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  #1  
Old 2010-06-13, 08:09
Last Man Standing Last Man Standing is offline
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Keep Ur Mouth Shut !

you closed your eyes
before the truth
you turned away
when you should look

you tell lies
you better keep your mouth shut
you tell lies
you better keep your mouth shut
you better
keep your mouth shut
keep your fucking mouth shut!

another lie
you told today
it's a lie after lie
stop now!
or else i swear
i'll make u cry
you might die!

you tell lies
you better keep your mouth shut
you tell lies
you better keep your mouth shut
you better
keep your mouth shut
keep your fucking mouth shut!

(solo)

you tell lies
you better keep your mouth shut
you tell lies
you better keep your mouth shut
you better
keep your mouth shut
keep your fucking mouth shut!

I'll beat the shit out of you
i'll break your fucking jaw
tell one more,just one more
tell one more,and it'll be your last

you tell lies
you better keep your mouth shut
you tell lies
you better keep your mouth shut
you better
keep your mouth shut
keep your fucking mouth shut!


thank you for reading,please comment on it !
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  #2  
Old 2010-06-13, 09:53
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moe_blunts moe_blunts is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Last Man Standing
i'll make u cry
you might die!




damn dawg,

dats straight up poetry rite dur.
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  #3  
Old 2010-06-13, 10:47
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L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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Sounds like someone's oatmeal got whizzed in. I suppose it would work. It's basic anger with a thought process. No distractions as to what the anger is about so it's versatile in that way. Not really anything this old lady would do much with, but I'm just one person. Someone could either incite a riot or at least get out some frustration playing, singing, or screaming it.
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  #4  
Old 2010-06-14, 16:09
Last Man Standing Last Man Standing is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moe_blunts
damn dawg,

dats straight up poetry rite dur.



thanks man cheers!
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  #5  
Old 2010-06-17, 02:29
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Chris Rezendes Chris Rezendes is offline
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Dystopia alt account? Maybe just his long-lost twin. Could also be any random 14 year old.
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  #6  
Old 2010-06-18, 04:39
Last Man Standing Last Man Standing is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Rezendes
Dystopia alt account? Maybe just his long-lost twin. Could also be any random 14 year old.



What are u talkin' 'bout man...who's dystopia?? don't know the guy ( guessing he's a guy) .. and i'm certainly not 14 year old...i'm 18 in fact

comment on the lyrics... cheers my friend
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  #7  
Old 2010-06-18, 06:08
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Amadeus Amadeus is offline
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It has a workable structure with perhaps a hint of a good flow.

However. Nothing original and repetitive in a way that doesn't add anything. To be honest it just brought my thoughts to any given emo band of your choice, falsetto screaming with all the soulful power of an enraged beetle.

As for the Dystopia hint, just have a look around the forum. It'll soon be clear.
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  #8  
Old 2010-06-18, 09:15
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I love how he don`t get it

but srsly strait up poetry
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  #9  
Old 2010-06-18, 09:39
Paddy Paddy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Last Man Standing
you might die!
I love the element of uncertainty here. It's like "I may kill ya, I may not, it depends, I haven't made up my mind yet, we'll see how it goes".

Reading the lyrics as poetry they don't come across very well, but that could be said of pretty much all lyrics in general and metal lyrics in particular. With the right music and the right vocalist I don't think it matters too much, and I've definitely read worse from established bands/artists.
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  #10  
Old 2010-06-18, 10:10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Last Man Standing
you might die!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
I love the element of uncertainty here.


Ahahahahaha.

You guys can't smell the troll? It sounds like a third-grader with a potty mouth trying to imitate Minor Threat lyrics.
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  #11  
Old 2010-06-18, 11:16
Last Man Standing Last Man Standing is offline
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Amadeus - i looked around the forum...i know now who dystopia is...

Gomli - who doesn't get it? what? ... and thank you for "but srsly strait up poetry"

Dyldo - troll? third-grader? ..u know,let me tell u a secret...a third-grader CAN read, you CAN'T...obviously...in my last post here i said i'm 18 ... now...when u learn to read than come back and read the lyrics again and than give me a constructive opinion...

oh,and Chris R. .... what did u mean when u said i'm dystopias lost twin..was the way i write?...my writing ain't nothin' like his..i read his last lyrics here...they suck..he's an idiot...haha... i write much better...

Last edited by Last Man Standing : 2010-06-18 at 11:21.
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  #12  
Old 2010-06-18, 11:30
Paddy Paddy is offline
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What about me?? I said nice things!

Fine, you just lost yourself a handjob, and I was gonna do it without a glove and everything.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Last Man Standing
oh,and Chris R. .... what did u mean when u said i'm dystopias lost twin..was the way i write?...my writing ain't nothin' like his..i read his last lyrics here...they suck..he's an idiot...haha... i write much better...
Welcome to the forum, my friend!
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  #13  
Old 2010-06-18, 12:05
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Paddy, you're being way to nice and chatty with this troll. I fear your commitment to mod hood.
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  #14  
Old 2010-06-18, 12:18
Paddy Paddy is offline
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Haha if he's a troll he's the most dedicated I've ever seen; he's been posting this stuff for over a year now. Even I gave up talking about midgets after that long.
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  #15  
Old 2010-06-18, 12:19
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No one is this retarded. Maybe I'm just in denial, but I just can't believe it. I couldn't go on living if I thought the human race had the capacity for such retardation.
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Last edited by Dyldo : 2010-06-18 at 12:33.
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  #16  
Old 2010-06-18, 13:51
Paddy Paddy is offline
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HAHAHA! Well, in his defence I think it's safe to say that English isn't his first language, so that's probably worth taking into account, plus the general thrust of the content is as aimless and gratuitous as any other metal song I've heard from most of the bands discussed here, albeit in a slightly less readable form. Look at Cannibal Corpse; the most retarded, pointless, structureless nonsense you could ever write, and it does sound like it was written by a 13-year-old trying to gross out his friends. Lyrics like that don't really require proper analysis, because it's like trying to write a thesis on the exact moment at which paint dries.
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  #17  
Old 2010-06-18, 14:07
Last Man Standing Last Man Standing is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
What about me?? I said nice things!

Fine, you just lost yourself a handjob, and I was gonna do it without a glove and everything.

Welcome to the forum, my friend!



Special thanks to paddy thank you my friend
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  #18  
Old 2010-06-18, 14:11
Last Man Standing Last Man Standing is offline
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And no...english isn't my first language ...

Dyldo - what's your problem man? need a handjob? hahaha

Paddy - don't give him a handjob... and thanks for talkin in my defence
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  #19  
Old 2010-06-18, 14:17
Paddy Paddy is offline
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Me and you against the world, LMS! Dyldo is just jealous of our burgeoning [sexual] relationship
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  #20  
Old 2010-06-18, 15:10
Last Man Standing Last Man Standing is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Me and you against the world, LMS! Dyldo is just jealous of our burgeoning [sexual] relationship


haha irishman is crazy ( coz' the crazy talk on burgeoning relationship ) nah,just kiddin' , and i'm totally with you on u and me against the world ...kill the fuckers aaaaaaaa aaaaaaaa aaaaaaaa hahaha cheers my friend

Last edited by Last Man Standing : 2010-06-18 at 15:14.
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