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  #1  
Old 2011-02-10, 08:06
Paddy Paddy is offline
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Dear Steve: An Open Letter to a Bastard

You swan around here like you aren't an infected anus, and you parade your trophy girlfriend in front of our very faces as if we need reminding that you're punching above your weight like Vern Troyer taking a swing at Giant Haystacks. Surely it'd be less hassle to actually grow a real beard than to go through this 24/7 gay charade of maintaining a metaphorical one. Maybe it's time to pass the fucking ball mate, ya feel me?

In the meantime, have a lovely - and preferably chaste - birthday.

Yours,
the undersigned. And me, Paddy.



STEVE FOR THE WIN!
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  #2  
Old 2011-02-10, 08:33
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DameFraMorkum DameFraMorkum is offline
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Not even sure what to make of the above.

Anyway, Happy Birthday my love! Hope you celebrate with a thrashtastic alcoholocaust.
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  #3  
Old 2011-02-10, 08:48
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Happy your-parents-fucked-like-wild-otters-once day!

I lift this bubbling alka-seltzer filled styrofoam cup up to you.
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  #4  
Old 2011-02-10, 08:51
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Hey, happy birthday, ya old fart.

From,
Another old fart
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-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #5  
Old 2011-02-10, 09:38
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Amadeus Amadeus is offline
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Have a good one!
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Listening to Cannibal Corpse and cutting trees with a chainsaw, now that's metal

"He preferred the hard truth over his dearest illusion. That, is the heart of science."
- Carl Sagan

"Imagination is more important than intelligence" - Einstein
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  #6  
Old 2011-02-10, 22:01
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johnmansley johnmansley is offline
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There are three things that need banging in life: drums, girls and one's head
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Last edited by johnmansley : 2011-02-11 at 03:39.
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  #7  
Old 2011-02-10, 23:15
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Gomli Gomli is offline
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SSSSSSSLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYEEEEEEEER
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C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
Pour ces bois obscurs maintenant endormis.


R.I.P moe
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  #8  
Old 2011-02-11, 09:08
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Chris Rezendes Chris Rezendes is offline
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MetalThrashingFag. Fuck ye, Steve!
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  #9  
Old 2011-02-11, 09:48
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Dyldo Dyldo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by johnmansley
There are three things that need banging in life: drums, girls and one's head

I am so stealing this.
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  #10  
Old 2011-02-12, 12:06
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Steve, you need to drink a lot. A LOT. Happy birthday, drink lots of Arrogant Bastard.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Sex is free if you don't mind spending most of your night in the bushes with both a balaclava and an overblown sense of entitlement.
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  #11  
Old 2011-02-13, 04:59
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DameFraMorkum DameFraMorkum is offline
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Hey Mike, are you gonna be at Deathfest this year?
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  #12  
Old 2011-02-13, 05:20
Requiem Requiem is offline
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Fuck you Steve, I thought this thread was made for the cool Steve.

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  #13  
Old 2011-03-01, 09:43
PST 88 PST 88 is offline
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Is there a cool Steve? I don't know of one.
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  #14  
Old 2011-03-01, 18:05
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DameFraMorkum
Hey Mike, are you gonna be at Deathfest this year?


No I am not Art thou?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Sex is free if you don't mind spending most of your night in the bushes with both a balaclava and an overblown sense of entitlement.
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  #15  
Old 2011-03-01, 18:19
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Chris Rezendes Chris Rezendes is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PST 88
Is there a cool Steve? I don't know of one.


FearFrost is almost decent. I mean, as decent as anyone with a shit name like Steve could be, anyway.

Seriously, anyone named Steve should be mandated by law to be pimply and mullet-headed with a horrible, teenage-quality mustache. Proper, government issued (and enforced) attire for a so-called "Steve" would consist of stained, greasy wifebeaters, nuthugging jeans, and horrible denim vests for the balance of their existence on this Earth. You know, like a 16 year old at a Slayer concert in 1985. That is the proper aesthetic for the accursed name "Steve".

Fucking Steves.
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  #16  
Old 2011-03-02, 05:59
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DameFraMorkum DameFraMorkum is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YOUR_GOD_IS_DEAD
No I am not Art thou?



Yup I'll be there. And aside from the pimples and the greasy wifebeater, Chris, that sounds a lot like Steve at 16!
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  #17  
Old 2011-03-02, 06:33
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L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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My neighbor's big orange cat is named Steve. It was a stray that appeared after their daughter died tragically. Her dad always wanted a cat called Steve. He must weigh 25 pounds and sounds like a lion when he purrs.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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