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2007-01-06, 19:17
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New Blood
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In your head
Posts: 38
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First metal song
This is the first metal song I have written.
I Don't.
I don't need your advice
I don't want your help
I don't care about my responsibilities
So just go away and leave me alone
Because I don't NEED
I don't WANT
I don't CARE ABOUT
YOU
I don't want your gifts
I don't care about your feelings
I don't need your sympathy
I just want you to go away and leave me alone
Because I don't WANT
I don't NEED
I don't CARE ABOUT
YOU
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2007-01-06, 19:50
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,924
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Didn't flow well at all. I can't belive you put enough effort behind this piece. Keep trying  .
__________________
“Remember to live, eat, sleep and breathe music for the mind, play from your heart and never be swayed by the current trends.” ~Rusty Cooley
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2007-01-06, 23:29
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Candyland
Posts: 1,542
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sounds like slipknot
__________________
Quote:
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Originally Posted by BOB_ZE_METALLEU
are you telling us that you have 4 boobs...2 small and 2 bigs
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2007-01-06, 23:50
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Senior Metalhead
Banned
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 140
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sounds like the nameless by slipknot
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2007-01-07, 01:02
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Post-whore
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: terra firma
Posts: 6,940
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That is shit!!!
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2007-01-07, 01:16
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Attorney at Bird Law
Forum Leader
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: Alone here, with emptiness, eagles, and snow...
Posts: 3,567
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sic
This is the first metal song I have written.
I Don't.
I don't need your advice
I don't want your help
I don't care about my responsibilities
So just go away and leave me alone
Because I don't NEED
I don't WANT
I don't CARE ABOUT
YOU
I don't want your gifts
I don't care about your feelings
I don't need your sympathy
I just want you to go away and leave me alone
Because I don't WANT
I don't NEED
I don't CARE ABOUT
YOU
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I'm sure your parents will be pwn3d when you 'accidently' leave this 'song' on the living room floor and they read it. You, yourself, are going to laugh pretty hard at this when you accidently bump into it on your hard drive 3 or 4 years from now.
__________________
Trust in god, he'll give you shoes!
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2007-01-07, 01:33
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FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 3,003
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Sounded too much like a childish temper. No offense. I know I'm not very good at lyrics, but this one didn't really get to me or make me think, if that makes any sense.
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DETH TOLL!!!
Keep checking for new crap.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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2007-01-07, 11:06
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,881
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I thought of Godsmack. I think your other piece is much better. What Chris said is pretty much what I think, too. Finding it in a few years will make you see a major improvement if you keep writing. If you like it though hang onto it. I keep all my pieces. Even the not so popular ones just to see improvements and also the moods I've been in.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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