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  #1  
Old 2008-09-04, 17:19
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Amadeus Amadeus is offline
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Observation

A smile was yours my dear
Fascinating turn any way you look
Need a paper well just tear
When once open free for taking just a book
For me to see and hear
Unintentional can still make a goodly catch
With a wellplaced hook

Passing day by day I saw
Spectator of the chart and what's a stage
Now the end win loss draw
You're the participant and what's a cage
But I'll recall the pawn
Yes I will take and carry along the oddest sight
Of what is, and what is lack of might

Do your worst, do your best
Bring me down, ay my own
All you can think, do your cruelest jest
Recall how all that bile
Could kill a lot but never
A certain silent smile
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"He preferred the hard truth over his dearest illusion. That, is the heart of science."
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"Imagination is more important than intelligence" - Einstein
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  #2  
Old 2008-09-08, 11:36
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L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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I read this a few days ago and thought I'd wait a bit and reread it for a differnt conclusion, but alas, it's the same. The first couple verses I'm not getting. The last one seems to have a better rhythm to it, but I'm just topicless on what it's about. Or is it? I know you!!
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-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #3  
Old 2008-09-08, 12:17
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Amadeus Amadeus is offline
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No, it's really unfair to have someone else read it, since I've written it in the same way I think - that is, every line, in this case, refers to three different events/concepts. But to translate a bit - 1, unusal fondness given, which turned out to be mainly a trap into near slavery 2, it was kind of fascinating to observe, the blundering about in an unknown area, but also how it was quite impressively broken 3, not least, I'm impressed by the spirit - the smile mentioned at the beginning never really seemed to fade.
I took the extra long road of not writing I/he/she in this explanation, the reason for which was given at the beginning.
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Listening to Cannibal Corpse and cutting trees with a chainsaw, now that's metal

"He preferred the hard truth over his dearest illusion. That, is the heart of science."
- Carl Sagan

"Imagination is more important than intelligence" - Einstein
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  #4  
Old 2008-09-08, 18:03
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I don't know if I'd say it was unfair. It's just a piece that's harder for me to figure out. Lots of people write things basically for themselves, but share it with other people. With your explanations it makes a lot more sense now. Thanks for that.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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