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Old 2009-12-23, 14:53
drawn&quartered's Avatar
drawn&quartered
Too _____, wouldn't fuck
 
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RTT #162: PISS OUT MY ASS!!

fuck!
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Old 2009-12-23, 16:59
CompelledToLacerate's Avatar
CompelledToLacerate
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PISS COMING FROM MY ASS!!!!11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
 
Old 2009-12-23, 17:36
Wolfsherz
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CUNTS








Man I love System of a Down
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So this Georgian Olympian runs into a bar

Aosoth - New album III out now on Agonia Recs
Epoch - bass, guitars, drums, MetaStasizing out asap
Asphixa - bass, demo out asap
Adustum - bass, guitars, full length out soon on XXXXXXXXXX recs

Quote:
Originally Posted by far_beyond_sane
Tetianblood? ... Well, 'Necrosemen' to you too. Twat.
 
Old 2009-12-23, 17:44
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Gomli
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Cun... fuck again too late

SOAD are one of those bands, where you think "Hey dats cool" when you hear a song of them for the first time but then they get fucking boring
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C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
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R.I.P moe
 
Old 2009-12-23, 18:12
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Dyldo
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They've got some cool shit. Serg is a killer vocalist.
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Check my band out:
facebook.com/deadheadroses
deadheadroses.bandcamp.com
deadheadrosesmusic.com
i'm so bonery
 
Old 2009-12-23, 18:15
drawn&quartered's Avatar
drawn&quartered
Too _____, wouldn't fuck
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gomli
Cun... fuck again too late

SOAD are one of those bands, where you think "Hey dats cool" when you hear a song of them for the first time but then they get fucking boring

yeah. I loved them when I was in middle school, I thought they where so technical and underground. I still don't mind listening to them for nostalgia reasons.
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Old 2009-12-23, 19:47
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CompelledToLacerate
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Sink-washing your junk is hard.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
 
Old 2009-12-23, 20:43
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Its more getting the soap completely off that's hard.

Good lord, I'm eating the most delicious but spiciest hot sauce I've had in a long time. Some guy at my work makes it and grows the chilies at home and allows them to ripen on the vine in the sun which gives it a really sweet side BUT HOLY SHIT I'M GUNNA DIE ITS HOT. Habanero, Serrano, and Jalapeno blend AND GOD DAMMIT I HAVE TO POWER THROUGH THIS ITS SO GOOD
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i'm so bonery
 
Old 2009-12-24, 03:57
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FearFrost
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cruzan's black strap rum + cuban cigar = a good stress killer.

who doesn't want to work tomorrow? I DONT!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Timedragon
i clicked on time... cause im timedragon
 
Old 2009-12-24, 07:37
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johnmansley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dyldo
Its more getting the cheese completely off that's hard.


Fixed. No need to thank me, Dyldo!
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Red Sparowes - At the Soundless Dawn
 
Old 2009-12-24, 17:21
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PST 88
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Aww, look at you. The last one wasn't even closed and you all posted in this one anyway. Like trained monkeys, you lot are. I'm so proud I could just give you all a little treat.
 
Old 2009-12-24, 22:01
drawn&quartered's Avatar
drawn&quartered
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Quote:
Originally Posted by johnmansley
Fixed. No need to thank me, Dyldo!

you don't want to bring up that subject of ball cheese...we can discuss it for pages and pages.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PST 88
Aww, look at you. The last one wasn't even closed and you all posted in this one anyway. Like trained monkeys, you lot are. I'm so proud I could just give you all a little treat.


Sounds sexy
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Old 2009-12-24, 22:57
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L,B'XXX
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
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Fromunda was what your treats were gonna be.

Don't you have a sprayer on your sink? Or did you not mean the kitchen sink?

I'm such a mom.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
 
Old 2009-12-24, 23:25
drawn&quartered's Avatar
drawn&quartered
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX

Don't you have a sprayer on your sink? Or did you not mean the kitchen sink?



I can't believe I haven't thought of this. Next time I have my 'rents house all to myself Im doing this. Seems like a great idea.
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Old 2009-12-25, 00:29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
Fromunda was what your treats were gonna be.

Don't you have a sprayer on your sink? Or did you not mean the kitchen sink?

I'm such a mom.

Ew, that's where we clean our dishes. And you can't clean shame off a plate.

I meant the bathroom sink. Washing them and rinsing them's no problem; it's trying to keep the water in the sink. I keep getting the whole floor wet.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
 
Old 2009-12-25, 01:16
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Okay.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
Ew, that's where we clean our dishes. And you can't clean shame off a plate.

I meant the bathroom sink. Washing them and rinsing them's no problem; it's trying to keep the water in the sink. I keep getting the whole floor wet.

Wouldn't it be so much easier to just take a shower like a normal person? lol

Sink is for shaving.
Shower is for everything else.

Quite simple
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Chances are there have been Irish in every corner of the world, no matter how remote. Our semen is listed in the World Health Organisation's Big Book of Pestilential Materials.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
God, the Japanese are so weird. This HAS to be the long term effects of the atom bombs. No one is that weird on purpose.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gomli
The slams in that song always kill me. First time I heard that song I was like "Too much heaviness - brain collapse" but now I could murder my family to that one
 
Old 2009-12-25, 02:47
drawn&quartered's Avatar
drawn&quartered
Too _____, wouldn't fuck
 
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sink is also for pissing, toilet for shitting
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Old 2009-12-25, 04:03
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The Execrator
Noob lud
 
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You really piss in your sink? Probably cuts down on the water bill, but that's not very sanitary haha.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Please excuse me for I currently have a terminal erection, and the only cure is midget-cunny.
 
Old 2009-12-25, 07:00
blitz906's Avatar
blitz906
Okay.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drawn&quartered
sink is also for pissing, toilet for shitting

Haha, I used to do that at school when the urinals were all taken. One time at a party my friend was pissing in the toilet and I didn't want to wait, so I just went in the bathtub
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Chances are there have been Irish in every corner of the world, no matter how remote. Our semen is listed in the World Health Organisation's Big Book of Pestilential Materials.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
God, the Japanese are so weird. This HAS to be the long term effects of the atom bombs. No one is that weird on purpose.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gomli
The slams in that song always kill me. First time I heard that song I was like "Too much heaviness - brain collapse" but now I could murder my family to that one
 
Old 2009-12-25, 07:02
JoeYngVai's Avatar
JoeYngVai
Vaginal Warts
 
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Location: I live in a giant bucket.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drawn&quartered
sink is also for pissing, toilet for shitting


I'm just a sink kinda guy for both functions.

