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  #1  
Old 2010-10-09, 18:36
Paddy Paddy is offline
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Nope, Still Ain't Dead

What does it take to kill this bitch? She's already as old as dirt and has a prosthetic wooden arse infested with termites, not to mention the fact that she birthed two apt metaphors for the Pro Choice argument who were voted Most Likely to Commit Matricide in their school year books. Even Kevorkian had a look at her case notes at my behest and strapped himself into his own Death Chair™ 3 days later, leaving behind a one-word suicide note: "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!".

Unless we can get a hold of Buffy the Vampire Slayer we're just gonna have to brick her into a wall and then brick the bricked wall into a second, thicker wall, and then set fire to it.

Happy birthday Bobbi,
With tits like molten putty,
Ass swinging freely like a hammock,
And sons who still use a potty.
And a husband who must have some serious fucking problems to have let you anywhere near his soft, pink body.

112 years young today, Bobbi is a wonderful resource for us young'ns. She's an open history book and we should take advantage of her encyclopaedic and - let's be honest - first-hand knowledge of the bronze age. She was at the birth of Christ (slopping out the camels) and has been on first-name terms with him ever since, she witnessed JFK's assassination from a handy spot just behind the fence on the grassy knoll *cough* and was the first white woman to let a black woman pick her cotton (euphemism? You be the judge. Clue: yes).

Have a good one MotherTabses!!!!!!!!!1!1!!



Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Yep, won't be long before you start smelling of weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
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  #2  
Old 2010-10-09, 19:16
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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Kiss my splintery wooden spoon, Paddy.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #3  
Old 2010-10-09, 23:47
BassBehemoth's Avatar
BassBehemoth BassBehemoth is offline
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haha, Paddy is so fucked as always.


Happy Birthday Bobbi! Have a great one!
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Bitches, Hoes And Corn Rows.

Quote:
Originally Posted by moe_blunts
you done told me lots of thangs bout beer n shit and canada. have a grand ol cunt of a good time.


RIP moe.
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  #4  
Old 2010-10-10, 04:17
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Amadeus Amadeus is offline
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Congrats on yet another year in the collection!
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Listening to Cannibal Corpse and cutting trees with a chainsaw, now that's metal

"He preferred the hard truth over his dearest illusion. That, is the heart of science."
- Carl Sagan

"Imagination is more important than intelligence" - Einstein
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  #5  
Old 2010-10-10, 04:26
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Gomli Gomli is offline
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The older you get the faster the years move away. It must seem to you, Bobbi, that there`s a birthday thread for you every second day

Have a good one MotherTab
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C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
Pour ces bois obscurs maintenant endormis.


R.I.P moe
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  #6  
Old 2010-10-10, 06:54
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L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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Thanks guys. And may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your mother's armpits.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #7  
Old 2010-10-10, 08:04
Paddy Paddy is offline
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Ahhh you know we don't really mean it! (do)

Any plans for the big day, Boobi?
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  #8  
Old 2010-10-10, 10:36
drawn&quartered's Avatar
drawn&quartered drawn&quartered is offline
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Happy birthday mom
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I dont have any funny quotes

NEGROGENESIS


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  #9  
Old 2010-10-10, 11:01
Requiem Requiem is offline
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Happy birthday to the only female member of MT that we don't harass with the saying "tits or gtfo".

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  #10  
Old 2010-10-10, 13:02
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L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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Req', surely you've forgotten my bikini pictures. I've tried to. lol I can't get the ole girls into a head and shoulders shot now without including my knees, or was that niece?, so I guess you'll just have to think of my face with Raquel Welch's body only younger. Got that?

Went to mom's and she forced me to help peel apples for pie. I get pie later. She makes the bestest pie. And when the ole guy gets finished mowing we're heading to Bobert's to visit and maybe eat a little something if I know his girlfriend. My grandson called me earlier so that was great!! He's quite the little man almost 12 now.

You guys are the greatest, but then again, I'm getting a little senile. I think I qualify for a Golden Buckeye card now which means I can get discounts you can't! HAH HAH! *cough, cough, hack, sputter, drool* -Umm, now I have a Christmas present for Paddy.heheheh

<- the ole bat
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #11  
Old 2010-10-10, 13:27
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SoarAndEnvision SoarAndEnvision is offline
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Happy birthday!
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  #12  
Old 2010-10-11, 02:01
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johnmansley johnmansley is offline
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Congrats, Bobbi - I think I speak for all of us when I say I never expected you to make it this far!!

