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  #21  
Old 2003-07-31, 22:21
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killing the little slut. He's killed many people in his life, one more wouldn't hurt. Besides, he was a straight up thug. Now he has money and pot. He kept selling the pot to get more money but one day...
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  #22  
Old 2003-08-01, 00:42
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but one day shaq was laying on his couch, high, watching a basketball game as he heard something that sounded like someone was trying to open the door. "Shit" shaq said in his mind, and quickly grabbed the bag he had of money and weed and jumped out the window, only to remind himself with a bone popping out of his leg that the window was on the 2nd floor of his 3 million dollar manchine. He...
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  #23  
Old 2003-08-01, 03:56
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.....he wasnt aware of the pain as he was still high from the weed
and managed to crawl across a field and into the woods surrounding
his mansion. by now the effect of the weed was starting to wear off
and as pains shot through his leg he.........
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  #24  
Old 2003-08-01, 10:32
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..clutched it, screaming: "OH GOD HAVE MERCY UPON MY WORTHLESS SOUL!!".

then god appeared.

he said: "thou hast sinned, now thou must pay by...
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  #25  
Old 2003-08-01, 12:16
atifman atifman is offline
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*weijia, you idiot, you broke rule number 4!

"by giving me some weed".........
Shaq: "alrite"
God: "My name's Biltoo Goddardsen. my friends call me God."
Shaq: "my name is Shaquire. you can call me Shaq. wait, you're name is Bill 2????"
Bill2: "yeah, why don't you come with me, to my shack in the forest, where my redhead daughter lives. She'll fix your leg."
Shaq: "okay"


So Shaquire and Old man Bill 2 were like Perfect Strangers (yeah, just like the sitcom). Bill 2 had a huge cocaine stash, and he needed someone to cultivate, harvest the stuff, and secretly sell it. Shaquire agreed to help him, as long as Bill 2 kept him hidden.
Shaquire's eyes almost popped out of his head when he saw the huge hidden rows of cocaine.
Bill 2 saw his reaction, and said "ok lemme lay down a few rules:
1. No smoking any cocaine. it's only for sale
2.....
3......
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  #26  
Old 2003-08-02, 05:21
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1. No smoking any cocaine
2. No touching my daughter
3. give me a spongebath every night

Shaq was sick of the same bullshit. He knew he could kill bill2 without anything happening with the police, since bill2 was a huge dealer. Later that night shaq took the gun he stole from the first house and shot bill2 right in the head. Shaq laughed happily as he saw the gushing blood wound and bullet that punctured it. Bill2's daughter Terri LovesDhik walked into the room.....
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  #27  
Old 2003-08-02, 14:37
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....and let out a happy laugh as she threw her arms around shaq and led him into her room, as they started to get down to the usual (going against rule 2) terri rammed a knife through his leg twisting it as it went through scraping it past the bone. Shaq let out a muffled yelp trying desperatly not to show his face as he left the house stumbling through the woods.......
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  #28  
Old 2003-08-03, 02:55
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*god, barely anyone wants to post anything in this thread, but i dig it, showing intelligent creativity*

in the woods, shaq removed the knife from his leg, and noticed he forgot his bag of money, weed, and cocaine he'd been stealing from the feilds. Shaq stumbled back to the house where he saw terri standing there with the bag ready to escape the life of wrong and go to hollywood. Shaq quickly pulled out his gun and shit terri straight in the forhead. He quickly grabbed the bag out of Terri's lifeless hand, the keys from her other hand, and drove off into the feilds in the F150 to pick up all the cocaine he could get to sell for money...
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  #29  
Old 2003-08-04, 02:38
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...unfortunately, upon arriving at the gigantic stash, Shaq lost what remained of his sanity & overcome with rampant greed, he began snorting down kilos of the horrible, grainy shite that Bill2 had been ruining the local villages with. Sounding something like across between a blocked hover & a bag full of piglets & snakes, Shaq downed more & more of the snowy sand.

Lying half-dead, hours later in a pool of blood, snot & vomit, Shaq decided that he was the Reverand Jesse Jackson & HE HAD TO DO SOMETHING FOR HIM & HIS KIND!

