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  #1  
Old 2007-01-06, 15:17
sic sic is offline
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First metal song

This is the first metal song I have written.

I Don't.

I don't need your advice
I don't want your help
I don't care about my responsibilities
So just go away and leave me alone
Because I don't NEED
I don't WANT
I don't CARE ABOUT
YOU
I don't want your gifts
I don't care about your feelings
I don't need your sympathy
I just want you to go away and leave me alone
Because I don't WANT
I don't NEED
I don't CARE ABOUT
YOU
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  #2  
Old 2007-01-06, 15:50
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Pr0az Pr0az is offline
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Didn't flow well at all. I can't belive you put enough effort behind this piece. Keep trying .
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  #3  
Old 2007-01-06, 19:29
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JOAMdude JOAMdude is offline
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sounds like slipknot
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  #4  
Old 2007-01-06, 19:50
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deathxleprosyx deathxleprosyx is offline
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sounds like the nameless by slipknot
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  #5  
Old 2007-01-06, 21:02
Requiem Requiem is offline
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That is shit!!!
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  #6  
Old 2007-01-06, 21:16
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Chris Rezendes Chris Rezendes is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sic
This is the first metal song I have written.

I Don't.

I don't need your advice
I don't want your help
I don't care about my responsibilities
So just go away and leave me alone
Because I don't NEED
I don't WANT
I don't CARE ABOUT
YOU
I don't want your gifts
I don't care about your feelings
I don't need your sympathy
I just want you to go away and leave me alone
Because I don't WANT
I don't NEED
I don't CARE ABOUT
YOU


I'm sure your parents will be pwn3d when you 'accidently' leave this 'song' on the living room floor and they read it. You, yourself, are going to laugh pretty hard at this when you accidently bump into it on your hard drive 3 or 4 years from now.
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  #7  
Old 2007-01-06, 21:33
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CompelledToLacerate CompelledToLacerate is offline
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Sounded too much like a childish temper. No offense. I know I'm not very good at lyrics, but this one didn't really get to me or make me think, if that makes any sense.
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  #8  
Old 2007-01-07, 07:06
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L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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I thought of Godsmack. I think your other piece is much better. What Chris said is pretty much what I think, too. Finding it in a few years will make you see a major improvement if you keep writing. If you like it though hang onto it. I keep all my pieces. Even the not so popular ones just to see improvements and also the moods I've been in.
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