Toilets are reserved for knuckle babies.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PST 88
The bottom of that 'Don't Click' picture is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. 'No, I really DO have a vagina! It's right here!'


Blackwater (Friend's Metal Band)
MY WEBSITE!


R.I.P Paddy. My dear and loving father will never be forgotten.
 
Old 2009-12-25, 11:18
Gomli's Avatar
Gomli
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Execrator
You really piss in your sink? Probably cuts down on the water bill, but that's not very sanitary haha.


Who cares if it`s sanitary or not?
I always piss in the sink when I`m visiting a friend of mine
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C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
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R.I.P moe
 
Old 2009-12-25, 13:56
drawn&quartered's Avatar
drawn&quartered
Too _____, wouldn't fuck
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Execrator
You really piss in your sink? Probably cuts down on the water bill, but that's not very sanitary haha.

Well...In theory I would like to, but it would probably start to smell. I actually like to go outside to piss more than anything, I will walk the (gasp) extra 100 feet to do so. this is usually in the summer and when I'm not in the city. One day when I have the nerve I will piss outside my apartment.
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Old 2009-12-25, 20:41
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CompelledToLacerate
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My god, this world doesn't cease to amaze me. Now, I'm for freedom of speech and religion, and if you wanna think homosexuality is immoral and sinful, that's your business, but my god, this right here is disgusting.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Phelps
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
 
Old 2009-12-25, 21:16
MetalThrashingMad's Avatar
MetalThrashingMad
Death to all but metal!
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Fag enablers! LOL!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
"Ja mein little poodle, I will hang you by your nipples in my garage,
 
Old 2009-12-25, 21:18
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7-string warlord
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
My god, this world doesn't cease to amaze me. Now, I'm for freedom of speech and religion, and if you wanna think homosexuality is immoral and sinful, that's your business, but my god, this right here is disgusting.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Phelps

Fuck that guy.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Man oh man I'm in the mood for some meat right about now, so much so that I don't even care how implicitly gay this sentence is.

 
Old 2009-12-25, 22:06
blitz906's Avatar
blitz906
Okay.
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: British Columbia, Canada
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
My god, this world doesn't cease to amaze me. Now, I'm for freedom of speech and religion, and if you wanna think homosexuality is immoral and sinful, that's your business, but my god, this right here is disgusting.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Phelps

Quote:
Phelps and the Westboro church run the website godhatessweden.com. Phelps has declared that the heavy Swedish losses in the 2004 Indian Ocean earthquake, initially overestimated to be near 20,000, were God's punishment of Sweden for the promotion of homosexuality.

Quote:
In 2003 Phelps turned his attacks on Ireland. In a sermon preached on July 29, 2007, in which he returned to the topic, he told his congregation that he had launched a website godhatesireland.com to "expose Ireland as the Emerald (now Pink) Isle of the Sodomite Damned, –saturated with fags and dykes at every level of society and government.

Quote:
Homosexuals and Jews dominated Nazi Germany... just as they now dominate this doomed U.S.A... The Jews now wander the earth despised, smitten with moral and spiritual blindness by a divine judicial stroke... And God has smitten Jews with a certain unique madness, whereby they are an astonishment of heart, a proverb, and a byword (the butt of jokes and ridicule) among all peoples whither the Lord has driven and scattered them... Jews, thus perverted, out of all proportion to their numbers energize the militant sodomite agenda... The American Jews are the real Nazis (misusers and abusers of governmental power) who hate God and the rule of law.

LOL LOL LOL!!!
What a fucking wank-stain!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Chances are there have been Irish in every corner of the world, no matter how remote. Our semen is listed in the World Health Organisation's Big Book of Pestilential Materials.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
God, the Japanese are so weird. This HAS to be the long term effects of the atom bombs. No one is that weird on purpose.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gomli
The slams in that song always kill me. First time I heard that song I was like "Too much heaviness - brain collapse" but now I could murder my family to that one
 
Old 2009-12-25, 22:46
The Execrator's Avatar
The Execrator
Noob lud
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Upstate New Yaawwk
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Hahahaha... Man, I would love to just punch that guy in the face. If I were gay, id probably try to rape him as well. That'd be fucking hilarious if he got raped by some dude.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Please excuse me for I currently have a terminal erection, and the only cure is midget-cunny.
 
Old 2009-12-26, 00:57
CompelledToLacerate's Avatar
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Yeah, but then he'd just be a martyr and all it'd do would increase his power. All his followers wouldn't look at him as a fag, they'd see him as a "victim of the sodomite agenda."

We need to dose him and get him to consent to some sloppy buttsecks. Then videotape it and send it to stileproject.com

Edit- Just caught this video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gX-vQ5sMOw&NR=1 Couldn't help but think "I hates them. Yet I would totally dos them."
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.

Last edited by CompelledToLacerate : 2009-12-26 at 04:14.
 
Old 2009-12-26, 05:05
The Execrator's Avatar
The Execrator
Noob lud
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
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Hahahahaha
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kF5m...feature=related

Some reporter hitting on one of Phelps sons.
__________________
9/23

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Please excuse me for I currently have a terminal erection, and the only cure is midget-cunny.
 
Old 2009-12-26, 08:15
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Dyldo
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There's a great documentry split up on youtube somewhere on the Westboro Baptist Church and all their mind-blowing retardedness. I posted it on here some months back.

How fast can you type? I got a blowjob for whoever can beat my score (but PST has to watch): 102 words a minute with 3 spelling mistakes. I think the most words I got was around 108 but there was a lot of errors. I warn you.. it gets surprisingly addicting.
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i'm so bonery

Last edited by Dyldo : 2009-12-26 at 08:18.
 
