ok this is another FTT: Finish The Tale
i start a story, leave it trailing, and you contribute to it, also leaving the last part trailing.


Important rules that we've learned from past FTTs:

1. No retardedness. We've had retarded people say dumb jokes, and it fucked the whole thing up. look at these FTT's as examples:
http://www.metaltabs.com/forum/foru...40&pagenumber=8
I know it's damn near impossible with all the dumbasses we have on this forum, but keep it SMART, CREATIVE, and ORIGINAL. Keep all sexual and body-part related jokes to an absolute minimum. If you don't have anything intelligent to add to the story, don't even post.

2. Post at least a sentence fragment, not just one or 2 words. Longer posts (a few sentences to a paragraph) are preferable

3. Try to keep the story fresh and interesting, and leave a good trailing part for the next poster to add on to. don't blow up the world or some crap like that, halfway into the story. Also, go with the flow of the story, try to keep it with the same theme. Add to the storyline and plot, don't side track! Avoid cliches.

4. No making up things that don't exist, that means no "Green Banana men" or "Hyper-space teleporting time machine". This rule coincides with rule number 1. The story can be science-fictional, but it has to somewhat make sense.

5. If you're addressing another member after their post, write your message in a different way than the story. like put your message in italics,different color, small font, or put parentheses around it; in some way just so your message text won't get confused with the story text.

6. If you're posting a story part, and it's a bit long, look out for other members already working on a story:
Who's online and what they're doing list
if you see "Replying to Thread FTT #14: What Impossible Means...", wait!
so you don't waste time writing and posting, because if you post after another member who posted first, and you're parts are linked to the same story part, you have to delete your post!


You can make the story serious or have fun with it, but remember keyword = Intelligent. here we go:
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"PUT YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEAD AND LIE DOWN ON THE GROUND" exclaimed the robbers while brandishing their silver guns. All the customers did as they were told.
One older gentleman shakingly said "oh my god....." when lying down.
one of the robbers said, "Shut the fuck up" and kicked him in the face.
These robbers were pretty well disguised. They all wore slipknot style clown masks, with long black trenchcoats, gloves, and big boots. One of the them sounded like he was Black.
That robber put his gun to the female teller's head and quietly asked her the combination to the safe. This was a rather large bank, however, so......

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oh my god, its finally returned, nice work atif!

..the teller had an easy time finding a translator since she didnt speak ebonics. the robbers took her up to the 13th floor where Dr. Ebony resided and asked him to translate for them.

the black robber started to talk, he said: "....

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..."Now listen up biatch! I wants my muthafuckin money fo sheezy! N' eezy."

The teller asked why he had to be so angry and informed the robbers that there are other ways to solve problems.

"You need to shut the FUCK up bitch!" said the cracker robber

"SHIAAAT BIATCH! I FUCKIN' TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK SHIZZLE!" *pops cap in teller*

"Oh man, you said no one was going to get hurt in this robbery, just get in and out" the cracker robber said franticly...

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"Yeah, I did say that." said the Black sounding robber, "but YOU said you were gonna stop blowing all of are stolen money on Asain male hookers."

The other robber lowered his head shamefully.

"Anyway, this money is mine now, all mine." the Black sounding robber said, as he proceeded to kill the other robbers with a bullet to the head.

"Bitch, you gonna come with me also." he said as he grabbed the female teller. "I'll tear into you a few times later tonight.

--Suddenly--

"THIS IS THE POLCE, WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED!!" a gruff voice shouted through a megaphone.

The robber looked out the 13th floor window to see over 5 police cars and 20+ cops surrounding the bank.

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dude, the teller already died haha. Ah fuck it shes still alive.

The robber called up his west side Crips to the scene. Within moments there was a full on battle outside between Crips and Cops. The robber had stolen 3 million dollars in cold hard cash so he easily pursuaded the female teller to live with him on a near by island drinking tropical drinks everyday and livin' large. All they have to do now is escape. Knowing that the FBI will show up within minutes the robber has to make his escape while the police are tied up with the Crips. So the robber grabs the teller, who told him her name was Tarja, and dashed downstars to find a way out...

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Basically, things were looking grim. The main exits were swarmed with police waiting for someone to come out. The scene outside was unfolding rather roughly, as friendly fires were becoming more common.

