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  #21  
Old 2006-09-07, 12:30
PST 88 PST 88 is offline
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http://www.myspace.com/anchorheaddarthmetal

Get rid of lines like 'pussy piece of shit.' If you want it to be Star Wars themed, then at least make an effort to write in the same manner as all of the other people who do this shit for a living and who've defined what the Star War universe is going to be.
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  #22  
Old 2006-09-07, 15:50
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Yeah, but "Pussy piece of shit" is so metal!

I'll figure out something different for that part. I wasn't too sure about it either.

I saw that MYSpace page. If anything, that band is why we decided to go with Star Wars since we know it is possible to do it.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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  #23  
Old 2006-09-23, 16:39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
Picking up from here, I've written more lyrics;

I must kill the noise!

(Bridge)

Verse 2:

A race is nothing without its obstacles
Some I can use to my own means
Others are distractions that stifle my power
Giving him more time

A woman who has lost her life like me
She begs on the street for charity
I look at her, trying to see myself
All I saw was weakness

She laid a hand on me pleading for help
I took that hand and ripped it off
She cried begging for mercy
My hatred gave her death

I grabbed the bitch and stabbed her heart
I felt my power grow as she died
No time to rejoice, there is an echo in the Force
Follower of the Light has come for me...

(Bridge)

Chorus: (Done in either a clean voice or different pitch growl, to give the illusion of another person talking in the story/song)

Old ally, brother, friend of mine
Your dark agenda pains me so
There is still time, you can still turn back
Redeem yourself and come back to the light

You will not find peace in your plot for revenge
The dark side brings only suffering, no harmony
Remember, "There is no emotion, there is peace"
Return to the light, for me, for yourself

Verse 3 (Back to the previous growl [aka the dude this story is about]):

I was nothing before, just a fucking cripple
Your way brings stagnation, mine brings me power
It is clear now that you need a demonstration
Experience the dark side, you weak crippled cunt!

(Synth: Lightsaber duel layered with Palpatine dialogue from Return of the Jedi; "Young fool. Only now, at the end, do you understand).

My anger brings me power, brings me strength, brings me victory
Passion is all I need, fuck your peace and your serenity
Your path has lead to your own demise
Death is the only way you will ever learn

(Die!) You weak echo in the Force
(Die!) You are a flaw that needs correcting
(Die!) You now know the pain that I go through
(Chorus voice) STAND DOWN!

(Repeat chorus in the clean/different growl voice)

Bridge to Breakdown (back to original growl):

He's here
I can feel his power
His fear is untamed, and it eats at him slowly
My inner thirst for revenge is quenched

Breakdown:

You took my heir, you took my love
You tricked my brethren and didn't pay
Your death will give me strength
The ability need to end my pain

Your skill lacks in focus, you pussy piece of shit...

.... and that's it so far.


The remaining lyrics...

It's no shock you wallow in fear of facing Hell
Nowhere to hide, nowhere to run now
Your life ends here at the stroke of my saber

(Obi-wan quote, "Don't give in to hate, That leads to the Dark Side.")

Stay out of this
My revenge will be done

(Lightsaber slicing noise, scream)

(Anakin Quote, "What have I done?")

(Chorus)

Outro:

I have slayed my nightmare
I hoped for harmony after vengence
That peace didn't remain
Just the blood on my hands

In hopes of serving justice, I served darkness
It pains me that it took so long
I slayed peoplebecause of their frail existance
There remained my reflection on the Dark man's dying corpse

I deserve no right to redemption or forgiveness
After falling, I've learned no contrast holds all answers
I lack the maturity to handle the Force
No more shall I wield it until I forgive myself

My dark path of hate is over
I will remember forever
It's time to lay to rest my loved ones
May their souls and mine be granted eternal tranquility
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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  #24  
Old 2006-09-25, 02:13
PST 88 PST 88 is offline
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How long is this song?
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  #25  
Old 2006-09-25, 03:30
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CompelledToLacerate CompelledToLacerate is offline
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approx. 7 min and 40 sec.


