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  #1  
Old 2003-07-31, 12:42
atifman atifman is offline
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Post FTT #14: What Impossible Means...

ok this is another FTT: Finish The Tale
i start a story, leave it trailing, and you contribute to it, also leaving the last part trailing.


Important rules that we've learned from past FTTs:

1. No retardedness. We've had retarded people say dumb jokes, and it fucked the whole thing up. look at these FTT's as examples:
http://www.metaltabs.com/forum/foru...40&pagenumber=8
I know it's damn near impossible with all the dumbasses we have on this forum, but keep it SMART, CREATIVE, and ORIGINAL. Keep all sexual and body-part related jokes to an absolute minimum. If you don't have anything intelligent to add to the story, don't even post.

2. Post at least a sentence fragment, not just one or 2 words. Longer posts (a few sentences to a paragraph) are preferable

3. Try to keep the story fresh and interesting, and leave a good trailing part for the next poster to add on to. don't blow up the world or some crap like that, halfway into the story. Also, go with the flow of the story, try to keep it with the same theme. Add to the storyline and plot, don't side track! Avoid cliches.

4. No making up things that don't exist, that means no "Green Banana men" or "Hyper-space teleporting time machine". This rule coincides with rule number 1. The story can be science-fictional, but it has to somewhat make sense.

5. If you're addressing another member after their post, write your message in a different way than the story. like put your message in italics,different color, small font, or put parentheses around it; in some way just so your message text won't get confused with the story text.

6. If you're posting a story part, and it's a bit long, look out for other members already working on a story:
Who's online and what they're doing list
if you see "Replying to Thread FTT #14: What Impossible Means...", wait!
so you don't waste time writing and posting, because if you post after another member who posted first, and you're parts are linked to the same story part, you have to delete your post!


You can make the story serious or have fun with it, but remember keyword = Intelligent. here we go:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




"PUT YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEAD AND LIE DOWN ON THE GROUND" exclaimed the robbers while brandishing their silver guns. All the customers did as they were told.
One older gentleman shakingly said "oh my god....." when lying down.
one of the robbers said, "Shut the fuck up" and kicked him in the face.
These robbers were pretty well disguised. They all wore slipknot style clown masks, with long black trenchcoats, gloves, and big boots. One of the them sounded like he was Black.
That robber put his gun to the female teller's head and quietly asked her the combination to the safe. This was a rather large bank, however, so......
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Last edited by atifman : 2003-07-31 at 22:10.
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  #2  
Old 2003-07-31, 13:48
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oh my god, its finally returned, nice work atif!

..the teller had an easy time finding a translator since she didnt speak ebonics. the robbers took her up to the 13th floor where Dr. Ebony resided and asked him to translate for them.

the black robber started to talk, he said: "....
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  #3  
Old 2003-07-31, 14:20
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..."Now listen up biatch! I wants my muthafuckin money fo sheezy! N' eezy."

The teller asked why he had to be so angry and informed the robbers that there are other ways to solve problems.

"You need to shut the FUCK up bitch!" said the cracker robber

"SHIAAAT BIATCH! I FUCKIN' TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK SHIZZLE!" *pops cap in teller*

"Oh man, you said no one was going to get hurt in this robbery, just get in and out" the cracker robber said franticly...
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  #4  
Old 2003-07-31, 15:08
Gigantic Penis Gigantic Penis is offline
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"Yeah, I did say that." said the Black sounding robber, "but YOU said you were gonna stop blowing all of are stolen money on Asain male hookers."

The other robber lowered his head shamefully.

"Anyway, this money is mine now, all mine." the Black sounding robber said, as he proceeded to kill the other robbers with a bullet to the head.

"Bitch, you gonna come with me also." he said as he grabbed the female teller. "I'll tear into you a few times later tonight.

--Suddenly--

"THIS IS THE POLCE, WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED!!" a gruff voice shouted through a megaphone.

The robber looked out the 13th floor window to see over 5 police cars and 20+ cops surrounding the bank.
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  #5  
Old 2003-07-31, 15:19
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dude, the teller already died haha. Ah fuck it shes still alive.