The robber stopped and looked at his surroundings. Where would be his best bet to escape? Then he thought, "Damn I hope I dont have to pay my fellow Crips for the service they are providing me." Anyways...

The robber went to the main floor where all the people were laying down. He asked an emplyee down there to strip off his clothes and give them to him. Now that he was suited up all nice and pretty, he told everyone to run outside along with him and Tarja. He also told everyone to scream in horror when they did run out. The police saw the mob of people dashing out of the main enterance and could not spot who the robber was. The robber made it to his Ford F-150 truck in the parking lot and drove off with Tarja. Tarja was so happy to be with the robber that she gave him a handjob soon after they left the crime scene. The robber now knew that he could trust Tarja so he said "My name is ....

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shaquire he said
ooo shaquire what a strong manly name she replie even though she was thinking how fucking gay it sounded. what are we gonna do if they cops do find us she cried well were gonna fuck cap em bitch just then the back left tire poped then the back right one as a jeep full of crips pulled up YO MOTHER FUAACKER WHERE THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU BE GOING you fuckign owe us homie. cock scratcher! the head crip yelled yes sir came the voice of a thug go get me that damn money then the bitch NOW

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Wow man, pronunciation wouldn't hurt haha.

Shaquire really didn't need this ho bag Tarja anyways. He gladly hooked his homeboys up with .5 million and 3 pounds of chronic ass nugs. And Tarja for that matter.

Shaquire was now 1/2 a million dollars poorer and had no woman. Theres only one thing he can do and thats....

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And that was to keep walking and hope to stumble across a cheap whore/sex club. He lugged his money around (considering that his car was ruined and his 'homies' left him) eyeing the shadows and lights praying that a cop wouldnt pass by. Shaquire stumbled on a damn rock and his money spilled from the bag. As he was picking up what he could, a nearby fox had picked up his smell. Curiosty got this rabid fox - and it loped across the road to only meet its fate which was...

...to get hit by a police car that was zooming by to the crime scene. Luckily the blood from the fox covered the windshield of the pigmobile and he swirved off the road off of a cliff. Shaquire sighed in relief and gathered the rest of his money together. He got off the road to be safe and headed through a big forest not sure where he would end up...

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turns out, that he came to a trail in the deep dark forest. he was lost anyway,
so he just said, "fuck it." and so he took the trail. pretty soon, he came to an old
shack. he thought to himself, "hmm, this looks like a good place to hang low."
night had come by then, and the crickets were getting really annoying...when
suddenly, he heard a crunch, like the sound of sneaking footsteps...

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"Hey young man! Who goes there!"

It was pitch black dark so Shaquire tried to hide. But suddenly...He felt a cold hand grasp his throat and lifted him off his feet. The old man turned lit a candle and asked Shaquire who he was and why the fuck he was in his house. Shaquile said "I was lost sir...please let me down...can't.......breathe". The old man let him down but would not let him leave without some answers. This old man was very wise and could sense that he was running from something. Shaquire found some pot on the table so knew the old man wouldn't get cops involved. He told him the story and the old man said he could hide here as long as he wants but he MUST help around the place....

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"Well, shaquire, my name is Bill, and i reckon that you can find the bed up the stairs and in the 2nd room to the right." the old man directed in his country voice. Shaquire rushed up stairs to fall asleep, but made sure to keep his bag of 2 and a half million dollars in eye's reach.

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So Shaquire and Old man Bill were like Perfect Strangers (yeah, just like the sitcom). Bill had a huge marijiuana stash, and he needed someone to cultivate, harvest the weed, and secretly sell it. Shaquire agreed to help him, as long as Bill kept him hidden.
Shaquire's eyes almost popped out of his head when he saw the huge hidden garden.
Bill saw his reaction, and said "ok lemme lay down a few rules:
1. no smoking any weed. the weed is only for sale.
2. Don't touch my daughter
3. you have to gimme a spongebath every night.
4. Dont' leave the house"

Shaq said, "fuck!"
Bill: "if you don't comply, i turn you in, and take half the money"
Shaq said, "but then i'll just turn you in. You can't get away with it, it's impossible"
Bill: "I have my ways. You're fucked either way"

