the glove compartment. That wont hurt the car and if he gets pulled over and they ask for insurance information, there will be all those didlos in there and it would be funny.

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Lube the mailbox handle and put a dildo in it, take a pic of his/her reaction and put it up here so we can see it. Put a bloody dildo in the medicine cabinet, and a ton of opened condoms in the toilet.

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you should have a vote with all these ideas

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Yes, make a poll of the ideals ( no pund intended here ). I like the glove box and mail box idea's a lot too. Make sure you put them in the mail box before the mail man shows, so that he sees it too.

Better yet, mail your 'rents a new giant dildo wraped tight in paper so that the people at the postal office know what it is. Make sure the return address says, Dildos R'us. Included a typed letter about how happy this addition will make your 'rents current dildo collection, plus its their's free to keep. Your 'rents will be known forever at the local post office.

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LMAO! Ok we need to know just exactly how many dildos their are??? Because theirs a shitload of good ideas here

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"Oh dammt i have to deliver this package to the dildo ordering people...why do I get ALL the wierdos?!" hahaha

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put on a glove take the biggest dildo and mushroom slap your mom!

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You could combine all of these ideas into one giant plan - put one in a cake, one in your dad's glove compartment, one attached to the ceiling fan, one in the mailbox, one with tabasco on it, etc. Hell, they've got enough of the damn things!

"I love it when a plan comes together" - Hannibal, The A-team.

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Heh. If you know they're coming home with some guests, string the dildos from the ceiling in front of your door. So that when they walk in, they get dildoed in the face. Or if they have no friends, and you have younger siblings, just make a trail of porn from one room to your parents room during the night. Once your sibling wakes up, they'll follow that path and embarrass your parents.

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does he even have a ceiling fan??

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I say either of the two that soulinsane said, that would be too great.

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Yeah, and my mom told me that they fucked on my bed (she said it as a joke. She said she was, and the fact that they'd never...). I went and washed my sheets and my comforter. UGH.

I said to my friend, right after that; "I was having second thoughts about the prank, but fuck that, I am humiliating them."

My idea is the note in the bag, and I will buy a porn, wrap it, and give it to my dad. I'm sure that will humiliate the living FUCK out of them.

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I'll tell you what my friend Dillian did. He found a 12 inch dildo and anal lube in his brother's room. He didn't know his brother was gay and I guess that pissed him off, because he mixed alcohol with his lube. He said that later that night he heard a loud scream. It sounds alot like Soul's idea, but I bet it would be harder to smell.

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alcohol would smell worse, and it would be a very bad idea. It could acually do damage. Stick with this rule: If it can go in your mouth it can go in your butt lol Tabasco sauce would hurt but i doubt it can do any real damage.

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we're not trying to hurt his parents or scare the hell out of them ("who fucked with our dildos? a burglar?"), we're just trying to make them feel extremely awkward and humiliated

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Exactly. That goes in the 'sick' file.

Don't post anything you would fucking kill someone over, either. My parents are already going to be pissed, but I don't need to give them a reason to KICK ME OUT.

So please, think before you post.

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tabasco sauce wont kill anyone, but it will definetly humiliate them, and possible wreck their sex life for good... well atleast the use of dildos. Leaving a not wont humilate them at all... it would just be a waste of time. I like the mailbox idea. Or the dirty garage sale. Shit that strangers that dont know your parents will think thier some kind of sicko's

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No. The tabasco idea, while funny, is not going to happen. Thats just fucking mean, and sick.

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man you suck Atleast do the mailbox or dirty gargage sale idea. And video tape people's reactions. That would kick ass. Hell i can even host the video for you.

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throw away the dildos and hide the porn but make sure the can see the dildos in the trash

are you gonna video tape this or no?

No.

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then fuck it, this is stupid and you'll never do it.

just close this lame thread.

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why not?

No its not, you fucking idiot, you just don't understand that people get infections from shit like that. Fuck, I already said drop the idea.

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hahaha, u sick prick.

and dissection, you're telling him to drop it?

leave your poor parents alone man. go get laid.

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I highly doubt tabasco sauce would cause and infection... but no point arguing since your not gonna do it. Still.. the dirty garage sale is genius.

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Yes, it is, but like I said, nothing that could get me kicked out of the house.

And yeah, it could give a chick a yeast infection, and a guy (not sure about guy) might get a urinary tract infection (like i said, not sure about that one).

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he coulnt get a track infection if hes sticking the dil in his ass

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dude....go to ur mom and say..........mom look what Ur pussy was playing with

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I meant the lube, ass.

But still...

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