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Red Sparowes - At the Soundless Dawn
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  #13  
Old 2010-10-11, 06:31
Paddy Paddy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
Req', surely you've forgotten my bikini pictures. I've tried to. lol I can't get the ole girls into a head and shoulders shot now without including my knees, or was that niece?, so I guess you'll just have to think of my face with Raquel Welch's body only younger. Got that?
One Millions Years BC sounds about right.

Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
Went to mom's and she forced me to help peel apples for pie. I get pie later. She makes the bestest pie. And when the ole guy gets finished mowing we're heading to Bobert's to visit and maybe eat a little something if I know his girlfriend. My grandson called me earlier so that was great!! He's quite the little man almost 12 now.
As difficult as this is for me I'm going to ignore this entire paragraph and it's numerous opportunities for gut-busting laughter because it's your birthday and I don't wanna push my luck

Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
You guys are the greatest, but then again, I'm getting a little senile. I think I qualify for a Golden Buckeye card now which means I can get discounts you can't! HAH HAH! *cough, cough, hack, sputter, drool* -Umm, now I have a Christmas present for Paddy.heheheh
Anything's better than that curiously savoury chocolate log you sent last year. I'm almost certain that there's no such thing as sweetcorn flavoured cocoa, nor does chocolate come packaged in the helmet of a Hazmat suit, and yet that's exactly how I found it on Christmas morning...
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  #14  
Old 2010-10-11, 10:39
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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Thanks guys. Just think about it. If you were in my bday thread last year and the year before and the year before, etc. what kind of life do you have? Paddy, I think you're the exception. And I have the darlings at metaltabs for teaching me the meaning of milf. Yeah, I had to ask some canuck here what it was.

I got some money and other presents, but hubby didn't get me the new toilet seat yet like he said he would. Oh well. Bob's g/f made a huge pot of chili and got a decorated cake with strawberry filling that was really good so I got a happy tummy, too. All in all, with the exception of having to help push our broke down tractor, it was a-ok.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #15  
Old 2010-10-11, 11:44
Paddy Paddy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
Paddy, I think you're exceptional.
Fixtededtedtedt.

Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
And I have the darlings at metaltabs for teaching me the meaning of milf. Yeah, I had to ask some canuck here what it was.
I think the term "MILF" is generally a little misleading when we're talking about a breed of woman who's pussy is so old it requires regular séances. Just to be clear: I'm not saying that about you, Bobbi. I may be suicidal but I'm not a masochist!

Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
I got some money and other presents, but hubby didn't get me the new toilet seat yet like he said he would. Oh well.
Is it one of those ones with the big handles and the winching gear?
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  #16  
Old 2010-10-11, 12:48
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Dyldo Dyldo is offline
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Since you're old and shit, if you need someone to check for lumps, let me know. I got an old hazmat suit.
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Check my band out:
facebook.com/deadheadroses
deadheadroses.bandcamp.com
deadheadrosesmusic.com
i'm so ronrey
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  #17  
Old 2010-10-11, 12:58
Paddy Paddy is offline
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Shit, don't say that! The last time she had a pair of lumps checked they survived into adulthood.
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  #18  
Old 2010-10-11, 15:51
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Dyldo Dyldo is offline
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Are you talking about her prepubescent budding chest or her kids?
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Check my band out:
facebook.com/deadheadroses
deadheadroses.bandcamp.com
deadheadrosesmusic.com
i'm so ronrey
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  #19  
Old 2010-10-11, 16:04
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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Paddy, yer walking on thin ice, bud.

I'm pretty sure he means the boys. They were definitely lumps! Megalumps at that!
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #20  
Old 2010-10-11, 16:13
Paddy Paddy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dyldo
Are you talking about her prepubescent budding chest or her kids?
Leatherface and Hannibal Lecter, of course!

Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
Paddy, yer walking on thin ice, bud.
I said I wasn't talking about you! I saaaaid!!!
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