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2007-02-20, 21:44
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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10,000 Legions
I like this one the best. Might even put music to it.
Verse 1:
Unleash hell
Slaughter the weak
Destroy this Empire
End this realm
Purify the plains
Ravage the foes
Kill their beloved ones
Eradicate the heirs
Chorus:
10,000 legions at my command
Here to annihilate the damned
10,000 legions at my authority
Bringing to the world true harmony
Verse 2:
Engulf their armies
Match steel with steel
Purge their cities
Into an endless inferno
Sever the bloodlines
Leave none standing
The is the war
To end all wars
Chorus:
10,000 legions at my command
Here to annihilate the damned
10,000 legions at my authority
Bringing to the world true harmony
Bridge:
Genocide is the only way
We'll end your suffering this day
Enjoy an afterlife of tranquillity
Or endure an eternal brutality
6 billion years of violence and decay
It must end this Judgment Day
The cosmos is on the verge of destruction
The legions on the sidelines no longer can stay
Accoustic Break:
Surrender
No need for tears
No need for this war
We only want peace
Look to yourselves
You know the truth
If you desire silence
We will save you (And if you...)
Bridge (back to loudness):
Desire war, carnage, and the urge to maim
You arrogant bastards will see why we came!
(Instrumental Break)
Chorus Breakdown: (2x)
10,000 legions at my command
Here to annihilate the damned
10,000 legions at my authority
Bringing to the world true harmony
On the 3rd time, this overlaps the breakdown;
Genocide is the only way
We'll end your suffering this day
Enjoy an afterlife of tranquillity
Or endure an eternal brutality
6 billion years of violence and decay
It must end this Judgment Day
The cosmos is on the verge of destruction
The legions on the sidelines NO LONGER WILL STAY!!!
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
Keep checking for new crap.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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Last edited by CompelledToLacerate : 2007-02-21 at 00:39.
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2007-02-20, 23:06
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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Now that's cool. Good job on that one.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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2007-02-21, 03:47
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Senior Metalhead
Banned
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Drammen, Norway
Posts: 163
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Sweet song! Yeah, deffinately put it to music. Well done on the rhyming stuff.
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2007-02-21, 14:22
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Candyland
Posts: 1,542
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it's definetly better, but wehn it is so blatant prose stuff, it loses a little bit in all the synonyms for destruction, u know what i mean?
__________________
Quote:
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Originally Posted by BOB_ZE_METALLEU
are you telling us that you have 4 boobs...2 small and 2 bigs
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2007-02-21, 16:38
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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No, not exactly. What do you mean?
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2007-02-21, 18:51
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: terra firma
Posts: 6,940
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I could hear Iron Maiden sing that one
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2007-02-21, 19:14
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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Iron Maiden wouldn't have a breakdown ending the song.
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2007-02-21, 19:16
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: terra firma
Posts: 6,940
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
Iron Maiden wouldn't have a breakdown ending the song.
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So
I was only talking about the lyrics and nothing else |
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2007-02-21, 19:36
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Candyland
Posts: 1,542
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What i mean is, if all you have is words in prose, describing the immediate situation the extreme effect of death gets lost in the process of repetition. If there is no base for comparison with other things, the death and destruction gets dumbed down. Don't just say:
Blood pours through the halls, there is skulls and shit!!!!
Some guy impales infested guts with a rusty brutal sword.
Try:
Crimson blanket, surface undisturbed, seeps through the royal battlements
Penetrated, the skin divides, that which is preciously guarded by flesh, cruelly ripped out and remains, vulnerable, on the grimy floor
__________________
Quote:
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Originally Posted by BOB_ZE_METALLEU
are you telling us that you have 4 boobs...2 small and 2 bigs
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2007-02-22, 01:51
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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MY diction sucks. That's the problem. I couldn't think of something like that without you or anybody else saying it.
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2007-02-22, 18:14
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Candyland
Posts: 1,542
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Then try practice or else your writeing will all sound really blunt
__________________
Quote:
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Originally Posted by BOB_ZE_METALLEU
are you telling us that you have 4 boobs...2 small and 2 bigs
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2007-02-22, 20:19
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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I'll try doing that, but I personally like blunt material. Just up-front stuff. Then again, this could be because of my poor skills of comprehending metaphors, similes, symbolisms, and so on. It's always been about the plot to me, not the subliminal message.
Plus;
Unleash hell
Slaughter the weak
Destroy this Empire
End this realm
I've been trying to cut down on making long stanzas (is that what they're called?). How could I improve something like this without making it too long?