2 weeks later, Shaq couldn't stand the place. Taking care of all that marijuana, was back-breaking work and painful. He had to smell the stuff the whole time, but could not smoke it.
Also, Shaq was a player. He used to have sex once every two days. The 2 weeks really built up his sexual frustration and tension, especially with Bill's hot blonde skanky daughter with the large, but not too large, hoo-has. She strutted around the place giving him winks all the time, and she was way easy.
And no-one enjoys giving a nasty old man a spongebath every night. Bill liked to moan often many times during the spongebath.


but Shaq wasn't gonna take this much longer, he was planning on escape. He planned to take the money, a good amount of weed, and the daughter (he liked kidnapping women), so what he did was,

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Later that night, while laying on the couch, Shaq was thinking out a good plan to escape. As he was thinking long and hard he heard very quiet squeeks coming from the near-by hallway. It was obviously a female figure coming towards him so he became "slightly aroused". After introducing herself, Tiffany and Shaq snuck out after old man Bill was sound sleep. Shaq also pinched off a little nug from a dimebag that he was supposed to sell.

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*new rule, see above

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He tried to escape the only way he knew how.
after the stealing the goods (money, weed, and objectified woman), he tried to escape in his car. but the motor wouldn't start, and that gave Old Man Bill enough time to grab his shotgun from his bedroom, and yell profanities on his way down to KILL Shaq. Shaq said, "If i only had my Shaqcessories from Radio Shack with me, it would help me get this car started". finally, with a Crunch bar in his mouth, Shaq got the.....

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...uzi out from his earlier felony and blasted the old man to kingdom come. Tiffany was upset but understood why he had to do that. She said "My father...well..he makes me do things for him I don't want...like..when I was younger...". She bursted out crying and Shaq comforted her in his big black arms and said "Its all over now". He gave her the rest of the Crunch bar. Now, Shaq had a new place, tons of pot, and a chick. He only cared about the pussy though. And the pussy was AMAZING.

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so Tiffany and Shaq had lots of sex.
a little while later, Tiffany informed him that she was pregnant.
Shaq couldn't believe what he heard. He was a bringing a child into his life, from a woman that he wasn't sure that he truely loved. He didn't want to bring a child into a loveless marriage. oh wait, he wasn't married yet. but Tiffany wanted to marry, she was in love.
he had so many conflicting emotions.
so what he ended up doing was,

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killing the little slut. He's killed many people in his life, one more wouldn't hurt. Besides, he was a straight up thug. Now he has money and pot. He kept selling the pot to get more money but one day...

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but one day shaq was laying on his couch, high, watching a basketball game as he heard something that sounded like someone was trying to open the door. "Shit" shaq said in his mind, and quickly grabbed the bag he had of money and weed and jumped out the window, only to remind himself with a bone popping out of his leg that the window was on the 2nd floor of his 3 million dollar manchine. He...

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.....he wasnt aware of the pain as he was still high from the weed
and managed to crawl across a field and into the woods surrounding
his mansion. by now the effect of the weed was starting to wear off
and as pains shot through his leg he.........

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..clutched it, screaming: "OH GOD HAVE MERCY UPON MY WORTHLESS SOUL!!".

then god appeared.

he said: "thou hast sinned, now thou must pay by...

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*weijia, you idiot, you broke rule number 4!

"by giving me some weed".........
Shaq: "alrite"
God: "My name's Biltoo Goddardsen. my friends call me God."
Shaq: "my name is Shaquire. you can call me Shaq. wait, you're name is Bill 2????"
Bill2: "yeah, why don't you come with me, to my shack in the forest, where my redhead daughter lives. She'll fix your leg."
Shaq: "okay"


So Shaquire and Old man Bill 2 were like Perfect Strangers (yeah, just like the sitcom). Bill 2 had a huge cocaine stash, and he needed someone to cultivate, harvest the stuff, and secretly sell it. Shaquire agreed to help him, as long as Bill 2 kept him hidden.
Shaquire's eyes almost popped out of his head when he saw the huge hidden rows of cocaine.
Bill 2 saw his reaction, and said "ok lemme lay down a few rules:
1. No smoking any cocaine. it's only for sale
2.....
3......

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1. No smoking any cocaine
2. No touching my daughter
3. give me a spongebath every night

Shaq was sick of the same bullshit. He knew he could kill bill2 without anything happening with the police, since bill2 was a huge dealer. Later that night shaq took the gun he stole from the first house and shot bill2 right in the head. Shaq laughed happily as he saw the gushing blood wound and bullet that punctured it. Bill2's daughter Terri LovesDhik walked into the room.....