Old 2009-12-26, 12:34
Gomli's Avatar
Gomli
ComeOutYeBlackAndTans!
 
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Aren`t this new baptists just a whole big family? I remember a documentary about them called "Americas most hated family" on youtube
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C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
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R.I.P moe
 
Old 2009-12-26, 15:03
CompelledToLacerate's Avatar
CompelledToLacerate
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A good majority of them are Phelp's family.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
 
Old 2009-12-26, 15:18
drawn&quartered's Avatar
drawn&quartered
Too _____, wouldn't fuck
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,542
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gomli
Aren`t this new baptists just a whole big family? I remember a documentary about them called "Americas most hated family" on youtube

yeah, they all look kinda inbred. those daughters look like skeletons, CTL must be one horny fucker because I doubt I would be able to get my dick up when I see their faces.
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Old 2009-12-26, 16:46
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CompelledToLacerate
FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
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__________________
DETH TOLL!!!

Keep checking for new crap.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
 
Old 2009-12-26, 17:25
MetalThrashingMad's Avatar
MetalThrashingMad
Death to all but metal!
Forum Leader
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Highway to the Danger Zone
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Execrator
Hahahahaha
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kF5m...feature=related

Some reporter hitting on one of Phelps sons.

hahahah!! I'm almost as far from a gay rights supporter as you can get but that shit is just ridiculous. Ass raping that guy would be an epic, epic win.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
"Ja mein little poodle, I will hang you by your nipples in my garage,
 
Old 2009-12-26, 18:30
CompelledToLacerate's Avatar
CompelledToLacerate
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Just a little, thing.

I know it's a little too soon and halloween isn't for a long time now, but I already know what I'm gonna be; The Bulging Riddler. I'm gonna get some green tights, glue some question marks to it, and stuff my crotch. "What walks on four legs, then two legs, and finally three? ME! I walked on four legs as a baby, then I walked on two legs as a toddler, then when I was 15, I could walk on 3 legs.... y'know, with my cock."

I'm the Bulging Riddler, one friend is going as the Joker, and my guitarist is going as Fatman.
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
 
Old 2009-12-26, 18:30
Gomli's Avatar
Gomli
ComeOutYeBlackAndTans!
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Ger., North
Posts: 2,593
__________________
C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
Pour ces bois obscurs maintenant endormis.


R.I.P moe
 
Old 2009-12-26, 18:51
drawn&quartered's Avatar
drawn&quartered
Too _____, wouldn't fuck
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,542
Quote:
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
Just a little, thing.

I know it's a little too soon and halloween isn't for a long time now, but I already know what I'm gonna be; The Bulging Riddler. I'm gonna get some green tights, glue some question marks to it, and stuff my crotch. "What walks on four legs, then two legs, and finally three? ME! I walked on four legs as a baby, then I walked on two legs as a toddler, then when I was 15, I could walk on 3 legs.... y'know, with my cock."

I'm the Bulging Riddler, one friend is going as the Joker, and my guitarist is going as Fatman.

lol
i think im just gonna get a huge cape and wear nothing under it. probably get arrested though
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Old 2009-12-26, 21:31
Requiem
Post-whore
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
I'm 22 and I'm still a virgin



lolz
 
Old 2009-12-26, 22:24
drawn&quartered's Avatar
drawn&quartered
Too _____, wouldn't fuck
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,542
Quote:
Originally Posted by Requiem
lolz

I'm 20 and virgin. but I plan on having a stripper fiesta once I start getting more income.
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Old 2009-12-27, 03:26
BassBehemoth's Avatar
BassBehemoth
Die Young.
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Hellifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
Posts: 8,633
Quote:
Originally Posted by drawn&quartered
I'm 20 and virgin. but I plan on having a stripper fiesta once I start getting more income.


Strippers don't want your dick, they want your money.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/1147151442135.jpg
__________________
Bitches, Hoes And Corn Rows.

Quote:
Originally Posted by moe_blunts
you done told me lots of thangs bout beer n shit and canada. have a grand ol cunt of a good time.


RIP moe.
 
Old 2009-12-27, 09:57
Dystopia's Avatar
Dystopia
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Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,068
Quote:
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
Just a little, thing.

I know it's a little too soon and halloween isn't for a long time now, but I already know what I'm gonna be; The Bulging Riddler. I'm gonna get some green tights, glue some question marks to it, and stuff my crotch. "What walks on four legs, then two legs, and finally three? ME! I walked on four legs as a baby, then I walked on two legs as a toddler, then when I was 15, I could walk on 3 legs.... y'know, with my cock."

I'm the Bulging Riddler, one friend is going as the Joker, and my guitarist is going as Fatman.

dude takes pictures plz
 
Old 2009-12-27, 11:08
Gomli's Avatar
Gomli
ComeOutYeBlackAndTans!
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Ger., North
Posts: 2,593
Quote:
Originally Posted by BassBehemoth
Strippers don't want your dick, they want your money.


I think he meant mexican-fat-syphilis-whore-fiesta.
__________________
C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
Pour ces bois obscurs maintenant endormis.


R.I.P moe
 
Old 2009-12-27, 15:02
drawn&quartered's Avatar
drawn&quartered
Too _____, wouldn't fuck
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,542
Quote:
Originally Posted by BassBehemoth
Strippers don't want your dick, they want your money.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/1147151442135.jpg


it's like you just missed the last word entirely. and yes, they will screw you if drunk enough/paid enough.
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I dont have any funny quotes

NEGROGENESIS


 
Old 2009-12-27, 15:07
Requiem
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Join Date: Sep 2005
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Just get a fucking girl friend. It's a lot easier to get a pretty girl friend than to find good looking stripper to fuck.

I know this shit.
 
Old 2009-12-27, 15:23
Wolfsherz
Post-whore
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
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The Master hath spoken!

...


Just go to some more parties. Shiiit.
__________________
So this Georgian Olympian runs into a bar

Aosoth - New album III out now on Agonia Recs
Epoch - bass, guitars, drums, MetaStasizing out asap
Asphixa - bass, demo out asap
Adustum - bass, guitars, full length out soon on XXXXXXXXXX recs

Quote:
Originally Posted by far_beyond_sane
Tetianblood? ... Well, 'Necrosemen' to you too. Twat.
 