The robber called up his west side Crips to the scene. Within moments there was a full on battle outside between Crips and Cops. The robber had stolen 3 million dollars in cold hard cash so he easily pursuaded the female teller to live with him on a near by island drinking tropical drinks everyday and livin' large. All they have to do now is escape. Knowing that the FBI will show up within minutes the robber has to make his escape while the police are tied up with the Crips. So the robber grabs the teller, who told him her name was Tarja, and dashed downstars to find a way out...
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"One day we all will die, a cliched fact of life."
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  #6  
Old 2003-07-31, 15:37
killingismybiz killingismybiz is offline
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Basically, things were looking grim. The main exits were swarmed with police waiting for someone to come out. The scene outside was unfolding rather roughly, as friendly fires were becoming more common.

The robber stopped and looked at his surroundings. Where would be his best bet to escape? Then he thought, "Damn I hope I dont have to pay my fellow Crips for the service they are providing me." Anyways...
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  #7  
Old 2003-07-31, 15:58
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The robber went to the main floor where all the people were laying down. He asked an emplyee down there to strip off his clothes and give them to him. Now that he was suited up all nice and pretty, he told everyone to run outside along with him and Tarja. He also told everyone to scream in horror when they did run out. The police saw the mob of people dashing out of the main enterance and could not spot who the robber was. The robber made it to his Ford F-150 truck in the parking lot and drove off with Tarja. Tarja was so happy to be with the robber that she gave him a handjob soon after they left the crime scene. The robber now knew that he could trust Tarja so he said "My name is ....
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  #8  
Old 2003-07-31, 16:40
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guitar_demon guitar_demon is offline
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shaquire he said
ooo shaquire what a strong manly name she replie even though she was thinking how fucking gay it sounded. what are we gonna do if they cops do find us she cried well were gonna fuck cap em bitch just then the back left tire poped then the back right one as a jeep full of crips pulled up YO MOTHER FUAACKER WHERE THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU BE GOING you fuckign owe us homie. cock scratcher! the head crip yelled yes sir came the voice of a thug go get me that damn money then the bitch NOW
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  #9  
Old 2003-07-31, 16:58
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Wow man, pronunciation wouldn't hurt haha.

Shaquire really didn't need this ho bag Tarja anyways. He gladly hooked his homeboys up with .5 million and 3 pounds of chronic ass nugs. And Tarja for that matter.

Shaquire was now 1/2 a million dollars poorer and had no woman. Theres only one thing he can do and thats....
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CEPHALIC FUCKING CARNAGE


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------A---
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"One day we all will die, a cliched fact of life."
Pantera - I'm Broken
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  #10  
Old 2003-07-31, 17:14
killingismybiz killingismybiz is offline
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And that was to keep walking and hope to stumble across a cheap whore/sex club. He lugged his money around (considering that his car was ruined and his 'homies' left him) eyeing the shadows and lights praying that a cop wouldnt pass by. Shaquire stumbled on a damn rock and his money spilled from the bag. As he was picking up what he could, a nearby fox had picked up his smell. Curiosty got this rabid fox - and it loped across the road to only meet its fate which was...
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  #11  
Old 2003-07-31, 17:26
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...to get hit by a police car that was zooming by to the crime scene. Luckily the blood from the fox covered the windshield of the pigmobile and he swirved off the road off of a cliff. Shaquire sighed in relief and gathered the rest of his money together. He got off the road to be safe and headed through a big forest not sure where he would end up...
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CEPHALIC FUCKING CARNAGE


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"One day we all will die, a cliched fact of life."
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  #12  
Old 2003-07-31, 18:37
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turns out, that he came to a trail in the deep dark forest. he was lost anyway,
so he just said, "fuck it." and so he took the trail. pretty soon, he came to an old
shack. he thought to himself, "hmm, this looks like a good place to hang low."
night had come by then, and the crickets were getting really annoying...when
suddenly, he heard a crunch, like the sound of sneaking footsteps...
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  #13  
Old 2003-07-31, 19:12
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"Hey young man! Who goes there!"