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
Keep checking for new crap.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2007-02-27, 15:11
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: DM WORLD
Posts: 187
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having demolition hammer doing this song would be awesome
__________________
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Infinity
anything to point out their hypocrisy.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Infinity
He's calling you a faggot piece of shit because you are young and unintelligent, and most of all, you are a boring, stereotyopical, close minded metal head. Please don't pretend to understand anything PST says. Please leave the forum now.
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2007-02-27, 19:52
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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Who's Demolition Hammer?
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
Keep checking for new crap.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2007-02-28, 00:17
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: DM WORLD
Posts: 187
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
Who's Demolition Hammer?
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ha ha ha that was funny never heard of dh ha ha ha
__________________
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Infinity
anything to point out their hypocrisy.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Infinity
He's calling you a faggot piece of shit because you are young and unintelligent, and most of all, you are a boring, stereotyopical, close minded metal head. Please don't pretend to understand anything PST says. Please leave the forum now.
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2007-02-28, 06:32
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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... I'm serious.
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
Keep checking for new crap.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2007-02-28, 06:38
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Life is pain.
Banned
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 4,510
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i thought this kinda sucked to be honest. just thought i'd piss on your parade there  |
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2007-02-28, 06:48
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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You didn't piss on it. Just toally soaked it in a golden shower..... that oddly tastes like whiskey.... what have you been doing?
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
Keep checking for new crap.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2007-02-28, 14:15
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Quantum.
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,149
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You know, when I read the title and looked at the first verse my first thought was "å, nu e han igång igen" which roughly translates to " oh, here he goes again" which roughly translates to "when will we see a song about wookies?!"
With the right music it might be quite OK. Though JOAM has a point in that it could benefit from a bit more thought.
__________________
Listening to Cannibal Corpse and cutting trees with a chainsaw, now that's metal
"He preferred the hard truth over his dearest illusion. That, is the heart of science."
- Carl Sagan
"Imagination is more important than intelligence" - Einstein
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2007-02-28, 19:13
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: DM WORLD
Posts: 187
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
... I'm serious.
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they are a 80's thrash band they sound like slayer
__________________
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Infinity
anything to point out their hypocrisy.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Infinity
He's calling you a faggot piece of shit because you are young and unintelligent, and most of all, you are a boring, stereotyopical, close minded metal head. Please don't pretend to understand anything PST says. Please leave the forum now.
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2007-02-28, 21:41
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Senior Metalhead
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Hell
Posts: 269
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Quote:
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"when will we see a song about wookies?!"
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That's what I've been saying all along!
__________________
CompelledToLacerate because of his sweaty balls and Simpsons dissing.
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2007-03-01, 01:31
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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YOu and your obsession with wookiees! Just go downtown and find a really hairy fat woman!
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
Keep checking for new crap.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2008-04-30, 04:14
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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Been a while, but I did some cleaning up on this song. Mostly just rearrangement so it'll fit the music. Not done yet, of course, probably will do some more rearranging.
Verse 1:
Unleash hell
Slaughter the cause
Destroy this Empire
End this realm
(bridge)
Purify the plains
Ravage the foes
Save the pure ones
Ignore their blows
Chorus:
10,000 legions at my command
Here to annihilate the damned
10,000 legions at my authority
Delivering to the world true harmony
Verse 2:
Engulf their armies
Match their lead with steel
Baptize their cities
With an endless inferno
Sever the bloodlines
Leave none standing
The is the purge
To end all fighting
Chorus:
10,000 legions at my command
Here to annihilate the damned
10,000 legions at my authority
Delivering to the world true harmony
Bridge:
Genocide is the only way
We'll end your suffering today
Enjoy an afterlife of tranquility
Or endure an eternal brutality
4 billion years of violence and decay
It must end on this Judgment Day
The cosmos is on the verge of destruction
The legions on the sidelines can no longer stay
Acoustic Break:
Surrender
No need for tears
No need for this war
We desire peace
Look to yourselves
Know the truth
If you implore silence
We will save you (And if you...)
Bridge (back to loudness):
Covet war, carnage, and the urge to maim
You arrogant bastards will see why we came!
(Instrumental Break)
Chorus Breakdown: (2x)
10,000 legions at my command
Here to annihilate the damned
10,000 legions at my authority
Delivering to the world true harmony
Overlap:
Genocide is the only way
We'll end your suffering this day
Enjoy an afterlife of tranquility
Or endure an eternal brutality
4 billion years of violence and decay
It must end on this Judgment Day
The cosmos is on the verge of destruction
The legions on the sidelines WILL NO LONGER STAY!!!
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!
Keep checking for new crap.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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