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2003-03-06, 23:27
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New Blood
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: North west UK
Posts: 9
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Oh go on then........
I may aswell add some of my latest unfinished scribbles
GIVE IT TO ME
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
I know I do complain ,
About lots of things.
However,you know you can do
Almost anything.
Kick me down...
Kick me down in the face,
And I will merely stand in awe,
Watch your foot move with such beauty and grace.
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
I await your comments!
__________________
Do you want to take a life?
Do you want to cross that line?
Cause it's a long way back from hell,and you don't want to come with me .
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2003-03-07, 00:13
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Supreme Metalhead
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Gotham City
Posts: 934
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i really dont know bout these lyrics, sounds like a part 2 for dat pink song, family portrait. maybe make it a lil longer
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run at me
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2003-03-07, 09:42
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New Blood
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: North west UK
Posts: 9
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It is not about domestic violence.Im quite upset that you think they sound like a pink song 
But having thought about what you said,I suppose it does seem like it's about domestic violence or something like that.It's not,it's about falling in love,and how we let that person get away with anything,even though you would not be so passive in everyday life.The kicking in the face is merely metaphorical
__________________
Do you want to take a life?
Do you want to cross that line?
Cause it's a long way back from hell,and you don't want to come with me .
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2003-03-07, 10:37
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Supreme Metalhead
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Gotham City
Posts: 934
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yeah when u explain it like dat its better, but i just imagined a film clip for dat and i couldnt see anythink else except pink singin bout domestic shit
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run at me
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2003-03-07, 11:05
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Supreme Metalhead
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 835
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"kick me down in the face"
dont make up nonsense just to have a rhyming sentence, it makes the song sound stupid.
__________________
.hiding, the meaning of.
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2003-03-07, 21:12
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New Blood
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: North west UK
Posts: 9
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I missed the comma
Should be
Kick me down, in the face.
Thanks for the comment anyway 
__________________
Do you want to take a life?
Do you want to cross that line?
Cause it's a long way back from hell,and you don't want to come with me .
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2003-03-07, 21:58
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Supreme Metalhead
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 835
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eh, still doesn't make sense.
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.hiding, the meaning of.
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2003-03-07, 22:40
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New Blood
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: North west UK
Posts: 9
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Kick me down ,then kick me in the face .
Seems pretty simple to me . 
__________________
Do you want to take a life?
Do you want to cross that line?
Cause it's a long way back from hell,and you don't want to come with me .
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2003-03-08, 05:10
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Supreme Metalhead
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 835
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makes sense if you say "then kick me in the face" but kick me down, in the face doesn't.
__________________
.hiding, the meaning of.
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2003-03-09, 01:07
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Atlanta, Ga, USA
Posts: 153
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Whether that line makes sense or not, can't we just agree that this sucks donkeys for quarters? And stop fucking saying dat. When you're too lazy to type a god damn "t" and then an "h", you deserve to be shot in the face.
Cheers,
x  x
__________________
"As Horrifying as Being Raped by a Grizzly Bear in Front of a Full Body Mirror" one of my many song titles
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2003-03-09, 03:46
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Colorado, U.S.A.
Posts: 277
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Oh DarkestHour, give demanufacture a break! English is obivious not his or her's first language!!
And on the song/poem - atleast the title made me think it was going to be about sex or an under payed Las Vegas whore.
Quote:
However,you know you can do
Almost anything.
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Not interesting - vague...
Quote:
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Kick me down in the face,
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Already had a discussion about this...
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And I will merely stand in awe,
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I thought you were "kicked" down... should you not be standing? Up, down, inbetween, not sure?
And the beauty and grace was a cliche... atleast to me. Meh. |
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2003-03-09, 19:06
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New Blood
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: North west UK
Posts: 9
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Well, thanks guys,you made me realize how lame it was,and it was!
But the music kicks ass,so I guess I'm just going to have to write some more.I'm a musician primarily,I find it hard to write lyrics,but seeing as I'm singing I have no choice....
I'll update when I have done some more.
__________________
Do you want to take a life?
Do you want to cross that line?
Cause it's a long way back from hell,and you don't want to come with me .
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2003-03-11, 05:17
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Supreme Metalhead
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Gotham City
Posts: 934
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yeah dat would be kool, i know english and i know how to spell, i invite u to shoot me in the face mate 
__________________
run at me
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2003-03-11, 12:14
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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Maybe use it for an outline and beef it up a little. Not a bad idea. Just a little too short for what it says . But that's purely my opinion.
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2003-03-14, 02:42
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Supreme Metalhead
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 655
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It's shitty!!!! Maybe something good for some rap song or something liek gay linkin park but other than that it suck' man, sorry to say I'm not trying to be mean but I'm just giving you my oppinion.
__________________
walk through nature's dwelling
hide from obscure trees listening
winter brings gloom, brings remnants of our shadows
twilight casts spells on those who espouse their fate
ice pricks necks like knives, leaving shards of cadaverous skin
tears spout from eyes, shunned from mankind's den
(Prayer For Cleansing/ "A Dead Soal Born")
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