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  #1  
Old 2006-08-29, 16:49
CompelledToLacerate's Avatar
CompelledToLacerate CompelledToLacerate is offline
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My Inner Thirst For Justice(Revenge) Is Quenched

Some things I have to say before I write this;

1. First time I've ever written lyrics
2. It's star wars themed
3. Not finished

I only have the intro and the preverse done. The first verse isn't finish, so... yeah. Laugh.

Intro:

No!

Creature of the Dark Side
He could have had me but no
He wallows in a pool of cowardice
And preys on those weaker than him

Pathetic Dark Jedi
You never knew me or cared to come after me
But even if we never met
You still took my life from me

With a slice of your saber
You took the child I adored
With your cruel use of the Force
You tortured and slayed the woman I loved

My Jedi Masters, my next of kin
betrayed me by freeing you
You twisted your lies to mask your taint, and
Because of our ways you were forgiven

I see the flaws in our code
They let shit like you go unpunished
There is no peace, there is emotion
The way of the light won't stop you

I must fall to end you...

Preverse:
1st part: (Yoda audio clip talking about the Dark Side and what it is)

2nd Part:
Anger Rising
Hate Boiling
Cold Blood Flowing
Power focused

3rd part:
I need (spill his blood)
I must obtain (crush his innards)
I can't live without (smash his skull in)
I want Justice(Revenge!)

Verse 1:

The Jedi way is a failed religion
Such a path cannot bring me peace
I must follow the opposite, the contrast
My goal lies in the darkness

I cannot fall completely
Suach a move will result in corruption
I must use the Dark Side to end this injustice
My dark path will not lead to self-destuction

From Dantooine to Manaan, I follow the black stench
From the Core to the Rim, I search in the shadows
I hear the echoes he leaves in the Force
The sound grows stronger as I get close


So yeah. That's all I have so far. I'll post anything else I have written down later.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.

Last edited by CompelledToLacerate : 2006-08-29 at 23:06. Reason: Thanks LBXXX for pointing out the part in the intro I left out
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  #2  
Old 2006-08-29, 17:01
blizzard_beast blizzard_beast is offline
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I lol'd.
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  #3  
Old 2006-08-29, 18:13
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I must say out of all the submissions i have read this is probably the most.... out there yet. As far as topics go. I'm not going to ask why you wrote a star wars set of lyrics, but oh well..

Its actually not that bad.

For first lyrics not too shabby.
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  #4  
Old 2006-08-29, 18:31
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It's not the first time movies have sparked writing. You did leave out a word in the last line of the 5th part of the intro. The word "innards" made me smile. I just can't take that word seriously. Maybe a replacement there unless it's pertinent to his speech.

It wasn't too bad. I liked the last 3 sections after it says 1st verse the best, but the rest was okay. Someone better versed in Star Wars can comment on the actual happenings in it. I saw the first one 5 times, but its been ages since I've seen that and couldn't get into the others. wally made me go in the kitchen and cook when they watched it here.

You had some good form. Hope you write more. You have a good start.
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  #5  
Old 2006-08-29, 19:12
Requiem Requiem is offline
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you need bigger words
im actually writing power metal lyrcis ill postr some when finsh
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  #6  
Old 2006-08-29, 23:18
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Quote:
I lol'd.

I would too if I were you.

Quote:
I must say out of all the submissions i have read this is probably the most.... out there yet. As far as topics go. I'm not going to ask why you wrote a star wars set of lyrics, but oh well..

Its actually not that bad.

For first lyrics not too shabby.

Thanks.

And to answer your question you weren't going to ask ( ), We are basing most of our songs lyric-wise on star wars and Sith and Jedi philosophy.

Quote:
It's not the first time movies have sparked writing. You did leave out a word in the last line of the 5th part of the intro. The word "innards" made me smile. I just can't take that word seriously. Maybe a replacement there unless it's pertinent to his speech.

It wasn't too bad. I liked the last 3 sections after it says 1st verse the best, but the rest was okay. Someone better versed in Star Wars can comment on the actual happenings in it. I saw the first one 5 times, but its been ages since I've seen that and couldn't get into the others. wally made me go in the kitchen and cook when they watched it here.

Thanks for pointing out that error in the intro. The word was "way."

