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  #1  
Old 2008-09-21, 16:49
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Alienation

Mechanic pulse
Intoxicates the planet
What have you become?
Humanity rationalized to death
Absurdist rationality
This change of seasons is final
We will rust away
Earth will shatter
Our words tear down the sky
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Old 2008-09-23, 10:30
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I didn't like the rationalized/rationality so close together. I'd change one or the other, but otherwise this is a good, thoughtful read for as brief as it is.
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Old 2008-09-24, 14:51
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maybe you're right about that.Thank you for the feedback!
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