Old 2009-12-27, 19:33
The Execrator's Avatar
The Execrator
Noob lud
 
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Location: Upstate New Yaawwk
Posts: 3,499
Quote:
Originally Posted by drawn&quartered
it's like you just missed the last word entirely. and yes, they will screw you if drunk enough/paid enough.

This is a joke right? Don't lower yourself to planning on getting laid by a stripper for your first, haha. Do like wolf said and don't be shy, getting laid isn't that hard if you act normal and honest. And that doesn't mean acting like you just want to fuck because most don't like that, you gotta work up to it. Meet as many girls as you can, you'll eventually meet some who dig you.
__________________
9/23

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Please excuse me for I currently have a terminal erection, and the only cure is midget-cunny.
 
Old 2009-12-27, 19:37
drawn&quartered's Avatar
drawn&quartered
Too _____, wouldn't fuck
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
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The strippers around here are actually pretty hawt. there are a few disgusting ones though.
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I dont have any funny quotes

NEGROGENESIS


 
Old 2009-12-27, 21:08
Requiem
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If only Nick was a stripper. :drools:
 
Old 2009-12-27, 22:53
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
Oh, just put a wig on him and be done with it.

You guys are too funny. I was 10 days shy of being 20 before I had my first-- which was my future husband. I've been with one other guy while we were split up. That's it. Two. And I wouldn't change anything.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
 
Old 2009-12-28, 02:48
Gomli's Avatar
Gomli
ComeOutYeBlackAndTans!
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Ger., North
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolfsherz
The Master hath spoken!
.

LOLZ!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolfie
Just go to some more parties. Shiiit.

ZING!!
It`s actually pretty simple too get laid. And it`s even more easier if you know some shy girls, which look pretty hot Or some whores. . . Like Bia
That`s how I lost my unguiltyness. Shy girl + alcohol
__________________
C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
Pour ces bois obscurs maintenant endormis.


R.I.P moe
 
Old 2009-12-28, 03:01
drawn&quartered's Avatar
drawn&quartered
Too _____, wouldn't fuck
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,542
I'm at such a low point that no one even invites me to parties, maybe im such an asshole I don't know. shit.

but seriously, why are you guys so against working girls so to speak?
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I dont have any funny quotes

NEGROGENESIS


 
Old 2009-12-28, 11:38
Gomli's Avatar
Gomli
ComeOutYeBlackAndTans!
 
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I don`t think we have something against "working-girls". Only the fact that some dude will loose his virginity with a hired stripper is .... whoah so unnatural if you know what I mean
__________________
C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
Pour ces bois obscurs maintenant endormis.


R.I.P moe
 
Old 2009-12-28, 15:18
Requiem
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drawn&quartered
I'm at such a low point that no one even invites me to parties, maybe im such an asshole I don't know. shit.

but seriously, why are you guys so against working girls so to speak?


If you think not getting invited to parties is a low point in your life then wait until you tell the girl you actually love how you lost your virginity to a vending machine.
 
Old 2009-12-28, 16:02
Wolfsherz
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Dude are you going TimeDragon on us?
__________________
So this Georgian Olympian runs into a bar

Aosoth - New album III out now on Agonia Recs
Epoch - bass, guitars, drums, MetaStasizing out asap
Asphixa - bass, demo out asap
Adustum - bass, guitars, full length out soon on XXXXXXXXXX recs

Quote:
Originally Posted by far_beyond_sane
Tetianblood? ... Well, 'Necrosemen' to you too. Twat.
 
Old 2009-12-28, 16:26
drawn&quartered's Avatar
drawn&quartered
Too _____, wouldn't fuck
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,542
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolfsherz
Dude are you going TimeDragon on us?

well, timedragon is more or less on the opposite end of the spectrum you could say. I'm not trying to argue with anyone, it might come off that way though
Quote:
Originally Posted by Requiem
If you think not getting invited to parties is a low point in your life then wait until you tell the girl you actually love how you lost your virginity to a vending machine.


I really don't want to make anymore statements that sound bitchy, but that probably won't happen at this rate, and even if it does why would you have to tell the truth?
__________________
I dont have any funny quotes

NEGROGENESIS



Last edited by drawn&quartered : 2009-12-28 at 16:49.
 
Old 2009-12-28, 17:47
PST 88's Avatar
PST 88
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Honestly, if you just want to get losing your virginity over with, there's no real reason not to just buy a prostitute. The only real argument I'd make against it is that nothing's going to change in that case; you'll be exactly the same, except you'll have had sex. But you won't have gained anything that might facilitate it happening again in the future. And sex in itself isn't that earth-shattering without bringing some other bullshit into it.

But, really, if you just want it over with and out of the way you might as well go ahead. Unless you really care if Requiem respects you less.
 
Old 2009-12-28, 18:42
BassBehemoth's Avatar
BassBehemoth
Die Young.
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Hellifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
Posts: 8,633
Quote:
Originally Posted by drawn&quartered
well, timedragon is more or less on the opposite end of the spectrum you could say.



That is true...he's not a VIRGIN. LOLOLOLOLOL.


Just kidding..best of luck with those strippers...
__________________
Bitches, Hoes And Corn Rows.

Quote:
Originally Posted by moe_blunts
you done told me lots of thangs bout beer n shit and canada. have a grand ol cunt of a good time.


RIP moe.
 
Old 2009-12-28, 20:17
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MetalThrashingMad
Death to all but metal!
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Highway to the Danger Zone
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gomli
And it`s even more easier if you know some shy girls, which look pretty hot Or some whores. . . Like Bia
That`s how I lost my unguiltyness. Shy girl + alcohol


Great post LOL
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
"Ja mein little poodle, I will hang you by your nipples in my garage,
 
Old 2009-12-28, 20:31
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Dyldo
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I can hear the mouth-breathing in this thread.