As far as the "Innards" part goes, I was leaning either between "innards" and "organs." Don't know which would capture a reader's attention more. Maybe try to make "Viscera" work, but I dunno.

Must of our lyrics aren't really based on just the movies but on all of the Star Wars universe. In this case, I talk about how a man (or a Jedi) will become that which he hates to obtain the power to obtain justice (which he misconstrudes with "revenge", hence, the title).

Quote:
you need bigger words

I know . That's why I never wrote lyrics because I don't have an extensive vocabulary.

Time to crack open the thesaurus.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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  #7  
Old 2006-08-29, 23:30
blizzard_beast blizzard_beast is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
And to answer your question you weren't going to ask ( ), We are basing most of our songs lyric-wise on star wars and Sith and Jedi philosophy.


No doubt you were KOTOR inspired as well? I see inspirations from the Sith code there...

Quote:
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
Must of our lyrics aren't really based on just the movies but on all of the Star Wars universe. In this case, I talk about how a man (or a Jedi) will become that which he hates to obtain the power to obtain justice (which he misconstrudes with "revenge", hence, the title).


So the guy wants power, but more quickly than it would come if he remained on the light side? The light side is supposed to be stronger anyway.
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  #8  
Old 2006-08-29, 23:43
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blizzard_beast
I see you used a bit of the "Jedi code" from KOTOR as well.

yeah, kind of. Where it says "There is no peace, there is emotion," the code is actually the opposite of that, but from his perspective, this is how he is seeing it.

Quote:
So the guy wants power, but more quickly than it would come if he remained on the light side? The light side is supposed to be stronger anyway.

The light side leads to enlightenment rather than power and a person becomes stronger through patience and time. But emotions such as anger and hate can drive someone to go to drastic measures to achieve their own sense of what is right.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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  #9  
Old 2006-08-30, 08:18
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Hehehe not too bad. Kinda funny in parts though.
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  #10  
Old 2006-08-30, 08:55
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
And to answer your question you weren't going to ask ( ), We are basing most of our songs lyric-wise on star wars and Sith and Jedi philosophy.



Precisely why i didn't ask haha. Do i hear.... yet another genre of metal... No not forest metal. no not troll metal... Stars Wars Metal......
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darko
...Its very annoying to keep having to hear some socially-disabled teen come on these boards talking about all the drugs he's started doing so that he can maybe grasp onto some kind of positive response so he feels better about himself and what he's doing.
About requiem. Aint it the truth...
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  #11  
Old 2006-08-30, 09:55
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tmfreak
Precisely why i didn't ask haha. Do i hear.... yet another genre of metal... No not forest metal. no not troll metal... Stars Wars Metal......

Oh God That would rule.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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  #12  
Old 2006-08-30, 14:16
Requiem Requiem is offline
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write me some pokemon lyrics
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  #13  
Old 2006-08-30, 14:22
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Meh, I would, but I can't find any depth in pokemon like I sort of can in Star Wars. Pokemon is just another product of the corporate machine.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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  #14  
Old 2006-08-30, 14:29
Requiem Requiem is offline
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HEY! dont dis pikachu like that ill write one than
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  #15  
Old 2006-08-30, 15:10
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I love Star Wars, but you're kidding yourself if you think it has any real depth - or at least any that isn't stolen - or is anything more than a corporate product.

The lyrics themselves are blunt, but fine.
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  #16  
Old 2006-08-30, 18:33
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"depth" may be the wrong word. What I meant was that I can find more connections between Star Wars and reapity than I can with something like Pokemon.

And I'm not denying that Star Wars isn't a corporate product. Of course it is. It's made billions of dollars, it's got a line of video games, novels, toys, and so on. The one thing I think sets it apart from other corporate products is that it keeps trying and doesn't make you lose interest.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.

Last edited by CompelledToLacerate : 2006-08-30 at 18:38.
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  #17  
Old 2006-09-06, 18:00
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate

Intro:

No!

Creature of the Dark Side
He could have had me but no
He wallows in a pool of cowardice
And preys on those weaker than him

Pathetic Dark Jedi
You never knew me or cared to come after me
But even if we never met
You still took my life from me

With a slice of your saber
You took the child I adored
With your cruel use of the Force
You tortured and slayed the woman I loved

My Jedi Masters, my next of kin
betrayed me by freeing you
You twisted your lies to mask your taint, and
Because of our ways you were forgiven

I see the flaws in our code
They let shit like you go unpunished
There is no peace, there is emotion
The way of the light won't stop you

I must fall to end you...