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....and let out a happy laugh as she threw her arms around shaq and led him into her room, as they started to get down to the usual (going against rule 2) terri rammed a knife through his leg twisting it as it went through scraping it past the bone. Shaq let out a muffled yelp trying desperatly not to show his face as he left the house stumbling through the woods.......

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*god, barely anyone wants to post anything in this thread, but i dig it, showing intelligent creativity*

in the woods, shaq removed the knife from his leg, and noticed he forgot his bag of money, weed, and cocaine he'd been stealing from the feilds. Shaq stumbled back to the house where he saw terri standing there with the bag ready to escape the life of wrong and go to hollywood. Shaq quickly pulled out his gun and shit terri straight in the forhead. He quickly grabbed the bag out of Terri's lifeless hand, the keys from her other hand, and drove off into the feilds in the F150 to pick up all the cocaine he could get to sell for money...

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...unfortunately, upon arriving at the gigantic stash, Shaq lost what remained of his sanity & overcome with rampant greed, he began snorting down kilos of the horrible, grainy shite that Bill2 had been ruining the local villages with. Sounding something like across between a blocked hover & a bag full of piglets & snakes, Shaq downed more & more of the snowy sand.

Lying half-dead, hours later in a pool of blood, snot & vomit, Shaq decided that he was the Reverand Jesse Jackson & HE HAD TO DO SOMETHING FOR HIM & HIS KIND!

The Psychotic Reformed Inbreeding Coloured Klan, or PRICK, was born....well at least for now, in the mind of one bloody, snotty & very shattered Shaq....

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..after waking from his day dream he realised he was still driving and continued on his way to the field. When he reached the field his penis grew and he nearly reached ejaculation after looking upon the field of cocaine and realising how much money he could have. After piling kilo after kilo of cocaine in the back of his stolen car he then drove off...

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...and he met up with Mr. Delgado in South America cause he was the only one that wanted to buy it all. And Shaq wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible because he knew that pushing blow was stupid and sketchy. Now Shaq is in South America with lots of money....

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so he does what he always does when he has tons of money: he films a crappy movie. "i think i'll call it Kazaam 2"

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And Kazaam 2 completely blew away Kazaam 1. Infact, this movie was sent to Hollywood's New Line Home Entretainment and Larry Johnson bought this movie for 2.5 million dollars. This is pocket change to Shaq but he was happy to have a hit movie. People all over the world were buying Kazaam 2. Shaq is now very popular all over the world and he still cannot get caught. This is making it very hard for Shaq to live.

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oh, god... kazaam?




four years later, after a long time of running, he ended up doing a
documentary. he still had lots of money and loose cash, so he could still
get up and run if it was inevitable. on a secret shoot of an interview, there
was a tipster and cops surrounded the place and he was finally arrested.
facing very extreme crime time, there was only one thing left for him to do...
escape........

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Everyone knows what he looks like by now so he can't hide. So he walks outside in the nude with a boner. No cop will come close to him now. But they surround him and close in on him. Then, out of nowhere...a fucking helicopter comes flying down. It throws a rope down and Shaq grabs it cause its the only thing he can do. He is flown off by this unknown person and arrives at some field 20 minutes later. The person who saved him was one of his celebrity stalkers. He saw he was going to get busted on that interview so he had a chopper ready. Shaq was mad that he stalked him but he couldn't be happier that he saved him so he...

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... woke up and realised this was all a dream

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ehhh, you killed it, punk. Do you feel lucky?

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haha. You can still go on with it. It was kind of going nowhere anyways.

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hmm
you can still continue it like: after he woke up he went to.... blablabla

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..after he woke up he realised that he had passed out from the numerous amounts of cocaine he had gone hard on, still feeling a bit dazed he stumbled outside to check if his cocaine and money was still in his stolen car. On opening the boot he was startled by looking into a boot of emptyness. His money and stash was gone...

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then whilst looking into the boot a gun was put to the back of his neck, a blindfold put around his head and he was dragged into a car shaq, after what felt like hours of driving shaq was pulled from the car and his blindfold was removed and in front of him was a familier face walking from the shadow of a building shaq stutterd "i thought i killed you " the reply was"you killed my brother now i kill you ".........