Just listen to what PST said, he's the only right one. You do, you don't, it doesn't matter and it isn't a big deal.
__________________
Check my band out:
facebook.com/deadheadroses
deadheadroses.bandcamp.com
deadheadrosesmusic.com
i'm so bonery
 
Old 2009-12-29, 00:23
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
Yeah, he is pretty much right. I think the biggest thing for me at least is the uniqueness and my religious views. It wasn't that I didn't want to, but I just never found a guy that I thought would be there for the long term until I decided on my husband. And we dated for about a year before that ever happened. I didn't really like him that much for a long time.
Even if I was single now there would be a lot more things I'd be interested in besides sex.
Any 2 baboons can do it. Having it be more than that brings a lot to the soul.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
 
Old 2009-12-29, 02:27
younguitarist's Avatar
younguitarist
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 2,037
Launching at 5k on drag radials + VHT + stock rear end = Fucking


I need a Moser 12 bolt/9" rear end....

How's everyone's day?
Attached Images
File Type: jpg 10boltcarnage010.jpg (42.9 KB, 29 views)
 
Old 2009-12-29, 04:26
The Execrator's Avatar
The Execrator
Noob lud
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Upstate New Yaawwk
Posts: 3,499
Quote:
Originally Posted by drawn&quartered
but seriously, why are you guys so against working girls so to speak?

because STD hospital charges aren't covered with your payment lolz
__________________
9/23

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Please excuse me for I currently have a terminal erection, and the only cure is midget-cunny.
 
Old 2009-12-29, 06:30
7-string warlord's Avatar
7-string warlord
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the drummer for avenged sevenfold died monday. Nothing special, just thought I'd throw that out there.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Man oh man I'm in the mood for some meat right about now, so much so that I don't even care how implicitly gay this sentence is.

 
Old 2009-12-29, 07:21
blitz906's Avatar
blitz906
Okay.
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 4,137
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Execrator
Hahahaha... Man, I would love to just punch that guy in the face. If I were gay, id probably try to rape him as well. That'd be fucking hilarious if he got raped by some dude.

Haha. He'd be double pwned if a gay Jew raped him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Requiem
Just get a fucking girl friend. It's a lot easier to get a pretty girl friend than to find good looking stripper to fuck.

I know this shit.

This is true, why would you want to lose it to someone who doesn't even care about you?

Off topic, but something strange happened today. I was buying a pack of cigarettes at my local tobacconist, and the girl behind the counter is staring at me for a while and then asks "are you from around here?" so I told her "yes, I've lived in this city all my life"... then she says "oh, because you look American" LOL wtf?!? How can you 'look American'?
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Chances are there have been Irish in every corner of the world, no matter how remote. Our semen is listed in the World Health Organisation's Big Book of Pestilential Materials.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
God, the Japanese are so weird. This HAS to be the long term effects of the atom bombs. No one is that weird on purpose.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gomli
The slams in that song always kill me. First time I heard that song I was like "Too much heaviness - brain collapse" but now I could murder my family to that one
 
Old 2009-12-29, 08:17
PST 88's Avatar
PST 88
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 4,982
It means she thought you looked retarded, but thought 'You look American' sounded better than 'You look like you have Down's Syndrome,' which it arguably does.
 
Old 2009-12-29, 08:56
Wolfsherz
Post-whore
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Antwerp
Posts: 1,472
Quote:
Originally Posted by blitz906
This is true, why would you want to lose it to someone who doesn't even care about you?



...What the fuck? Who gives?
__________________
So this Georgian Olympian runs into a bar

Aosoth - New album III out now on Agonia Recs
Epoch - bass, guitars, drums, MetaStasizing out asap
Asphixa - bass, demo out asap
Adustum - bass, guitars, full length out soon on XXXXXXXXXX recs

Quote:
Originally Posted by far_beyond_sane
Tetianblood? ... Well, 'Necrosemen' to you too. Twat.
 
Old 2009-12-29, 12:09
Gomli's Avatar
Gomli
ComeOutYeBlackAndTans!
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Ger., North
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 7-string warlord
the drummer for avenged sevenfold died monday.


LOL

Quote:
Originally Posted by PST88
It means she thought you looked retarded, but thought 'You look American' sounded better than 'You look like you have Down's Syndrome,' which it arguably does.


LOLOL
__________________
C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
Pour ces bois obscurs maintenant endormis.


R.I.P moe
 
Old 2009-12-29, 15:17
drawn&quartered's Avatar
drawn&quartered
Too _____, wouldn't fuck
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,542
Quote:
Originally Posted by 7-string warlord
the drummer for avenged sevenfold died monday. Nothing special, just thought I'd throw that out there.

Too bad it wasn't the whole band, especially their really "talented" guitarist
__________________
I dont have any funny quotes

NEGROGENESIS


 
Old 2009-12-29, 17:43
Gomli's Avatar
Gomli
ComeOutYeBlackAndTans!
 
Join Date: May 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drawn&quartered
Too bad it wasn't the whole band, especially their really "talented" guitarist


+1
__________________
C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
Pour ces bois obscurs maintenant endormis.


R.I.P moe
 
Old 2009-12-29, 18:14
7-string warlord's Avatar
7-string warlord
Post-whore
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drawn&quartered
Too bad it wasn't the whole band, especially their really "talented" guitarist

+2
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Man oh man I'm in the mood for some meat right about now, so much so that I don't even care how implicitly gay this sentence is.

 
Old 2009-12-30, 02:51
Transient's Avatar
Transient
HES BAAACK
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: slaying all the giants
Posts: 9,967
haha this forum.

NEW CROWNED SONG
http://www.mediafire.com/?nummezly2y2

justin plays drums i do all teh geetars.

liner notes in the zip file.
__________________
www.myspace.com/crownedmusic
http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j136/transient_shirts/Banner.gif
 
Old 2009-12-30, 05:46
The Execrator's Avatar
The Execrator
Noob lud
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Upstate New Yaawwk
Posts: 3,499
Quote:
Originally Posted by blitz906
Haha. He'd be double pwned if a gay Jew raped him.

This is true, why would you want to lose it to someone who doesn't even care about you?

Off topic, but something strange happened today. I was buying a pack of cigarettes at my local tobacconist, and the girl behind the counter is staring at me for a while and then asks "are you from around here?" so I told her "yes, I've lived in this city all my life"... then she says "oh, because you look American" LOL wtf?!? How can you 'look American'?

