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  #1  
Old 2003-07-31, 02:03
Alothrysis Alothrysis is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2003
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Posts: 181
Ephemeral Slaughter

Finally came out of a block I've had for awhile so here goes...

Since the beginning, death awaits you
Out of the shadows, its becoming
Your last breath, soon to be here
Fearing for death, it wrenches the core

Emotionless
Compassionless

Bludgeon, the hammer it falls
Blood stains the floor but I need more
Bones and sinew, the clashing of man
Burning with hatred, look in my eyes
Try what you can, you soul won't survive

Cries of agony, the pain inside
Stabbing you blind, suffer my kind
Intestinal devastation
Glazing of the eyes

Through a bloody view you see the moon
Laughing echoes, no one scorns
It shines darker than ever before
The crack of your skull, that's my tune
Anger inside, forever doomed

Emotionless
Compassionless

Seering pain, within runs through
Pulp of puss, "please God, what did I do?"
Nowhere to run, no one to call
Pleading for life as your brain hits the wall

Always fun writing DM...
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  #2  
Old 2003-08-01, 20:17
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L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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Whoa, that end was badass. You are very picuresque in your writing but you didn't use anything but everyday language. I've noticed most of the best liked lyric in whatever genre are like that. And it has that ending that's especially appealling. I don't go for the growls for this, but something strong edged with emphasis on the lyric would really sound great. I liked this a lot.
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-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
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  #3  
Old 2003-08-02, 00:51
Alothrysis Alothrysis is offline
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Thank you much for the compliments Just one of those days when everyone gets on you nerves, I think we'll still use growls, perhaps make it more audible to the listener. It'll probably end up being nothing but brutal and fast, so as to keep to the impact I hope to achieve.
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  #4  
Old 2003-08-04, 07:10
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L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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Sounds good to me. Any chance of you posting the finished product?
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #5  
Old 2003-08-04, 07:17
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Nihilist Nihilist is offline
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Very nice.
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