I'd be afraid to ask that cunt anything lest he cast some sort of Jew spell on me. BOOGA WOOGA!

The really interesting part is that you seem to be working from the premise that he hasn't already.

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That'd explain why I've suddenly started liking John Stewart.

Haha nah, I'd never like that talentless Jack (see: Jew hack) even if my foreskin depended on it.

All work and no play... makes me come here and point out that you just committed an odd-numbered post.

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I knew it was just a matter of time before some handsome blonde twat would rectify the problem, which wouldn't be possible in a closed thread.

Well, it's that time again Swede:

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I got really drunk last night and bought a cat. I don't regret it because my cat will live at my friends house, but it's still my bitch

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I wish you could do that with kids. That is, for the owners of said kids to let me - their friend - keep them.

It's called a sleepover dude. A temporary arrangement where you get your friends kids to spend a night at your place.

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Fuuu... so that's what all that was about!

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Children, children. It's not sleepover. It's divorce. Much more permanent and the court tells you when you can see them. Sometimes it's even supervised so it takes the pressure off you as just one person.

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Well that's fucked that idea then.

The whole point is to have someone's children that are not yours

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Because having your own children would just be sick.

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Well your own children get boring after a while, and stop struggling which is really 3/4ths of the fun.

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I've had lots of kids that aren't mine here, but they kept coming back. They're like boogers that keep sticking every which way you try to flick them off.

That's one thing I can never call my kids - boring. Neither has put me on the porch for a long time either, but they're still plotting which crooked home to put me in.

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I'd love to have a kid of my own, savagely fuck her on the eve of her 8th birthday, and then the next day present her with a birthday cake with "You've Been Frtizled!" written on it in marzipan. I bet she'd get a kick out of that.

Marzipan? GOD BLESS AMERICA YOU REALLY ARE GAY!

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God would never bless a nation of Protestant whores who've been busy incinerating the descendent of his son's old hiking buddies in the Middle East.

Besides, I only know about marzipan because it's great for making fake nail bombs for training purposes, and also...some other stuff which is manly and not gay at all, so FUCK YO' CRACKA!

OMG alcohol is great. WE got so drunk my buddy puked 5 times and then we went home just as I was asked to come to the flat of a girlfriend of mine and fuck her
Anyway bro before ho' so I'm cool with that.
Ah yeah and I lost the rest of my honour, somone pissed against my leg because he forgot that he was pissing and wanted to start a conversation with me

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I believe you can successfully repeal any Jew cast spell with 2ml of Gypsy tears, applied on your genitals via eye dropper.

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Or do like Gomli and just have someone pee on your leg. lol

I dare him to come back and read that in 20 years.

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We shall be sure to send his future boss a memo to be certain that nothing will be forgotten.

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That's your official job now. Mark your futuristic calender so whatever you're doing you can come back and make sure it's bumped up and shown to him and his cronies.

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hangover hangover, hung with an over hang. piss bucket.

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BET MINES BETTER!

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Dylan, what the hell is that link in your sig?? I just clicked it for the first time after noticing you changed it from DeadHeadRoses.

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Ahahaha! Paddy did that, along with the entire album it links to. Alien McGreenface is an incredible composer.

Oh yeah, I was suppose to send you shit. I'll get right on it!

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YES. Fucking send it over.... please.

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No. Urine ≠ gypsy tears. Bad advice like that can kill someone, you really ought to be more careful.

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Intention interpretation disorder. It can be a horrible thing.

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Yeah, I mean... when you're dealing with something as serious as Jew spells, you don't fuck around.

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Yeah, I should have known better. I'm older, but not necessarily wiser.

Man, my computer was making some really strange noises recently. It kept sounding like it was saying "testicles." Maybe it was bad juju.

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Let's face it, your computer is gay and is expressing its desires as such. Not saying there's anything wrong with that, no one's judging anyone here, but you might wanna consider all eventualities next time you have a repairman over to lift its hood and have a look.