Hahahah. How did you respond to her?

and you dudes should check out the song tranz posted if you're into melodic types of dm
__________________
9/23

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Please excuse me for I currently have a terminal erection, and the only cure is midget-cunny.
 
Old 2009-12-30, 22:31
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TruthDevoid
Drugged Unholy
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Philadelphia Area
Posts: 2,458
I just found out that The Crown reformed! I'm fuckin fired up. They got a different vocalist but he pretty much sounds exactly like Johan anyway, so it's cool. This is the best possible news i could have heard right now. Fuckin LOVE this band.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetalThrashingMad
I don't know about you, but I deadlift because I strive to be the first human tree stump pulling machine


Quote:
Originally Posted by viewer_from_nihil
the song serial cocksucker changed my life


Quote:
Originally Posted by BassBehemoth
Are you going to snort cheap pharmaceutical drugs with your lizard as well?
 
Old 2009-12-31, 06:22
CompelledToLacerate's Avatar
CompelledToLacerate
FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
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Shit, I think I fart too much. There's a hole in the ass of my pants.
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!

Keep checking for new crap.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
 
Old 2009-12-31, 08:43
Gomli's Avatar
Gomli
ComeOutYeBlackAndTans!
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Ger., North
Posts: 2,593
Quote:
Originally Posted by TruthDevoid
I just found out that The Crown reformed! I'm fuckin fired up. They got a different vocalist but he pretty much sounds exactly like Johan anyway, so it's cool. This is the best possible news i could have heard right now. Fuckin LOVE this band.


NO WAY
__________________
C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
Pour ces bois obscurs maintenant endormis.


R.I.P moe
 
Old 2009-12-31, 10:43
Gomli's Avatar
Gomli
ComeOutYeBlackAndTans!
 
Join Date: May 2008
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Can somebody please go on this site and tell me whats on there? I`m too scared

www.bestgore.com
__________________
C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
Pour ces bois obscurs maintenant endormis.


R.I.P moe
 
Old 2009-12-31, 11:53
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blitz906
Okay.
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 4,137
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gomli
Can somebody please go on this site and tell me whats on there? I`m too scared

www.bestgore.com

It's a gore site... the website name pretty much explains it lol.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
Chances are there have been Irish in every corner of the world, no matter how remote. Our semen is listed in the World Health Organisation's Big Book of Pestilential Materials.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
God, the Japanese are so weird. This HAS to be the long term effects of the atom bombs. No one is that weird on purpose.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gomli
The slams in that song always kill me. First time I heard that song I was like "Too much heaviness - brain collapse" but now I could murder my family to that one
 
Old 2009-12-31, 15:13
Def's Avatar
Def
Master Killer
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands
Posts: 11,372
I AM HOLLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111
 
Old 2009-12-31, 17:33
Dyldo's Avatar
Dyldo
Throbbing Member
Forum Leader
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Californeeway
Posts: 7,909
I AM ABOMINATION!!!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by TruthDevoid
I just found out that The Crown reformed! I'm fuckin fired up. They got a different vocalist but he pretty much sounds exactly like Johan anyway, so it's cool. This is the best possible news i could have heard right now. Fuckin LOVE this band.


No shit?! Ah, pet your balls for me for posting that. Such a fucking high-intensity adrenaline-pumping band. SATANIST! NOTHING HIIGHHEERR!!
__________________
Check my band out:
facebook.com/deadheadroses
deadheadroses.bandcamp.com
deadheadrosesmusic.com
i'm so bonery
 
Old 2009-12-31, 20:41
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
Quote:
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
Shit, I think I fart too much. There's a hole in the ass of my pants.

Don't sit in nagahyde. It will eventually discolor it according to a friend who used to do upholstery work.

Hey, maybe Nomad could leash it up and run the site off your butt! Just a thought.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
 
Old 2009-12-31, 23:59
TruthDevoid's Avatar
TruthDevoid
Drugged Unholy
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Philadelphia Area
Posts: 2,458
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dyldo
Ah, pet your balls for me for posting that.


Done
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetalThrashingMad
I don't know about you, but I deadlift because I strive to be the first human tree stump pulling machine


Quote:
Originally Posted by viewer_from_nihil
the song serial cocksucker changed my life


Quote:
Originally Posted by BassBehemoth
Are you going to snort cheap pharmaceutical drugs with your lizard as well?
 
Old 2010-01-02, 09:02
JoeYngVai's Avatar
JoeYngVai
Vaginal Warts
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: I live in a giant bucket.
Posts: 2,289
Quote:
Originally Posted by Transient
haha this forum.

NEW CROWNED SONG
http://www.mediafire.com/?nummezly2y2

justin plays drums i do all teh geetars.

liner notes in the zip file.


dude... nobody has responded to this for some reason!! Awesome songwriting, and great vocals... that really sealed the good production sound getting Ray to do them (although I have no clue who that is).

Keep it up and I might buy an album of yours one day...
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by PST 88
The bottom of that 'Don't Click' picture is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. 'No, I really DO have a vagina! It's right here!'


Blackwater (Friend's Metal Band)
MY WEBSITE!


R.I.P Paddy. My dear and loving father will never be forgotten.
 
Old 2010-01-03, 06:17
Transient's Avatar
Transient
HES BAAACK
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: slaying all the giants
Posts: 9,967
haha there wont be an album to ever buy, just enjoy the free downloads, thanks for replying man
__________________
www.myspace.com/crownedmusic
http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j136/transient_shirts/Banner.gif
 
Old 2010-01-04, 00:41
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xgrafcorex
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Monterey, CA
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Thanks for the card LBXXX. Just got it today, well probably delivered yesterday but I was on duty. Saw it and thought "who the hell do I know in OH??"
 
Old 2010-01-04, 09:23
JoeYngVai's Avatar
JoeYngVai
Vaginal Warts
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: I live in a giant bucket.
Posts: 2,289
Quote:
Originally Posted by Transient
haha there wont be an album to ever buy, just enjoy the free downloads, thanks for replying man


haha fine, I'll enjoy the downloads. but yea the hardest thing to find nowadays seems to be a good growler/screamer, good job on that.