It was pitch black dark so Shaquire tried to hide. But suddenly...He felt a cold hand grasp his throat and lifted him off his feet. The old man turned lit a candle and asked Shaquire who he was and why the fuck he was in his house. Shaquile said "I was lost sir...please let me down...can't.......breathe". The old man let him down but would not let him leave without some answers. This old man was very wise and could sense that he was running from something. Shaquire found some pot on the table so knew the old man wouldn't get cops involved. He told him the story and the old man said he could hide here as long as he wants but he MUST help around the place....
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  #14  
Old 2003-07-31, 21:25
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"Well, shaquire, my name is Bill, and i reckon that you can find the bed up the stairs and in the 2nd room to the right." the old man directed in his country voice. Shaquire rushed up stairs to fall asleep, but made sure to keep his bag of 2 and a half million dollars in eye's reach.
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Last edited by artofnothing6 : 2003-07-31 at 21:40.
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  #15  
Old 2003-07-31, 21:28
atifman atifman is offline
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So Shaquire and Old man Bill were like Perfect Strangers (yeah, just like the sitcom). Bill had a huge marijiuana stash, and he needed someone to cultivate, harvest the weed, and secretly sell it. Shaquire agreed to help him, as long as Bill kept him hidden.
Shaquire's eyes almost popped out of his head when he saw the huge hidden garden.
Bill saw his reaction, and said "ok lemme lay down a few rules:
1. no smoking any weed. the weed is only for sale.
2. Don't touch my daughter
3. you have to gimme a spongebath every night.
4. Dont' leave the house"

Shaq said, "fuck!"
Bill: "if you don't comply, i turn you in, and take half the money"
Shaq said, "but then i'll just turn you in. You can't get away with it, it's impossible"
Bill: "I have my ways. You're fucked either way"

2 weeks later, Shaq couldn't stand the place. Taking care of all that marijuana, was back-breaking work and painful. He had to smell the stuff the whole time, but could not smoke it.
Also, Shaq was a player. He used to have sex once every two days. The 2 weeks really built up his sexual frustration and tension, especially with Bill's hot blonde skanky daughter with the large, but not too large, hoo-has. She strutted around the place giving him winks all the time, and she was way easy.
And no-one enjoys giving a nasty old man a spongebath every night. Bill liked to moan often many times during the spongebath.


but Shaq wasn't gonna take this much longer, he was planning on escape. He planned to take the money, a good amount of weed, and the daughter (he liked kidnapping women), so what he did was,
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Last edited by atifman : 2003-08-01 at 12:14.
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  #16  
Old 2003-07-31, 21:41
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Later that night, while laying on the couch, Shaq was thinking out a good plan to escape. As he was thinking long and hard he heard very quiet squeeks coming from the near-by hallway. It was obviously a female figure coming towards him so he became "slightly aroused". After introducing herself, Tiffany and Shaq snuck out after old man Bill was sound sleep. Shaq also pinched off a little nug from a dimebag that he was supposed to sell.
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  #17  
Old 2003-07-31, 21:58
atifman atifman is offline
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*new rule, see above
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Old 2003-07-31, 22:05
atifman atifman is offline
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He tried to escape the only way he knew how.
after the stealing the goods (money, weed, and objectified woman), he tried to escape in his car. but the motor wouldn't start, and that gave Old Man Bill enough time to grab his shotgun from his bedroom, and yell profanities on his way down to KILL Shaq. Shaq said, "If i only had my Shaqcessories from Radio Shack with me, it would help me get this car started". finally, with a Crunch bar in his mouth, Shaq got the.....
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Last edited by atifman : 2003-07-31 at 22:08.
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Old 2003-07-31, 22:11
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...uzi out from his earlier felony and blasted the old man to kingdom come. Tiffany was upset but understood why he had to do that. She said "My father...well..he makes me do things for him I don't want...like..when I was younger...". She bursted out crying and Shaq comforted her in his big black arms and said "Its all over now". He gave her the rest of the Crunch bar. Now, Shaq had a new place, tons of pot, and a chick. He only cared about the pussy though. And the pussy was AMAZING.
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CEPHALIC FUCKING CARNAGE


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------H---

"One day we all will die, a cliched fact of life."
Pantera - I'm Broken

Last edited by metal=life : 2003-07-31 at 22:15.
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  #20  
Old 2003-07-31, 22:16
atifman atifman is offline
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so Tiffany and Shaq had lots of sex.
a little while later, Tiffany informed him that she was pregnant.
Shaq couldn't believe what he heard. He was a bringing a child into his life, from a woman that he wasn't sure that he truely loved. He didn't want to bring a child into a loveless marriage. oh wait, he wasn't married yet. but Tiffany wanted to marry, she was in love.
he had so many conflicting emotions.
so what he ended up doing was,
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