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0o0o0o!! Bob's fiance called and her daughter is in labor! Everybody PUSH!!! lol I'm gonna be a great grandma again!

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I tried the whole "grandma" thing once. It just didn't turn me on.

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If you can position them right so that their catheter bag doesn't pop and spill all over you it can be enjoyable. Different, but enjoyable.

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If you had said that about a year ago, I'd give it a go. Unfortunately, I've moved on. I totally believe you, though.

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Grandfathers, now...

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Are sexy. Always.

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I have another great grand daughter.

Dylan, there aren't usually cath bags involved in childbirth. The large amount of water is amniotic fluid. I know that's kind of a big word for you, but it can be your new word for today.

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This is considered kiddie porn to L,B'XXX.

No, it's considered I'm gonna ring Chris's neck for getting me to click on it and then it freezing my firefox before it crashed!! butthead.

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And we all know what ringing a black man's neck means where you come from, RACIST.

Richard

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Yeah, Jews too.

Not quite what I meant, Richard.

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If you're calling me a dick then say it, ya slippery roundabout insinuating yank racist Protestant harlot.

HOOAH!

You think you can flatter me with your sweet talk? HA!

Obese fornicating random

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Nah, but I bet I could do it with a sledgehammer.

Distant beagle locator.

I doubt you could even lift a sledgehammer you weak kneed,
ghastly complected, loo sniffer.

Hey, that was pretty good! heehee

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I only sniff loos to remind me why I should never visit your home.

It just struck me, that Paddy using "racist" as a derogatory invective must mean that he does in fact consider that a bad thing and thus feels that all people should be treated equally and with respect. Paddsy holding decent and egalitarian views. Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!

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Yeah, he's a slush and doesn't even know what he's talking about. Typical limey.

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And it will again if you don't button your lip, son.

Who the fuck gave this blonde turnip cunt permission to speak? BACK OF THE BUS, NEUTRAL BOY.

Slush? What the fuck is that? Oh wait, I keep forgetting that you sometimes type phonetically in your thick hick accent. Let's see if I can decipher this:

Slush, boy howdy...yeehar...sloosh...sploosh...hot dawg...dem blacks and Jews...hay ride...rootin' tootin'...

Nah, I give up.

Slush= slut + lush. Don't you limeys know anything?

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I know enough to be grateful for the fact that a passport in Ohio is met with as much enthusiasm as a Koran is in...well, Ohio.

My husband does passports. Have fun with that notion.

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Is that the sequel to Debbie Does Dallas?

Drawing out the racist hypocrisy in the Ginger one was almost as satisfying as the dito visavi quote editing. So thanks for this round and I'd ask if it was good for you too, but I won't seeing as I know that it wasn't.

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hahaha. This page was a good read.

EDIT: the previous page was a good read.

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My balls hurt from not wanking. Its sad that there is no new material in the gore thread and there never will be.

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Oh I just got the greatest idea! Lets have a MT Self-Mutilation thread! We can all chop our balls off and shit. It'll be a blast.

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sounds like a pretty good idea. I have a vice in my garage and several sharp objects, but only a cellphone camera.

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Hahaha. You'd think someone going to such lengths to do something so horrible would be better at documenting it.

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My eldest son that was a self induced eunuch's website already so your idea has already been done.

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Your eldest won was a self induced eunuch's website?

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I'm not sure if this is cryptic or just really weird sentence structure

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DAMN IT PADDY!!! rofl

That's not what I posted!

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I didn't do shit!!!!

hahaha. I wonder what Paddy will do to this post?

Probably nothing, it's not my style baby.

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He didn't! It'd say at the bottom he did.

Chris's note: See?

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clearly the mods are plotting against us...

See how this post says I edited it? It would if Paddy did that. Its clear that LB is now officially senile.

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...or she's simply trying to frame him. Then again, I can't for the life of me see why she'd do that, seeing as there isn't a heinous act of despicable criminality in the world that you wouldn't assume he was guilty of anyway.

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So yea, we've reached our conclusion: she's gone bonkers.