Anyways... my girlfriend, unfortunately, seems to become more insane the more I get to know her... I don't see this lasting much longer

oh and Dyldo, I can't get better than 71 words per minute without mistakes. my little brain just can't handle it!
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by PST 88
The bottom of that 'Don't Click' picture is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. 'No, I really DO have a vagina! It's right here!'


Blackwater (Friend's Metal Band)
MY WEBSITE!


R.I.P Paddy. My dear and loving father will never be forgotten.

Last edited by JoeYngVai : 2010-01-04 at 11:41.
 
Old 2010-01-04, 13:45
Gomli's Avatar
Gomli
ComeOutYeBlackAndTans!
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Ger., North
Posts: 2,593
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeYngVai
Anyways... my girlfriend, unfortunately, seems to become more insane the more I get to know her... I don't see this lasting much longer

Why that?
__________________
C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
Pour ces bois obscurs maintenant endormis.


R.I.P moe
 
Old 2010-01-04, 15:12
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
Quote:
Originally Posted by xgrafcorex
Thanks for the card LBXXX. Just got it today, well probably delivered yesterday but I was on duty. Saw it and thought "who the hell do I know in OH??"


You're welcome.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
 
Old 2010-01-04, 17:38
Dyldo's Avatar
Dyldo
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Californeeway
Posts: 7,909
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeYngVai
haha fine, I'll enjoy the downloads. but yea the hardest thing to find nowadays seems to be a good growler/screamer, good job on that.

Anyways... my girlfriend, unfortunately, seems to become more insane the more I get to know her... I don't see this lasting much longer

oh and Dyldo, I can't get better than 71 words per minute without mistakes. my little brain just can't handle it!


That's just the normal process of getting to know any girl. They're all insane but advertise other wise. Thus is life and why I date myself. At least I'm fucking somebody I love.

NO ONE CAN BEAT MY SCORE!
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Check my band out:
facebook.com/deadheadroses
deadheadroses.bandcamp.com
deadheadrosesmusic.com
i'm so bonery
 
Old 2010-01-04, 19:07
JoeYngVai's Avatar
JoeYngVai
Vaginal Warts
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: I live in a giant bucket.
Posts: 2,289
I was thinking about playing for hours until I got up to your score... but then I decided I wouldn't waste my time with that game, but rather Mass Effect for Xbox 360.

What happened with that Icelandic princess? Did she go nuts too?
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by PST 88
The bottom of that 'Don't Click' picture is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. 'No, I really DO have a vagina! It's right here!'


Blackwater (Friend's Metal Band)
MY WEBSITE!


R.I.P Paddy. My dear and loving father will never be forgotten.
 
Old 2010-01-04, 22:27
Dyldo's Avatar
Dyldo
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Californeeway
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No, she's the one exception. In all honestly she's the most sane, emotionally-leveled girl I've ever met.. the one problem is that she lives just a few thousand miles away.
__________________
Check my band out:
facebook.com/deadheadroses
deadheadroses.bandcamp.com
deadheadrosesmusic.com
i'm so bonery
 
Old 2010-01-04, 23:08
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
She's probably sane because she lives that far from you. Especially if you're a magnet to crazy women who become stranger the more you get to know them.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
 
Old 2010-01-05, 04:44
JoeYngVai's Avatar
JoeYngVai
Vaginal Warts
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: I live in a giant bucket.
Posts: 2,289
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dyldo
No, she's the one exception. In all honestly she's the most sane, emotionally-leveled girl I've ever met.. the one problem is that she lives just a few thousand miles away.


mine goes to the same school as me... WOOPS!

Not in the music department, though, luckily. My friend already made that mistake... you've gotta be pretty damn sure you're not gonna ever break up to date someone who is hard to avoid.

update: 80 words 2 mistakes.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by PST 88
The bottom of that 'Don't Click' picture is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. 'No, I really DO have a vagina! It's right here!'


Blackwater (Friend's Metal Band)
MY WEBSITE!


R.I.P Paddy. My dear and loving father will never be forgotten.

Last edited by JoeYngVai : 2010-01-05 at 04:47.
 
Old 2010-01-05, 07:42
Dyldo's Avatar
Dyldo
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Join Date: Jul 2002
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Posts: 7,909
Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
She's probably sane because she lives that far from you. Especially if you're a magnet to crazy women who become stranger the more you get to know them.


We've spent a considerable amount of time together (including some weeks living together), enough for me to get a deeper understanding of her as a person and fluid depository. In my experience (and I should have a fucking PhD by now), a troubled women (a feathered bird) accompanied by strong feelings for a person that are being threatened by distance will have what frail sanity they have come to full display. When the threat conquered, my long-lost Ice Princess who melted my glacier heart showed some real maturity despite the emotional storm that was surely raging. Oh, I'm such a poet when I've been drinking lighter fluid.

I'm a huge magnet for crazy women (or am I a magnet for women and all women are just crazy hell-beings?). It took me a few too many chaotic relationships to figure that one out and they don't teach you that kind of shit in school (along with if there is a basement in the Alamo [there isn't!]).
__________________
Check my band out:
facebook.com/deadheadroses
deadheadroses.bandcamp.com
deadheadrosesmusic.com
i'm so bonery

Last edited by Dyldo : 2010-01-05 at 07:44.
 
Old 2010-01-05, 08:08
JoeYngVai's Avatar
JoeYngVai
Vaginal Warts
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: I live in a giant bucket.
Posts: 2,289
I want some lighter fluid
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by PST 88
The bottom of that 'Don't Click' picture is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. 'No, I really DO have a vagina! It's right here!'


Blackwater (Friend's Metal Band)
MY WEBSITE!


R.I.P Paddy. My dear and loving father will never be forgotten.
 
Old 2010-01-05, 09:36
Dyldo's Avatar
Dyldo
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Californeeway
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeYngVai
I want some lighter fluid


Well Ian, fear not. Fear not because I truly believe I have created the next best thing: a completely new fetish that, to my knowledge has never been fathomed before by any human mind, large or small, before this very day – nei! - this very hour, and will be the long needed catalyst for a complete sexual paradigm shift.