Preverse:
1st part: (Yoda audio clip talking about the Dark Side and what it is)

2nd Part:
Anger Rising
Hate Boiling
Cold Blood Flowing
Power focused

3rd part:
I need (spill his blood)
I must obtain (crush his innards)
I can't live without (smash his skull in)
I want Justice(Revenge!)

Verse 1:

The Jedi way is a failed religion
Such a path cannot bring me peace
I must follow the opposite, the contrast
My goal lies in the darkness

I cannot fall completely
Suach a move will result in corruption
I must use the Dark Side to end this injustice
My dark path will not lead to self-destuction

From Dantooine to Manaan, I follow the black stench
From the Core to the Rim, I search in the shadows
I hear the echoes he leaves in the Force
The sound grows stronger as I get close



Picking up from here, I've written more lyrics;

I must kill the noise!

(Bridge)

Verse 2:

A race is nothing without its obstacles
Some I can use to my own means
Others are distractions that stifle my power
Giving him more time

A woman who has lost her life like me
She begs on the street for charity
I look at her, trying to see myself
All I saw was weakness

She laid a hand on me pleading for help
I took that hand and ripped it off
She cried begging for mercy
My hatred gave her death

I grabbed the bitch and stabbed her heart
I felt my power grow as she died
No time to rejoice, there is an echo in the Force
Follower of the Light has come for me...

(Bridge)

Chorus: (Done in either a clean voice or different pitch growl, to give the illusion of another person talking in the story/song)

Old ally, brother, friend of mine
Your dark agenda pains me so
There is still time, you can still turn back
Redeem yourself and come back to the light

You will not find peace in your plot for revenge
The dark side brings only suffering, no harmony
Remember, "There is no emotion, there is peace"
Return to the light, for me, for yourself

Verse 3 (Back to the previous growl [aka the dude this story is about]):

I was nothing before, just a fucking cripple
Your way brings stagnation, mine brings me power
It is clear now that you need a demonstration
Experience the dark side, you weak crippled cunt!

(Synth: Lightsaber duel layered with Palpatine dialogue from Return of the Jedi; "Young fool. Only now, at the end, do you understand).

My anger brings me power, brings me strength, brings me victory
Passion is all I need, fuck your peace and your serenity
Your path has lead to your own demise
Death is the only way you will ever learn

(Die!) You weak echo in the Force
(Die!) You are a flaw that needs correcting
(Die!) You now know the pain that I go through
(Chorus voice) STAND DOWN!

(Repeat chorus in the clean/different growl voice)

Bridge to Breakdown (back to original growl):

He's here
I can feel his power
His fear is untamed, and it eats at him slowly
My inner thirst for revenge is quenched

Breakdown:

You took my heir, you took my love
You tricked my brethren and didn't pay
Your death will give me strength
The ability need to end my pain

Your skill lacks in focus, you pussy piece of shit...

.... and that's it so far.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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  #18  
Old 2006-09-06, 18:19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CompelledToLacerate
The one thing I think sets it apart from other corporate products is that it keeps trying and doesn't make you lose interest.


tell that to anyone who's seen the last three

anyways the concept of star wars based lyrics....well its original.
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  #19  
Old 2006-09-06, 18:21
Requiem Requiem is offline
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Good man i like your lyrics
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  #20  
Old 2006-09-06, 18:24
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CompelledToLacerate CompelledToLacerate is offline
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I've also got some idea of what I want another song I made to be about. IT won't be a story like this, but more of a.... I dunno. But the song is right now called "Sodomy Conquest" and it was going to be about either how advertising fucks people in the ass or.... just about a conquest to fuck everyone in the ass. But that was before we decided to go with the Star Wars theme for our songs, so I'm thinking it should be about the Mandalorians and what they are, what they do, why they do it, what their history is. Good stuff.

Probably call it "Mandalorian conquest" or "The Mandalore Crusade"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amadeus
It's really sad, all those people who don't understand why we shouldn't act like our enemies. The real victory is not only killing and imprisoning the terrorists, but also letting civilized manners override the lust for revenge, once the battle is over.
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