What does it take to kill this bitch? She's already as old as dirt and has a prosthetic wooden arse infested with termites, not to mention the fact that she birthed two apt metaphors for the Pro Choice argument who were voted Most Likely to Commit Matricide in their school year books. Even Kevorkian had a look at her case notes at my behest and strapped himself into his own Death Chair™ 3 days later, leaving behind a one-word suicide note: "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!".

Unless we can get a hold of Buffy the Vampire Slayer we're just gonna have to brick her into a wall and then brick the bricked wall into a second, thicker wall, and then set fire to it.

Happy birthday Bobbi,
With tits like molten putty,
Ass swinging freely like a hammock,
And sons who still use a potty.
And a husband who must have some serious fucking problems to have let you anywhere near his soft, pink body.

112 years young today, Bobbi is a wonderful resource for us young'ns. She's an open history book and we should take advantage of her encyclopaedic and - let's be honest - first-hand knowledge of the bronze age. She was at the birth of Christ (slopping out the camels) and has been on first-name terms with him ever since, she witnessed JFK's assassination from a handy spot just behind the fence on the grassy knoll *cough* and was the first white woman to let a black woman pick her cotton (euphemism? You be the judge. Clue: yes).

Have a good one MotherTabses!!!!!!!!!1!1!!



Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Yep, won't be long before you start smelling of weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Kiss my splintery wooden spoon, Paddy.

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haha, Paddy is so fucked as always.


Happy Birthday Bobbi! Have a great one!

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Congrats on yet another year in the collection!

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The older you get the faster the years move away. It must seem to you, Bobbi, that there`s a birthday thread for you every second day

Have a good one MotherTab

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Thanks guys. And may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your mother's armpits.

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Ahhh you know we don't really mean it! (do)

Any plans for the big day, Boobi?

Happy birthday mom

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Happy birthday to the only female member of MT that we don't harass with the saying "tits or gtfo".

Req', surely you've forgotten my bikini pictures. I've tried to. lol I can't get the ole girls into a head and shoulders shot now without including my knees, or was that niece?, so I guess you'll just have to think of my face with Raquel Welch's body only younger. Got that?

Went to mom's and she forced me to help peel apples for pie. I get pie later. She makes the bestest pie. And when the ole guy gets finished mowing we're heading to Bobert's to visit and maybe eat a little something if I know his girlfriend. My grandson called me earlier so that was great!! He's quite the little man almost 12 now.

You guys are the greatest, but then again, I'm getting a little senile. I think I qualify for a Golden Buckeye card now which means I can get discounts you can't! HAH HAH! *cough, cough, hack, sputter, drool* -Umm, now I have a Christmas present for Paddy.heheheh

<- the ole bat

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Happy birthday!

Congrats, Bobbi - I think I speak for all of us when I say I never expected you to make it this far!!

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One Millions Years BC sounds about right.

As difficult as this is for me I'm going to ignore this entire paragraph and it's numerous opportunities for gut-busting laughter because it's your birthday and I don't wanna push my luck

Anything's better than that curiously savoury chocolate log you sent last year. I'm almost certain that there's no such thing as sweetcorn flavoured cocoa, nor does chocolate come packaged in the helmet of a Hazmat suit, and yet that's exactly how I found it on Christmas morning...

Thanks guys. Just think about it. If you were in my bday thread last year and the year before and the year before, etc. what kind of life do you have? Paddy, I think you're the exception. And I have the darlings at metaltabs for teaching me the meaning of milf. Yeah, I had to ask some canuck here what it was.

I got some money and other presents, but hubby didn't get me the new toilet seat yet like he said he would. Oh well. Bob's g/f made a huge pot of chili and got a decorated cake with strawberry filling that was really good so I got a happy tummy, too. All in all, with the exception of having to help push our broke down tractor, it was a-ok.

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Fixtededtedtedt.

I think the term "MILF" is generally a little misleading when we're talking about a breed of woman who's pussy is so old it requires regular séances. Just to be clear: I'm not saying that about you, Bobbi. I may be suicidal but I'm not a masochist!

Is it one of those ones with the big handles and the winching gear?

Since you're old and shit, if you need someone to check for lumps, let me know. I got an old hazmat suit.

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Shit, don't say that! The last time she had a pair of lumps checked they survived into adulthood.

Are you talking about her prepubescent budding chest or her kids?

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Paddy, yer walking on thin ice, bud.

I'm pretty sure he means the boys. They were definitely lumps! Megalumps at that!

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Leatherface and Hannibal Lecter, of course!

I said I wasn't talking about you! I saaaaid!!!