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... Shaq pulled a gun out of nowhere and put a bullet between his eyes
the lifeless body collapsed on the floor which started to crack....

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.. whilst the body hit the floor, shaq let off a round on the fellow gang members and muttered "let the bodies hit the floor". Shaq then removed the wallet and car keys out of bill"s brothers pocket and strolled out the door...

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...outside were 2 police cars checking out was was going on, shaq pulled his gun and aimed it at one of the officers heads...

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........the officer ducked, stuck the gun from under the door and fired at point blank range. shaq ripped through the door with the bullets and took aim at the next officer who backed away and he dived in to the car as he looked up a bullet pierced the window and tore through the officers skull like a pick axe to an apple.
shaq wheel spun out of the drive in the parked up porsch and took off down the road. about half a mile away an american muscle car pulled up behind him ramming the bumper. shaq looked in the mirror and saw a shadow through the tainted windows.......

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...looking closer through the window he saw a very old lady who smiled friendly at him, of course Shaq wsn't so friendly so he...

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...so he looked closer and realised it was a man wearing a face mask and that happy smile was infact a sly grim smile. After feeling the impact shaq sped up and threw a sharp left down a narrow dirt road only to be followed by this mystery person..

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"Shaq wasn't so friendly so he looked closer"
very unfriendly

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... suddenly they were both stopped by 5 more trucks, Shaq expected them to
be on the side of the mysterious person...

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i have an idea why don't you try to write a paragraph or two of the story instead of just half a fuckin sentance?!?

so shaq responds :"fuck you PantericA, what are you doing here in this story?" he proceeds to beat the shit out of PantericA, but just before giving him the last blow, PantericA...

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PantericA fortunatly got the upper hand on shaq and did some sort of kung-fu karate shit on shaq. so shaq is laying there half dead from getting beaten by PantericA. and PantericA stole his stuff and drove off in his car with the 5 trucks chasing him. shaq was left on the side off the raod with masked man. who knows what happened to him.

so now there is PantericA drivin down the road with 5 fuckin trucks chasin him. and he doesn't know why they are chasin him. so PantericA floors the fuckin car. luckily the trucks had full loads of shit in the back and could not exceed more than 70 mph. so PantericA out runs the trucks on the back roads and comes to dead end with a river running south that blocks the road. what does PantericA do?........

PantericA pulled his mask of and it was..... SHAQ
shaq put a mask of himself on PantericA and a mask of PantericA on himself
so that the readers would be fooled.
Anyway, Shaq ran into the lake but he fell down the giant waterfall due
to the extreme force of the water.
Shaq fell a the way down, unconscious, woke up and...

(phew, that's more than a sentence this time )

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*kreator dont become a story writer u suck enormous penis at it*

...once again shaq had been dreaming and wakes up and looks at his job at hand which is getting away from the masked man in the car behind him. After taking several blows to the back of his car he swurves off the road into a tree. With the car stopped and banged up against the tree shaq looks towards the car that was chasing him only to see it stopped and empty 50 yards away..

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shut up, you suck too at it

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but it really wasnt emty because soon green banana men (haha!) poured out of it, all fucked up off of ether, amyls, and datura innoxia. the drugged mob then proceeded to....

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The banana men begin double anal double oral on shaq while he lays drowning in his own semen. And after a few hours of extreme anal pounding he gains enough strength to get up and begin to run into the forest but hes is leaving a trail of banana cum thats easy to follow....

because for some odd reason, it glows as bright as...

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neon-shit, so there you go... the banana men chase the train of neon-flourescent cum that came from Shaq's ass and run off into the sunset.

meanwhile, pubichairz is at home making his plans to conquer the world, but first he has to....

(yeah yeah, the good old ftt threads!)

beat off to his two cats having sex, then, his inspiration comes after his mom makes him mini bagels filled with...

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Makes you wonder where all this guys went... hmm not really

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...Shaq's ball juice. But the imported semen is brimming with cocaine after Shaq's narcotic escapades and Spikey soon gets completely wasted. He starts hallucinating that his fornicating cats get medievel on his tight virgin arse. After much mental pain, he eventually slips into a deep sleep of mythical proportions and wakes up to find...

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...smurfs now rule the world and have put him in a museum along with...

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the other homosexual people who say stupid shit and...

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trip too many mushrooms to be considered sane.