2010-06-13, 08:09
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New Blood
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 32
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Keep Ur Mouth Shut !
you closed your eyes
before the truth
you turned away
when you should look
you tell lies
you better keep your mouth shut
you tell lies
you better keep your mouth shut
you better
keep your mouth shut
keep your fucking mouth shut!
another lie
you told today
it's a lie after lie
stop now!
or else i swear
i'll make u cry
you might die!
you tell lies
you better keep your mouth shut
you tell lies
you better keep your mouth shut
you better
keep your mouth shut
keep your fucking mouth shut!
(solo)
you tell lies
you better keep your mouth shut
you tell lies
you better keep your mouth shut
you better
keep your mouth shut
keep your fucking mouth shut!
I'll beat the shit out of you
i'll break your fucking jaw
tell one more,just one more
tell one more,and it'll be your last
you tell lies
you better keep your mouth shut
you tell lies
you better keep your mouth shut
you better
keep your mouth shut
keep your fucking mouth shut!
thank you for reading,please comment on it !
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2010-06-13, 09:53
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wigger/redneck/drunkard
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: austin tx
Posts: 2,237
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Last Man Standing
i'll make u cry
you might die!
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damn dawg,
dats straight up poetry rite dur. |
2010-06-13, 10:47
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,834
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Sounds like someone's oatmeal got whizzed in. I suppose it would work. It's basic anger with a thought process. No distractions as to what the anger is about so it's versatile in that way. Not really anything this old lady would do much with, but I'm just one person. Someone could either incite a riot or at least get out some frustration playing, singing, or screaming it.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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2010-06-14, 16:09
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New Blood
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 32
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by moe_blunts
damn dawg,
dats straight up poetry rite dur.
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thanks man cheers!  |
2010-06-17, 02:29
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Attorney at Bird Law
Forum Leader
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: Alone here, with emptiness, eagles, and snow...
Posts: 3,556
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Dystopia alt account? Maybe just his long-lost twin. Could also be any random 14 year old.
__________________
Trust in god, he'll give you shoes!
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2010-06-18, 04:39
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New Blood
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 32
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Chris Rezendes
Dystopia alt account? Maybe just his long-lost twin. Could also be any random 14 year old.
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What are u talkin' 'bout man...who's dystopia?? don't know the guy ( guessing he's a guy) .. and i'm certainly not 14 year old...i'm 18 in fact
comment on the lyrics... cheers my friend |
2010-06-18, 06:08
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Quantum.
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,111
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It has a workable structure with perhaps a hint of a good flow.
However. Nothing original and repetitive in a way that doesn't add anything. To be honest it just brought my thoughts to any given emo band of your choice, falsetto screaming with all the soulful power of an enraged beetle.
As for the Dystopia hint, just have a look around the forum. It'll soon be clear.
__________________
Listening to Slipknot and cutting yourself is ridiculous
Listening to Cannibal Corpse and cutting trees with a chainsaw, now that's metal
"He preferred the hard truth over his dearest illusion. That, is the heart of science."
- Carl Sagan
"Imagination is more important than intelligence" - Einstein
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2010-06-18, 09:15
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ComeOutYeBlackAndTans!
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Ger., North
Posts: 2,593
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I love how he don`t get it
but srsly strait up poetry
__________________
C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
Pour ces bois obscurs maintenant endormis.
R.I.P moe
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2010-06-18, 09:39
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Forum Daemon
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,745
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Last Man Standing
you might die!
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I love the element of uncertainty here. It's like "I may kill ya, I may not, it depends, I haven't made up my mind yet, we'll see how it goes".
Reading the lyrics as poetry they don't come across very well, but that could be said of pretty much all lyrics in general and metal lyrics in particular. With the right music and the right vocalist I don't think it matters too much, and I've definitely read worse from established bands/artists. |
2010-06-18, 10:10
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Throbbing Member
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Californeeway
Posts: 7,898
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Last Man Standing
you might die!
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Paddy
I love the element of uncertainty here.
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Ahahahahaha.