Hours earlier, in a previously unfathomable world saturated by incredibly boring and pedestrian pornography/self-pleasuring devices, I was suffering from a mortal lack of arousal. Seconds away from death I suddenly began to think about the game Portal while being overcome by sensual waves of ecstasy... desperately trying to find the connection and source, my entire being became entranced by a vision of myself giving myself, not as a two but as one, the most raging, spiritually rectifyingly hell-shattering anal orgasm* ever experienced by a non-god. I had stumbled upon a perfectly constructed world of pure erotica.

This world relies on the main instrument in the game Portal. For those of you unfamiliar with Portal, you are provided with a gun that can shoot two portals, both of which can function as an entrance and an exit. In my vision, soon to be reality, a subject will be placed between two portals. The first portal shall be placed in front of the subject to channel his penis through the wormhole which will be set to exit from the second portal that is to be positioned directly behind the subject’s rear to allow penetration into the anal cavity. Finally, we can truly go fuck ourselves.

Now, obviously, this technology does not yet exist, but according to my calculations based on advanced abacus shaking and calculated button smashing, the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device will be hitting the shelves by earlier 2012. Verily, this must indeed be the radical shift in humanities spiritual consciousness that the Mayans have predicted. Until this perfect moment of unity, we will have to hold ourselves over with highly realistic SCGI (Sexual Computer Generated Imagery) pornography that I imagine will be, because of its intense popularity, created by those dudes that did Avatar.

Please consult the schematics in the attached image below that I have taken the time (35 minutes) to draw to help explain the infinite potential that this idea has to revolutionize human sexuality and consciousness. Besides its ability to dramatically drop the Earth's birth-rate, it is perfect.

*Oral sex is also possible; while it will also ignite an orgasm equally powerful in terms of oral’s potential it is not as perversely awesome as auto-sodomy and so cannot match its power. Due of this fact, women will not be able to experience, as it should have always been, the best orgasm possible, subsequently placing them back into the penis-cushion mentality they should have always been identify themselves with.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg sodoportalschematics.jpg (41.6 KB, 28 views)
__________________
Check my band out:
facebook.com/deadheadroses
deadheadroses.bandcamp.com
deadheadrosesmusic.com
i'm so bonery

Last edited by Dyldo : 2010-01-05 at 09:47.
 
Old 2010-01-05, 11:57
Gomli's Avatar
Gomli
ComeOutYeBlackAndTans!
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Ger., North
Posts: 2,593
This is probably the funniest thing I saw today. Made my day thanks mate!
But wait. . . you have an $100 watch??????
__________________
C'est le chant des vieux arbres entonné pour toi,
Pour ces bois obscurs maintenant endormis.


R.I.P moe
 
Old 2010-01-05, 13:44
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
I think Paddy already did that.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
 
Old 2010-01-05, 14:31
drawn&quartered's Avatar
drawn&quartered
Too _____, wouldn't fuck
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,542
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dyldo
Well Ian, fear not. Fear not because I truly believe I have created the next best thing: a completely new fetish that, to my knowledge has never been fathomed before by any human mind, large or small, before this very day – nei! - this very hour, and will be the long needed catalyst for a complete sexual paradigm shift.

Hours earlier, in a previously unfathomable world saturated by incredibly boring and pedestrian pornography/self-pleasuring devices, I was suffering from a mortal lack of arousal. Seconds away from death I suddenly began to think about the game Portal while being overcome by sensual waves of ecstasy... desperately trying to find the connection and source, my entire being became entranced by a vision of myself giving myself, not as a two but as one, the most raging, spiritually rectifyingly hell-shattering anal orgasm* ever experienced by a non-god. I had stumbled upon a perfectly constructed world of pure erotica.

This world relies on the main instrument in the game Portal. For those of you unfamiliar with Portal, you are provided with a gun that can shoot two portals, both of which can function as an entrance and an exit. In my vision, soon to be reality, a subject will be placed between two portals. The first portal shall be placed in front of the subject to channel his penis through the wormhole which will be set to exit from the second portal that is to be positioned directly behind the subject’s rear to allow penetration into the anal cavity. Finally, we can truly go fuck ourselves.

Now, obviously, this technology does not yet exist, but according to my calculations based on advanced abacus shaking and calculated button smashing, the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device will be hitting the shelves by earlier 2012. Verily, this must indeed be the radical shift in humanities spiritual consciousness that the Mayans have predicted. Until this perfect moment of unity, we will have to hold ourselves over with highly realistic SCGI (Sexual Computer Generated Imagery) pornography that I imagine will be, because of its intense popularity, created by those dudes that did Avatar.

Please consult the schematics in the attached image below that I have taken the time (35 minutes) to draw to help explain the infinite potential that this idea has to revolutionize human sexuality and consciousness. Besides its ability to dramatically drop the Earth's birth-rate, it is perfect.

*Oral sex is also possible; while it will also ignite an orgasm equally powerful in terms of oral’s potential it is not as perversely awesome as auto-sodomy and so cannot match its power. Due of this fact, women will not be able to experience, as it should have always been, the best orgasm possible, subsequently placing them back into the penis-cushion mentality they should have always been identify themselves with.

Pretty good. While keeping basically the same portal setup, I prefer to put half of my torso through the first portal and literally blow myself. Oh fuck I missed the small text again.

well in other recent news about sex technology, supposedly there is an uber-fleshlight out there that is "interactive" and the porno responds to every cock movement you choose to make. Source: my retarded friend.
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NEGROGENESIS



Last edited by drawn&quartered : 2010-01-05 at 15:23.
 
Old 2010-01-05, 18:45
Dyldo's Avatar
Dyldo
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Californeeway
Posts: 7,909
Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
I think Paddy already did that.


If anyone else were to be able to stumble upon such a thing, it'd be Paddy's greatness. I don't think he did though. I hope not.

The $100 watch is to show that, despite never having to go looking for pussy again, we'll still have to spend money on ridiculous things to attract our own shallow selves.
__________________
Check my band out:
facebook.com/deadheadroses
deadheadroses.bandcamp.com
deadheadrosesmusic.com
i'm so bonery

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