The Psychotic Reformed Inbreeding Coloured Klan, or PRICK, was born....well at least for now, in the mind of one bloody, snotty & very shattered Shaq....
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  #30  
Old 2003-08-04, 07:28
nightrider06 nightrider06 is offline
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..after waking from his day dream he realised he was still driving and continued on his way to the field. When he reached the field his penis grew and he nearly reached ejaculation after looking upon the field of cocaine and realising how much money he could have. After piling kilo after kilo of cocaine in the back of his stolen car he then drove off...
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  #31  
Old 2003-08-04, 15:23
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...and he met up with Mr. Delgado in South America cause he was the only one that wanted to buy it all. And Shaq wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible because he knew that pushing blow was stupid and sketchy. Now Shaq is in South America with lots of money....
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CEPHALIC FUCKING CARNAGE


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---METAL
------H---

"One day we all will die, a cliched fact of life."
Pantera - I'm Broken
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  #32  
Old 2003-08-04, 16:05
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Quote:
Originally posted by metal=life
...and he met up with Mr. Delgado in South America cause he was the only one that wanted to buy it all. And Shaq wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible because he knew that pushing blow was stupid and sketchy. Now Shaq is in South America with lots of money....


so he does what he always does when he has tons of money: he films a crappy movie. "i think i'll call it Kazaam 2"
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  #33  
Old 2003-08-04, 17:07
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And Kazaam 2 completely blew away Kazaam 1. Infact, this movie was sent to Hollywood's New Line Home Entretainment and Larry Johnson bought this movie for 2.5 million dollars. This is pocket change to Shaq but he was happy to have a hit movie. People all over the world were buying Kazaam 2. Shaq is now very popular all over the world and he still cannot get caught. This is making it very hard for Shaq to live.
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I swear to Drunk I'm not god
---------------------------------
CEPHALIC FUCKING CARNAGE


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------A---
---METAL
------H---

"One day we all will die, a cliched fact of life."
Pantera - I'm Broken
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  #34  
Old 2003-08-04, 18:30
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oh, god... kazaam?




four years later, after a long time of running, he ended up doing a
documentary. he still had lots of money and loose cash, so he could still
get up and run if it was inevitable. on a secret shoot of an interview, there
was a tipster and cops surrounded the place and he was finally arrested.
facing very extreme crime time, there was only one thing left for him to do...
escape........
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Man, I get real sweaty after I wack my dong. Yeah, cause I headbang while I do, and I can't really "Jump" (haha ) like VanHalen in a dorm room, so I just walk back and forth....haha a couple days ago I was jumping up and down on my bed, with my pants down and my roommate came in when I wasn't looking, hahaha.


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  #35  
Old 2003-08-04, 20:03
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Everyone knows what he looks like by now so he can't hide. So he walks outside in the nude with a boner. No cop will come close to him now. But they surround him and close in on him. Then, out of nowhere...a fucking helicopter comes flying down. It throws a rope down and Shaq grabs it cause its the only thing he can do. He is flown off by this unknown person and arrives at some field 20 minutes later. The person who saved him was one of his celebrity stalkers. He saw he was going to get busted on that interview so he had a chopper ready. Shaq was mad that he stalked him but he couldn't be happier that he saved him so he...
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I swear to Drunk I'm not god
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CEPHALIC FUCKING CARNAGE


------D---
------E---
------A---
---METAL
------H---

"One day we all will die, a cliched fact of life."
Pantera - I'm Broken
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  #36  
Old 2003-08-04, 21:24
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... woke up and realised this was all a dream
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  #37  
Old 2003-08-04, 22:22
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ehhh, you killed it, punk. Do you feel lucky?
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Man, I get real sweaty after I wack my dong. Yeah, cause I headbang while I do, and I can't really "Jump" (haha ) like VanHalen in a dorm room, so I just walk back and forth....haha a couple days ago I was jumping up and down on my bed, with my pants down and my roommate came in when I wasn't looking, hahaha.


This is my band's page
http://www.myspace.com/ferocitydentontx
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  #38  
Old 2003-08-04, 22:30
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haha. You can still go on with it. It was kind of going nowhere anyways.
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I swear to Drunk I'm not god
---------------------------------
CEPHALIC FUCKING CARNAGE


------D---
------E---
------A---
---METAL
------H---

"One day we all will die, a cliched fact of life."
Pantera - I'm Broken
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  #39  
Old 2003-08-05, 05:10
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hmm
you can still continue it like: after he woke up he went to.... blablabla
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  #40  
Old 2003-08-05, 06:16
nightrider06 nightrider06 is offline
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..after he woke up he realised that he had passed out from the numerous amounts of cocaine he had gone hard on, still feeling a bit dazed he stumbled outside to check if his cocaine and money was still in his stolen car. On opening the boot he was startled by looking into a boot of emptyness. His money and stash was gone...
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