This isn't, however, the final draft. When I can, I"m gonna send my lyrics to my friend (lead guitarist) and see what his revisions are. He's better at lyrics than me, and I'll take his and your (the people who suggested stuff) suggestions and I'll be finished with the lyrics.

I"m getting the hang of writing stuff.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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  #26  
Old 2006-09-26, 23:54
HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! is offline
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Exclamation WTF?!

dude, how weak do I have to present myself as being before you'll mount my waiting anus? you actually think I can wait a 'long time' just because you're 'far, far away'?

okay...
1. My penis is the size of a single-use tube of toothpaste!
2. My ass has been invaded and dominated more times than Sicily.
3. THERE IS NO THREE!
4. Your lyrics are extremely arousing. I have used them just now to give myself an erection, which I am about to use to masturbate with.


when will people learn?

Last edited by PST 88 : 2006-09-27 at 01:53.
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  #27  
Old 2006-09-27, 00:33
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YOur constructive criticism has been well reciend and will be documented properly.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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  #28  
Old 2006-09-27, 01:53
PST 88 PST 88 is offline
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As always, keep the criticism constructive or keep the fuck out of my forum.
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  #29  
Old 2006-09-27, 08:46
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Infinity Infinity is offline
Life is pain.
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  #30  
Old 2007-05-26, 02:13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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  #31  
Old 2007-10-28, 22:24
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CompelledToLacerate CompelledToLacerate is offline
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I've been working on revision for all my songs, and I wanna see what you guys think. Is this progress or not?

Creature of the Dark Side
Wallowing in cowardice
Preying on the helpless

Pathetic murderer
Our paths have never crossed
Yet you took my life

With a thrust of your saber
You took my heir to the throne
You’ve slain the woman I love

My Masters
How blind can they be
To pardon your malice

I see the flaws in our code
The light is inert
I must fall to end you...

The Jedi way is failure
So I must follow the contrast
My goal masked in blackness

I cannot fall completely
Or I will drown in corruption
My path mustn’t lead to destruction

From Dantooine to Manaan,
I follow the black stench
From Core to Rim,
I search for that wretch

My journey presents obstacles
Some I can use to my own means
Others stifle my power

A woman, lifeless and empty like me
She begs on the street for charity
All I saw was mediocrity

I grappled and ended her
I ascended as she fell

No time to rejoice
An echo in the Force
Follower of the Light
Coming to stop me

(Clean)
Old ally, brother, friend of mine
Your dark agenda agonizes me
There is still time for redemption

No such thing as peace in revenge
The dark side brings only suffering
"There is no emotion, there is peace"
Return to the light, salivate your soul

(growl)
I was nothing but a walking shell
Your stagnation is the true threat
A demonstration is in order
Experience the dark side!

(Synth.: Lightsaber duel layered with Palpatine dialogue from Return of the Jedi; "Young fool. Only now, at the end, do you understand.” ).

The Dark Side brings me victory
Passion is my law, not your serenity
Your frail path has lead to your end

(Clean)
Old ally, brother, friend of mine
Your dark agenda agonizes me
There is still time for redemption

No such thing as peace in revenge
The dark side brings only suffering
"There is no emotion, there is peace"
Return to the light, salivate your soul

(Growl)
He has no right to live
With this blade, I shall give
He has no right to live
With this blade, I shall give

Judgment!

(Anakin Quote, "What have I done?")

(clean)
Old ally, brother, friend of mine
Your dark agenda agonizes me
There is still time for redemption

No such thing as peace in revenge
The dark side brings only suffering
"There is no emotion, there is peace"
Return to the light, salivate your soul

(spoken)
The nightmare is over
Nothing remains but
A stain on my hands

I deserve no pardon for
My ineptitude
No more shall I wield it

My dark path is over
I will remember it best
When I join my loved ones
May our souls receive eternal rest
__________________
DETH TOLL!!!

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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  #32  
Old 2007-12-10, 12:00
CAPCOPSNOW CAPCOPSNOW is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 44
your writing technique is very good your subject matter is on the same level as something that came out of my ass. My advice go out and get some life experience (stop sitting on your ass eating cookies and watching star wars) then write about it using your simple yet stark style
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