LOL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oisc4CZeAI

__________________

WHAT THE FUCK!?


"Notice the copyright symbols after her son's name."

__________________

Hahaha the pictures of the kid have me cracking up. For some reason all I could think of was Chris circa pre-weight training. I imagine if we were granted access to Chris' family photo albums all of the pictures of him as a kid would involve a thumbs-up and a self-assuredly smug grin, for he knew even then that he was destined for Greatness™. Plus we'd also get to see his dad's ginger afro, the half-Irish stallion that he is.

It's obviously a piss-take, though. Please GOD let it be a piss-take.

Yours,
Paddy © 2010

I like the comment on that one "philo`surf`em" :O

A few of you guyses will be entertained by this one here Klick me I`ma link okeh?!

__________________

Haha, fuck me. This has got to be a joke. That picture of the painter painting Chris' face killed me. Did you read the fucking demands? $1,500 Walmart giftcard for 9 years? Free college funding up to a Masters? 10 day, for 2 years, free fully accomodated roundtrip vacation for 5 people? 21 day trip to Africa? All utilities paid for 9 years? And thats just the ones I glanced over.

__________________

would not shock me if it was legit. there are lots of crazy black power people.

The one thing that makes me believe it might be legit is that its actually 40 pages. That's a bit too far for a joke and reeks of a madness.

__________________

I probably would slap that kid for no reason either, but he was probably being a little brat. The obvious has been said.

__________________

Haven't you been reading my posts all these years? I spend about 40 pages on the thread titles alone.

Assuming it's real, I love how fucking hysterically convoluted the description of the slap, its effects and its implications for the future of humankind is. This kid ain't no goddamn Rosa Parks. "I was just standing there, playing fighty-fights with my classmate, and then this bitch racistified all over my face with her jackgloved hand!".

Teachers are cunts anyway, so I hope she does get a phone call from Obama telling her what a fat fuckin' jaded control freak cunting sadistic ritual-humiliation-dishing-out cuntibastard she is. And that goes for the rest of 'em, too.

Haha I just remembered something about my school. It was so underfunded and had so little manpower that my home economics teacher was also my science teacher. Out of the frying pan and into an explanation of photosynthesis! If you're thinking "but she must have known her stuff if she was teaching those classes!" you're big wrong. Here's something I learnt in science class:

"Blood is blue. It only turns red when it hits the air. If you look at your arms the veins are blue, so blood is therefore blue."

"But miss, didn't you just tell us that blood carries oxygen? If that's true why doesn't it turn red from that?"

"HE'S A WITCH, BURN HIM! BURN HIS FACE!"

"Also, when you have blood drawn it's sucked directly from your vein into an air-tight capsule, and the blood is red."

"FUCK YOU! 9 MILLION HOURS DETENTION!"

Retard fucking cunt. She was a right bitch, too. Dumb AND a bastard, what a package! That was true of the vast majority of the teachers there. The ones who were cool all fucked off to real schools the first chance they got.

Fuck, I told ya Dylan!

Jesus. I'm assuming it also didn't say that in any of your text books, right? If it did then you're school wasn't underfunded, it was one of those extremely malnourished pregnant man babies from Africasomething.

I can only think of one teacher that was pretty retarded. He was the high school Physiology teacher and he had a "doctorate" in... chiropractic. As much as that makes me shudder, I ignored it, but this guy would spew out the same kind of scientific bullshit. When the psuedoscientific "facts" started leaking out it made me nauseous. I ended up dropping the class.

__________________

Oh, you're not alone in your misery. My students' text book chapter on trigonometry starts with a very short definition of the tan operator and then sums it up with "On your calculator there's a button called tan"...
Our entire school system is in shambles.

Personally though, I lucked out in the extreme. My science teacher was the exact opposite of yours. He actually took the time to hold a sort of extra class for those of us that he decided didn't have any excuse not to get good grades. He had us learning to use the basic logistic equations, examine sunspots, photograph the night sky (I fucking freezed my nose off in that jolly little assignment) and generally crunch physics, chemistry and biology to a level way beyond the curriculum. Damn does that guy deserves a cannonade and two F-18 fighters doing barrel rolls at his funeral.

__________________

If you guys have had some good teachers, even if you learned something other than regular classroom stuff, let them know. They're generally happy to hear it.

__________________

My structural engineering teacher is really good. but they took him off the ballot for best construction management teacher because he won it too many times, so im not gonna try and get extra credit

I feel like making a guitar pro contest again. The thing is, probably only two people will enter and it just wont be as cool.

__________________

I'd enter.

__________________

Okay. Pray for me guys and gals. I'm singing with my friend today in front of about 40 people and I haven't done this in over 30 years. I'm beginning to get a little nervous now.

__________________

Ouuuu sounds stressful. I mean, under 40 it's still all fun and games, relaxed lil' crowd, and over 40 is quite chill aswell, since the crowd "loses its face" from that number upwards, making it a looot less stressful, but FORTY?

Now that's the number when a crowd becomes a bunch of critics wanting to prove themselves to the other people in the room, shouting remarks at the stage, ostentatiously leaving the room early and naaaaaah kidding you'll do fine mothertabs. Just don't eat a lot beforehand.

__________________

Oden is with you!

Whoever of the mods banned Dystopia, PM me and I`ll get to your place and suck your dick 1 week without a break.

__________________

Paddy did, the lucky bastard. I hope you like cheese.

__________________

Just picture everyone naked. And wet. Picture me naked, too. Picture me standing behind you on stage, waiting for the right moment to push you off into the crowd of nude, wet onlookers and picture the subsequent slapping sound as they all fall into each other like big meaty dominoes, and then picture yourself wondering why you're still hearing that same sound even though no one else is falling over, and then picture the moment when you realise that the sound is actually me masturbating furiously from behind the stage curtain. If you do all that I'm sure it'll all go swimmingly.

I'm not going to say "don't be nervous, enjoy it!" because the last time I heard that I was savagely corn-holed by large Turk in peekaboo Speedos™.

Break a leg when I push you.

It was only a month's suspension; does that get me a handjob?

Correctified!

Wolfie! Why didn't you tell me not to drink too much coffee beforehand!! I didn't eat, but I think most of the nerves were from coffee. But once I started singing I got my groove and we had fun singing "If My Nose Was Running Money I'd Blow It All Over You". (Quiet Paddy. I know your brain is going into overload thinking of smart remarks about that one!) One person actually knew the song which was cool.
It was crazy because the first time I heard it was yesterday, and I had to make up the harmony on my own. We sounded good. But then when my friend did her second song you could have heard a pin drop. Absolutely beautiful.
Now I'm getting bugged to sing in the church choir. lol A monster has been created.

And then I see Dyspepsia gets canned? wow.

__________________