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Old 2003-07-11, 16:16
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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"Tears" --thx 4 reading

A little on the emo side. Metal heads can be emo , too. I have som eideas for this already , but tell me what you think. And thanks for reading.

"Tears"

No one knows what I feel inside
Nobody can sympathize with my pain.
It's hard to explain
When there's nothing to explain.
Myself, I just sit here and cry.

I've cried one tear-
For the way you used to hold me
In those arms that crushed me tight.
I've cried one tear-
For the way you'd kiss me
When I 'd be dreaming of you at night.
I cried another one for the way you looked at me-
Like no others were part of this world.
And the rest are for each day I'll think of you.
My insides like butterflies unfurled.

A new beginning may come tomorrow.
A new light to follow down the road.
But for right now I'll just sit here with tears in my eyes.
I'll sit and cry all alone.

I'll sit here and cry all alone.
I'll just sit here.
I'll stay here.
I'll be waiting here.
And I'll cry all alone.

BJH
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-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #2  
Old 2003-07-11, 19:16
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The first part maybe sound like a "cliche", like word that you say just because they rhyme, but the second and after are good, i like them ...
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Old 2003-07-12, 02:18
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i liked this song a fair bit, u kept it so we normal people can relate......i thought u could have done sumfink diffrent with the ending but......i thought that was the only let down in the song

keep the emo comming
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Old 2003-07-12, 03:35
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Thanks for your comments. The style I had going through my head for this one was similar to "Why" by Annie Lennox. I didn't want to say that right off the bat. I wanted to see some reponses first.

The beginning with the pain and explain (twice) I wasn't sure if I felt comfortable with or not. It's to set the tone.
And the ending just sort of slows and fades. HT at's why the shorter lines.

I have a theory that has come about since I've been 'studying' poetry and lyrics more seriously the past few years, but it's mostly that most songs don't use words people can't relate to. They are done very simply.

Apparently it's been a concern for hundreds of years because some old timer whose name was Gascaglione wrote in one of his books about how big words in verse become tiring after awhile.
It has it's moments and it's fine in some pieces, but my vocabulary isn't that extensive so you're really safe with me !!

Thanks again for your comments.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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