You guys can't smell the troll? It sounds like a third-grader with a potty mouth trying to imitate Minor Threat lyrics.
__________________
Check my band out:
facebook.com/deadheadroses
deadheadroses.bandcamp.com
deadheadrosesmusic.com
i'm so ronrey
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2010-06-18, 11:16
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New Blood
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 32
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Amadeus - i looked around the forum...i know now who dystopia is...
Gomli - who doesn't get it? what? ... and thank you for "but srsly strait up poetry"
Dyldo - troll? third-grader? ..u know,let me tell u a secret...a third-grader CAN read, you CAN'T...obviously...in my last post here i said i'm 18 ... now...when u learn to read than come back and read the lyrics again and than give me a constructive opinion...
oh,and Chris R. .... what did u mean when u said i'm dystopias lost twin..was the way i write?...my writing ain't nothin' like his..i read his last lyrics here...they suck..he's an idiot...haha... i write much better... 
Last edited by Last Man Standing : 2010-06-18 at 11:21.
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2010-06-18, 11:30
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Forum Daemon
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,745
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What about me?? I said nice things! 
Fine, you just lost yourself a handjob, and I was gonna do it without a glove and everything.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Last Man Standing
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Welcome to the forum, my friend! |
2010-06-18, 12:05
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Throbbing Member
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Californeeway
Posts: 7,898
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Paddy, you're being way to nice and chatty with this troll. I fear your commitment to mod hood.
__________________
Check my band out:
facebook.com/deadheadroses
deadheadroses.bandcamp.com
deadheadrosesmusic.com
i'm so ronrey
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2010-06-18, 12:18
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Forum Daemon
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,745
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Haha if he's a troll he's the most dedicated I've ever seen; he's been posting this stuff for over a year now. Even I gave up talking about midgets after that long.
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2010-06-18, 12:19
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Throbbing Member
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Californeeway
Posts: 7,898
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No one is this retarded. Maybe I'm just in denial, but I just can't believe it. I couldn't go on living if I thought the human race had the capacity for such retardation.
__________________
Check my band out:
facebook.com/deadheadroses
deadheadroses.bandcamp.com
deadheadrosesmusic.com
i'm so ronrey
Last edited by Dyldo : 2010-06-18 at 12:33.
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2010-06-18, 13:51
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Forum Daemon
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,745
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HAHAHA! Well, in his defence I think it's safe to say that English isn't his first language, so that's probably worth taking into account, plus the general thrust of the content is as aimless and gratuitous as any other metal song I've heard from most of the bands discussed here, albeit in a slightly less readable form. Look at Cannibal Corpse; the most retarded, pointless, structureless nonsense you could ever write, and it does sound like it was written by a 13-year-old trying to gross out his friends. Lyrics like that don't really require proper analysis, because it's like trying to write a thesis on the exact moment at which paint dries.
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2010-06-18, 14:07
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New Blood
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 32
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Paddy
What about me?? I said nice things!
Fine, you just lost yourself a handjob, and I was gonna do it without a glove and everything.
Welcome to the forum, my friend! |
Special thanks to paddy thank you my friend |
2010-06-18, 14:11
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New Blood
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 32
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And no...english isn't my first language ...
Dyldo - what's your problem man? need a handjob? hahaha
Paddy - don't give him a handjob... and thanks for talkin in my defence |
2010-06-18, 14:17
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Forum Daemon
Forum Leader
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,745
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Me and you against the world, LMS! Dyldo is just jealous of our burgeoning [sexual] relationship  |
2010-06-18, 15:10
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New Blood
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 32
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Paddy
Me and you against the world, LMS! Dyldo is just jealous of our burgeoning [sexual] relationship |
haha irishman is crazy ( coz' the crazy talk on burgeoning relationship ) nah,just kiddin' , and i'm totally with you on u and me against the world ...kill the fuckers aaaaaaaa   aaaaaaaa  aaaaaaaa hahaha cheers my friend
Last edited by Last Man Standing : 2010-06-18 at 15:14.
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