MetalTabs.com - your source for Metal tabs
Home Forum What's New Submit a Tab FAQ Links Contact Us Link to Us


Go Back   MetalTabs.com Forum > Metal > Poetry Lyrical
User Name
Password


Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 2007-05-17, 14:39
AbyssicSoul AbyssicSoul is offline
New Blood
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 15
Ritual I and II

Ritual I

Lightning strikes the blood-red sky,
I summon the unholy beast,
Darkness wakes from where you lye,
The soul of death upon I feast

The cold blade cuts you flesh as I do his sign,
Writhing in agony you give your last breath,
Your life you'd spent, your time was nigh,
Your blood I drained till no life was left

Cloaked in black, the ones who reap,
Their creeping shadows roam the night,
The fallen angels, tears of blood they weep,
Flames are cast as they take flight

Haunted by dark desires of which they seek,
Nocturnal creatures are raped by the sun,
But when night falls we will impale all holy and weak,
United with Lucifer the evil one.

Ritual II

Raise the horns in prideful blasphemy,
Receive the blood filled chalice,
The book of Jesus we ignite,
A canvas for our malice,

Ride the winds of chaotic splendour,
Following the carnage of your darkened path,
Together we unfold the arcane truths,
Racing through the scriptures of infernal wrath,

Swallowing the poison of forbidden sin,
To the labyrinth and the beast my hands are tied,
My soul is no longer my own,
I forsake it for the pleasures of demonic rite

The cryptic bell doth toll,
All pure and good they flee,
The hand of death I take in mine,
Entwined in godless glee.

I hope no one here is selfish enough to steal my poems. If you are that selfish and stupid then you will get found out eventually.

Last edited by AbyssicSoul : 2007-05-17 at 14:42.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 2007-05-17, 15:53
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,880
Send a message via ICQ to L,B'XXX Send a message via AIM to L,B'XXX Send a message via Yahoo to L,B'XXX
Oh well, that's a great way to make friends and get comments. If you're so worried about it don't post. Also note the copyright info at the bottom of every page if you're that worried.

Personally I wouldn't steal it because it's been done to death. But to be constructive, there's a place or 2 that need smoothed out in wording that seems like it was just typed too quickly.

You obviously can pen a story cohesively so that's a positive for you, but there's not a thing here that's really a unique idea. The last verse wasn't bad, but the rest just didn't grab me.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 2007-05-17, 22:27
Infinity's Avatar
Infinity Infinity is offline
Life is pain.
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 4,510
bad.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 2007-05-18, 12:59
Enoch-666 Enoch-666 is offline
New Blood
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Infinity
bad.

No way man......im stealin the fucker.lol
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 2007-05-19, 14:35
JOAMdude's Avatar
JOAMdude JOAMdude is offline
Post-whore
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Candyland
Posts: 1,542
abyssic soul, not only are you a cold jerk but you also wrote a very unoriginal piece
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 21:52.


========

Contact Us | Privacy Policy | Disclaimer
Copyright © 2001-2009 MetalTabs.com. All Rights Reserved.
Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.