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  #1  
Old 2002-11-10, 07:03
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Tattered Tattered is offline
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Whats the worst that can happen?

I was thinking negative thoughts (which i shouldnt of) before my performance infront of the school, of what bad could happen to me..and then i thought i could create a thread about the really bad/bad things that could happen to u while performing this is my best one.

*ahem*

Ok your half way through your solo performance, and its going great, the crowd are really into this, and then your strap snaps, and your bass lands on the floor, and the fretboard snaps in half and the strings go flying..u bend down in embaressment, to pick it up, when your Huge 7ft 500 watt amp falls on you from behind..

Paints quite a picture doesent it?..if you have any negative thoughts to beat this one, or bad embaressing past experiences..please share..

Cheers
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  #2  
Old 2002-11-10, 09:38
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Oh yeah I've had these kinda foolish incidents haha..

our vocalist pulled the cord out of my fx pedals twice even though I taped it down realllly good (he just ripped the cord out with the tape and it ended up 2 metres away, that sucked)
it looks stupid if you pick up the cord and put it in an play further, its just stupid!
I never have any jack-dropouts anymore, I tape the cord to my bass and I tie it to my bass amp so it won't drop out at that end.

ehm lemme think, I had a microphone that was kinda dead once and ehm I didn't have any more problems, well not yet eheh.

our guitarist had a blown-up amp once and our drummer had a drumkit that constantly moved because of the double bass pedals or something.

never had broken strings or a broken strap (I use straplocks and tape ehe)
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  #3  
Old 2002-11-10, 09:48
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Lol, just make up something negative, that would be hilarious if u were the observer. lol
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  #4  
Old 2002-11-10, 10:38
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yeah hehe

a guy got pushed out of the moshpit, smacked his head into the monitor, the monitor fell of the stage, destroying the power cables it took with him,
huge-ass shock hazard, vocalist gets electrocuted, so does guitarist, he falls over, taking his peavey triple X amp with him, that falls on the drummers head, he's out cold and falls over forward with his head on the fx pedals so everything is fucked up,
the bassist ofcourse survives the menace

he gets hit by a truck on the way home
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  #5  
Old 2002-11-10, 13:04
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mrweijia mrweijia is offline
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a guy is playing bass real hard, thrashing around. then the bass flys up, hits him in the mouth and the strings get caught on his braces. and he has a custom made bass that was made really heavy, so it falls off, pulling a few teeth along with it. the bends over to pick up the bass and his pants rip, now he's holding the bass and then he suddenly realises that theres a giant hole in his pants. in desparation, he trips, lands on the bass and gets sodomized.
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  #6  
Old 2002-11-10, 13:29
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Lol nice one man, about the teeth, haha ok i got another one


Ok this guy is slapping his bass all around, when he pops the d string it snaps and whips him in the face, causing blindness, so he topples off the stage and lands gut first into the spare guitars at the bottom of the stage, as he impales himself on the top of a jackson(yeah ouch!) , as you hear the machineheads scraping past his bones.


kinda scrungy
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Last edited by Tattered : 2002-11-10 at 13:32.
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  #7  
Old 2002-11-12, 20:49
Gigantic Penis Gigantic Penis is offline
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ok I got one:


A guy is playing bass in front of a huge crowd, when suddenly, a 300 pound gorilla jumps down from the ceiling and proceeds to rape him for like 2 hours. The man is beaten and bloody, and tries to crawl off stage, and the crowd is just watching in awe. Then, an elephant walks onto the stage and sits directly on the man's head. The elephant then walks away, while the man's head is up the elephant's ass, then he is dragged through the city, while all his friends watch as he is dragged by the head, finally he is pulled out by the horny gorilla who repeats the process in front of the man's friends........
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  #8  
Old 2002-11-12, 21:47
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CradleOfFilth CradleOfFilth is offline
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pretty cool

mine: you are playing a solo, everyone look at you, then you fall. ( your mama said you to tie your shoes )

or: your are playing, then for no reason, the bass get detuned....
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  #9  
Old 2002-11-12, 23:25
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Quote:
Originally posted by Gigantic Penis
ok I got one:


A guy is playing bass in front of a huge crowd, when suddenly, a 300 pound gorilla jumps down from the ceiling and proceeds to rape him for like 2 hours. The man is beaten and bloody, and tries to crawl off stage, and the crowd is just watching in awe. Then, an elephant walks onto the stage and sits directly on the man's head. The elephant then walks away, while the man's head is up the elephant's ass, then he is dragged through the city, while all his friends watch as he is dragged by the head, finally he is pulled out by the horny gorilla who repeats the process in front of the man's friends........


hahahahhaha, and it goes on and on and on....
here's mine:

a guy plays bass, and he's doing all these tricks and he ends up playing with his teeth/tongue. so, its around his mouth, then all of a sudden, this naked babe with the most beautiful tits gets up, the guy gets an erection. he's standing there in awe, when his bass falls down, breaks off of the straps, and lands on his penis. then it proceeds to fall to the floor, where the strings snap one by one, hitting him in his erection. SNAP!!! SNAP!! SNAP!!! SNAP!! SNAP!! SNAP!! oh yeah, its a 6 string
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  #10  
Old 2002-11-13, 13:49
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Tattered Tattered is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by mrweijia


a guy plays bass, and he's doing all these tricks and he ends up playing with his teeth/tongue. so, its around his mouth, then all of a sudden, this naked babe with the most beautiful tits gets up, the guy gets an erection. he's standing there in awe, when his bass falls down, breaks off of the straps, and lands on his penis. then it proceeds to fall to the floor, where the strings snap one by one, hitting him in his erection. SNAP!!! SNAP!! SNAP!!! SNAP!! SNAP!! SNAP!! oh yeah, its a 6 string


ahh fuck man, that must cane..how can u think of that...well it just goes from the babe with the tits..and ur imagination wanders! lol
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  #11  
Old 2002-11-14, 06:03
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Oooooh guys.

The worst that can happen for guitarists and bassists is getting a B.C.Rich head up your ass or into your crotch.
I'd prefer a 50kg-amp on my back or foot, or strings that snap in my face, than this fucking head in my rectum.
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  #12  
Old 2002-11-14, 08:17
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hahah, yeah that's right, bc rich makes some nasty guitars that can inflict serious injuries! I do wanna continue to be able to produce baby's If you catch my drift
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  #13  
Old 2002-11-14, 14:11
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hehe, yeah dude
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  #14  
Old 2002-12-14, 14:13
killingismybiz killingismybiz is offline
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How about this one -
Instead of playing a bass infront of a crowd you're playing a guitar.


okay, it's not funny but I believe I made a point.


+ yeah BC RICH makes some 'dangerous' guitars/ basses. I wanted a a warlock bass(it was 400 something dollars) once... but I spent most of my money on my guitar earlier... darn.

Last edited by killingismybiz : 2002-12-14 at 14:20.
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  #15  
Old 2002-12-14, 14:16
walpurgis walpurgis is offline
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Haha, how about your jamming onstage playing one of your band's best songs, and are so into it that you don't notice the metal chick lesbian fest going on to the right and behind you, featuring Tarja, Angela Gassow, and a few select others...

Then they get up and go in the back as soon as the song gets to the end part, and you miss the whole damn thing.

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  #16  
Old 2002-12-14, 14:51
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damn. that would really suck.
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  #17  
Old 2002-12-14, 16:14
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Quote:
Originally posted by walpurgis
Haha, how about your jamming onstage playing one of your band's best songs, and are so into it that you don't notice the metal chick lesbian fest going on to the right and behind you, featuring Tarja, Angela Gassow, and a few select others...

Then they get up and go in the back as soon as the song gets to the end part, and you miss the whole damn thing.



If someone tells me afterwards, i'd commit suicide!!!
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  #18  
Old 2003-01-13, 16:28
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how about, the dudes thrashin real hard, sweatin up a storm, & it all runs down
in the electronics, catches fire, & and the whole place burns down.
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  #19  
Old 2003-01-14, 13:51
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Or how about your def and you blow up a 400 watt amp!
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  #20  
Old 2003-02-06, 22:21
se7enth joker se7enth joker is offline
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wow....

i dont care, take the least painful one of these and it still sucks, yeah and i definetly wouldnt be wishing that 6 string dick snap on anyone, lol

Lets hope this kinda stuff never happens to us
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