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He edited it to look the same as the background color. I cannot tell a lie. He was partly to blame!! I was talking to my son and his girlfriend, talking to Paddy, and writing on here so technically it IS his fault.

Senile? Paddy has absolute proof that I am. He heard me sing! LAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

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I'm a little bit confuzzled now...
So LB is senile, the mods suck and Amadeus is again writing some shit I don't understand at all. Maybe it's because I worked 14 hours for school yesterday and it's 6am now

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It's not Bobbi's fault. Splashing around in her hick gene pool is a slightly modified humanesque species which has a capped supply of intelligence. When a child is born in Ohio the mother must donate around half of her IQ to the child, so they have half each, and it never replenishes. When one of them dies, the others divide the brain between them and have a feast of what the locals call "City Chicken", bumping each of their IQs up a point. Given that this species has been around since the days of Noah (they didn't need to get on the arc, their flipper hands made it quite easy for them to simply follow closely behind) you can imagine how little brain power is available to them in 2011. To be honest Bobbi deserves a round of applause for even being able to slam her thumbless stumps against the keyboard at all.

THREE CHEERS FOR BOBBI! Actually, make that one cheer, I don't know if she ever learnt her 2s and 3s.

Nah, she's not a bad lass. And she sings like an ANGEL! A really old angel from Hickspittle Hicksville who has to smoke her 80 cigarettes a day through her gaping, necrosis-encrusted tracheotomy.

Don't make fun of my flipper flappin'!! What's a city chicken?

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In keeping with the tradition of toothless backwardness in Hick Tick Village, City Chicken is in fact pork. And that leaves us to surmise that Ohioans refer to actual pork as Irishman's Curds.

Hey, city chicken, breaded or unbreaded, is good as long as it's not made out of beef. That's yucky.

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It's weird that I thought of this guy when I read the words "city chicken". So I read the article and there is actually a strong temporal and geographical connection between the two. I'm still not sure how I made the connection, seeing as I'd never heard of city chicken before, but that's another matter entirely.

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Hm. Y'know. I can totally believe that this is how Tripple-X was actually conceived. After all, why start from scratch when you have all these prime spare parts walking around.

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Chris, that's totally bizarre. I'd never heard about that. And the names they did give sound Italian. Lots of those, Jews, and Polish people over there. How you made the connection with city chicken is beyond me. Maybe you're standing too close to me and I'm wearing off on you.

Amadeus, ever heard the song "Dry Bones?"

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I can't believe more people haven't heard of that. There isn't a more interesting case study to be found in the entire history of this country.

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Ahahahaha

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My husband had, but he was more into Elliot Ness than I was. And he's a cradle robber from closer to there, but he reads lots of books so he may have heard that way.

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Once Was Not is THE quintessential Cryptopsy album.

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No it isn't, Flibberty Jibberty is

Happy birthday, mrweijia, wherever you are.

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Probably floating down the Shinano river.

EDIT: he's Asian, right?

The police just don't like me. I don't know why but somehow they don't like me.

WIR HASSEN PAULI, WIR HASSEN BRAUNSCHWEIG UUUUUUUND WIR HASSEN HOLSTEIN KIEL!

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You're joking, right?

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Gomli, what's this about a cow? I saw holstein in there.

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I don't know why but it really "clicks" with me. I'm loving everything about it. The fucked up dried up worn out vocals, the FUCK YOU I'M DE DRUMMER I WANT LOUD effect, the style of riffing, ...

Of course NSV is really cool and all but this one is just right for me.

Tried learning Endless Cemetary by ear today, couldn't stop yelling "GUYS GUYS GUYS CALM


THE FUCK


DOWN" all the time, actually had to write the structure down for the first time in ages.

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The album isn't so bad, there are a few songs I dig, but they've done so, so much better.

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Shitty cockhead.

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You should have told Dylan's mother to have an enema first.

There was no Rapture yesterday. I'm still here.

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That's because you're a Protestant. You'll be serving your time on earth with the rest of us.